A/N: Two years after joining this site and I'm finally posting fics. I never thought this would happen, but it has! Oh my God! So, since this is one of my first fics, please review. Any kind will do as long as there's something!

Summary: Goku is dead. Chichi is depressed. Goten won't stop crying. Gohan doesn't want to be a burden. He leaves his home to make it easier for his mother. Can a certain Satan convince him to go home? Rated T for a teeny bit of swearing.

Disclaimer: I own nothing! If I did, I wouldn't be wasting time writing this. So you can't sue me, nah nah nah nah nah!

Chapter 1: Just Like Him

"It's easier to run, replacing this pain with something numb. It's so much easier to go, then face all this pain here all alone." Linkin Park, 'Easier to Run'

Everyone was there for the party.

Actually, it wouldn't be right to call it a party, because while there was food, music and laughter, it had a depressive quality to it. It was more of a gathering in remembrance of Goku, who had died in the Cell Games almost eight months ago. No one added more to this subtle somber note than the Son's.

Chichi, who was at this time very pregnant, tried to put up a brave face and joined in the conversation eagerly, telling comical stories about her and Goku's life together. But whenever the silence stretched too long, she would start crying. The Ox King had taken the death of his favorite (and only) son-in-law as hard as everybody else. Yet he did his best to act cheerful to console Chichi and brighten up his grandson, but had little to no success.

Then there was Gohan, who didn't even attempt a word or a smile. Upon entering the Capsule Corp. party room, he had gone over and leaned against the wall with his sensei Piccolo and, surprisingly, Vegeta. Everyone knew Gohan blamed himself for the death of his father, and that he was falling in a depression that worsened every passing day. Nothing anyone said could have made it any better. In fact, it seemed to make it worse.

Time went by and everyone (except for the three on the wall) shared stories about their adventures and fun with Goku. Soon Vegeta had left to get something to eat, and Piccolo had begun to meditate, pretty much leaving Gohan alone. Bulma took this opportunity to go talk to the young hybrid.

"Hey Gohan, how ya doin'?" she asked brightly as she approached him. He looked up at her briefly before returning his gaze to the ground. He said, "Fine Bulma, never better," in a muted monotone, like he had said it a hundred times before. Bulma supposed that he probably had.

" 'Fine Bulma, never better'? Is that all you have to say to me? You should be more courteous Gohan, I am your godmother after all," she said haughtily. She thought she saw a shadow of a smile on his face, and smiled to herself. Mission one accomplished. Now to get him talking.

"C'mon kiddo, I know you, you're just like your father. You're usually a bright and happy kid, and now that's gone, and we all kind of miss you. We all saw what happened Gohan, and none of it was your fault. No one here blames you for what happened. We're all worried about you. Why don't you tell me what's bothering you?" She put on her most charming smile and the begging eyes. Gohan just stared at her, and she was about to start over when he sighed.

"I-" He was interrupted by a scream halfway across the room.

Everyone turned to see Chichi holding her stomach in apparent agony, and screaming again. "She's going into labor!" somebody yelled, and soon the room was in utter chaos as everyone tried to get Chichi to the medical wing of CC. After she was finally brought there, Bulma told Gohan and everyone else to wait outside the delivery room. "Trust me, you really don't want to be in here."

Everyone milled about in the waiting room, poker playing, grumbling, meditating, or pacing. The silence was sometimes pierced by a loud scream from behind the supposedly sound proof walls. Whenever this happened, they all had to struggle to keep Gohan from bursting into the room.

About ten hours after Chichi had gone into labor, half the party had left, there had been no word from Bulma, Gohan was close to wearing a path in the floor, and Vegeta kept coming back to see if his mate was finished with 'the harpy' yet. Finally the doors opened and Bulma was smiling.

"It's a boy!" Everyone smiled. "And they're both fine. Gohan, you can go see them now."

Chichi was drowsy, but awake. The baby in her arms however, was fast asleep. Gohan went over and sat down on a chair next to her bedside. "Hey mom. You okay?" Chichi smiled at the concern in his voice.

"I'm fine, Gohan. I want you to meet your brother Goten," she said in a quiet voice, and shifted her arms so Gohan could get a better look. What Gohan saw was a miniature replica of his father. The same nose, the same face, even the same hairstyle, though it went the other way. "Do you want to hold him?" she asked. Gohan looked at her sharply.

"Hold him? What if I drop him, or he starts moving, or-" he was interrupted as Chichi shushed him. She smiled sadly at him.

"You're just like Goku. He was scared to hold you, too." She lifted the baby up in its bundle of blankets and laid it gently in Gohan's hands. "That's it, put your hand behind his neck. There, you're holding him." She smiled genuinely as she watched her eldest son hold the sleeping newborn. Gohan couldn't help but smile as well.

"Hi Goten," he whispered to the baby. "You're my little brother. So I guess that makes me your big brother." It was at this moment that little Goten opened his eyes. He stared at Gohan in a kind of wonder. Then he opened his mouth wide and wailed.

Gohan's smile vanished and his face looked panicked. What was he supposed to do? Why was Goten crying? Hungry? Diaper change? What? What! WHAT? Before he could go into a frenzy, Chichi easily slipped Goten from Gohan's grasp and within seconds had Goten quiet.

Gohan just stared as Chichi cradled Goten. Why had Goten cried like that? He knew that babies often cried, sometimes for no reason at all. But that had seemed more like a scream, a cry to get away from him. Why? Didn't Goten like him? He shook his head. It was stupid to think like that. Goten just wanted his mother. He was being stupid.

It was just coincidence.

The arrival of the baby Goten also brought about the end of peace and quiet in the Son household. Apparently Goten couldn't go two hours without a feeding, and that included well into the night. Being half saiyan, Goten was also able to learn how to crawl faster than regular babies, and was soon getting into things and disappearing from one room to another in the blink of an eye.

As it turned out, that time in CC was not a coincidence. Goten would not let Gohan touch him. He would bawl constantly if Gohan were to pick him up, and when he learned to crawl, he began to crawl away or go into a different room from Gohan.

That left Chichi to take care of Goten and Gohan all by herself. She piled homework and extra studies on Gohan in hopes of keeping him occupied while she took care of Goten and other things. She had hoped that when Goten was born, Gohan would come out of his cheerlessness and be able to be a big brother/father to Goten and become her brilliant, happy scholar once again.

She now saw that it wasn't so, that Gohan seemed to be getting unhappier every day. She wanted to help him, to talk to him. But between the baby, cleaning, shopping, cooking and his studies, she didn't have the time or the energy.

Gohan was indeed becoming more depressed everyday. His brother couldn't stand him. His mother didn't have the time for him. His father wouldn't come back to them. He laid down his pencil and sighed. He closed his eyes and imagined what it would be like if he had been the one to sacrifice himself.

His father would have lived of course, and his parent's would have wished him back. Then Goten would have had both his parents, and been happy. He opened his eyes and crashed back to reality. It was just mom, Goten and him, and they were miserable.

He rose from his desk and walked around his room, stretching his legs. He hadn't trained in a while. Maybe he'd go see what Piccolo was up to. He hadn't seen his sensei since Goten's birth.

He walked out of his room to go tell his mom where he was going. She'd probably have a nervous breakdown if she found him missing. She wasn't in the kitchen, and he grabbed a snack on his way through. She wasn't in the living room, but Goten was, and Gohan quickly left before he started crying. He went to see if she was in her room, when he heard a voice as he passed the window.

It was Chichi, and she sounded like she was talking to somebody. He looked through the window, and saw her holding a phone to her ear with one hand and holding a tissue in the other. Her eyes looked red.

"It gets so hard sometimes, Bulma, trying to take care of both of them. Gohan is so depressed, and I'm not making it any better. Goten won't even come near him. Huh? No, no, I've tried that, but Goten will start crying if Gohan gets within three feet of him. And then there's the house to take care of and the bills to pay, and I can't help but think about how much easier it would be if there was only one of them…"

Gohan turned away from the window and walked back to his bedroom in a kind of daze. He really needed to talk to someone. Best not to interrupt his mother right now. Yes, best to leave her alone for the moment. He left a note on his desk about where he was going, and flew out his window to his sensei's favorite waterfall.

He landed on a rock and saw the green alien floating in mid-air in front of the waterfall, meditating of course. His sensei hated to be interrupted, but Gohan felt that if he didn't talk to someone… he didn't know what he'd do. He hadn't really talked to anyone since… since his father died.

He rose from his rock and floated over to where Piccolo was, and just sort of hovered next to him in silence. It was a few moments before Piccolo spoke.

"What do you want, kid?" he growled. Only Gohan could detect the slight concern. But even if he couldn't, he would still continue with his original intent.

"To talk," he said simply. Piccolo momentarily cracked open an eye to glare at Gohan curiously. "About what?"

"Anything. Everything. Whatever," he mumbled.

"You start then," said Piccolo. He kept his one eye on Gohan as the half-saiyan fidgeted, gathering the courage and the words to say what he meant to say.

"It's all my fault." Piccolo didn't have to ask what. "Everything that's going on right now at home, it's all my fault. If I had listened to Dad, I would have killed Cell when I had the chance and dad would be alive. Mom would be happy, and Goten would've had a father. But I didn't. Dad's dead and he isn't coming back this time. Goten won't let me near him, so mom has to take care of him all by herself, on top of everything else which is more than a handful for her and I'm just dead weight. All of it is my fault."

Piccolo snorted, and Gohan glared at him. "Don't be so selfish, kid," said the Namek. Gohan turned from glaring to staring. Selfish? How? Piccolo wasn't finished.

"It's not all your fault. First, if Cell hadn't been made, none of this would have happened. He wouldn't have killed millions of people along with your father. You would never have had the choice to listen to your father or not. So it's Gero's and Cell's fault. Second, it's your father's fault. Think about it," he said quickly, because Gohan was about to interrupt him angrily, "if Goku had come back and hadn't given us that 'better for the planet' bullshit, your mother would be happy and you and your brother would have a father." Gohan agreed. He understood what Piccolo was saying, and knew he wasn't all to blame. He'd known that from the start. But he still felt he was most to blame, and it didn't help to drive his mother's conversation out of his mind.

"I heard mom tell Bulma about how much easier it would be with only one of us," he whispered. If Piccolo didn't have super-sensitive ears, he wouldn't have been able to hear it.

"Did she specify?" Gohan shook his head. "Then forget it. Everyone's had thoughts like that, even you."

"I know, and I do," he swallowed. "But the more I think about it, the more I think that," he ran a hand through his hair, "…she's right." Piccolo looked at Gohan with both eyes now. What he said in the next few moments could affect his student for the rest of his life.

"So what are you going to do?"

"I don't know." Gohan seemed panicked. "I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't want to hurt mom, but I don't want to be a burden either. I don't know how I'll provide for myself. I'm only twelve!" By now Piccolo had uncrossed his legs and hovered opposite of Gohan.

"If you came here for me to tell you what to do, then you came for nothing." Gohan's desperation increased, but Piccolo was still talking. "You can make your own decisions, and nothing I say will affect them. You're old enough to know this. But before you decide, let me give you this advice." He placed a hand on his student's shoulder and looked him in the eye.

"Do what you feel is right, but make sure that no matter what you choose to do, you have no regrets." Gohan nodded his head in understanding, and his sensei returned to his meditation. The conversation was over.

Love you always, Gohan.

Gohan signed the letter he had written and folded it in its' envelope. He wrote MOM on the outside, and left it on his desk in full view. It explained to Chichi why he was leaving, and that it was for the best. He'd also asked her not to tell Goten about him, the brother whose mere presence made him cry.

He went about his room and packed a few things in his pack. Clothes, a few capsules with food (stored in case of being sent to bed without dinner), books, and a few other things. He was all set to go. Just one more thing.

His brother's room was originally supposed to be across from his, but because of all the crying, Goten's crib was in the living room. Gohan, pack over his shoulder, came up to the crib with the sleeping six-month-old baby. No matter what Goten thought of him, Gohan loved his little brother more than anything.

"Goten," he whispered softly. "You might not remember me when you grow up, but I just want you to know that no matter where I go or what I do, I will always watch out for you." Goten didn't stir, and Gohan took this as a good sign. He silently watched the baby sleep, and might have stayed there watching all night. But he heard a creak upstairs, and decided that he'd better leave before his mother saw him here. With one final look around his home, Gohan opened the door, and walked out.

As many have said before, Gohan was like his father. Protective, heroic, and kind. Both ate enough food to feed a small army, and both had the famous Son grin.

And they both abandoned their families 'for the best'.

A/N: Again, I can't believe I'm posting! So please review, whether it's constructive criticism or burning hot flames. I don't care.

A/N 2: Oh yes, another note. Suggestions are welcome. If there is something you wish to see happen, please add it in your review. Thanks!