Author's Note: Hi there! Lil here! I hope you like this, it's theintroduction towhat I hope will be a series of adventures starring our favorite superhero Snapeman and his faithful sidekick Wolf-Boy! No Wolf-Boy in this chapter, but he comes in in the next one, I promise! The idea popped into my head yesterday while driving home from visiting my friend for a few days, for reasons unknown. I couldn't help but draw it out, I love the idea of these guys as superheroes! It makes me giggle uncontrollably! I hope you enjoy it, please review! And remember, be nice! Also go and check out my recently updated fic Love Potion Number 9, which also stars our favorite professors having strange adventures trying to avoid love-struck ladies after Snape! Thanks to all who reviewed that so far, you guys are great! Anywho, on with the disclaimer! And remember also that it is supposed to be like a comic-book, seeing as how it is one. Well, I made one, lol!
Disclaimer: I own the comic Snapeman and Wolf-Boy that I drew, which is so much funnier than the story because you can see the funny pictures to go along with it! But you will just have to settle for the story, alas! I do not, however, own their secret identities Severus Snape and Remus Lupin. Wish I did, though. Pity. And now on with the story! Sorry it's so short, but it's rather late and I don't feel like typing much.
The Adventures Of Snapeman and Wolf-Boy!
Chapter 1
The Beginnings of a Snapey Identity
Our adventure begins in the dungeons of Hogwarts. There, lurking in a dark lab, is not some villain plotting the world's demise, but our dashing hero. He is brewing a very dangerous concoction for the school Herbology teacher which is very delicate and has to be handled very gingerly. Just then, a mischievous Weasley twin who is prowling around in the hallway cackles quite evilly before tossing a small object into the room and then running off. The tiny projectile flies through the air before landing with a
SPLASH!
into the bubbling cauldron, unbeknownst to the potion maker, who is turned around and chopping chimera toenails. But he realizes something is not right when his brew begins to make a whistling sound. He turns around quickly, just in time to
BOOM!
be hit with a face full of the slimy orange goo as it explodes from the cauldron! Screaming curses inappropriate for a teacher to be uttering in a school full of children, the man waves his wand to clear the mess in the room and then stalks off to his chambers to wash off the sludge before his head begins to sprout sunflowers or some other scary plant life.
"CURSES!"
he yells to his bathroom whilst soaking in his raspberry-scented bubble bath. "Those insolent brats! They shouldn't be allowed to cavort about like monkeys and cause so much mayhem! Something has got to be done about this!"
And then he gets an idea, an awful idea! Snape now has a wonderfully awful idea! He will save the people of the school from incidents like this by stopping crimes in Hogwarts! But how? Well, he can always dress in spandex and a cape and run around like a lunatic using interesting gadgets to thwart evil! Wait, that sounds ridiculous... So ridiculous it's brilliant! Yes, that settles it, he will become a
SUPERHERO!
Hopping out of his tub and grabbing a fluffy pink towel, he runs into his living room to start designing costumes and thinking of a superhero-ey name!
Sitting down at his table, quill in hand, Snape is writing down superhero-ey names on a parchment. But some of them don't sound very clever, and he scratches them off one by one with a growl while talking to himself.
"Super Snape?… No, too predictable.
The Snape?… Too simple.
Mighty Snape?… Way too cheesy!
The Incredible Snape?… That does sound impressive, but I don't think so.
The Snape-inator?… Oh right, like I'm buff enough to pull that one off!
Mysterious Snape?… Well I am quite mysterious, but no.
Dr. Snape?… Ha! As if anyone in their right mind would actually believe I'm a doctor!
Snapeman?… Hmm, simple, stylish, superhero-ey… I like the sound of it. Yes! I shall call myself…
SNAPEMAN!
Yes! And I shall be feared by evil-doers everywhere! Now I'm off to fight crime!"
With this he jumps up and bounds out the door in a very superhero-like manner… only to be met with catcalls, whistles, and a few horrified screams! Embarrassedly dashing back in, he slams the door behind him. Apparently he has forgotten to get dressed and is still in just the fluffy pink bath towel.
"Fine then," he announces to the empty room, "First I shall make a
COSTUME!
Then, after clothing myself in the aforementioned costume, I'll be off to fight crime!" That said, he wanders off to rummage around in the closet for his sewing machine.