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Chapter 42 Fashion VictimsDo you prefer fashion victim or ensemblelly challenged?
Cher in Clueless
Alexis looked over at Snape as they ate a late brunch, "Exactly what types of potions are you going to be making to raise money for him?"
Severus replied with a snort, "Vanity potions for the most part. Lucius and Narcissa will want liters of the hair dye potion."
Alexis snorted into her coffee, "They dye their hair?"
Snape cast her a derisive look, "All of the Blacks have jet black hair," Snape paused for effect, "except Narcissa. What does that tell you?"
Alexis nibbled on her toast and asked, "But what about Lucius? And Draco?"
"Lucius was as blonde as Draco in his youth but his hair has darkened with age. It is more a dirty blonde now naturally than the platinum he prefers," Severus explained.
"So what are they doing now if you haven't been making them a hair dye potion?" Alexis asked.
"Hair color charms," Snape replied, "But they have to be refreshed daily and they tend to dry the hair out. My hair dye potion lasts for six months and your roots don't show until the last day of the six months is up."
"What other vanity potions?" Alexis was really getting interested in all of this.
"The Bulstrodes will want depilatory potions," Snape answered after a moments thought.
"Is that easier than a shaving charm?" Alexis was thinking she might have Severus make her one if it were.
"Mildred Bulstrode told me that it kept the hair on her face, arms and back from re-growing for three months while a shaving charm only worked for three days," Snape smirked as his wife's eyes grew wide.
"Most of the Death Eaters will pay dearly for my Viagerus Potion. And then their ladies pay even more dearly for the counter potion," Snape said with an evil grin.
Alexis tried to grin back but her face wouldn't cooperate.
Snape gave her a serious look, "Don't worry about the meeting tonight."
"Ahh but Severus," Alexis tried to lighten the mood, "I haven't a thing to wear."
Snape snorted softly.
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Alexis twisted in front of the full-length mirror trying to decide if the dress emphasized her pregnancy or hid it. Catching sight of Severus in the mirror, "What do you think?"
Snape took his time perusing the Slytherin green gown. The drape of the fabric seemed to emphasize the tiny bump that was Alexis' pregnancy. The vee of the neckline hinted at her cleavage and the sleeveless top left her arms bare from the shoulders down. "Trying to make a statement are we?"
"Of course I am," Alexis grinned at him. She rubbed her tummy, "Good breeder of pureblood babies." Indicating the modest robes, "Faithful wife," and holding up her bare arms, "unmarked."
Snape nodded his approval, "Have you removed all of your memories that could be dangerous?"
Alexis indicated the Pensieve sitting on the desk, "I feel as if I've shed a heavy weight. Do you think Dumbledore would let me keep my memories there?"
"Doubtful," Snape replied.
"I wonder where I can get my own pensieve," Alexis answered half-seriously.
"It is time to go," Snape said holding out her traveling cloak.
Alexis stroked Aniya who hissed comfortingly from her wrist.
"Remember that Aniya is bonded to us and even though the Dark Lord is a Parseltongue she will protect you. Don't accept anything to drink or eat unless she tells you it is safe," Snape wrapped the cloak around her shoulders and gave them a squeeze.
Alexis took his hand and rubbed her face on it, "Let's do this."
Snape nodded and placing her hand in the crook of his arm they headed out.
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Once again the meeting was to be held at Malfoy Manor. Under the guise of a small, intimate dinner party for thirty or so, Alexis was to be formally introduced to Voldemort. Snape had been tutoring her in the etiquette demanded by the deranged madman.
"Remember you must not rise until he gives you permission. When you leave the room you must back out of it until you reach the door. Never," he emphasized, "turn your back to him. Are you sure you want to go through with this?"
Alexis smiled at him reassuringly, "Yes darling."
Snape gave her a puzzled look. Alexis just smiled at him, "Whatever you think is best." She had decided to make sure that there were no recent memories for Voldemort to use against them.
Snape sighed, "We'll be there soon."
Alexis and Snape were shown into the small, family parlor when they arrived. Lucius came forward and kissed Alexis' cheek briefly. Alexis managed to repress the shudder of revulsion and considered it the first small victory of the evening.
"Alexis you are positively glowing," Lucius smiled.
"Thank you," Alexis moved to sit next to Narcissa. "Narcissa you look beautiful as always."
Narcissa inclined her head in the properly correct two inches to acknowledge the compliment.
"What can I get you to drink while we wait on the rest of our guests?" Lucius offered.
As Alexis sipped her gillywater she knew it was going to be a very long night.
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Alexis was carefully repeating all of Severus' etiquette instructions to herself over and over as she knelt face down on the floor in front of the throne like chair in which Voldemort was seated.
"Rise my child," Voldemort hissed softly.
Keeping her eyes firmly fixed to the floor and her mind as blank as possible, Alexis got awkwardly to her feet.
"Come closer," was the hissed order.
Alexis stepped forward until she was standing in front of the snake man. A cold, dry hand tilted her head up to meet red slitted eyes, "Such a pretty face."
"Thank you my lord," Alexis replied breathlessly.
"Am I your lord?"
"Severus told me you were," Alexis responded simply.
Alexis felt a faint whisper of magic against her skin. It felt as though she had just brushed through cobwebs. She focused on Severus allowing her mind to fill with images of him and how he made her feel. The touch was quickly withdrawn.
Alexis smiled at him innocently as she desperately tried to channel Wilhelmina Engvall.
"So my dear are you happy at Hogwarts?" he asked her silkily as he tried to read her again.
Alexis flooded her mind with images of all the places she and Severus had made love at inside and outside of the castle at Hogwarts. She was mildly surprised herself to realize how thoroughly they had 'christened' the castle, "Yes my lord," she responded quietly.
Voldemort shuddered and dropped his hand from her face. It took a moment for him to gather his composure; he would never look at Snape again in quite the same way after that last image. The man was thirty-seven years old for Merlin's sake he really shouldn't be that flexible.
"And what do you think of Albus Dumbledore?" he managed to continue his questioning.
He was surprised to hear her giggle, "I'm sorry my lord, please forgive me. Severus tells me I have to show him respect."
"And why is that?"
Alexis stared at him blankly for several long moments just blinking in confusion before responding hesitantly, "I've never asked him why my lord. Severus doesn't like it when I ask him questions."
"He doesn't?"
"No my lord, he tells me not to worry that he will do my thinking for me," she smiled at him.
"And what do you think about that?" Voldemort wanted to know.
Again his question was met with confused silence before she ventured, "I don't know my lord, I've never thought about it. Things are much easier when Severus makes all the decisions and tells me what to do. He tells me he is much smarter than I am."
Voldemort was thinking that a turnip was smarter than this woman. Deciding to make one last stab at her, "And what do you think of Severus?"
The flood of images that swamped him had him slamming up his mental shields and breaking off all contact with the witch in front of him. He barely heard her response, "Severus is wonderful. The way he touches me…"
Voldemort abruptly cut her off, "Look at the time. You are going to miss the fashion show if you don't leave right this moment."
Alexis blinked at the abrupt change of topic and the giving him a deep curtsey, "Thank you my lord," she backed from the room.
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Lucius and Severus were meeting with the dark lord. Snape tried to pretend an interest in what Lucius was saying, "Have you heard this one my lord? How many blood traitors does it take to light the candles in a room?"
Voldemort waved him to continue.
Lucius chuckled, "As many as you want to."
Voldemort stared at him, "I don't get it Lucius."
"See my lord, you just have to tell one of your loyal followers how many blood traitors you want to light the candles in the room and we would make them do it for you," Lucius explained.
"But why would I want blood traitors to light candles in a room? Why wouldn't I just do it myself or order one of my loyal followers to do it for me?" Voldemort's voice grew cold, "Are you trying to say I am too weak to light my own candles?"
"No my lord, never that," Lucius hastened to say, "It was just a joke my lord."
"Not a very funny one Lucius," Voldemort told him. "You may go now."
Lucius backed from the room leaving Severus to a private meeting with Voldemort. Snape was anxious to get back to Alexis. He had only had a glimpse of her after she left from her private meeting with Voldemort. She appeared to be okay but he would feel better once he had spoken with her.
"Well Severus," Voldemort hissed, "I am impressed with your choice of bride."
Snape bowed his head, "Thank you master."
"Although she seems a particularly lusty witch," Voldemort said with a touch of revulsion.
Snape wasn't sure how to answer that observation so maintained his silence.
Snape joined Alexis in the ballroom at Malfoy manor. A long runway had been set up in the middle of the room and chairs had been arranged all along the length of the platform.
"What are we doing?" Snape hissed quietly to Alexis as he settled into the chair next to hers.
"We appear to be in for a treat," Alexis smiled coolly, "Avery is going to preview the new line of Death Eater robes for us."
Snape crossed his arms over his chest and glared, "You must be kidding."
"Not at all, of course these are all of the possibilities. You-Know-Who will chose which robes make the final cut," Alexis answered.
"Did I miss anything?" Snape asked dryly.
"Well, Narcissa and Avery got into a cat fight as to who was going to be emceeing the fashion show," Alexis snickered quietly.
"Did I miss anything important?" Snape stressed sarcastically.
"It was important to them," Alexis replied. "I don't think I've ever seen Narcissa so coolly correct and Avery was having a hissy fit. I really believe they would have started hexing each other if Lucius hadn't stepped in."
"And what did dear Lucius decide?" Snape asked sardonically.
"What do you think?" Alexis smiled, "Narcissa of course is emceeing."
"How did Avery take that?" Snape questioned.
"Well Lucius told him that he was needed to model the robes." Alexis took a sip of the drink she was carefully nursing. Aniya had warned her several times during the course of the evening not to accept a specific drink.
"Who was going to model the robes earlier?" Snape wanted to know.
"Actually it seems as if Avery was planning on emceeing and modeling at the same time," Alexis said trying not to laugh.
"He was the same way at school," Snape said dismissively.
"He wanted to model robes at school?" Alexis almost spilled her drink in her surprise.
"No," Snape stated with a smirk, "he wanted to run everything. They had to ban him from the Quidditch team because he tried to play all seven positions at the same time."
"He does seem to be a bit of a control freak," Alexis said as she carefully scanned the room.
Narcissa took her place at the podium set up to the right of the long runway and after applying a sonorous charm, "Hello, testing, one, two, three. Can everyone hear me? Testing. Testing. Lucius I think there is something wrong with my charm." Narcissa turned to her husband.
"Your charm is working fine," Lucius reassured her curtly. There was a murmur of agreement from the assembled Death Eaters.
"Thank you," Narcissa was reading from note cards, "for your kind attention. Tonight we will be premiering the fashions that will strike fear into the hearts of Blood Traitors, terrorize mudbloods and let the world know that the Dark Lord has returned," Narcissa paused for the polite applause that greeted this statement.
"And now I would like to present our first selection of the evening," she waved a hand and Avery came strutting down the stage wearing flowing black robes with a deep hood and his mask. "This ensemble is made of summer weight wool and is cut to allow the maximum amount of arm movement." Avery demonstrated by waving his wand around vigorously. "It is perfect for those summer raids in warm weather." Avery swirled around while Narcissa continued her patter, "With a built in hood," Avery flipped the hood on and off his head, "and a wand holster," now he pushed back his sleeve and demonstrated the ease with which he could stow his wand and retrieve it, "these robes are designed for both comfort and efficiency."
Avery gave one last twirl and headed back down the stage to a smatter of applause.
A few seconds latter Narcissa continued, "Our second selection is for the more active Death Eater." Avery strutted out in another set of billowing black robes. "As you can see these robes are cut a full two inches shorter than our first set. This allows for more ease when chasing down those fleeing victims." Avery demonstrated by running a few steps. "No more tripping on those long hems gentlemen," Narcissa enthused. "These are also made of the finest summer wool with a tight weave that will wear well and resist stains and tears." Avery tugged on the sleeves at this. "These also come with the built in hood and wand holster. Thank you Avery."
Avery disappeared behind the curtains at the end of the runway. There was a muffled grunt and a thud. Narcissa looked at the curtains anxiously. As the assembly was getting restless Avery pushed the curtains aside and hurried out again in billowing black robes. Narcissa gushed, "Our third selection is designed for those cold winter evenings stalking and hunting mudbloods." Avery crouched down and pretended to stalk something. "The black color blends in perfectly with shadows and allows the wearer distinct advantage. The ankle length is a nice compromise between athlete and fashion allowing freedom of movement while at the same time showing your sense of style. These robes are made of thick warm wool with a built in warming charm. The flame retardant charm makes them the perfect choice for those times the Dark Lord orders include burning as well as pillaging and murder."
Alexis noticed that interest seemed to perk up at the mention of flame retardant charms. Snape leaned over to whisper in her ear, "Those robes were designed with Crabbe in mind. He has set himself on fire more often than the target. No one wants to go on missions with him anymore. He caught Lucius' hair on fire once." Snape snickered, "When Lucius finished with him it took three of us to remove Crabbe's head from…" Snape trailed off here, "Well let's just say Crabbe wasn't able to sit for about a month." Snape stopped talking as he caught Narcissa's disapproving glare.
Avery had disappeared and reappeared. Alexis was surprised to see him in green robes this time. "This ensemble is perfect for the Death Eater on the go. This is what you want to wear those times when you have to appear in the public eye but want to be ready for any eventuality." Avery twirled a cane as he swayed down the catwalk. "A simple touch of the wand and the correct code word," Narcissa paused as Avery demonstrated and suddenly his stylish green robes were now black billowing robes with a deep hood and he was again wearing his mask, "and you are ready to answer the Dark Lord's call."
There was more enthusiastic applause this time and murmurs of approval. Narcissa beamed at them, "These robes are available in green, blue, gray, pinstripe and tweed."
"Now for those 'Come As You Are' raids we have this sturdy yet still stylish set," Avery appeared in billowing black robes. "This selection has a detachable hood and the wand holster is concealed in a hip pocket." Narcissa paused as Avery showed everyone how easy it was to remove the hood, "It's like magic," Narcissa gushed. "And the hood and mask can be concealed in an inner pocket allowing you to go from Death Eater to innocent bystander in mere moments."
Alexis settled back into her chair as Avery disappeared only to again appear in billowing black robes. This was going to be a long night.
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Alexis and Snape had been debriefed by Dumbledore and were now alone in bed. Snape had been acting distant and aggravated ever since his meeting with Voldemort. Alexis was determined to get to the bottom of the matter and had snuggled up to him, "Tell me," she ordered softly.
"What?" Snape snarked.
"Tell me what has you so upset," she nestled even closer.
"I have no idea what you are talking about," Snape rubbed his chin on the top of her head knowing that it irritated her to feel his stubble pulling at her hair.
Alexis ignored the aggravation and persevered, "What has upset you? The evening went as well as could be expected."
Snape nodded and continued to brood.
"You do realize that I am not going to let you go to sleep until you tell me what happened tonight," Alexis stroked his chest.
Snape stayed stubbornly silent.
Alexis sighed and asked, "Did he want me to take the mark?"
Snape hugged her tightly, "No, he agreed that it might be detrimental to your pregnancy."
"Did he seem suspicious of something?" Alexis continued.
"He is always suspicious," Snape answered shortly, "That is the nature of his disease. But he wasn't overly suspicious of us or of you."
Alexis twisted so she could see his face, "Than would you please tell me what has gotten your knickers in a knot?"
Snape gave her a long considering look before relenting, "He complimented me on my choice of a beautiful, fertile and rich young witch: a witch without any living relatives or close friends." Alexis waited. "He commented on your lustiness." Alexis smirked at him. "What made him ask that?" Snape had wanted to know the answer to that question ever since his meeting with the Dark Lord.
Alexis sniggered, "Probably because the whole time I was in his presence all I was concentrating on was remembering our first time together, our last time together and anticipating our next time together."
Snape grimaced, "So he is privy to all the details of our sex life?"
"Not at all." Alexis snuggled closer, "He seems to be a bit of a prude," she paused to gather her thoughts and impressions, "I could feel him trying to read me so I would really concentrate on you and how you make me feel. As soon as it got too graphic he pulled away."
"I doubt if I can get away with that," Snape mused.
Alexis was not to be distracted though, "That can't be what upset you," she prodded.
Snape glared at her before giving in, "He also told me that he couldn't find any sign of brain damage from the Sleeping Death Curse. And finally he wanted to know if I had used a potion or the Imperious Curse on you to get you to marry someone like me."
Snape snarled as he felt Alexis start to shake with silent laughter.
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It was a few days before the start of term and Alexis had gone back to 12 Grimmauld Place. She had decided that while Dumbledore might be able to keep her from telling anyone what was going to happen this year, it didn't mean she couldn't try to work to prevent it.
She had already changed things by marrying Severus and having his children: neither of which were in the books she had read. Also, Amber Doff had not been part of that particular reality. If she had changed those few things, maybe she could change some other things.
Nathair, Aleser and Slinky had accompanied her on her visit. Sirius seemed to derive pleasure from being with the twins. They especially enjoyed it when he would transform into Snuffles and play with them.
Alexis left the three of them playing. Slinky was a watchful guardian. Alexis trusted Sirius with the boys but she really didn't trust Kreacher. She had caught Walburga Black's portrait in the hallway screaming at the boys about being blood traitors. Slinky had cast a stunning charm on the portrait and then painted a moustache and devil horns on her. It was the worst thing he could do since she had only insulted his charges and not actually harmed them. Sirius had approved the changes to his dear old mum's painting and wouldn't let anyone change it back.
A frustrating hour later Alexis was ready to hex Harry Potter seven ways to Sunday. "So you've had a hard knock life," she snarled at him, "people keep 'secrets' from you. You feel like the whole world is against you," she took a deep calming breath, "welcome to puberty Mr. Potter and please fasten your safety belt it's gonna' be a bumpy ride."
Harry glared at her in confusion, "What the bloody hell is that supposed to mean?"
Alexis stared back at him before bursting into laughter, "I don't really know." Running a hand through her hair she gestured for him to take a seat before sitting next to him on the sofa. "Harry if it were up to me I would tell you everything you want to know," at Harry's accusatory look, "but it's not up to me. There are things I can't tell anyone, not even Dumbledore or Severus."
Harry glared at the name of his most hated professor.
"Harry, one of the first things you learn as an adult," she nudged him "is that you don't always get what you want."
Harry's scowled darkened.
"Do you really think that everyone in the Order knows exactly what everyone else knows?" she asked sternly. "Think about that Harry James Potter." She got to her feet and headed to the door, "And one more thing to think about; if you want to be treated like an adult, you better start acting like one. Learn to control you anger and clear you mind Harry. It is vitally important."
Harry stopped scowling as he saw for the first time how serious she really was, "I'll work on it."
Alexis stared at him for a long minute before nodding, "Harry this is something with which no one else can help you."
Harry stared at the closed door after Alexis had left. Grabbing a cushion he plopped it on the floor and settled down to practice his breathing meditation.
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It was the September first and Alexis had snuck out to 12 Grimmauld Place. There was one thing she could do that she hoped would prevent some future aggravation.
She arrived just in time. Everyone was in the front hallway getting ready to go. Snuffles was dancing impatiently anxious to get a taste of freedom and fresh air.
Alexis grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and pulled him into the parlor. Sirius changed back and shook her hand off, "What's the big idea?"
"You can't go out as Snuffles," Alexis stated, "Wormtail will have told him about your Animagus form."
Sirius was looking rebellious.
Alexis glared right back at him, "I didn't say you couldn't go. I said you can't go as Snuffles."
"Then how the bloody hell am I supposed to go," he demanded.
Alexis smiled a wicked smile, "Just stand still for a minute and I'll show you."
A few minutes later a very unhappy looking parrot was sitting on Alexis' shoulder as she came out of the parlor.
"Who or what is that?" Harry asked pointing at the very large, very green bird.
"That is Pepe," she smiled, "Snuffles' alter-ego."
"Sirius is that you," Harry held his arm out for the large green bird.
Pepe walked along Harry's arm and up to his shoulder, "Snivellus is a snot," the parrot croaked out.
Harry laughed while Alexis glared at the bird, "Keep it up, I know a nice recipe for poached parrot."
Pepe flapped his wings and croaked out his disapproval, "No! No! No!"
Alexis began to shoo them out the door, "You lot had better get going or you will miss the train."
Molly screeched as she saw the time, "Get going."
Alexis leaned toward Sirius, "See you when you get back."
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Lupin returned with Sirius clinging to his shoulder. The bird was squawking flapping his wings angrily. Feathers were flying everywhere and Alexis blanched at the curses coming from the furious bird. Alexis turned even whiter as she noticed the tall, black clad wizard storming in behind Lupin.
"Severus, what a pleasant surprise," Alexis smiled sickly at him.
Snape glared at her, "Alexis it is time to return to Hogwarts."
"Yes dear," Alexis replied. Snape turned his head to glare at Sirius who was awkwardly trying to fly about the parlor. Alexis noticed for the first time a long red scratch still bleeding slightly running down his left cheek.
Furious she glowered at Sirius, "Sirius Black if you are responsible for my husband's face…"
Sirius interrupted with a croak, "Not me. Not me. Blame his parents. Sour puss. Here kitty, kitty."
Snape grabbed Alexis arm before she could snatch the aggravating avian from the air. Alexis and Remus both stared at him in surprise. Snape smirked, "Not with your bare hands Alexis. You're a witch, use you're wand."
Remus stepped between the infuriated witch and the parrot, "Everyone just calm down." He gave the bird a firm look, "And Sirius keep your," here he paused briefly lips twitching slightly, "beak closed."
The parrot finally landed with a soft thud on the sofa and settled its feathers.
Remus asked Alexis, "What spell did you use? I haven't been able to lift it."
"Darla and I worked it out," Alexis replied as she preformed the counter charm allowing Sirius to resume his human form much to Snape's irritation.
Sirius popped back into his normal self and scowled up at her, "I still don't know why I had to go out as a bloody bird. I would have been perfectly safe as Snuffles."
Alexis stared at him, "Have you forgotten that most of the Death Eaters have children that attend Hogwarts?" Alexis continued without giving Sirius a chance to respond, "And most of those parents were on the platform seeing their children off to school," she held up a finger to stop him commenting, "AND I'm sure Pettigrew has informed all of them to be on the look out for a large black dog."
Sirius opened and shut his mouth several times.
"Look," Alexis said with an understanding look on her face, "if you want to be able to get out of this place every once in a while, you are going to have to be careful. Snuffles is no longer an adequate disguise." Alexis rested her hand on his shoulder, "But Darien, Darla, Amber and I are all working on alternatives."
Sirius shook his shaggy hair back and nodded once before getting to his feet and leaving the room with a final glare at the smirking Snape.
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"And just what possessed you to go gallivanting off today?" Snape hissed to Alexis as they walked up to the castle.
"It was something I needed to do Severus," Alexis tried to explain.
Snape stopped her with a hand on her arm, "Just what is it with you and Black?"
Alexis stared at him for a moment, "You should know that there is nothing between us."
Snape stared at her, "Exactly what do you mean by that?"
"The binding ceremony," Alexis reminded him before shaking off his hand and continuing toward the school.
"So you know about that?" Snape questioned uneasily.
"I've known about it for a while now," Alexis sighed stopping again to look up at him. Seeing the worried look on his face she grinned, "It is actually comforting in a weird way to know you can never cheat on me," she admitted.
"You can also never cheat on me," Snape reminded her.
"I never would have," Alexis grinned at him, "No matter how many slightly deranged, escaped Azkaban prisoners who are also unregistered Animagus I might chance to meet."
Snape gave her a long look, "Then exactly what is it with Black. You have been involved with him in some way ever since he reappeared."
"I feel sorry for him," Alexis tried to explain. "He was sent to Azkaban for a crime he didn't commit," Alexis continued before he could interrupt, "I know he tried to kill you when you were at school together. But he probably served more time in prison for a crime he didn't commit than he would have spent for what he did to you."
Snape broke in, "What are you talking about?"
"What happened when it was believed Hagrid accidentally killed a student with his pet monster?" Alexis asked. When Snape didn't answer she continued, "His wand was snapped and he was expelled from school. Sirius didn't kill you and it probably would have been argued that he didn't intend to kill you just scare you. So what do you think would have been done to him?"
Snape glared at her unable to come up with a proper response.
"Sirius is an arrogant git but he paid for his crimes many time over. He has lost everyone close to him except Remus and Harry. He is an outlaw on the run and once again he is imprisoned." Snape started at this. "Would you like to be stuck inside 12 Grimmauld Place?"
Snape shook his head and started back up the walkway with Alexis beside him.
"Severus I want you to really think about something," Alexis took his hand, "Do you really wish Sirius dead? Wait don't give me your knee jerk reaction. Just think about it for me." Alexis squeezed his hand before changing the topic, "Have you met the new Defense Teacher yet?"
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The first staff meeting of the new term was being held a scant two hours before the train was due to arrive. Alexis was seated next to Severus in the staff room. Albus had just introduced Dolores Jane Umbridge to the rest of the staff. Dolores had hemm hemmed her way through a speech and had resumed her seat.
Professor McGonagall was staring at her, "You mean that you will not be teaching the students how to perform any spells this year?"
"I believe I have already gone over my curriculum for the upcoming school year," Umbridge simpered.
"But how are the students supposed to be prepared?" Professor Vector asked.
"Prepared for what exactly?" Umbridge questioned in her high pitched voice.
"For being attacked?" Vector stated.
"My dear professor," Umbridge cooed, "do you really believe that the students will be attacked in my classroom?"
Alexis couldn't resist. Before Vector could respond Alexis adopted her best dumb blonde look and replied, "Professor Umbridge is absolutely correct Septima." This garnered Alexis several stunned looks, "I mean really none of the children have been attacked in a classroom."
Umbridge was preening at the support. The Malfoy's had been right about the Snapes.
Alexis continued with a slight smile, "The hallways, dorms, and grounds, but never the classrooms."
"Whatever are you talking about Madame Snape?" Umbridge's voice had lost some of its simper.
Alexis blinked at her several times blankly before smiling, "Why just last year dear Draco was attacked in the hallway by that escaped prisoner posing as Professor Moody." Alexis turned to Professor McGonagall, "Minerva you witnessed the attack," McGonagall nodded waiting to see where Alexis was going with this, "That monster transfigured Draco into a ferret and then bounced him all around the hallway," Alexis said indignantly. "And then the preceding year another escaped prisoner attacked a student in his bed and then he attacked several students while they were on the grounds." Alexis turned with a look of hero worship on her face to Snape, "If Severus hadn't been so brave and rescued those poor children there is no telling what might have happened to them."
Turning to look at Umbridge she smiled brightly, "So will you be teaching the children how to protect themselves from escaped prisoners in the hallways, on the grounds and in their dorms?" Alexis screwed up her face as though in thought and finding the process painful, "Although I don't think you would be able to get a whole class into one of the dorm rooms. Maybe Professor Dumbledore could have your classroom fixed up to resemble a dorm room." Alexis turned to look at Albus in inquiry but was interrupted by Umbridge.
Umbridge looked as if she had swallowed something particularly nasty, "As there will be no more escapes from Azkaban than there is no reason to teach the children such nonsense."
"Wonderful," Alexis gushed excitedly, "it is so reassuring to have a ministry official here to keep us informed of these matters." Alexis stopped there as the pressure Snape was exerting on her thigh had reached the slightly painful mark.