Category: Card Captor Sakura, Sakura and Syaoran
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own Card Captors, I don't own Sakura, I damn wish I owned Syaoran (as does all the other fangirls over the net), but he isn't mine either. Down to the point, CCS belongs to CLAMP, not me. I do own a piggy bank which holds two pennies and a Euro buck, but that's about it. Oh, and Kurogane Kaoru is not mine either. He belongs to...well, whoever it is that owns Flame of Recca. But he's adorable, so I put him in, not that he's really in character...
Spoilers: None, this is an AU fic.
General Notes: Okie...so Assassin has been lazy and hasn't updated in a while, big deal, right? (readers start throwing random fruits and vegetables) Okay, so I've taken a bit more than a while. But I insist I was busy...doing...stuff...ok, I'll be serious, I read a lot of fanfiction, watched a lot of anime, downloaded heaps of manga, got myself a new laptop and had to backup my old desktop because it's dying, and I had a lot of school work. So, Assassin has a perfectly legitimate reason for taking so long. Well, sorry to all those people who have been waiting. I'll try to update a bit faster next time...
Specific Notes: None really, since I should have posted this section at the start and not the middle of the story. Anyway, story with my favorite CLAMP characters (well, a few of my favourites, since this isn't a fusion...), and a little bit of angst. Oh, and there is a small torture scene in this chapter...I know, I hate torture scenes...okay, I'll take that back, I'm slightly sadistic and don't mind torture scenes so much as they have a purpose...but anyways, nobody likes Syaoran getting tortured! Anyways...yea, beware of that...
Music: I do - Ghost in the Shell OST II; Ninja - Jay Chou; Superstar - SHE; Our Love - FIR (I know, I've been listening to way too much pop); Papercut - Linkin Park; Confessions - Usher
Genre: Romance; action/adventure; mild angst
Summary: After ploughing through yet another battle, Li Syaoran finds himself captured and subject to interrogation and torture, only to be saved by the princess of the very country he is fighting against.

Justification

(Passage-02: Help)

There was a crack and Syaoran felt his back crack in pain. He clenched his fists and gritted his teeth, keeping silent.

'Whom do you work for?' The general asked again. This time, Syaoran looked him in the eye. Anger and disgust were exchanged between both men, and Syaoran fell on his stomach as another whip slashed across his back. Not long after, Syaoran felt the pain as a burning pin was jabbed into his shoulder. He did not scream; screaming would only give these men satisfaction, and he has given them enough of that already.

'Where did you learn your sword technique?' The general's angry voice asked. Syaoran didn't reply, but his body was forced upright until he was in standing position, then the general's fist connected with Syaoran's face, knocking him backwards. This assault was followed by several hot needles being jabbed into Syaoran's flesh, more whipping, and the force of chairs being broken on his back.

Although Syaoran was no longer using his body very much for anything, he could still feel the limp feeling as his arms and legs went past the pain barrier, and all that was left was a sense of dull numbness. After that, anything that was jabbed into it, or indeed, came in contact with it, Syaoran felt none of it. He was also aware that the room was starting to dissolve until finally, all that was left was darkness.

But the darkness didn't last long, and it wasn't long before Syaoran felt ice-cold water being poured on his body. The coolness of the water felt so good to Syaoran that he yearned that the did it again. But they didn't, and Syaoran felt the heat creep up on him once more. If this kept going, Syaoran was not going to survive.

Once again, weapons and other forms of torture were practiced on Syaoran until the solders that administered them became tired. This was when Syaoran was hauled back to his cell, and everybody left him to a feverish rest.

Syaoran was tired, so tired. But he could not entirely fall asleep. When he did, dark shapes haunted him like ghosts until he was driven awake. And while he was awake, all he could feel was the heat that was now burning Syaoran like some kind of awful fire, and the pain that came from everywhere. Syaoran's body was no longer useful to him, for he could not even lift himself. All he could do was lie in the position that the solders had threw him in as, and hope that something good would happen.

When Syaoran thought he died earlier on the battlefield, he thought that death was just another obstacle for him, and he could only wish that it came a little later so he could kill a little more. But now; now, all Syaoran wished for was that death would claim his body, and he would be in peace.

These thoughts of death, his own demons and anger eventually drove Syaoran to a feverish sleep. But for how long he was asleep, Syaoran did not know. Nor could he calculate it. For whether it was night, or day, or whether time had passed at all, when Syaoran awoke, it was always to the same scene. Just the dank passageway outside his cell, and the dim lights burning in their brackets.

Then something caught Syaoran's attention; it was the voice of a young girl. She was apparently in argument with an older man who was screaming loudly, though not nearly as loud as the girl. Syaoran did not respond at all, until the girl's voice was no more, and the face of the general's appeared before his face.

Once again, Syaoran was taken into a hard period of questioning. Blood pulsed through Syaoran's veins just as fast as ever, but his joints could no longer respond. In the end, when Syaoran was thrown back into his cell, he was burning more then ever, and his body feeling dead and limp.

During the time between his next questioning and now, Syaoran would sleep in broken segments. He never dreamed anything good, always blurry dreams that awoke him moments later sweating and more drained. At some point, food was delivered. But because Syaoran's arms were still bound together, he could not even get himself to eat it. Instead, he would stare dully at the food and hope that he would die soon.

Then one night when Syaoran awoke, he thought he felt his body moving, though against its own will. When he opened his eyes, he saw a passageway ahead of him, though it was shaking slightly because of movement. Syaoran closed his eyes, the whole scene made him sick. Before long, he was asleep once more.

When Syaoran returned to consciousness, he felt for the first time in ages a feeling that he thought he'd never feel: comfort. Blinking his eyes open, Syaoran's eyes met with a very unfamiliar ceiling, though it was not terrible in any way. In fact, it was like he was staring into the night sky, because that was what he saw. He blinked for a moment after, unsure what was going on. His entire body was relaxed, and he was starting to feel some parts of it too. He was no longer burning with a toxic fever, but feeling cool and calm.

'You're awake, oh good.' Syaoran saw a girl's face come into view. He had seen this girl once, and had heard her voice, and it was all he could do to stop himself from gasping in surprise; he was gazing into the eyes of Kinomoto Sakura.

Sakura felt Syaoran's forehead, then her own, then walked off only to return moments later with a damp cloth which she placed on Syaoran's forehead. It felt cool and seemed to cool down his entire body. Syaoran didn't have the energy this time to stare angrily at her, he was too tired.

'Come on, we need to get you to eat something,' Sakura ordered, helping him up and leaning him against several pillows. Syaoran realized that he was in a pink room, which could only mean that this was Sakura's room.

Sakura walked off, but once again returned moments later holding a tray of medicine, food and water. First she took the medicine, then attempted to force it down Syaoran's throat. Even though he was tired and wounded, he still wasn't ready to take food and medicine from his enemy.

'Come on, you need to eat this.' Sakura murmured, trying to tip the contents of the bowl into Syaoran's mouth. He opposed, choking on the little liquid that slipped down his throat. But Sakura was persistent. She sat herself on the bed, removed the bowl but scooped some of the medicine in a spoon which she forced Syaoran to drink.

Once again, Syaoran opposed. But Sakura pinched his nose, making him gasp for breath and leaving an opening for her to tip medicine down. Syaoran choked; not only did he swallow medicine involuntarily, but it also tasted terrible and burned his throat.

This persisted for the next hour or so while Sakura tried to feed him and he refused. The end result was that Sakura's bedding was completely covered in food and so on, and so was the floor. But because Syaoran was still rather weak; most of the stuff did go down.

'You should sleep now.' Sakura said softly, pulling off the bedcovers and replacing it with a new one. And because there didn't seem to be anything much else he could do but obey, Syaoran slid down and fell asleep.

--

The next few days went along the same. When Syaoran awoke, he would always be greeted by Sakura, who would feed him medicine and food. By now, Syaoran was growing used to it, and was no longer struggled, and the fact that his strength was returning to him was a good sign. However, he still eyed Sakura suspiciously, and never ever spoke to her.

She was certainly happy to talk to him, even though she was getting no response. Sakura would sit on the bed, talking to Syaoran in lengthy periods. Syaoran would normally be half sleeping, half awake and listening dimly to her talk. Sometimes, if Syaoran was lucky, Sakura would stumble across something he wanted to know about. But Sakura was crafty, and careful in what she said. Never did she talk about anything terribly important, nor any special secrets about the Kinomoto kingdom. Most of the time, Sakura was just talking about how she would like to explore the world and go on an adventure, or how Syaoran must have been a great warrior and that she would like to learn some techniques from him.

'I wonder what it's like to be a warrior that goes on big missions.' Sakura said one day. Syaoran was lying down, but his eyes were wide open, 'ne, Li-san, what's it like to go on missions?'

Syaoran didn't answer, nor made any signs that he was listening. In truth, Syaoran was still dreaming about demons at night, which was why he had so little sleep. And even in broad daylight, he was still thinking about the demons that haunted his dreams, and why it was all happening to him now. It wasn't like he has never been so terribly traumatized before, nor as severely wounded.

'I wonder what it's like to wield a sword.' Sakura went on, ignoring Syaoran's silence, 'I used to secretly practice with a wooden sword when Touya was still around. But Touya isn't around anymore, and father seems to have become even more protective of me. He wouldn't even let me go to the forest without escort, he's scared that I would be kidnapped or killed. I guess that would be his biggest fear.'

Syaoran was listening now. Sakura was starting to slip some of the most intimate secrets of the Kinomoto kingdom, about her family. Syaoran acted on like he was innocent and uncaring, but he was really listening with his ears sharp for anything that might be of any use when he returned to his kingdom.

'I wonder what it felt like,' Sakura's voice was suddenly layered with sadness, 'to lose both your wife and your only son. Imagine if he lost his daughter too, I bet everything that he wouldn't be able to live with himself.'

That was it, Syaoran thought, that was the Kinomoto Empire's greatest weakness, why didn't he see it before. If this Sakura girl was assassinated, then Fujitaka Kinomoto would fall in no time. Better still, if she was kidnapped, then Kinomoto would be at their mercy, and the kingdom would be guaranteed a quick takeover by the Sapphourous kingdom.

But how was Syaoran going to communicate with his kingdom? He couldn't just pull off a stunt like this without warning, especially since kidnapping Sakura was going to attract so much attention. No, he needed to deliver a message so that backup could be arranged and a plan. Syaoran knew that even though he was a one-man army and could take care of whoever came in his way, if he did this right, then a quick stealth attack could be administered on the Medinan Kingdom when it was preoccupied with something else.

'Li-san, have you ever lost family?' Sakura asked suddenly, interrupting Syaoran's thoughts.

Once again, Syaoran did not answer. However, this time Sakura seemed to be waiting for an answer, and was not continuing until Syaoran said something. To hasten the process, she shook Syaoran gently on the shoulders.

'You lost family, didn't you Li-san?' Sakura asked, 'I understand that you're not suppose to tell any secrets, but talking about family is no secret right?'

'It's none of your business.' Syaoran murmured, his voice cracking with anger and irritation. Sakura stopped shaking him immediately, and didn't speak to him again for the rest of the day.

--

When Syaoran awoke on the next day, he was not greeted with Sakura's usual happy face. Instead, he found the medicine and his breakfast sitting in a tray just next to his bed. Pushing himself up with a little difficulty, Syaoran managed to sit upright, and drink all the medicine and eat some of the food by himself. He found that his hands were almost completely back to normal, and so was the rest of him.

'Good.' He murmured, knowing that he would be able to escape very, very soon. After breakfast, Syaoran slid out of bed and found that he could stand easily, and that walking was pretty easy too. His legs still ached dully whenever he took a step, but he could still manage, and his strength was better than anything he's been feeling in the past few days. Walking to the window, he stared serenely outside, seeing a large field of grass and cherry blossom trees everywhere. There was a waterfall not so far away that seemed to glow, but it was surrounded by dense forests.

Closer to the castle, he could see some army men walking around, and also some servants. A few of the solders seemed to be flirting with a few of the female servants, and their companions laughed every time a solder managed to hold one of the female servants' hands. Syaoran was amused, though he didn't show it. It had been years since he was properly amused, but he certainly was now, even though he had seen this many times.

Then Sakura's voice came back to his head. "you lost family, didn't you Li-san." Syaoran sighed dully, his right hand pressed against the glass. It was true, he did lose family. And he didn't just lose that, he lost everything that meant something to him.

Syaoran could still remember everything that happened, everything. Perhaps if things had happened differently, then he wouldn't have become a cold assassin. But they had to die, all of them, even her. Syaoran had pledged since then never to befriend anyone, he was afraid of befriending people. He was afraid of getting hurt.

Nine years, he thought, nine years was enough to change someone completely. If someone else had told him a story like his, then he would not believe them at all. After all, who would have thought that a kind hearted boy who could only be teased but never teasing anybody, never even coming close to hurting anybody. A boy who would put others before him, and only think of ways to help them and never himself, who would have thought that such a boy could become a infamous killer, a dangerous fighter.

Syaoran could still hear his mother's voice, shouting for him to leave. He could still hear his father's voice, telling him to hide. He could still hear his sisters' voices, all urging him to run. And he could still hear her voice, telling him not to get killed, and that she promised she would be alright. Somehow, they were all worried about him and not themselves, even though Syaoran was never the target at all. The target was really her, but why didn't he see it then. Instead, he had had ran, believing in her words. But that was not the case at all, and she never managed to keep her promise.

Syaoran slid to the floor, his hand still pressed against the window for support. He thought he had put all his memories behind him; he knew he did. He would not be able to fight a single battle if he was consciously aware that the person he was against may have a family awaiting him or her. He knew what it felt like to suffer, and he didn't want anyone to suffer like him. But this was impossible, why was he thinking about this now?

'Li-san?' Syaoran turned to see Sakura there, dressed in a long white gown. She looked completely surprised to see Syaoran sitting on the floor, but seemed to be more worried about something else.

'Li-san, what's wrong, what happened?' She asked worriedly, locking the door behind her and racing over to Syaoran. He turned his back on her, and stared instead at the floor.

'Li-san!' She cried loudly, her arms around Syaoran. He shook her off quickly, the last thing he needed now was Sakura hanging all over him. She stared at him sadly, her eyes starting to tear. But Syaoran ignored that, tears didn't work on him.

'Li-san, what's wrong?' Sakura asked anxiously, 'why won't you tell me? Are you afraid that I might use it against you? If I was intending that, then why would I be helping you now? Why would I be hiding you in my room so that no one finds you?'

Syaoran was surprised, he had never known why he was in Sakura's room. He cursed himself, why had he never bothered to think about that question. Surely a princess would not take a deadly killer into her room and nurse him back to health, but then again, why would she do that.

'Why?' Syaoran forced out finally, his voice cold and shrewd.

'Because I didn't want to see you suffer anymore.' Sakura burst out, tears streaming down her face, 'I saw your questioning session the first time it happened, and I was so shocked I couldn't sleep for the next two days. In fact, shock is an understatement. I despise the idea that kingdoms use things like this to force solders into talking, they're human too! I think all humans should be treated the same, even if they are enemies. And the idea that you are living like that, I mean, even death is better! So I came up with a scheme and took Koganei along. He agreed with me, and took me down to the dungeons during night when all the solders were resting. We drugged the solders at the doors with a small bit of starshade and took you out. And I've been keeping you here since.'

'Why would you try to give me a second chance?' Syaoran asked, 'if you knew I was a killer.'

'Killer or not, I didn't think that you deserved to die in a place like that.'

'Aren't you afraid that I'd kill you?' Syaoran asked threateningly, 'I'm healthy again, and strong. I can kill you without anyone noticing, aren't you scared I'll do so?'

Sakura fell silent at this, and she stared at the ground. Syaoran knew that she never even considered it, and wondered bemused who this Koganei was, and how stupid he must be to let Sakura do this. But then again, the name Koganei did sound kind of familiar, especially if the first name was…

'If you are going to kill me, then I deserve it.' Sakura said finally, 'you say that I am stupid, that I was too nice to free you. I thought you may have been more grateful, especially when you were an inch from death. And do you know what? Because of all that harsh environment, and whatever it is that you went through before, now you've got an incurable disease in your heart region that is going to kill you very soon!'

Syaoran stood stunned, and Sakura covered her mouth when she realized what she'd said. Syaoran put his hand to his heart; it felt perfectly normal. Was she tricking him? Maybe everything she had said was just part of an act so that he would trust her, but if so, why this?

'What did you say?' Syaoran managed after a while, his voice deathly cold and sharp.

'I'm a healer, Li-san, I know what's a bad disease, what's a bad bruise, and what's an incurable disease. Well, when I brought you to my room to treat, I saw something unusual about the tissues around your chest. And then I listened to your heartbeat and did a few experiments and…honestly Li-san, even your heartbeat is abnormal. I mean, when I listened to it the first time, it sounded three times the normal heart rate, and when I listened to it a second time, it was barely keeping up with normal heartbeat standards. I'm not joking Li-san, there is something seriously wrong with your heart.'

'So what, die an early death, there is nothing wrong with that.' Syaoran mused, 'It's not like I was planning on living forever.'

'But!' Sakura cried angrily at Syaoran, 'this could get really bad if you don't -'

Sakura was cut short by some knocking on the door. At once, Syaoran fell silent, he knew that Sakura had smuggled him into her room. Sakura too was silent, then:

'Who is it?' Sakura called.

'It's me Sakura.' The voice of Sakura's father, the King answered.

'Oh, hang on a second father.' Sakura said sweetly before turning on Syaoran, 'hide!'

'Where?'

'In my wardrobe here,' Sakura dragged Syaoran to a wardrobe with a large mirror hanging on it. She pushed the contents to one side, which made room for Syaoran. He climbed in quickly while Sakura dashed around the room, collecting trays, medicine containers, bowls, the clothes that Syaoran once wore, and everything else that might give away the fact that Syaoran was once here.

'I'm almost there father.' Sakura called while pulling her bedcovers proper. Syaoran closed the wardrobe, but left a small gap so that he could listen to and see the conversation between Sakura and the king.

Sakura disappeared from his view, and Syaoran heard the sound of a door opening and the footsteps of a second person. Before long, Sakura had come back into view, and so was her father. At once, Syaoran felt a serge of hate, but he contained it along with most of his other emotions; hate would be useful later.

'Sakura,' the king spoke gently, sitting on his daughter's bed, 'you haven't been about often these days.'

'Well, a girl does need some time alone every now and then otou-sama.' Sakura smiled gently, though Syaoran could see the amount of stress lying was giving her.

'I'm not doubting you at all.' Sakura's father said, 'I was just wondering why you didn't run around as much anymore.'

'Oh well, now you know.' Sakura smiled nervously.

'Sakura, you realize that a prisoner escaped.' The king said suddenly while Sakura nodded, 'do you know how?'

'No otou-sama, apparently, no one does.'

'Yes, I had a chat with all the solders and knights and so on, and none of them knew anything about it either. However, the guards down in the forbidden dungeons have told that they were previously drugged by a mild dose of starshade. Still, it makes me wonder, since it is obvious that we have a spy or a traitor in here.'

'Have you progressed at all?' Sakura asked nervously. In the wardrobe, Syaoran could see the sweat on her face.

'We spoke to the cooks, but they saw nothing of it. A few of them said that they saw you and that solder Koganei go in, but that was all.'

'Really?' Sakura was really nervous now and Syaoran knew why, if she had been seen, then her whole scheme could be discovered.

'Nonetheless, we'll find that culprit and the prisoner. The guards around the main walls have not spotted anyone, and they haven't been poisoned either. So I have a very large suspicion that the prisoner is still in here. There has been no casualties reported, so I'm not that worried. Still Sakura, be on guard, this is an elite killer wondering around, and I hate to admit that we may not find him until something desperate happens. And in the even of that, I want you to look after yourself. I have already lost both your mother and your brother, I do not want to lose my only daughter.'

'Hai, otou-sama.' By now, Sakura's voice was trembling, though Syaoran wasn't sure whether it was from fear of her father's words, or fear of Syaoran himself.

'Sakura, your voice is trembling, what's wrong?' The king asked, concerned.

'Me?' Sakura asked, faking a smile, 'oh it's nothing, I'm just a little scared of this…killer.'

'Don't worry Sakura, I won't let him get you.' Her father's voice was hard and strong, though it did nothing to comfort Sakura, in fact, it seemed to have made it worse.

'Yes…otou-sama, I trust you.' Sakura smiled. From his little gap, Syaoran saw Sakura lead her father out the room, heard the door open, then close again. Moments later, his door was opened and Sakura stood there smiling nervously.

'You didn't tell your father,' Syaoran mused, 'what a stupid thing to do.'

'Why, do you wish to be caught that bad?' Sakura asked irritably, 'if you like the dungeons that much, then maybe we should lock you up again.'

'I'd rather rot away in a dungeon then accept help from a Medinan bi-'

'Oh is that how you feel is it?' Sakura shouted angrily, 'I feel sorry for you. I rescue you from that pitiful place, and here you are practically begging for me to throw you back in while your body still craves to recover, and your heart continues to suffer from that disease.'

'Does it look like I care about my life?' Syaoran asked coldly, 'I live to serve. From the very moment I lost…argh, from the day I first took a breath of air till the day I die, I live to kill. I am a killer, that's all I'm good for. Do you think I would be of any use to anyone if I was found? Either way, a Sapphirous solder would kill me in case I give away secrets, and a Medinan solder would kill me because I endanger their empire. Do you know how deadly your position is?'

'Do you have so little value for your life?' Sakura asked angrily, 'don't you have someone you treasure? Someone who's important to you? A home to return to? What about your poor mother and father, what would they think if they -'

'Shut up!' Syaoran shouted, hate flowing through his veins, 'what would you know? You're just another Medinan whore! Another bit of scum on the earth -' a spasm of pain shot across his chest, where his heart was. Syaoran gripped it tightly, but continued '-do you feel so proud for your kingdom when they go around slaughtering people? Would you feel proud again when you leave the warmth of the castle and enter the chill of the outside world? How do you think people are living while you live in the lap of luxury? Do you think -' Syaoran stumbled forwards, his balance starting to deceive him and the same with his vision. He shook his head wildly, continuing to shout at the figure he assumed was Sakura. He couldn't even hear his own words properly, he couldn't see either. All he could feel was a terrible pain at his heart, a pain which threatened to kill him.

Syaoran gasped in pain, and fell to the floor with both arms wrapped tightly around his chest. This was a type of pain he had never experienced, almost as if there was a worm within him, eating away at his heart. He lost perception entirely, and everything swam away as he fell into a dead faint.

To be continued

I hope you enjoyed that chapter. A slight bit of angst, a bit of cussing, but at least Syaoran is free! And we'll learn about Syaoran's past soon, so, till next time! Oh, and if anybody knows how to post things without massacring your grammar, then please tell me! I'm getting just a bit frustrated with all my carefully put punctuation going to cyber hell...(Insert random eye twitching, since I can not use the star sign above the number 8)

Assassin

Please review, as always!