Disclaimer: Nope. I'm never going to own Kenshin, or Kaoru, or Sano, or Yahiko, or Battousai.
Author's Notes: This is a last minute response to Kellen's February Challenge on MT! I'm really making this last minute thing a bad habit. I've got procrastination down to an art. :Sighs: Well, here's my entry for the February challenge. This is my first attempt at humor, if you can even call it humor. XD But, cuteness abounds. Well, at least the kitten's cute….
Kaoru's Kitten
By Pinay Tiger
"No way! You lost the ring?" Sano quirked a well-drawn eyebrow at the redhead out of speculation. Sure, Kenshin was known to be clumsy once in awhile - heck, he could've earned the title as 'Japan's greatest klutz' - but it was even unbelievable for him - an ex-hitokiri - to lose an expensive ring. Why bother going through the hassle of finding something suitable enough to match Kaoru's natural beauty in its stone, to find it missing a few days later? Obviously, it was for the love of her that he went out and bought it. But, losing it wasn't part of the plan….
"Not exactly, Sano. It was quite by accident." Before Sano could throw an accusing finger at the smaller man, Kenshin simply threw his hands up defensively. "It really wasn't my fault at all." And it wasn't. Somewhere along the journey from leaving the dojo to shopping at the market presented a fine curse of bad luck to blanket the gentle rurouni.
"Yeah right," Yahiko interjected as he walked across the dirt road. "You said the same thing when you lost my shinai, when you soiled Kaoru's clean training outfit, and when you were washing Sano's underwear, it was gone the next day."
Kenshin smacked a palm to his forehead, a small 'oro' leaving his lips. "Those times were all accidents, that they were."
"Come to think of it…" Sano shook his head. "That was kinda my last pair too, and I didn't have anything else to wear soon after for quite sometime," the tall man mused aloud, his hand brushing through his hair.
"Gross! I didn't want to hear that, Sano!" Yahiko snapped.
"I don't even understand why you left your stuff there at the dojo," Kenshin sighed, his arms snaking down to sway at either side of his body.
"Because. Why do laundry when I know my best bud can do it for me?" Sano asked with a smile tugging at his lips. "That's how the world works."
"For a bum like you, yes." Yahiko turned to face Kenshin and asked, "But what about the ring?"
"This one doesn't know. I've worked extra in town a bit for it. But I didn't mean to lose it as quickly as I bought it." His shoulders slumped in defeat and he heaved a sigh out of vexation. "What will I do now?" Reason being that the ring was completely out of Kenshin's possession was good enough for Yahiko to interrogate the loss.
"How did you lose it, Kenshin?" Yahiko asked.
"I don't think you want to hear about it," Kenshin announced. "It's rather silly and ridiculous."
"Just spill it already, will ya?" Sano said without pause.
"A cat…" Kenshin trailed off.
"A cat?" both Sano and Yahiko inquired in unison, confusion lacing their question as an undertone.
Sanosuke sidestepped to watch Kenshin's head dip lower shamefully. "What's the worst that coulda happened?"
"A kitten swallowed the ring," he clarified as his crimson locks brushed against his staining cheeks. He couldn't feign a smile to get him out of this situation. No. It would've been too ridiculous and too embarrassing. He had been planning on asking Kaoru's hand in marriage for months now. And what a way to have things start out with the loss of an object that advanced the first step to marriage: the ring!
"How can a cat eat a ring?" Sano thought aloud.
Kenshin lifted his chin and groaned. "I found him in an alley all wet and cold. The poor thing was hungry. And, well…I fed him some spoiled meat that a merchant near the dock was throwing out. The ring slipped from my hand and the kitten swallowed it."
"Kenshin! Cats are filthy animals. How can you even think of feeding a homeless, dirty, disgusting, foul animal?"
"Easy," Yahiko answered. "Kaoru fed and took care of you, so how more difficult could it be for Kenshin?"
"Kid, that's not funny!" Sano growled. He took a fistful of Yahiko's gi, gruffly yanking him up off the ground to meet his level glare of daggers. "Same thing should apply for a small pathetic brat as yourself."
"Ugh, let me go you ugly rooster!" Kenshin frowned at the two.
"Now, now. I hope you discard any feelings of cats being 'filthy animals' and get used to living with one." Sanosuke was considering the many options to exact his revenge on Yahiko for his pubescent verbal assault, unbeknownst to the nearly inaudible tattered repartee spraying from his best friend's mouth. And then - as if by chance - Kenshin's words seeped into Sano and the taller man flicked his brown pools to him. Kenshin looked suspicious and stepped back. He smiled.
"What for?" Sano asked. Now, his tone was mocking, derisiveness threading his words. He eyed Kenshin and stood. "What, are you hiding something?"
"Nonsense, Sano." Kenshin turned on his heel. "I'll be heading back to the dojo, that I will," he practically chirped.
Sano all but gently threw Yahiko's small frame casually overhead and whistled. Just as Kenshin pressed for his first step toward the dojo, Sano jerked a hand to grab at his burnished copper hair. "Hold it. I know you're hiding something."
"You're mistaken, that you are."
"Come on. Did you get the Miss something else to replace the ring? If so, show me. I'll okay it!" the taller man pressed. "Come on."
"There's really nothing special about what I have. In fact, I have nothing at all. So if you would be kind enough to let me go, I'd like to head back to the dojo and prepare Miss Kaoru's bath. She'll get very upset if I didn't have it warmed up and ready for her use, that she will."
"Quit beating around the bush; I know you're hiding something. I'm not that dense. Just give me whatever you have. You can trust me."
"No, no. It's nothing really," he lied. Kenshin couldn't differentiate whether Sano was indeed serious about looking at what he had from within his gi or not. Sure, he lost the ring, he lied about having something else as a replacement, and now, what he in fact had would throw Sano over the edge.
"Meow…" came a muffled cry from Kenshin's clothing.
"What was that?" Yahiko asked from clenched teeth, taking a free hand to knead at the bump forming on his bottom.
"Stomach's growling, that it is!" Kenshin smiled innocently, feigning naivety to the best of his abilities. Ironically, it wasn't helping any. The sound came again, - this time taking on the form of a purr - its ring flooding to Sano's ears.
"You brought that thing with you, didn't ya? You took that cat outta the gutter somewhere from the slumps and dragged it home, huh?" Sano expostulated. "You brought that thing with you just because it ate the ring! And I bet you were going to hold out on us until the Missy approved of it as the dojo pet." He smacked the back of his palm to his head rather haughtily, a sigh escaping his lips in sheer melodramatic proportions.
"I really don't see the harm he'd cause to any of us. He is rather young - a kitten. And I'm sure Miss Kaoru would love something such as himself to keep her company during the-"
"That's what a lover's for, buddy!" the taller man threw at him. "That's what you're for; don't make up all these excuses. Just because nothing's really happening between the two of you doesn't give you the right to lose a wedding ring to a cat. And that definitely doesn't leave room for this kitten to just happily romp into our lives."
"But he's just so cute, that he is." Cheery, giddy banter. "How could you possibly-" he started, reaching into the folds of his fuchsia gi, "-consider such a thing like this to be foul and disgusting, Sano? He's harmless indeed."
Kenshin presented the little ball of fluff to Yahiko and Sano: white tufts of fur stuck out in between his toes on his paws, which had small, delicately round pads at the base of each pink claw. Stroking the dark pads, Kenshin noted the soft and yielding touch of it. A slight upside-down curve was the natural shape of his mouth, as if it were a mask of a perpetual pout. Yawning, and then finally stretching its small body across Kenshin's open palms, the kitten's small, pebble-sized amber eyes scanned its surroundings. It purred.
"Oh, I bet you're tired, that you are!" Kenshin brought the cat to his face and nuzzled it with his nose lovingly. "What to call you?"
Yahiko rose to his feet to gawk at Kenshin skeptically. "Well, this can't be good."
"Pfft. He's a pansy. Look at the way he dresses, for crying out loud! We have the deadliest swordsman in Japan living with us, and we also have this pathetic excuse of a man cuddling some demon fur ball from hell. I'ma have Megumi look at him, he's really starting to scare me some."
The kitten woke. He lifted his head from his paws and looked to the afternoon skies. Above, the sun was bright, warming the lands in its glory, its heat a blanket of life. The daytime had a rhythm of its own - rhythms that resonated within the blood and flesh of all the earth's creatures through the sun. He rose and went to the rite of fur straightening, his silky soft fur milky as the moon at night. Momentarily, he leaped off the porch and ran about in the courtyard.
Kenshin's washing form stiffened. Caught in his own reverie, the redhead stole a glance from the corner of his eye to watch the white ball of fluff bounce around happily. "I see that you're awake," he whispered. "Come."
"Meow." The cat pretty much ran toward Kenshin and leaped into his open arms.
His voice squeaked. "You're such an adorable fella, that you are. I should really think up a cute name to call you."
Just when Kenshin was making funny faces in attempt to make the cat purr, the dojo gates swung open. Kaoru walked in on the bent rurouni unannounced and listened to the faintly unfamiliar high-pitched squeak of his voice. "You're talking funny…"
The redhead abruptly rose to his feet, his hands cupping the cat gingerly to hide it from Kaoru. "You're home early."
"Yeah," she sighed. "I thought the market had some kimonos in red silk. They really had nothing. Guess it just wasn't my day."
"I'm sorry to hear-"
"MEOW!"
Kaoru threw a questioning glance at Kenshin. "What was that?"
"Nothing really…"
"It's a cat? Isn't it?"
The redheaded man bowed his head apologetically for slightly lying. "Yes," he whispered. "It's a kitten."
"A cat!" she chirped. "Better yet: a kitten? Where?" Kenshin raised his hands towards her face and revealed the kitten to her. She was greeted with honeyed eyes and a purring song of joy. "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! Kenshin, that's the most adorable thing I've ever seen!"
Kenshin smiled. "So does that mean this one's not in trouble for bringing a homeless animal home?"
"Why would you be in trouble? I mean look at it. The precious thing's all white. And his eyes. Did you name it anything yet?"
"Unfortunately no. I was thinking up something, however." He watched Kaoru bounce to the porch, sitting herself down, her legs dangling off the edge. "He's a bit energetic and frisky," he announced.
"Oh?" she responded. "He seems harmless." She took a wisp of her raven's-wing colored hair and brushed it playfully at the kitten. The cat batted at her locks of ebony lace, its small body lumbering across the wooden floor. When Kaoru met her gaze with Kenshin to smile at him, the cat clamped his jaws on to her training gi. "Hey!" she snarled, picking the cat up off the floor. "That was my new gi!"
"Meow." His eyes gleamed innocently.
Kaoru sighed. No point in getting in an argument with something that couldn't talk back. Reaching for the fold of her gi, Kaoru slipped out a piece of paper, suddenly crumpling it in the shape of a small ball. Tenderly, she tossed it across the floor and the kitten raced after it. "Great, I have a torn gi now. And I just got this last week," she griped lightly.
A small hacking sound caught the two's attention, their eyes fixated on the kitten. Something was amiss; and the coughing sounds from the cat were really starting to worry them both. "Is there something wrong with him?" Kenshin asked, his brows knotting in confusion. "Sounds like he ate something bad."
"Could be. Megumi told me once how cats spit up things they ingested if their stomachs couldn't take it…" she said, picking up the cat and holding it to her chest. "There, there." She stroked the fine pelt of snow delicately, but the kitten continued wheezing. Her patience grew thin. "Spit it out already!"
And spit it did! The cat let out a humungous wad of wet fur from its mouth, and what made things worse was that it landed on Kaoru's lap. She shrieked.
"Miss Kaoru?"
"T-that thing just threw up on me," she snarled. "First a bite, now there's a stain on my gi! Kenshin, get this thing off!" She threw her head back, practically wailing. But the cat didn't budge. When she turned to face it, a shiny glitter caught her eyes. Embedded in the fur ball was the ring. Kaoru only stared. Her mind ran freely as to why a ring came out from the cat's stomach. "Kenshin?"
He turned away, embarrassed. "Umm, this one can explain, that he can…"
"Is that…that a…?"
"A ring?" he finished for her.
"Yes…"
His cheeks burned and he turned away. He nodded as a reply. "Indeed. This one was trying to find a way to ask your hand in marriage." He was now furiously blushing.
Kaoru flushed. "Of course!" she yipped giddily, rushing to him. "I've been waiting for the time you would ask!" She released Kenshin from her hug and stepped back to fully look him in the eye. "I still have to admit that the cat was just as cute!" she turned on her heel. "I'm off to take a bath!"
Watching her leave, Kenshin sighed. He looked to the kitten. "Kaoru's kitten," he mused. "That's what you are." He scooped it up. "And I guess without you, this one wouldn't be able to ask Miss Kaoru's hand in marriage." He ruffled its fur.