Disclaimer: I don't own anyone, although if I did, I wouldn't be broadcasting it, and I wouldn't be writing this, because I'd have two certain young beautiful men in my bedroom, chained to my bed. Alas, I'm just a struggling student/mother/workaholic who puts in 45 hours a week and still can't make her bills, there's no way I could afford them, or a lawsuit, so don't get any ideas. I'll tell you the same thing I tell my creditors: If you want your money, take a number, I'll get to you when it's your turn.
Authors Notes: Please let me know what you think, it's not the best, but I have tweaked it here and there, trying to get it to sound at least semi-in-character. I live for replies, and since I already have the next chapter written, it wouldn't be a bad idea to bribe me into posting it if you like what you're getting now.
Remorse:
Sara and Catherine sat in silence, Sara's fingers tapping anxiously on the arm rest of the Tahoe. They were on their way to a triple homicide, and the rain was pouring down in sheets on the Tahoe as it's occupants tried to make out the road ahead of them.
"I hate driving in the rain." Catherine muttered, squinting to see the white lines she knew would keep her on the highway, "How is it that the slower I drive, the harder it is to see? We're never going to find our crime scene."
"And by the time we do, the evidence will have washed away." Sara spat out, angry with mother nature for doing this to them. They had already made the majority of the hour long journey when the sky had opened up, letting loose a flood of water over the desert.
Sara let out an involuntary shiver, it had been raining like this the night she had to investigate Eddie's death, the night things started getting very intense between the two female CSI's. Grissom had obviously noticed the growing friction between them, because he had been pairing them up for any case he could since, hoping they could settle their differences.
What was there to settle, really? Sara couldn't help Catherine, she couldn't do what had to be done, and Catherine called her on it. She couldn't blame Catherine for being upset, she wasn't too thrilled about not being able to put someone away for murder herself. And Catherine's cold attitude towards her since was just adding more and more guilt each day.
Sara couldn't imagine losing someone she really loved, and more than that, she couldn't imagine not having someone, something, to be held responsible for that loss. She knew it was eating Catherine alive, she had been much more edgier than usual, and she just wished she could have eased her pain, Lindsey's pain. That was the thing she hated most about her job, the times she couldn't nail the bad guys.
Catherine, too, was thinking about the night Eddie died, pulling Lindsey out of the sinking car, the cold water rushing around her, the fear pounding in her chest as her adrenaline kicked in. She stole a glance at Sara, who had a sad look on her face. She had been really unfair to Sara while she was investigating Eddie's case, she knew that, and she had tried to apologize, but Sara would never let her. Catherine knew that Sara's worst enemy was herself, but after trying to apologize twice, she never made the effort again.
They had gone on with their daily lives, although she had some trouble adjusting, as did her daughter, she thought she was getting close to being normal again. Deep down, she wondered if every thunderstorm would bring back memories, making her heart race again.
"Catherine, slow down." Sara muttered, leaning forward to try and get a better view of the road, "We may need to pull over until this lightens up."
Catherine scowled, "It's not like there's a crime scene waiting for us or anything." She replied dryly, "I'm a grown woman, I've been driving for years."
"The road's curvy." Sara argued, ducking under her shoulder harness and leaning rifling through the glove compartment, "Here we go, three emergency triangles, we can put our emergency blinkers on, mark the Tahoe with these, and wait it out. Otherwise, we'll be processing our own crime scene."
"You're right, we should pull over." Catherine agreed, as the center line of the highway disappeared from her line of vision once again, "I can barely see a thing. But since it was your idea, I'll be more than glad to let you set up the triangles outside in this downpour."
Lighting cracked outside, lighting up the road long enough for both women to see the sharp curve in the road, but not leaving enough reaction time. Moments later, their car was tumbling down the side of a steep embankment, both women's screams filling the air.
Catherine opened her eyes, pain shooting through her arm and her side, vaguely aware of rain pouring into the Tahoe. She winced, inhaling sharply while trying to remember what happened. The rain, the curve, it all came back to her in an instant blur, and she whispered softly, "Sara?"
Sara was still unconscious, and Catherine had no way of telling how long they had been there, it could have been 5 minutes, it could have been 5 hours. "Sara?" She repeated, a little louder, studying her friend closely to make sure she was at least breathing.
Sara's eyes fluttered open, and immediately she let out a gasp of pain, "What...? Oh my God. Catherine? Are you okay?"
"I think my arm's broken, maybe a few ribs." Catherine replied, "What about you?"
Sara tried to move, but she couldn't gather enough energy over her throbbing headache. She shakily brought a hand to her forehead, pulling it back to reveal blood, "I hit my head, probably on the windshield, but I think it's just bumps and bruises. Nothing feels broken."
"We need to get out of here." Catherine said suddenly, as she caught a whiff of gasoline, "Can you get free?"
Sara looked down trying to get her eyes to focus, but only creating a new problem, double vision. Her throbbing head turned into a stabbing pain, and she brought her hand to her head to try and steady herself, feeling as though she was falling, although she knew it wasn't the case. "I'm going to try. Can you?"
Catherine groaned, trying to get her bearings straight, "The car's nosedived into the mud, so if we can get the doors opened, it shouldn't be too hard to get out, as long as it doesn't tilt and put us completely upside down." She tugged on the handle, relieved as a burst of cold air met her, the metal swinging open on it's hinges, "My door opened, can yours?"
Sara's voice was shaking as she fumbled with her door handle, "It opened a little, I think I can squeeze through. You're going to need some help getting out, I'll come around and get you."
"I can get it." Catherine replied, "Just unhook my seatbelt."
Sara groaned, fighting with her own seatbelt, "Catherine, stop arguing with me. You can't unfasten yourself until you're sure the car's going to stay in this position. Let me help you, you don't have to do everything alone."
"Pot. Kettle. Black." Catherine muttered, "Just hurry up, okay? I smell gasoline."
Sara managed to squeeze out of the car, although the metal created a new deep gash on her side as she escaped the twisted pile of metal and landed with a thud in the deep mud. She stumbled over to Catherine's side, surveying the wreckage through the still-heavy rainfall. "Can you swing your legs around?" Sara asked, unfastening Catherine's seatbelt.
Catherine shook her head weakly, her eyelids heavy. She wanted nothing more than to take a long nap at the moment, cold and sore, wanting to escape the reality of their situation. "I think my leg's broken too."
Sara squinted, seeing definite bone breaking through Catherine's pant leg, "I'd say that's a safe assumption. I'm going to pull you out, okay? It's going to hurt, but you can't fight me."
Catherine nodded tiredly, starting to shake, and Sara inwardly let out a string of curse words. Catherine was going into shock, and probably had internal damages. How could this have happened?
"Stay with me, okay?" Sara urged, "I'll get us out of here, then I'll get help. Everything's going to be fine."
Sara's head was spinning, and she was sure that her own eyes mirrored Catherine's woozy ones. She was pretty sure she had a concussion, and the building nausea was only confirming her suspicions. She managed to extract Catherine from the vehicle and support her to a tree a few yards away before scurrying a few feet over and violently emptying her stomach, her insides shaking.
She was going to have to go back into the car and get her kit. She always had spare medical supplies in her kit, as well as a flashlight, and she was sure that her cell phone was still in the center console. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she remembered having a few emergency flares in her trunk. She stumbled back over to Catherine, who was now violently shaking, her arm cradled against her chest, the other one lying underneath to support the injury. She didn't think blankets would really help in the rain, but she made her mind up to get some anyway.
She was halfway to the Tahoe when it burst into flames, the small explosion sending Sara flying back a few feet, landing on the ground with a thud as her head began to ache even more terribly. Behind her, Catherine weakly called out, "Sara?"
Sara woozily crawled over to where her colleague was seated, and sat closely to her, knowing body heat was better than none, and wanting to inspect her colleague's injuries more closely. "This is bad, Cath."
"Oh Sara." Catherine replied with a choked sob, "If something happens, if I...well, if anything happens...tell Lindsey I love her. Tell her I'm so sorry."
Sara shook her head violently, "I won't have to, you'll tell her yourself. Nothing's going to happen to you, okay? I may have let Lindsey down where Eddie was concerned, but I won't let her down with you. No matter what, you're going to go home to her, even if I have to carry you across the desert on my back."
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