None of the Characters of Diagnosis Murder belong to me I just like to borrow them and have fun with them sometimes. Enjoy.
A/N: I have to say thanks to this remarkable woman who beta's my stories. She corrects my work with humor and wit, teaching and encouraging as I go. I have come to love her and that infamous red pen. I hope I never stop learning from her. Thank you my friend.
See what happens when you go to the bank and your elders are holding it up.
Chapter One
Steve knew if he timed everything just right he could get to the bank, deposit his check and still get to the hospital and have lunch with his Dad.
As he walked into the building he was surprised that there were only a few people inside tending to their own banking business. This was fortunate as it would mean that he could get out of there even faster since he would not have to wait so long to get to a teller.
Things were going along smoothly and quickly when just as he got to the window, the words that no one wants to hear while depositing their hard earned money rang out loud and clear.
"All right everybody. I want you all to raise them hands up over yer' heads and keep 'em there." This came from a small woman holding one of the biggest shotguns Steve had ever seen. It looked bigger than she did since the lady barely stood over five feet tall. Her dress was long and faded with an old stained up apron over the front of it. Out from under her skirt peeked a pair of brown work lace up boots. A small black plastic mask covered the lady's face but it left her hair plainly in view and Steve noticed it was gray and pulled up into a bun just like his grandmother used to wear.
Suddenly out of nowhere a second voice boomed out. "You folks heared her now, hold them hands up high. You all do as you are told and nobody is gonna get hurt. We ain't amin' to take nothin' that don't already belong to us. So don't nobody get stupid and try to be some kind of hero."
Steve could tell that the person under the other lone ranger mask must be about the same age as the little lady with the large gun. He stood tall and broad shouldered. He too waved a shotgun in the air that was every bit as big but didn't quite seem so out of character since he had much larger hands.
'Dammit this can not be happening. Not today. They're having meatloaf at the hospital cafeteria. Well that does it. I'm definitely going to start using direct deposit.' Steve was fuming over the turn of events. Why couldn't they have done this earlier when he was out doing a neighborhood check on the Manning case that he and his partner Cheryl had just picked up yesterday? Come to think of it, that didn't pan out any better since most of the neighbors were older adults and either they didn't have their glasses on or didn't have their hearing aides turned up. In other words no one saw or heard anything. Steve suddenly felt that the world was being taken over by the nursing home generation.
He watched closely as the woman walked up to the first teller and told her she wanted to see the 'low down pole cat that was in charge of taking away people's homes for no good reason'.
Steve held his breath hoping that everyone would just stand still and not do anything that would cause 'Ma Barker' over there to let loose with that scatter gun she was toting. He didn't know if she was a good shot or not but he also knew that if she aimed it in your direction you would more than likely find a hail of lead coming your way.
The teller quickly picked up the phone and asked for someone from loans to get their tail down to the lobby quickly because two very hostile people were wanting to see them really bad. Afraid to say anymore the teller quickly deposited the phone back on the cradle and once again raised her hands level with her head.
It took a good five minutes before a very huffy, very short, and very bald man with large glasses walked quickly into the tense situation demanding to know what was so important that he had to leave his lunch. He pulled up quickly when he saw the big gun and the little old lady who was aiming it in his direction.
"It's you. You scummy varmint. You come out to our place and put up a sign telling me and Isaiah over there that we got to pay up some kind of taxes on our property and that we got to git out if we don't come up with the money by next week. Well we been thinkin' on it and we decided that we been payin' on this land long enough. You go and get them papers ready sayin' we been paid up and sign 'em. And if we see you or any of your people out at our place again we are a gonna fill your backsides full of lead. Now git." The little old lady waved her gun in his face for emphasis.
The little round man who wore and ID badge that said Mr. D. L. Tuttle, ran quickly to his desk and rifled through a pile of papers on the top. He seemed to know just what he was looking for and quickly pulled out the papers signing them and then running quickly back to the old lady shoving them into her outstretched hand.
"Emma, you look at them real good and make sure he signed them in the right place. Make sure that they is the right papers too. I don't want there to be no mistakes." Isaiah then turned to Mr. Tuttle. "We paid our taxes every year. We kept the place up and we paid it off with time to spare. We been livin' there for over forty years. Now all of sudden you come up there and tell me and Emma that we have to pay more taxes. Well that ain't right and you ain't getting' away with it."
Steve kept watching the two older people and praying that they would just leave now that they had what they wanted and not hurt anyone. If they did he could call it in and maybe no one would have to get hurt, especially the old couple.
For some reason after listening to them Steve could not help but have some sympathy for what they were going through. He knew that so often outlandish taxes and greedy bankers victimized the elderly finding them to be easy prey. Apparently these two were not eager to be among those swindled. All the senior couple had to do was just leave now and he could take care of the rest with out any problems complicating things. It all seemed to be going like Steve wanted, but unfortunately Mr. Tuttle seemed to have a mouth that didn't seem to match his small body.
"The police are on the way right now and you'll be lucky to get halfway down the road before they catch up. So just put down those guns and give yourself up to this nice police officer here."
At that point he turned to Steve. Shock registered all over the Lieutenant's face. He hadn't realized that the loan officer even knew he was a cop. He looked down and sure enough, because his hands were raised up as high as Emma had insisted, his badge was showing. Steve was not very happy at the way things seemed to be turning out. This was information that he would like to have kept to himself. It is always better if a perpetrator was unaware of your association with the LAPD. Too late now though. Emma and Isaiah both swung their guns at him and stared holes right through him. All Steve could do was just smile at them and give a slight shrug his shoulders.
"Well, I reckon, son, you are just gonna' have to come with us." The old man reached inside of Steve's jacket and searched until he found his gun, snatching it and placing it in one of the pockets of his overalls.
"Now get goin' and don't you try nothin'. Emma here has been holdin' that gun a long time and she might accidentally shoot you if you was to spook her." Steve hesitated for a second to long and Isaiah came around and gave him a little shove with the barrel of his gun. "I said move it, boy. Now!"
Everyone in the bank stood and watched as the old couple ushered the young man out the door. No one moved as they seemed to be in shock at just having been held up. Minutes passed while they waited for the bandits to speed away, afraid they would return.
Steve moved for the front of the door with his hands still raised by his head. The last thing he wanted was to have one of those shotguns go off in his direction. At this range one blast could leave a hole in him that a truck could drive through.
Once outside he stopped and waited for the old couple to give him further instructions. A faded blue station wagon was parked out front with the back window missing. The old man moved around Steve and opened up the back door motioning for him to get in. Isaiah then climbed in next to him and Emma settled herself into the front seat behind the wheel and started the engine. They were soon heading down the street and out towards the eastern part of LA.
Once they had been driving for about two minutes Isaiah produced a piece of rope and quickly tied the younger man's hands together making sure that he was secured. He then tied his bound wrists to the armrest of the door. Steve knew that if he tried to jump from the car that he would be drug along, so he settled in, knowing he had no choice but to go for a ride with the feisty couple.
"You're just making this worse by kidnapping me and taking me as a hostage. Now the best thing for you two is to give up and turn yourself over to me and I'll see if I can help you work this out." Steve decided to try and reason with the old people.
"We ain't kidnapping you, boy. We just want to make sure that you don't go and mess things up for us. Now sit back and quit fussin'." Emma spoke to him looking at him through the rear view mirror.
"You don't understand. You forced me into the car with a loaded shotgun. That's kidnapping in my book." Steve was starting to get a little agitated at the older couple by this point.
"Look, son. We never forced you into the car with loaded guns. See ain't either one of 'em got any shells in 'em." Isaiah popped open both guns to show Steve the empty barrels.
"Are you crazy? You could have gotten yourselves killed. What were you thinking going in there with empty shotguns?" Steve was all but shouting by this time.
"I was thinking that I didn't want to hurt no one. We was just wantin' to get their attention. I think we managed that just fine. And no one got hurt. Now will you sit back an quit your fussin'? I swear I never heared anyone go on so!"
Steve sat back fuming. He couldn't believe he had allowed himself to be kidnapped by a pair of grandparents with guns that weren't even loaded! If the guy's back at the station found out about this he knew he would be tortured with their jokes for the rest of his life. Man this just kept getting better all the time!
Emma and Isaiah seemed to be having a serious discussion on how to get him to the house without him seeing the way. Steve pretty much ignored the two as they argued over the best solution to the problem. He watched out the window trying to get a fix on where they might be heading. Suddenly he heard Emma say "I hate to do it to him Papa but I don't know what else we can do. A dose of Laudanum ain't goin' to hurt him none. It's just goin' to make him sleepy is all. Now get it and give him a good dose. He's a big boy so you better give him a whole tablespoon."
At this point, Steve was all ears. Emma mentioned Laudanum. What was Laudanum? No matter what it was he wasn't going to open his mouth for it. Steve hated medicine, and he especially hated the kind he didn't know anything about.
"Open up there, son." Isaiah was coming at Steve with a large spoon of brown liquid that smelled like strong cheap booze. He clamped his mouth shut and shook his head no. The whole time he never took his eyes off the spoon that was coming at him.
"Boy, don't give me a hard time about this. It ain't going to hurt ya'. Just make you take a little nap is all. Son, if you don't open up that mouth of yours I'm goin' to wallop you good." Isaiah once again came at Steve with the foul smelling liquid.
Steve continued to keep his mouth clamped shut and turned his face toward the window. The next thing he knew Isaiah had grabbed his hair and jerked his head back. The sudden assault took him by surprise and he involuntarily opened his mouth expressing his pain from the attack. The large spoon was shoved into his gapping mouth forcing him to either swallow or choke on the disgusting tasting liquid. He swallowed hard unable to spit it out.
"Now that wasn't so bad was it? All that fuss over a little dab of medicine. You just relax and soon you'll be sleeping like a baby."
Steve gasped as he tried to get his breath. He started to cough causing Isaiah to pound him on the back. After he sputtered for a few minutes he was able to gain some control again.
By this time Steve was so angry he informed 'Bonnie and Clyde' that if it was the last thing he ever did he would see to it that they wound up in jail for kidnapping and assaulting a police officer.
"Son, if you don't lay back here and relax, I'm going to assault your backside. Now I have heard all the fussin' I aim to out of you. We ain't hurt you and we ain't gonna hurt you. Now it sounds to me that you need to take a nap with all that frettin' you're a doin'. So just shut up and go to sleep." With that Isaiah pushed Steve back against the seat and dared him with a look to even open his mouth.
It didn't take long before Steve could feel the affects of the Laudanum taking a hold over him. He began to feel light headed and his eyes seemed to be heavy. He tried to fight it with all of his might but soon his eyes shut and he was oblivious of anything that was around him.
"I didn't think he was ever gonna go to sleep. I ain't never heard no one complain so much either. While he's a stayin' with us he needs to learn who the boss is. I don't plan on having some city kid mouthin' off at me all day." Isaiah was thoroughly displeased with the young detective who was now snoring quietly next to him in the back seat of the old station wagon.
"Calm down, Papa. You don't expect him to be all eager to come along peacefully now. After all we didn't exactly ask him if he wanted to come. Besides I'm sure he was just tryin' to do his job. He'll understand once he finds out the whole story." Emma continued to drive down the road. She once again stole a glance at the young man who reminded her so much of Robbie. Oh, how she missed her Robbie.
The old car sped on down the road putting more miles between Steve, his family, and his home. The Lieutenant was headed for an experience that would change his life forever. Little did he know as he lay sleeping that this old couple would have such an impact on him.