Remus sobbed for a few moments and Johnny left him alone. "And….What id I do to deserve this!" Remus yelled suddenly.

Johnny finally sighed and whirled around to face Remus. He snatched the absinth away from Remus and glowered at the smaller boy. "Remus, you deserve everything Sirius said to you, and that punch! Alright, so neither of you acted like saints, but that's no reason to get hysterical! Do you remember when I told you I fell for a harpy?"

"Yeah."

"Well she was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen…" Johnny sighed wistfully. "With eyes like stars and hair like silk under the moon….I was going to marry her. We were so affectionate, always holding hands and touching…She was so….perfect, I couldn't imagine anything was wrong."

"What happened?" Remus asked, leaning foreword.

"She left me….I found her sitting at a table with some guy, laughing and giggling like she did with me, I couldn't believe it, and when I asked what the fuck was going on? She just kept laughing, she told me it had gotten to serious to fast…She wasn't ready to think of marriage." Johnny sighed. "I always thought she saved that laugh just for me…that she would only laugh like that around me. But then I saw, she was just an act, even if her mother died, she'd still just laugh…"

Remus shifted uncomfortably. "Johnny that's really terrible, but how does that relate to my current problem?"

"A week later the guy beat her up and tossed her in an alley like trash. She came to me and begged for me to let her come back, and I said no…I wouldn't let her come back, I wouldn't live with a shell."

"So Sirius is going to reject me and regret it the rest of his life?" Remus sighed. "So helpful."

"…Yeah I guess that wasn't the best story…"

"I don't even think I like girls…"

Johnny sighed. "Okay….Well…Allow me to continue then….A couple days later, I was still sore about losing her, after all I thought she was the love of my life…I wondered in here, and then…I saw a guy…He was dancing with everyone, right in the center, the life of the of the party…It wasn't till later I realized he was a…a…"

"He was a harpy." Remus finished.

"Yeah, the biggest harpies of them all, I thought he would be different from the girls…I always think that the one I fall for is actually different…" Johnny laughed harshly. "But I loved him anyway, I ran into his arms and never wanted to leave."

"Who was he?"

"Dorian Gray." Johnny sighed. Remus' eyes went as wide as watermelons. "We both knew, eventually, that we were made for each other…we were so fucking in love."

"It doesn't seem like you are anymore." The werewolf growled.

"He was always a whore, I didn't mind…for a while. But soon I just couldn't deal with him sleeping with other people so I snapped. I wrecked his apartment, and when he came back we fought like we'd never fought before, we threw thing, he hit me, I hit him back, I think we broke a window…But after he left…I tried to kill myself. He found me bleeding to death on the kitchen floor and took me to the hospital."

Remus winced. "How could you still love him after all that?"

"Because," Johnny said with a wistful smile, "Dorian was only made to love one person, and sadly that was me. He didn't love any of his one night stands, only but me, and I could never stop loving him…"

"Then why don't you get back together?"

"…What would I say? What would we do…He feel's to guilty to come up to me…and…so we started to hate each other…while loving each other… were never friends. I guess that sort of added to the whole weirdness of it….We loved each other, but we weren't friends."

"What if Sirius and I end up like that?" Remus asked, burying his face in his hands. "I don't want to risk what we have now….But I love him…"

"Do you want to spend the rest of your life thinking about him? Missing him? Needing him?" Johnny asked. He shot a glare towards the back rooms where Dorian was. "It's really not as romantic as it sounds…."

"I guess I need to apologize?"

"…Well it's a good place to start…maybe…"

It was dark out when Remus left the Moulin Rouge. The amber eyed boy looked around for a minute. Sirius? Where the fuck are you…He wondered around Paris, praying he'd find a certain dark haired boy.

Hours later, disillusioned and lonely Remus walked back to the hotel and into the golden lobby. He sighed, and suddenly a figure caught his eye. Flaming red hair flashed into Remus' vision. It was all he needed to storm over to the figure.

Dorian had the nerve to show up, after all he'd done. As Remus stalked over to him, he realized something. Dorian was slumped in his chair, head bowed, hair obscuring is face. "You have the never to come back here?" Remus snarled. "You manipulative bastard."

Dorian tossed something at Remus' feet, it hit the floor with a clatter. The werewolf looked down and saw a gun, lying on the marble tiled floor. Remus bent down and gently picked up the object up, careful not to press any triggers.

"Just do it." Dorian whispered, in a torn voice.

"I….I know about you and Johnny…"

"All of fucking Paris knows!" Dorian shouted suddenly. "I fucking screwed him over again, that's all I'm good for right? Fucking up people's lives…he was going to go to collage you know, before he met me. And then he dropped out, just to live with me. He was just a kid…Now he's a bartender…"

Remus felt his anger at Dorian wash away and be replaced with pity. I won't let us end up like this…Remus decided. "Then talk to him…I don't know what to say. You're an ass, and you didn't care enough about what you had. Sorry isn't enough, you ruin someone's life and sorry doesn't mean shit…" Remus suddenly realized he was less talking to Dorian and more to himself. "I have something to do now…"

He walked quickly away from Dorian towards the elevator, head buzzing with ideas. The only image in his mind was Sirius. He pressed the up button, and waited as the elevator came down from the sixth floor. There was a small beep and Remus was ready to race into the elevator when he came face to face with Sirius Black.

Remus' eyes never left Sirius' for that one second. First those azure orbs flashed with joy, longing, happiness, then rage, sorrow, and finally the eyes settled on a cold clear gaze. Sirius' eyes looked a tornado inside a glass box, a whirlwind of emotions threatening to shatter the cool exterior at any moment.

"Remus."

"I'm a stupid bastard…" Remus said, his eyes downcast. "I was an idiot, I acted like an animal and I deserve everything you're about to say."

"Move, Remus." Sirius said coolly, the glass coating on his eyes was still in tact.

"I destroyed you, I killed whatever love you felt for me, and I'm so fucking sorry! But I know now…I guess….I guess sorry doesn't mean anything does it…"

"No, it doesn't, it means nothing, especially coming from you. Now move."

"I was stupid, and scared. I'm still scared Sirius! I just cared about me, I led you on and I fucking killed everything."

"Move Remus." Sirius said again, his composure was shattering.

"And at Notre Dame, I was scared! You didn't do anything wrong! If I wasn't such a coward I wouldn't have said those things…"

"Move Remus!" Sirius snarled, there was a desperate look in his eyes. The glass was shattering, the tornado was resurging.

"But in the past few hours I've felt worse then I ever have in my life, I feel like I'm missing a part of me! Sirius I love you! I need you, I can't live without you! And I'm not fucking exaggerating or being melodramatic, I need you, and without you I'm going to wither."

"WELL WHY DIDN'T YOU THINK OF THAT SOONER!" Sirius exploded. "I CAN'T DO THIS! YOU CAN'T DO THIS! What were you thinking! What are you thinking? I want to care, I really do Remus. But I can't deal with that again!"

Remus amber eyes were shimmering with tears. "I want to be with you, and I know you want to be with me! I don't want to be scared anymore, I don't want you to hurt anymore…I know I was wrong, and I've been wrong this entire trip! But now I'm not…This is what I want."

Sirius pushed Remus back against the wall and pinned him there. "So, you want this? I'm fucking crazy Remus! I from a family of dark wizards, I'm a freak. I want things to Remus, it's not just about what you fucking need! I don't care about what you think or what you want."

"I care about what you want."

"THEN WHY DID YOU SAY I THOUGHT YOU WERE JUST A GOOD FUCK!" Sirius screamed. "I LOVED YOU! I still fucking love you, and I won't let you do that to me again. I won't let you near me again, got that!" He backed away from Remus.

"...Sirius please don't say that…You're important to me…you're everything you m…I mean we can still be friends?"

"You're pathetic! What do you think!" Sirius sneered. "Screw me over like that and then ask can we be friends? NO! We can't fucking be friends, in fact I never want to see you again. You fucking bastard! Even after what you said at Notre Dame I was ready to try again, Remus. But what do you do? You go fuck Dorian!"

"I JUST WANTED YOU!" Remus screamed back. "Why didn't you come after me! Why didn't you stop me!"

"Because, if you want to play the martyr I'll let you. You killed me, you fucking killed me! I don't want to even touch you! I don't want to remind myself that I love you!" Sirius hissed.

Remus looked away, crying a little. "Don't say that…I'm not a disease…If you run away I'll follow you. You love me, you can't escape that. Now you're playing the martyr."

"Remus…Yeah I love you, listen to me, and listen to me clearly." Sirius took a step closer to Remus and pressed his lips against Remus' ear. "You can walk away right now Remus, if you want to save whatever friendship we have left. I won't stop you and we'll forget this ever happened. I can't be hurt like that again, okay?"

"What's my other option?" Remus asked softly.

"I'm not giving you one." Sirius snarled.

Remus suddenly looked up at Sirius and met his stormy blue eyes head on. Remus nuzzled closer to Sirius and twined his arms around Sirius' neck. "Well I'm not walking away. Fuck friendship. I love you, you are my mate…I can't escape that, and I'll always be here with you. I was inhuman, I was cold, and I was a monster. And I'm not asking you to forgive me for that. You can forgive me whenever the fuck you want, or never it doesn't matter. As long as you'll let me be with you forever, as a lover, a friend, a slave…a fucking pet! Just let me be there."

Sirius' arms stayed rooted to his sides, not wrapping around Remus, there was not movement in Sirius' body save for his breathing. Remus' heart plummeted. He cried softly now. Remus loosened his arms from Sirius' neck.

"Please?"

"It's all just words." Sirius said softly. "And I can't base my life on half assed declarations of love."

"Fuck you, then." Remus said coolly. "I LOVE YOU! And I was a fucking dumb ass to ever try and deny it." He shouted hotly. "And I want you to be with me, fucking now and forever."

"And are you scared of losing me again?" Sirius asked quietly.

"Hell yes!" Remus yelled. He hugged Sirius' neck tighter and rested his head on Sirius' slumped shoulder, standing on his tip toes and shut his eyes. "You can shoot me with silver bullets, hand me over to death eaters, make me Dumbledore's sex slave for Christ's sake, but just don't leave me.."

They stood there for a moment. "You can still walk away." Sirius reminded Remus.

Remus looked back up at Sirius' face. "I can always just walk away, and fuck you Sirius Black, I never will." He pressed his chin against Sirius' shoulder again and waited.

Arms curled tentatively around the small of his back and Remus started to cry harder. "If you ever do, I'll kill you." Sirius said with a hint of amusement in his voice. Remus laughed and cried at the same time.

"I love you…" Remus finally sniffled.

"I've been waiting for you to say that." Sirius laughed softly.

The End

A/N: Well this is the end people! There's going to be an epilogue and maybe even a sequel…not sure what it'll be about, but I might do one. Well I just want to say thank you soooo much to all of my reviewers, and to the people who read this and didn't review. Thank you all for you're support, this story wouldn't have been finished without you guys!