The Story of a Man and His Eye Chapter 6: Omake x5, a x/1999 fanfic

Title: The Story of a Man and His Eye: OMAKEx5
Author: Elf Asato
Written: 10/16/05 - 1/4/05
Summary: The final installment! Fuuma wakes up to a horrifying discovery.
Disclaimer: Not mine whatsoever.
Notes: Two days shy of ten months. That's how long I've been writing A Man and His Eye, which, by my standards, is relatively short. I mean, I finished it, after all, haha! Anyway, I'd like to totally thank everyone who's stuck through from the beginning, hopped on board during the middle, or just now discovered this little fic. Your support and enjoyment really means a lot to me, especially since this has been one of my favorite stories to write so far. Thanks again, and may Fubaru, eyes cream, and The Story of a Man and His Eye live long and prosper!

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Omakex5
By Elf Asato
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Omake!x5

Fuuma woke up that morning to something absolutely horrifying, even by his standards. In the corner of the Sakurazuka bedroom Subaru sat with his knees drawn in, fingering the ghost condom Seishirou had left behind the night before.

No, that wasn't what was so horrifying.

In Subaru Fuuma saw something that made him want to scream aloud, made his stomach want to flip and his throat close up entirely. He felt the beginnings of panic in his own depths. "Subaru," he whispered delicately, and Subaru's eyes met his in muted acknowledgement.

It was his eyes. There was something in Subaru's eyes that incited this horrible feeling.

He was...

...sober.

"Well shit," Fuuma murmured, his idealistic hopes of ever getting laid completely shot, and got up to make breakfast.

Subaru didn't really care where Fuuma went, because really, it was better that he didn't see him, and instead concentrated on the condom before him: the only thing besides the eye that Seishirou had left. It was one of his few remaining ties to the mysteriously elegant and frustrating assassin he once knew...though every time he recalled in a hazy distortion the events that led up to his acquiring the condom (it was one of his last memories before finally passing out), a fire burned in his cheeks.

Yes, it was definitely better if he not see Fuuma, because contrary to what the 'Kamui' might have thought, he did remember most of what happened during his extended chemical vacation. So in his corner he stayed, trying to decide whether his life was more full of angst or woe and contemplating the differences between the two.

Meanwhile, as Fuuma prepared some sort of breakfast-related concoction, he heard someone knock at the door. He went a few seconds before answering because he figured Subaru would get it, but then he eventually answered it because he remembered it was, well, Subaru.

"My how you've grown, Subaru!"

"Uhhhh," Fuuma managed as a small yet loud old man stood before him.

"I don't know what your grandmother was worried for now, you look just fine! Now come on, give your great-uncle Toshiro a hug and invite me in," great-uncle Toshiro said as he extended his arms.

Fuuma had no interest in hugging a strange, old man.

"I'm not Subaru..."

"Of course you are, Subaru!" Toshiro said and hugged Fuuma.

No, great-uncle Toshiro, he really wasn't...

"Okay," Fuuma murmured because it was way to early to be dealing with such things, and he briefly invited the old man in, afterwards going to see a certain onmyouji about a certain family member.

Subaru was giving the ghost condom, which he supposed represented the depths of his own anguished soul, a thorough examination when the last person he ever wanted to see walked into the room and picked him right up, carrying him off to the living room. Of course, Subaru protested, "Fuuma. What the hell are you--"

"Your blood, your problem," Fuuma answered as he unceremoniously dumped Subaru right in front of the friendly old man and left to eat his breakfast-related concoction.

"Hokuto!" dear, dear great-uncle Toshiro exclaimed as he roughly hugged a terrified and re-traumatized Subaru. "My you look like a man these days. Are you a lesbian?"

Rather than calmly ask his great-uncle what in the hell he was doing there at the Sakurazuka residence, Subaru let a strangled outburst, "Hokuto's been dead for years! I'm Subaru!"

Great-uncle Toshiro only let out a hearty laugh, and Subaru looked as if he'd make great-uncle Toshiro into his first kill as Sakurazukamori. "Of course, of course, I'm just joshing you, Subaru! Say, who was that strapping young lad who let me in earlier? Was he that man your grandmother told us all about, your Romeo of sorts - oh, what was his name, Seiichiro?"

After the "Romeo" portion, Subaru had loudly emitted some kind of unearthly and mortified sound, followed by a frustrated "Seishirou! His name was Seishirou! Seishirou!" Considering all he had been through, Subaru felt that he really didn't need or deserve this.

"Good god, boy, what's the matter with you? Oh here, I know what will make you laugh," great-uncle Toshiro said as he reached his hand out to Subaru's face, "Got your nose!"

With the aid of ice cream, Fuuma and great-uncle Toshiro were able to revive Subaru within minutes.

"Why don't you fix us all something to eat, Subaru," Fuuma quietly suggested once Subaru was conscious, "while I entertain your relative, er, not near you? Would that be good?" He tugged at the onmyouji's slender wrist rather insistently yet tenderly.

Slightly dazed, Subaru took Fuuma's Get-Out-of-Jail-Free card and nodded, making an almost zig-zag line to the kitchen as he left Fuuma alone in the living area with great-uncle Toshiro.

Cue awkward and strained small talk on the couch.

After a few uncomfortable moments, there was a harsh knock at the door, and Fuuma jumped to answer it. He was puzzled as he opened the door, however, and considered the physical sight of a small and ancient woman before him, wondering what the Tree was doing there in that form.

The old and weathered woman toddled past Fuuma and past great-uncle Toshiro on the couch until she stood in the entranceway to the kitchen. Subaru seemed briefly startled by her presence and even more so when she let out a booming, almost supernatural, "FOOD."

Overhearing, Fuuma snickered in a nervous, morbid, and knowing way, and Subaru dropped a spatula in surprise. Great-uncle Toshiro, however, saw a Golden Opportunity and went in for the kill.

"My dear, I haven't had the pleasure of introducing myself," Toshiro approached the ancient and rather stump-like woman with a gentlemanly bow. "My name is Sumeragi Toshiro, and your lovely name would be...?"

"FOOD," the Tree repreated.

"Are you hungry, darling? In that case, why don't we leave these boys alone and go out to eat?" great-uncle Toshiro charmed as he gently took the woman's arm, leading her to the door. "I know a nice, cozy little place that makes a wicked soul brulee!"

"I don't like soul brulee. Can we eat bloodcakes?"

"Of course, dear, anything you desire," great-uncle Toshiro promised, and the aging couple were gone through the door.

Shocked, Subaru took a few seconds to ask as he came out to where Fuuma sat, "Who was that?"

Fuuma lounged on the couch and smirked, "The Tree. As in, the Tree."

Subaru paled as he leaned against the couch and Fuuma's shoulder for support. "M-my great-uncle Toshiro just charmed and went off with the Tree?"

"It would appear so," Fuuma smirked, clearly enjoying the contact between them.

"And I'm all out of morphine?" Subaru asked, hoping that it wasn't so and that Fuuma would tell him it was all a grand lie.

Fuuma did no such thing. "Since this morning."

"...Damn."

Subaru remembered his new Tree-feeding duties in addition to his old clan ones and set out to work after a hard battle with morphine withdrawal symptoms, Fuuma attended to his job of being the enigmatic dark Kamui who generally made life miserable for the Seals and sadly never had another opportunity to sleep with Subaru though mightily he tried, great-uncle Toshiro continued to see the Tree and torture Subaru with ill-timed "got your nose!" tricks, Seishirou joined Hokuto in teasing Subaru mercilessly from the afterlife, the Tree lived a long life munching on bloodcakes and the occasional soul brulee, morphine never saw Subaru again though the onmyouji tried his hardest to see to their reunion, CLAMP resolved things with Asuka and finally released the end of the series, and they all lived happily ever after...except the eyeless orphans; they were sad (and blind).

End (No, Really, The End)