AHH. I AM COMPLETELY SPAZZOID. THE FINALE. THE LAST CHAPTER.
I really hope I wrote it well, that is, the fluffy parts. It felt like this thing poured out of me I wrote it so fast…E! Hope you like!
To my reviewers…
thequietgenius: Hehe, everybody does love chaos, don't they? And I will leave you to ponder the Wilhelm thing, yes?
Angstling: It's all good. Glad to have you back. Hehe, I hope chaos makes it up for you in this chapter, eh? And Wilhelm, bit of a soft spot for me too.
KOS-MOS rox: Thanks! Enjoy the finale!
YuhiruK.A.A.K.J.: ATA doesn't have a whole lotta love for c/KM either. Neh. SCHOOL IS EVIL! I want pocky too…
The Flamer: Okay, look. First of, if you dislike my story so much, then why do you keep reading it? Secondly, what don't you like about it? If you're just saying it to be mean, that's one thing, but if you seriously don't like it, give me a specific reason! Lastly, telling me a chapter sucks is not good motivation for an update!
Goggle: Conclusion is here! Happy belated birthday!
Aubuyn: Hehe. Glad you liked the Virgil part. I think this chapter will cheer you up!
To all: My reviewer system has been on the fritz lately, so I apologize if I didn't get a review you sent. Hopefully it's fixed!
AHH!
The stars were mocking me.
Their bright, twinkling winking lights shown through majestically through the glass hull of the park. The sheer brilliance made my eyes hurt, even though I knew they were so far away. They were laughing at me in their high place in the heavens, saying "Look at that poor, pitiful fool down there…"
You are a fool.
What kind of confused person am I? Who goes off to risk life and limb to save someone, not only whom they hated with a fierce passion, but who was also their biggest love rival? Even when I knew she would be brought back eventually, I still went.
I am such a fool.
And what did it get me? Nothing. I vanished from his sight the moment she walked through that threshold. I became a nobody again. He became out of my reach again.
In a way, he was like the stars.
So far away…
I'm not sure how long I sat there, on that bench, in the exact same spot where this all started. I called him "Friend," he called me "Comrade." It felt like it happened so long ago, but it didn't.
The park technically was supposed to be closed, so there wasn't anyone there but me. There was a glitch in the temperature controls that made the whole area bitter cold. But I didn't mind. The cold helped clear my head.
I squished myself in a ball on the bench, hugging my knees to my chest. I closed my eyes and listened to the sounds of silence echoing in my ears. The white environmental bugs hovered around my head, undisturbed by the cold as well. One landed on my knee, but I was too lazy to swat it away.
Maybe if I stay this way long enough, I'll disappear. I wouldn't mind disappearing right now. It would save me a lot of trouble, I think. I could wander about the ships freely, without having to deal with anyone. I don't think they would miss me anyway…
"I'd be sad if you disappeared."
My heart leapt, but I still didn't move. I knew it was chaos. Who else would it be? Never mind the fact that he could tell what I was thinking…or that I didn't hear him approaching…or that I didn't hear the doors open…
"You went away. I was worried I wasn't going to be able to find you. Why did you leave?"
I snorted. "I thought you wanted some "alone time" with KOS-MOS."
I heard him sight behind me. "It's not like that…"
He gave a little chuckle, "Besides, about five minutes after you left Shion came onto the bridge and…well, let's just say there was a bit of a commotion. After that I came looking for you."
"I'm so glad you noticed."
He walked around the bench so he was standing in front of me.
"You're angry with me. I can tell. That's okay, I deserve it."
"Yes, you do." I hated myself for saying that.
"I'm very sorry Canaan. You must have worked hard to bring her back, and I didn't even acknowledge it."
He leaned his head a little closer. "Will you be able to forgive me?"
I averted my eyes from his. "Maybe…"
He grinned. "Good!" he said, and that made it final.
He stood back up and stretched his arms over his head. He let out a yawn and said, "Wow it's been a long day…"
"You're telling me."
"Heh, I guess yours was much more eventful than mine. How in the world did you get KOS-MOS back anyway?"
"It wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be…"
I gave him a detailed summary of my "rescue mission." I did leave out the part about Wilhelm having a DME addict running around in his office, and how I attempted to blackmail him for it, and how Wilhelm figured out I was in love with chaos, and how I knew his real name was Yeshua, and…
Well, I guess I left a lot out. I more or less just told him I went there and made a deal with Wilhelm. I didn't get much more specific than that.
"I see…" he said when I was finished.
"So, as you can tell, I wouldn't mind just being alone right now. You understand."
"Of course," he said. Was it my imagination or did he sound sad?
"Can you…just answer one more question for me?"
"Go ahead."
"Why?"
"Hnn?"
"Why did you go after KOS-MOS? There has to be a reason, isn't there?"
This rather caught me off guard. I struggled to make up some excuse, but then I fond I had none.
"I…just felt like it."
"You felt like it? You're a terrible liar Canaan. Now why did you go?"
I fidgeted uncomfortably. "Well…you see…you were…umm…"
"What about me?"
"You were just so upset, I mean, really upset. I didn't like to see you that way. So I…"
"Wait, are you saying you went after her because I was sad? You did it for me You went there because of me?"
"Yeah, basically."
I expected him to be grateful. But then I noticed his face had darkened considerably.
"That was really stupid of you Canaan."
I faltered. "Excuse me?"
"It was stupid! I can't believe you did that! Wilhelm…he could have killed you! Or worse!"
"Well what did you expect me to do! Sit around and watch you sulk away into oblivion? Just because you were afraid of him doesn't mean I was!"
"He's dangerous!"
"He's just a little psycho! And I came back in one piece, didn't I!"
We were in an all out shouting contest now.
"You still could have been hurt!"
"It was a risk I was willing to take!"
"I would have gotten over it eventually you know!"
"I didn't want to wait around for eventually!"
"I'm not worth it to risk your life!"
"Or course you are! I LOVE YOU!"
I gasped and clamped my hand over my mouth as if I had said something horrible. I half-expected him to knock me out right then and there, but he didn't. The shouting had stopped though.
I said it. I can't believe I finally said it. After all that…I finally said it. What am I going to do now?
I was too terrified to say anything or look up at his face. He didn't say much either. I sat there covering up my head with my hands, he stood there looking down at me.
Finally, chaos shifted his feet and leaned closer to me.
"Canaan…?" He asked quietly.
I tried to reply but all that came out was a small squeak.
"Are you okay…?"
I didn't look up.
He let out a soft sight. "Come here…" he said.
He took away my hands from my face and replaced them with his own. His thumb gently brushed away the bit of moisture that was threatening to fall out of my eye. He wasn't wearing his gloves; his hands were so warm…
"Don't be sad…" he soothed.
All the while I sat there utterly motionless.
He leaned in closer until our noses were practically touching. I could feel his breath on my lips.
"Say it again…" he finally whispered.
"Say…what again?" I asked, puzzled.
"Say…that you love me again, please…"
I felt my face grow hot. "I…I love you chaos," I said again.
He beamed down at me. He was gorgeous.
"You're so cute when you blush…" he said.
Miffed that he was teasing me at such a serious moment, I opened my mouth to protest…
And then he kissed me.
…Mmmpht?
chaos is kissing me? chaos is kissing me! Ahh ahh, what am I suppose to do! My lips are frozen, my eyes won't shut, my hands are dead! How dare he do this when I'm not prepared! What should I DO!
…oh gods this feels amazing…
I felt a little…strange, at first. I had no idea what a kiss would actually feel like. But I quickly decided I liked it. A lot.
chaos' lips were so soft…and so warm, I never imagined they would feel this good. His mouth moved over mine slowly, sensuously, and when he pressed in closer I thought I was going to melt.
His hands moved away from my face so he could wrap his arms around my head. He ran his tongue along my lower lip, asking permission to enter. I more than readily complied.
It was an indescribable feeling. He moved his lips and tongue over mine in perfect synchronicity, exploring me, slowly driving me insane. I was beginning to see spots. I couldn't help but wonder…where did he learn how to do this?
The awkwardness in me finally vanished. I quickly wrapped my arms around him and pulled him even closer, which earned me a little gasp. I did my best to copy his movements, praying to whatever deity out there that I was doing it right. I must have though; his body shuddered under my touch.
I'm not quite sure…how long we kissed, but I would have been happy to stay like that for an eternity. We finally broke apart, but our hands still clung to each other. His chest was heaving, his cheeks were flushed, and his lips were puffy. He looked a little dizzy as well, but then again, so was I.
He collapsed against my left shoulder and curled the rest of him into my lap. He planted a little kiss below my ear, just above my green tattoo marking. His breathe was still coming rapidly, and his tiny frame trembled against mine. Or maybe that was me who was shaking.
I rubbed my hands around on his back, through his hair, anything to get him calm again. Both of us were completely exhausted, but it was our very first kiss. And I wouldn't trade the feeling for anything else in the world.
"I love you…" I heard him say, and for the first time I was able to smile. A real smile.
I was finally complete.
"chaos?"
"Yes?"
"Um, I'm just curious, but when did you, you know, realize it?"
"Realize what?"
"That…you had feelings for me."
He grinned. "Just now."
"Just now?"
"Yep."
"Just like that?"
"Just like that. If you loved me enough to go and save KOS-MOS from the most powerful man in the quadrant just to see me smile again, then yes, I loved you for that."
"You didn't just say it because I did, did you?"
"Of course not."
"Okay. Good."
"What about you? Something tells me you've been contemplating this for a very long time."
"Yeah, well, do you remember that night a week or so ago when we all went out to dinner at that restaurant?"
"Yeah."
"That night I realized the funny feeling I'd been having all day was love. I seriously thought I was going to have a heart attack."
"Hehe, I'm surprised you didn't try to glomp me in my sleep."
"I thought about it."
"I know you did. Fiddling with my hair when you thought I wouldn't find out…"
"Eh? You knew? You weren't asleep? Why didn't you do anything?"
He snuggled a little closer. "I kinda liked it. Besides, I would have given you a heart attack if I leapt up all of sudden and trashed you for messing with my hair."
We both laughed.
"You know…" I began, "You do realize that not too long ago we were practically ready to knock each other's head's off."
"True. Amazing how things like that can change so quickly. But I like this much better…"
I just grinned.
"But…you know," he said, "you've done so much for me…I don't know how I'm ever going to repay you."
"You don't have to. Just you existing makes me happy."
"Really? That's so sweet…"
He wiggled around and pulled himself away so he could look at my face. "Canaan? I hate to say this, but I have to go back to work now."
"Now?" I whined, "But…"
"I know I know, but I need to. It's my job. I'll meet you back in the room tonight, okay?"
"…okay. I'll be waiting."
He gave me a parting peck on the lips and carefully wobbled to his feet. He had to lean on the back of the bench for support, (we had been sitting for quite some time) then briskly walked to the door.
I remembered there was still something I needed to tell him. "Hey, hold on a second!" I called.
He spun around. "Yes?"
"You see, Wilhelm…told me some things about you...um, disturbing things. I'm not sure if they're true, but, I just wanted to tell you…that it doesn't matter to me, what happened in the past. None of it does. I'll still care about you no matter what."
A serene look of peace settled on his features, and I knew my statement meant the world to him. He quietly turned around and walked away.
The starlight reflected on his back and shimmered off him perfectly. It bounced around all over, like it was so dazzled it didn't know where to go.
It gave you the feeling he had wings.
I didn't know up from down as I floated down the hallway. The only thing apparent to me was that I was in a very hazy daze, and many people were giving me strange looks as I went down the Durandal corridor. I had already bumped into three people without giving them an apology, because, I hadn't realized I'd done it. I was beyond ecstatic, I was beyond bliss, the person I loved just kissed me.
Reality came back, however, when I noticed an extremely short redhead leaning against the wall near my room.
Jr. didn't look very happy either.
"Hello…Canaan," he said with no small amount of spite.
"Err, hi Jr. What are you doing here?"
"Oh, you know, just lounging about…"
I shrugged and moved to pass him but he just shoved me back.
"What was that for?"
"You owe me an explanation!"
"For what?"
"For what? For what? KOS-MOS comes back telling everyone you came and saved her, Shion's freaking out with happiness, the whole ship is in an upheaval because now they think Wilhelm's going to come after us, Allen goes off to look for you and then he comes back in a fuss saying that he's "lost a kissing bet," and when I asked him what he meant…"
Jr. looked like he was going to explode. "He told me you were kissing my best friend!"
Note to self. Kill Allen the next time I see him.
"So yeah! I think you owe me some kind of explanation! Why the hell were you kissing chaos!"
I blinked. "Is there something wrong with that?"
"Wrong? You're both, both of you are-"
"Jr, if the next words that come out of your mouth are "because you are both guys" then I will seriously have to strangle you."
He huffed in annoyance. "Ugh, will you at least tell me one thing? Did you kiss him or did he kiss you?"
"He kissed me."
He rubbed his eyes. "Figures. I should have seen this coming a mile away…"
He put his hands on his hips. "Is it a mutual love relationship?"
"Huh?"
"You love him, he loves you, that kinda thing."
"Yeah."
"Are you positive?"
"Most definitely."
"It's not just a fling?"
"No, it's not."
His eyes narrowed. "You two aren't going to get that weird lisp thing or start going around in girl clothes, are you?"
"No."
"Well," he said smartly, "Then I guess I don't have a problem with it."
"What are you, his father? chaos can take care of himself."
"Yeah, but he's also very easy to worry about, you know? I just want to make sure he's happy."
"Don't worry, I'll keep him happy…and very, very safe."
"Good!"
Jr. marched by me in the other direction. I just rolled my eyes.
"Oh, and Canaan…"
"Hm?"
He turned around again to face me. "If you hurt him, I'll kill you."
I gulped. I knew he was serious.
I hurried into our room before Jr. decided to give me another interrogation. I kicked off my clothes and flung myself into bed, eager for rest.
But then I instantly missed him. The room seemed so cold and unfriendly without him there, my chaos. Wouldn't it be lovely to have a warm body to hold while you slept? That's what I wanted…
I fell asleep and hoped for dreams.
I remember him stumbling in at about one o'clock in the morning, confetti and streamers all messed up in his hair. A "KOS-MOS returns" celebration no less. Whether it was work, the party, or a combination of the two, it kept him away longer than I would have liked. But I shouldn't be jealous, I had nothing to worry about now. He slowly crept into the other room and I heard the water running. I fell asleep again after that.
My "nap" didn't last long though, I think. What seemed like two seconds later I felt someone shaking me awake.
"Nnnn?" I grumbled half asleep.
"Move," he said.
I vaguely remember scooting over to make room for him. I do remember something soft and delightfully warm curling up next to me, nestling on my shoulder…
When I awoke he was still there, sleeping. He clung to me firmly and his silver hair was all tangled with mine. I remember starring at his face for the longest time, hours even, just starring. I couldn't help it. Such a beautiful face…and all mine…
Rest love. There is still so much more to do.
End
YAAAAAAAY!
WHAAAAAAA!
…I don't know whether to be happy or sad. But WHOOT! My first multi chapter story is finished! I want to thank everyone for giving me your steadfast commentary and support! I really couldn't have done it without you!
Geeze, I sound like Miss America or something. Anyway…
Sequel? Probably. But not for a while, sorry! I need to re-edit this sucker first, don't know how long that's going to take. And I really really want to start an FMA story, I've been dying to do one! Wanna live up to the rest of my name, you know? Heh. But be forewarned, it will probably be an Ed/Al centered fic. If that's not your cup of tea, it's cool. You don't have to read it!
I had a blast writing this story! Canaan and chaos forever!
Ahh, farethewell friends, until we meet again!
-ATA