It was amazing how time slowed to a crawl when life happened too fast. There they all stood, stock-still in Lex's expansive living room; the sound of the gunshot still ringing in their ears. Lex was the first to move. He slipped the gun into his pocket, and lightly pushed past Clark and bent down to feel for his father's pulse—there wasn't one. Clark noticed the hitch in Lex's movements before he stood again that one else would have noticed. Lex turned to face him, looking directly into his eyes, but his words were directed at his parents.

"Take the car, and get Clark out of here now. His clothes are in the back bedroom. Move as quickly as possible."

Clark hadn't seen his mother enter the room, but he knew the expression on her face—he didn't need to turn around.

"Lex…what about.."

Lex placed a hand firmly on Clark's shoulder to silence him, and he said quietly.

"You go with your parents..I'll take care of everything here. I'll see you in a few days."

Clark glanced down at Lionel Luthor's fallen body. This man had brought about so much pain and suffering and altered their lives forever, he felt it should have taken a whole artillery to kill him, not just a single bullet shattering his skull—it shouldn't have been so easy. Clark felt two strong hands on his shoulders, pulling him away from the scene. His father spoke to him gently, like he did when he'd have nightmares as a child.

"Clark...Get dressed quickly and meet us back out here, ok?"

He nodded, not able to tear his eyes away from Lionel.

"Clark…"

He jerked his body away, and supersped into the other room, afraid he'd be unable to accomplish the task otherwise.

Jonathan walked over to where Lex stood, and cautiously touched his shoulder.

"Lex…you've done so much for Clark, for us..you don't have to do this alone."

"Its better I take care of this on my own, I'd rather no one know you and your family were involved." He looked up at the concerned blue eyes. "Thanks Mr. Kent."

"There aren't enough words to thank you for what you've done Lex."

He gave Lex's shoulder a firm squeeze and went to his wife's side.

It felt odd to be back in his old clothes again. He kept fingering the soft flannel absently, rubbing it lightly against his skin. His father glanced over at him with a slightly sympathetic frown, and Clark immediately felt silly, placing his hands firmly in his lap. The three-hour car ride never felt so long. Clark resumed his position in the farthest corner of the front seat, with his head pressed up against the window, watching the dark Kansas fields whip by. No one spoke, but he welcomed the silence. Just a few hours ago he'd been resigned to his own death, and now he was safely in a car with his parents on his way back to Smallville, to the bed in that small yellow house he longed for every night since he arrived in Metropolis. Except, he didn't feel safe. He glanced down at his trembling hands and took a deep breath, clasping them together and tried his best to simple let fatigue take over for the rest of the ride. He soon slipped into a deep dreamless sleep, and only his father was awake to hear his Mother's quiet sobs coming from the back seat.

Lex sat for a long time just staring at his father's lifeless body. He didn't bother to close his eyes, or clean up the blood or bone fragments—he wanted to experience the sheer brutality of what he had done. The cleaners would be arriving soon, and this would be the last time he'd ever see his father's flesh. He bent down, kissed his father's cheek, and whispered, "It had to be me Dad."

Clark rolled over in his bed for the tenth time in the last five minutes. He glanced at the clock by his bed. It was almost 6am, and for the last six hours he tried without success to fall asleep. He'd spent more than an hour just walking around his room, touching and smelling everything, not knowing whether to scream with joy or sob. He'd nearly given up hope he'd ever be standing there again, and had played the scenario in his mind over and over. But somehow in his lucid dreams, the nightmares always ended, and he felt safe, like nothing could ever harm him again. The reality was quite different. Almost worse than living in constant terror was being safe and terrified it would all be taken away again, this time knowing full well what that meant.

He heard his mother downstairs in the kitchen, starting breakfast. The delicious smells wafted through the house; and the warm sense of familiarity gave him the strength to leave his bed and face the day.

His mother's uneasy smile greeted him when he entered the kitchen. The strain of the last couple of months was etched in her face, and he immediately felt a pang of guilt. He swallowed hard and tried to return her smile as he made his way over to her side. She pulled him into a tight embrace, and let her head rest on his chest—he knew she was listening to the reassuring rhythm of his heart. He smiled and gently extracted himself from her arms.

"Its smells wonderful Mom."

She beamed at him "Well we definitely have to get some weight back on you.."

Clark looked away uneasily, and Martha immediately regretted what she said.

She looked at him with full concern. "How are you feeling Clark?"

"I'm ok…just a little sore still…um..whats for breakfast?"

"A little bit of everything..do want omelets?"

Clark nodded, leaning against the island. His mother smiled brightly and pulled out some beautiful plump tomatoes, and started slicing them with a paring knife. Clark's eyes went wide as he stared at the knife. Everything closed in suddenly and he stumbled backwards knocking over a chair. His father, just coming in from the fields, quickly grabbed him, but Clark jerked away, startled, and stepped away from both of them. His parents moved to help him, but he put his arms out to stop them, in between gasps he muttered "I'm fine..I just..I'll be ok"

His father ignored his warning and moved towards him, "You are not fine Clark! Let me help you!"

Clark backed against the wall, face flushed—it was the fear in his eyes that stopped his father.

"Its ok son..I'm sorry, but I really think we should..eventually talk about what happened."

Clark looked back at him defiantly, fear quickly turning to anger. "I'm never talking about it Dad…I just need time..I'll be fine."

"Clark.."

"No!"

His mother cautiously approached him, and he didn't move away. "Look, its ok…just eat some breakfast, and we'll worry about it later." She looked pointedly at Jonathan for reassurance—he nodded.

He shook his head, more out of frustration, and the realization that it wasn't ok, and it would be a very long time before it was Ok. He slid past them and headed for the door.

"I'm sorry..I can't eat right now."

Martha looked at her husband. "Jonathan, we have to do something."

"What do you suggest we do? I think he should talk about it, but we can't make him."

"Maybe he should talk to someone..professional."

"And tell him what? That he was abducted and experimented on because someone found out he's an alien? You know we can't do that."

"What was the point of rescuing Clark, if we fail him now? There has to be something we can do."

Jonathan looked exasperated. They knew Clark wanted to spare them the pain of what happened to him, but he knew all of Clark's reasons for not talking were not completely selfless. He pulled Martha to him, quietly letting her know he was giving in.

"Ok..we'll think of something. For now, we'll let him be on his own. I imagine he's more confused than anything. I think he just needs some peace and to know he's safe right now."

Clark hadn't intended to go to his loft. It'd be weeks since he felt the sun on his face, and he stood in the fields, face towards the sky for several minutes, before finally turning and heading towards the barn. It'd always been the place he retreated to when the world became too much—he need to know if it could offer him any comfort now.

He sat down on the old lumpy sofa, and looked around. All of his things were still there, exactly as he'd left them. A history book was open on his desk, a long with a notebook. His laptop still sat open beside it. He rubbed his eyes absently. He was exhausted and wanted so much to just sleep, but every time he closed his eyes, he saw Lionel's face—crushed and thick with blood, or simply grinning smugly at him with cold eyes. He laid down on the sofa, looking up at the rafters. Life would have to resume somehow soon. He'd have to go to school and see his friends, and act like he was any other normal teenager who's biggest problem was getting into the right school and finding a date for the prom. He didn't even know who that person was anymore. He lost him the minute that knife sliced into his flesh. He shut his eyes tightly again against the memory, but never opened them. He drifted off to sleep.

He jumped suddenly as loud screams tore him out of his sleep. Someone was grabbing him, shaking him and he turned sharply to get away. His face collided with the wood floor and he looked up dazed and shaking. A very concerned Lex loomed over him.
"Clark…"

He blinked at Lex, trying to shake the nightmare.

"Clark..its ok..you were dreaming."

The room around him came into focus, and his face burned with the realization the screams he heard must have been his own. He pulled himself up, politely shrugging off Lex's help, and sat down. "What happened?"

Lex sat beside him. "I'm not sure. Your parents told me you might be out here. I heard you shouting when I was coming up the steps."

"I'm sorry…"

"Its ok..you were obviously having a nightmare. I imagine you couldn't sleep last night."

Clark shook his head. "I'm afraid to..its always nightmares..has been for weeks. But I don't want to talk about that…what happened..I mean what about your Father?"

Lex stood up and walked towards the open window. " Its taken care of."

"How..?"

"As far as anyone knows, my father died in Metropolis General, after he collapsed in his office. The cause of death will be a degenerate liver disease."

Clark stared at him in disbelief. "How is that even possible?"

Lex turned at looked at him, Clark saw the bitterness in the set of his jaw.

"It was extremely expensive, but worth every penny. I've ensured there's no way the truth will ever come out. And one good thing is, my father really did have a liver disease. It probably played a large part in why he abducted you in the first place."

"He wanted me to save him."

"Something like that."

The were silent for a few minutes, with Lex looking out into their fields and Clark trying to find the words to say what he needed to.

"Lex..I just want you to know I'm sorry I didn't tell you the truth about myself."

"Its ok Clark, I think after everything that's happened, I understand you wanting to keep it a secret."

"I know..I just wanted you to know it isn't because I didn't trust you. I think I was scared it would change everything, and scared it would put you in danger. As it is..you murdered someone for me…"

Lex looked him in the eyes. "He didn't deserve to live after what he did."

"He was your father Lex."

Lex didn't answer him. "Well, I have a lot to take care of still, but I wanted you to know that everything you need to worry about is taken care of, and you're safe."

He walked over to Clark's desk, and picked up his pen, scribbling something in his notebook. "That's the name of a doctor in Metropolis. He understands the delicate nature of the situation, and I really think he can help you. I trust the commute won't be a problem for you?" Lex smiled a little.

Clark couldn't help but return it. "No, it won't…Thanks Lex."

He nodded. "So you're fast, strong, your skin can break knives. What else can you do?"

For the first time, Clark didn't hesitate. "I can see through things and shoot fire from my eyes. But I've gained a new power every year since puberty so far…so we'll see."

"I always knew you were extraordinary Clark."

"I'd give everyone of my powers away if I could take back what happened to me..to both of us."

Lex looked at Clark, seeing that the naïve, optimistic boy he'd found so charming was gone.

"I'd better go. Make sure you call that doctor."

"Lex..I hate to ask about this…but your father..he had a lot of files and that footage from the mansion…"

"Everything was destroyed Clark, I saw to it personally."

Clark nodded, and asked what had been plaguing his mind since he heard the shot ringing in his ears.

"Lex?..If you could change anything that happened..do it over again…would you still shoot your father?"

Clark wasn't sure why he asked that, but he felt like Lex did it impulsively, to protect him.

Lex stopped on the stairs, and turned to look at him. "We don't get second chances Clark."

He descended the stairs, without glancing back.

Clark stayed in the loft the most of the day. He didn't dare fall asleep again, but he spent most of his time, sitting in the window, trying not to think of anything at all, just enjoying the sun and the familiar smells of the farm. Chloe stopped by to see him. He thought he wasn't ready for any visitors, but when he saw her big smile and eyes bright with tears; he hugged her tightly, and let her stay for awhile. She caught him up on everything happening in the small town. They didn't mention why they hadn't seen each other in nearly three months, except once when she gave him arm an affectionate squeeze and asked if it had been bad. He kept his head down and nodded, he could feel the anxiety creeping up his neck. She lightly kissed his cheek.

"I'm sorry Clark..we'll find a way to make it better, I promise."

He did smile weakly at her then, but she understood it was time for her to go.

The sun was starting to disappear into the fields. He looked out the window towards the yellow house. He knew his mother was inside somewhere preparing dinner, and his father would just be coming in from the fields. What his ordeal had done to them was mapped across their faces, and he found that hard to face, but he had to go inside sometime. He decided to take a walk out to the fence first. The gentle Kansas spring air was warm, and a cool breeze blew his dark curls off his face as he walked across the fields.

He noticed a long figure in the distance, standing across the road. He kept walking, though every nerve in his body told him to turn around. He kept his eyes deliberately on the figure as he approached, almost willing the person to turn away and keep walking. But she didn't and soon they faced each other across the fence.

Clark gripped the fence tightly as everything he'd held back for the last 36 hours came rushing at him. Charlotte watched as the wood splintered beneath his grasp.

"Clark..I..I kept checking everyday to see if you made it back safely.."

She watched his jaw clinch, and his face flush with anger, anxiety, she didn't know.
He kept his eyes on the ground beneath him, so she continued.

"Lex wouldn't see me, or take my calls…I gave him all the information I knew, so he could find you.."

Clark looked up at her, his eyes were glazed and tinged with pain. He swallowed hard, forcing himself to relax.

"What do you want Charlotte?"

"I just wanted to see if you were ok."

Clark carefully let go of the fence he'd have to repair later.

"Well..I have to go." He turned to leave

"Clark, do you really think Lionel Luthor left me with any choices!"

He stopped and looked at her.

"I didn't know what they wanted with you Clark. I did something really stupid that landed me in this situation, and Lionel didn't give me any other option. I just didn't want to go to jail…now I would gladly have traded my freedom for yours."

"Why now?"

"Because..I've never met anyone who made me feel so safe and gave me so much hope before…it was just too late, and I was scared. I didn't know what to do. I thought maybe there was something about you that was bad, that I couldn't see. I know the truth now…and I'm sorry. I don't know why I need you to forgive me, but I do."

Clark leaned across the fence; she was standing in front of him now. He looked at the slight girl in front of him and knew she was no match for Lionel Luthor—he hadn't been either. He couldn't place all his anger and pain on her shoulders. They were all victims of a man he hoped was laying six feet deep in the earth. But seeing her reminded him too harshly of things he intended to forget. He remembered their last night together, and how silly it seemed now for him to be so scared and hurt that night, when he was still safe in a warm bed. He could feel his wall beginning to crumble, he fought to find his voice; it came out in almost a whisper.

"I do forgive you…I never blamed you, not really..but I can't see you Charlotte…its too painful…so please, don't come back here."

She nodded slowly, and placed her hand on his, she could feel him trembling beneath her. "I'm glad you survived Clark." She let go and started walking away.

Clark sank down to the grass, not having the strength to hold back any longer. He'd give himself this one moment of despair, before he put it all behind him. His sobs shook his entire body, and he wrapped his arms around himself, letting all the pain pour out. He felt another's arms wrap around him, and soft hair touch his cheek. He turned and buried his head in her shoulder, as Charlotte gently stroked his hair. They stayed like that for a long time, before she finally let him go; walking away in silence.

Things were eerily quiet in the mansion when Lex returned. The arrangements for his father's funeral had been made and a press release announcing the untimely demise of Metropolis's most prominent citizens had been sent out. His lawyers were drawing up the appropriate papers to transfer Luthorcorp over to him. He could still hear the blast of the gun, echoing in his head, and he reached for the scotch sitting next to him on the table. He hadn't thought twice about what he did; he thought of only two things, Clark's freedom and his own. His freedom had been worth the price…but Clark's…he picked up the folder containing every bit of information his father had gathered on Clark, and the video surveillance tape played on a monitor in the background. But like he told Clark..there were no second chances.

When Clark finally walked through the door, his mother didn't hesitate and immediately went to him, hugging him close. She saw the faded tear tracks on his face and wiped at them with her hand.

"You really should eat something Clark."

"I know..but I'm just so tired..I think I want to try and go to sleep..I promise to eat tomorrow."

She just nodded, keeping an arm around his waist. His father walked over to him, and brushed his bangs off his forehead.

"Do you think you'll be able to sleep son?"

He nodded. "I think I can…if you guys will sit with me for awhile."

The followed Clark up to his room, and let him get into bed. His mother sat by his side, holding his hand while he drifted off to sleep, feeling for the first time in a long time, that he was home, and he was safe.

The End