Author Note: Well one night when I was mindlessly staring at the ceiling and it accrued to me that every one talks about talks about people loving each other forever. But when they say this they're only writing about when their young, or nearing thirty. So I said to myself "it's about time we have some old people action going on." So I really do hope you all enjoy this!

Warning: This next chapter you are about to read was written by a depraved crazed twisted sick lunatic, if you in ANY WAY find to old men "together" being wrong, This might not be the story for you.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter etc etc, though if any one would like to get me a nice birthday present…. Oh and nor do I own 'Depends' the adult diaper.

The Senile Adventures of Sirius and Remus

Two elderly men sat on the porch of a small house in an unusual village named Hogsmeade. One man sat on an old wicker rocking chair. He had a full head of deep grey hair, and was a rather slim man. He wore shabby robes and was hardly ever seen with out his usual glass of tea in hand.

The man to his left had thin silvery white hair. Unable to stand the fact that he was balding, he bravely wore a not so great comb over. He sat on an old cushioned lawn chair and carried an old knobby stick which he frequently swung in people's faces when they bothered him.

"Remus…REMUS!" shouted the old balding man.

Remus took a long sip of his tea and hummed to himself. Finally having heard the other man yelling in his ear he turned to respond.

"Mmmmmm…Oh, yes Sirius? The 'Depends' are under the bathroom counter. How many times do I have to tell you that?"

Sirius glared at him, either that or he was squinting as to be able to see him. "No, that is not it. I was just wondering if you wanted to come inside to change?"

"Hm say what now? Why would I need to change? Are we going some where? Have you finally decided to take me dancing?" Remus said with aged sarcasm.

"No! You know what I'm talking about… change ! I must have lost track of the lunar calendar…"

"No no no Sirius, it's not that time of the month yet!" He sighed.

"Yes it is, I can see the hair sprouting out of your ears already," Sirius shuck his head and added woefully, "All full of hair, tsk tsk tsk."

"Padfoot I don't have to change, look it's not even a full moon tonight," Remus raised his hand and pointed to the sky. "AND Severus hasn't stopped by with any wolfsbane!"

"You know I can't see that far, and I wouldn't put it past Snivellus to try and kill me by leaving me alone with a full fledged Werewolf! I'm ganna conjure up some silver, I think not having your potion is making you irrational." Then with a flick of his withering wrinkly wrist a silver cross appeared. "Now I don't want to have to use this, ya hear?"

"Why don't you conjure up a calendar while you're at it." Remus muttered darkly to himself.

"See you're so violent." The balding man got up to go inside. "If it'll make you any happier I'll go get the lunar chart for you." Sirius got up clutching to his knobby stick for support in his attempt to walk inside the little house.

The other man groaned. He rested his head on his fist and sighed, "When you're young, falling in love with a convicted crazed murder sounds so appealing but when your ninety it just sounds like stupidity."

Just then the elderly, yet sexy in that weird 'wow-your-great-grandpa-is-a-totally-looker' kind of way, Sirius Black hobbled back outside. "Okay, your right it's not a full moon." He grunted.

"I told you so, ya old bat."

"Shut up."

"Aww don't feel bad, we all become a little senile in our old age."

Sirius jumped from his cushioned lawn chair and said, "I am not old nor am I senile! I'm as sane as I was when I was 19."

"Which -remember dear- wasn't that sane."

Choosing to ignore this he attempted to move around and flex his muscles but he soon sat back down rubbing his back. Remus looked at him with concern.

"You really shouldn't be doing that. Madame Pomfrey isn't around any more to fix your broken bones...well more like your broken hip bone that is." He warned.

"That's it. I'm leaving. I can't stand this anymore! After 79 years, I've had enough!"

Remus laughed despite Sirius's threats. "And were do you think you are going to go? Assuming of course that you and your bad back can make it to the street to hail the Night Bus."

He scooted his feet making it half way across the porch "I'll go to Harry's and then we shall embark on a grand adventure!" Sirius raised his arms in the air, shaking his fist.

Remus rolled his eyes and got up after him. "Come here you big OLD puppy dog ((A/N I have no clue what made me think Remus would say that...I just thought it was cute…))." He put his hands on Sirius's shoulders and spun him around. "Your stuck with me till our dieing day."

"I wish I were dead."

"Of course you do, now lets go inside and I'll make us some tea."

The two went inside to do what only ninety year old men know how to do.

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Author Notes: Did you guys like it? Think it was weird? Want to know what drugs I'm on? TELL ME! Trust me I want to know! Should love be talked about even when we're old and sagging in our naughty places? Should I keep this a one shot and burn any copies, or make it into a cute little series? TELL ME your thoughts!