This was written for an LJ icon ficlet challenge for Tazo. I cannot compare to his humor, but this is a small nod to him.
The secretary looked shockingly like Angelina Jolie. It did not escape either waiting man that she was dressed exactly like Lara Croft, either. They watched her watching them until her phone rang and she nodded pointlessly at the voice from the receiver.
Both men rose when she said, "Mr. Hirano will see you now." She pressed a button at her desk and a set of ornate double doors manifested out of the peculiarly textured wall. One might wonder whose idea it had been to decorate in pink and gray.
The office was…well, it could be generously described as peculiar. The walls were covered in televisions, pornographic drawings, Nazi memorabilia and pages torn from gun aficionado magazines. The chair behind the huge, and equally cluttered desk swiveled around, revealing a short, round, bespectacled and beaming man.
He steepled his fingers and said, "Good evening, gentlemen, thank you for answering my casting call." He shoved aside a pile of DVDs and hentai and picked up a pair of file folders. "Let's see. Ah yes, you two are auditioning for the part of the primary antagonist."
He kicked his feet up onto the desk and read, "Hmm…Hans Günsche. Old nemesis. Good, good. Strong and silent type. Nice, that's less dialogue to worry about. Tall. Good. We can't have our bad guy staring up at Alucard.
He rubbed his chin and read on. "Oh I do like this. Old ties with a secret Nazi magi-military organization. Oh, very nice."
He twirled a finger at the unspeaking man. "Turn around. How hard would you be to draw? Let's see it. Good. Now strike a dangerous pose." He nodded approvingly, "Not bad. Not bad at all. Go sit down, let me have a look at this fellow."
He shuffled through the second file folder before looking up at the individual who now stood in front of his desk. "Incognito, huh? I'm not so sure about this. Your backstory is minimal, your abilities are not particularly exceptional.
"I'm curious about this summoning Set thing that you include in your CV. Have you accomplished this already? No? So that's more one of your long term goals than an accomplishment? You might consider revising this resume."
He made the twirling gesture again and watched his subject turn. "I don't know about the skin color either; it won't be easy to properly convey in greyscale; looks like a pain in the ass. Do you intend to wear that coat the entire time? No? Then take it off and let me see what I'll be drawing. Keep turning. That's fine."
His feet hit the ground with a thump. "No, no, no! This will never do. No dickless grey guy is going to give Alucard a good fight. You can go." Kohta Hirano ignored Incognito's retreating back and walked around the front of his desk with his hand extended, "Welcome to the team, Captain Günsche. I'll introduce you to the rest of the cast a bit later. Let's sit down and discuss your contract."