The Breath Chronicles
A Tennis no Ohjisama Fiction
Disclaimer: Tennis no Ohjisama and all related titles are owned by Konomi Takeshi. This is merely a fan tribute and no monetary gain or copyright infringement is intended. Although Fuji and Tezuka in a box would be a welcome surprise…
The songs belong to their respective singers, songwriters, producers, distributors et. al. Again, no copyright infringement is intended.
Try not to Breathe – R.E.M.
Breathe – Michelle Branch
Barely Breathing – Duncan Sheik
Breathing – Lifehouse
Learning to Breathe – Switchfoot
Summary: This is, primarily, a Tezuka/Fuji fiction. If shounen ai offends you, please, do me a favor and stay away. Thank you. The Breath Chronicles are part song-fic, each can be read separately but are in the same timeline and universe. The Breath Chronicles are five separate fics, each with the theme of one song that includes the word "breath" in its title. Obviously.
Chapter One: Eyes to be remembered
I will try not to breathe, this decision is mine
I have lived a full life
These are the eyes I want you to remember.
"Try not to Breathe", R.E.M.
It was late, the kind of lateness that most people would be safe at home, children would be tucked into their beds, waiting for their bedtime story.
For some reason though, I was somewhere in Inner Tokyo, and I seemed to have mislaid my house. I debated on calling Oneesan, but decided against it. I would call her when the time was right, and I no longer felt alone. Besides, although I knew better, she was probably asleep.
Oneesan's favorite bedtime story, for me, when she was young and I was even younger, was the day my parents brought me home. She would tuck me in at night, when both Okaasan and Otousan would be working late, when Yuuta would already be asleep. She would smooth my hair back from my face, and she would lie on top of the blankets, her face calm and smiling, juxtaposed with my own.
And then she would start the story.
Her voice was soft and low, and her pace was slow enough to calm me into near-coma, but still alive enough to keep me listening until the end. "I was eight years old," she would say, "And I was old enough to know and understand that there was new life inside Okaasan, and as her belly grew in the coming months, I, like most only children, welcomed the coming of a new baby sibling."
At this point in her story, I would ask, "Did you want a baby sister?"
And she would shake her head, eyes opening wide in mock-shock. "Oh, no, no, no, Syu-chan," she would coo. "I wanted maybe a little sister and a brother, one of each, you know, but I would never replace you or Yuuta." Sometimes, also at this point, Yuuta would rouse himself, and get out of bed, pulling his stuffed rabbit after him, his pajamas bagging around his legs. Oneesan would scooch over so we could fit, side-by-side, in my bed. Then she would go on with her tale, one arm around Yuuta, and another around me.
"One day, Okaasan was groaning in pain, and Otousan was very panicked. He was talking into the phone. 'They're coming at a per thirty-minute interval. We're on the way to the hospital.' He motioned at me to grab Okaasan's bag, and to get in the car. And then he drove, almost at a break-neck pace, towards Tokyo General Hospital. When we got there, Okaasan was practically screaming. A nurse helped us out and Okaasan was wheeled away in a stretcher. Otousan was made to fill in forms, then he dashed down the hall, following Okaasan. 'Behave yourself, Yumiko!' he called over his shoulder. And I did. I sat down, primly, got a can of tea from the vending machine. Within minutes, a nurse approached me, smiling. 'Your parents and your new baby brother are in room 120.' I thanked her, then ran down the hall to see them." Here Yuuta's snores would interrupt, so she shifted some more so there was a less likelihood of him falling off the bed. She would smooth my hair again, and she would laugh.
"You were so small then! Like a doll. I was scared of breaking you. Okaasan and Otousan were smiling at me as I held you. I thought you were asleep. But then you opened your eyes. I nearly dropped you then. Your eyes were wide, and so, so blue! You blinked at me, once, twice, and then you closed them again, your tiny mouth opening in a cute yawn." Then she would get up, stretch, and bend down to adjust Yuuta's limbs on my bed, so he rested more comfortably against me. She would kiss me, and then Yuuta, on our foreheads. Then she would smooth down nonexistent creases in the comforter, and walk towards the door.
"And, you know, I think your eyes will stay with me forever." Here I would sit up confusedly (Oneesan was the only one who could do that at that time. Make me confused, I mean. Her, and Koujirou.) And ask her, brow creased, "Why?"
"Your eyes are truly blue, little Syuu-chan. The blue of the sky in its darkest hour, the blue of the sea, unpolluted. The blue of the waves as they reached up to drown you." Her voice would drop, a few octaves. "Especially when you cry." And she would turn off the light, and close the door, slightly, so a bit of light from the hallway came in a small sliver. "So, Syuu-chan, beware the one who makes you cry." It was a comment and a curse, an omen and a blessing. And like all of her predictions, it eventually came true.
Only one other person has said that to me since Oneesan. He just said it only two seconds ago, after we both lost control, after I kissed him, and he kissed back, with so much passion and need it left both of us breathless. He said it in his usual monotone, but his eyes mirrored the hurt and fatigue that was probably in mine. Oneesan had said it in a teasing voice, to get me to laugh. It was a time that I didn't even feel like smiling, because my little brother didn't want to see me, and just to show that, he had transferred schools. Oneesan hated it if I cried. She said my eyes looked different, that they were a deeper color, that they could make someone feel like they were drowning. He said it one day after the ranking matches, after both Inui and Echizen played their best against him and had given him a run for his money. We were both tired, the whole team was, and I wasn't helping things at all by being my usual infuriating self.
I couldn't have stopped myself, even if I'd tried. I'd known it wasn't the best time, but it was TIME, and I'd be damned if I'd let it slip by.
I waited until we were alone, and then I told it to him, the same way I tell people stuff that will embarrass them to no end. With a cheeky smile on my face and a tilt of my head.
"Hey, Tezuka," I said softly. He straightened up, holding his uniform top in one hand. "Hn." He'd replied, raising an eyebrow.
"I love you."
"Pardon me?"
"I love you." Here I was getting confused. He was supposed to pledge his undying love back. Someone should warn me not to read Oneesan's old shoujo manga when I'm bored. I lifted a hand up and rubbed at my ear.
"No."
He gave a long-suffering sigh and turned away, buttoning his top. Suddenly, I was on my feet, and I grabbed his arm, making him face me. I don't know if I tiptoed to reach his lips, or he bent down to cup my face between warm palms. And then the kiss. I think I was crying because it felt good, and because I knew the moment was not mine to claim.
Then he pulled back, sighing slightly, and he looked into my eyes. And his own widened slightly, and he brushed one of my tears away.
"I think your eyes will stay with me forever." I don't know if he pushed me away, or I pulled away of my own accord. Things get confusing and blurry at this point, when I started to run.
I do know that I was lost somewhere in Tokyo, following a long stretch of road that was bordered by houses, perfect houses with high walls and neatly trimmed grounds. I do know that I was wandering around, my eyes wide and probably tear-rimmed, because for the second and most painful time in my life, I had been refused. And I hadn't forgotten the pain. It's like riding a bike, or swimming. You never really forget.
And then the rain. I nearly smiled at the irony. When I felt like crying, the whole world cried with me. Ah, well. This would prevent my going to school, and thus facing Tezuka, which I would rather avoid under all circumstances. I walked calmly to a shed and took out my phone. It was time to call reinforcements.
It took four rings before she answered.
"'Neesan?" I sneezed, sniffled, and smiled.
"Syuusuke?" Her voice was worry-filled, and slightly hoarse.
"I'm sorry for waking you up." I pulled the phone away from my face and coughed, roughly.
"Syuusuke, where are you?"
"I don't know." I said honestly. "I can sort of see Tokyo Tower, but it's kinda blurry. I'm pretty near it though." I sneezed again. My throat felt funny.
"Don't worry. I'll be there as soon as possible. Stay there, Syuu-chan."
I suddenly felt like crying at the old endearment. I felt like I was seven years old, and I really was Syuu-chan, Yuuta was Yuu-chan, and she was simply Yu-neechan, born to protect and love us both until we turned into puddles of oily love. I simply said thank you, and hung up.
It took her ten minutes to reach me. As I got into the car, she saw my eyes, and she sighed. "Oh, Syuusuke."
"I know, I know. I'm sorry, won't happen again." And I felt the familiar face slip back on, simply because it was easier, so much easier than to tell her everything, explain everything, because it just hurt.
She was muttering darkly. "I hope he got a good look at your eyes, that stupid boy of yours." She pulled a tissue box from the glove compartment and handed it to me, eyes narrowed as I blew my nose into it.
I tilted my head slightly, confusedly, and looked at her. "Why?"
"I think you know the answer to that." She cupped my chin, briefly, in her palm, and smiled. And we drove on in silence, because we both knew.
The deep sad blue of my eyes, so like the waves when they reached out to drown you, would stay with him forever.
Owari (Chapter One)
A/N: Hate it? Love it? Should I be hanged? Are they too OOC? Do you think Tezuka would look good in a tutu? Do you think Fuji should wear a girl's uniform? Do you think Yuuta should turn pro? Do you think Mizuki will acquire reasonable fashion sense in the near future? Would you believe it only took me four minutes to type all these questions? When did Columbus discover America? Are my questions weird? Are they funny? Do I make your skin crawl? Is anyone irritated by my excessive questioning? What is polydactyly? Will you review?