Tired, that's all he felt; tired and alone. The lamp light flickered as a disheartened Shuji thought about his actions, although they were too late to think about now. Why did he do what he did? He curled over to the left side of his bed thinking about how he was the stupid one this time. The light kept flickering until it blew out. Shuji lost in his thoughts didn't notice. Why did I do that to you Chise he thought. He couldn't place all the blame on Fuyumi; he was responsible too. He was responsible for everything – well maybe not everything.

"Damnit…light went out" he muttered to himself and he fumbled through his junk drawer for a bulb.

As soon the bulb was placed inside, the light appeared and he saw the pictures, the one with him, Akemi and Fuyumi and the one with Akemi and Chise. A calming sensation came over him as his eyes focused on Chise's photo, until he remembered that they broke up.

"Oh, Chise…I'm the dummy now" he said to the photo as if it could hear him.

He picked up the photo frame and turned it over, trying to forget, trying to forget what he did, trying to forget the pain of his mistakes; he couldn't. Fuyumi wouldn't let him. As long Fuyumi was around he wouldn't be able to forget.

Shuji plopped himself on his bed. He could smell his mother's cooking faintly from the kitchen. He brushed his hand through his grayish looking hair. If only he hadn't been so careless.

"Shu-dear! Time for dinner!" his mother hollered from the bottom of the staircase.

Shuji just rolled over to the other side. He couldn't eat. Or maybe he didn't want to eat. Too many thoughts ran through his head, all focused on person: Chise.

"Shuji! Are you coming to dinner!" his mom yelled.

"Leave it in the microwave, mom!" he replied to her with a yell. Shuji looked over his shoulder; the picture was still facing down, just as he left it.

Meanwhile…

"Commander Chise!" Chise turned around and vaguely glanced at an SDF soldier running up to her. He spoke words, but the pills she had just recently took made her briefly deaf. She mumbled something in response and he looked at her quizzically. "Are you alright...?" the soldier began, but a hand touched his shoulder and he became silent.

"Lieutenant Tetsu." the soldier saluted.

Chise tried to get up, but failed. Everything had been failing her lately.

Tetsu privately commented something to the soldier, and he left, looking behind his shoulder at the small girl with the ripped school uniform. "Chise..." Tetsu began. Chise's hearing cleared up.

Chise's vision was clearing up as well, slowly and then she recognized him.

"Testu... I did it again..." she began, but a lump in her throat stopped her from saying anything more.

Tetsu knew what was about to happen. Chise would start crying and nothing he could say or do would stop her. "You did fine." was all he could ever manage.

Chise drew her attention to the remnants of a building she recently destroyed.

"D-destroy... I always...destroy...something. I can't..." Chise's stutters broke off with sobs.

Her throat was dry. She was tired.

She had seen enough destruction by her own hands. Foreign men died by her hand. People she didn't even know speaking languages she wasn't very good at. She killed them. They probably had families waiting for them somewhere and she killed. She killed their hope. She destroyed.

She murdered.

And she was going to keep doing so until she was at her wits end, if the SDF was kind enough.

Tetsu offered her his canteen. She took it, warily, and drank. She realized how thirsty she was and she tried to gulp down as much water as she could. Tetsu became concerned. "Hey, whoa, slow down." And on cue, Chise coughed up water.

Every time she took those pills, her senses became weak. He, Nakamura, and the others warned her the first time she took them, but she never did stop. Tetsu assumed that her body became addicted and there was nothing he could do.

There was always nothing he could do for anyone; not even for his own wife, Fuyumi. Here he was, fighting a war he didn't even know the cause of, and God knows how she was managing at home. He was well aware that she hated being alone.

Then again, he was afraid of going back. He was afraid of what he might find. He was afraid that maybe Fuyumi was with someone else. No. She would never he thought, and went back to Chise, who stopped coughing and began crying again.

"Why, Shuji, why!" she screamed through her heartfelt sobbing

Everyday, it was like this everyday after the break up. She hadn't come home in a few days.

She just didn't want to go back and be reminded of...him. But she did miss her family and friends and something inside of her also missed him, too.

"Shuji..." she whispered hoarsely, and new tears breached through her eyes.

Tetsu stood up and sighed in defeat. Chise looked up, tears still falling, and he spoke after what seemed like an eternity of silence.

"We'd better get back to camp. It's depressing just standing in these ruins."

Chise swiped her eyes again, this time noticing her trembling hands were covered in soot. She thought about how ridiculous she might look and smirked.

"Why am I so stupid?" she thought to herself as Tetsu looked back at her with pity.

Her jaw dropped a bit, making her mouth form an "O" and he managed to smile at her. She wiped her eyes and smiled back at him. Or maybe it was a grimace, or because her hands had spread the soot onto her face.

Either way, Tetsu laughed.

Shuji wasn't on her mind for that brief moment.