Lara Croft And The Hammer Of Thor: The High Cost Of Living Forever

By C. Mage

David looked out the window and found himself saying something he didn't think he'd be saying while aboard a jet-propelled aircraft: "Is that duct tape?"

"Don't ask me, Dave...I'm not looking. What's more, I'd appreciate it greatly if you didn't tell me where you saw the tape." The plane shook violently and Lara held on to keep from falling out of her seat. "Five minutes until the drop!"

"I can hardly wait! Never have I ever wanted to jump out of a plane so badly!" he yelled over the engines. "By the way, Lara, have I mentioned recently how much I'm starting to hate air travel?" David added through rattling teeth as they neared the drop site. The twin-engine plane had descended to jump altitude, but the turbulence threatened to loosen bridgework.

"You're just in a bother because you forgot your mouthguard!" She smiled, showing that she was wearing the same sort of mouth protection professional boxers used during a fight.

"I didn't think I'd be needing one!"

"You were obviously never a Boy Scout," she grinned. "At least the ride back won't be like this. I'd prefer a helicopter ride over this any day!"

"This was faster...and we are in a bit of a rush."

"You know, this might be a stupid question, wouldn't it have been better to, oh, I dunno, LAND?"

"We could...if we didn't run the risk of damaging our landing gear. The ice in this area is rippled, making any attempt to land hazardous to any landing gear not having the 'monster-truck tires' option."

"Why is it rippled like that?"

Lara smiled. "You'll see. Ready?"

"No, but why ruin a perfect record of going in unprepared?" He saw the red light over the opening side door turn green. "Let's go!"

Lara turned and leaped out the door, yelling, "GERONIMOOOOOOOOOO!"

David followed suit with a cry of "SITTING BULLLLLLL!"

"Sitting Bull?" Lara asked as she shed her parachute.

"What? You took the only other good Indian jumping name." He looked around through his goggles. "Where is it?" he yelled through the wind and the falling snow.

"Follow me!" She took out a GPS display and checked the coordinates. "Two miles that way!" She shrugged her backpack to a more comfortable position. As she did, she felt a small sense of satisfaction. She'd been denied the opportunity to see the Temple of Thor for several years, and now she had a good reason for coming back. She remembered the promise she'd made then, and Lara was looking forward to seeing the inside of the Temple.

She just hoped she was in time.

David trudged up the incline, feeling the effects of the cold and the high altitude. "Are we there yet?"

"David, if you ask me one more time, I'm going to turn this expedition around and we're going home, straightaway."

"Promise?"

Lara reached the top and pointed down. "There it is."

David gazed down the slope to an impossibility. Deep in the middle of a landscape in the icy grip of a relentless glacier, a gigantic longhouse prevailed, some unknown force causing the glacier to alter its flow to move around the structure. It reminded David of water flowing around a rock, only in this case, the ripples were frozen in compacted blue ice. The large ripples gave rise to smaller ripples, as if there was some tremor beneath the ice, causing the uneven terrain. "What the hell...there must be millions of tons of dense ice moving through here, and this place just...pushes it aside?"

"That's about it. Incredible, isn't it?"

"Something this size must've turned up on a satellite photo somewhere."

"Funny thing about that...it only shows itself to whoever's truly looking for it without looking for a profit."

David turned to Lara, his expression unreadable behind the muffler under his goggles. "You've been here before, haven't you?"

Lara nodded. "Come on, let's move. It'll be warmer inside, believe me." She took off, moving as fast as she could in the snowshoes. David shook his head as he followed her, wondering what else she'd left out about this place.

As they moved briskly towards the building, two pairs of eyes watched them...eagerly.

Lara and David rappelled down the side of the glacier, landing on a snow-covered landscape. Pines and evergreens were thick around the Temple, with a single stone path leading through the forest to the door. The building was made of wooden logs, but logs several feet in diameter. The wood was smooth, carved with depictions of bears, eagles and wolves. Even though it was clear the structure had existed for centuries, there was no sign of ruin or decrepitude. The trees smelled rich and alive, and to one side sat a large stable-like structure built in to the right side of the longhouse. David looked at the stable and smiled. "Just enough room for two very large goats."

Lara slid her goggles up on her forehead and pulled down the muffler from her mouth and nose. "For the two goats that pull his chariot. You have been studying."

David uncovered his face. "Come on, we can sightsee later. We've got to secure the hammer before Spy Vs. Spy show up."

Lara nodded and walked to the main doors, two iron bound slabs of wood thirty feet high. He looked up at two iron door knockers, a smile growing on his face. "Boy, would you look at the size of those...!"

"If you value your life, David Connors, do not finish that sentence. God knows I've heard that wretched line enough as it is."

David looked over at Lara's stern face. "Sorry," he chuckled, "couldn't help myself."

"That's starting to become your mantra, David," Lara said, but she wasn't totally disapproving. David's smile had a disarming effect upon her. "Just push the doors open."

David nodded and pushed hard, expecting the door to weigh several tons. Instead, the door swing open as if rocket-propelled, slamming into the side of the wall with a loud BOOOOOOMMMMMMMM! Lara jerked backwards at the sound in shock, then turned to David, who was simply standing there, his arms still outstretched. He slowly turned to her with a sheepish expression.

"Working out much, David?"

"Door must be balanced, or something, I guess...sorry."

"So much for the element of surprise." She drew her pistols, twin USPs. "Let's go."

David nodded, drawing his Desert Eagle .50 and walking in behind her, moving to the right and Lara moving to the left as they entered.

The lanterns and the braziers around the room were already lit, as if they alone were the cause of the glacier's detour around the Temple. The smell of roasting food was faint in the air, as if a feast had been held there recently. The tables, four of them, were long and made of thick oak, and the chairs were likewise well-made and sturdy, but it seemed like every inch of wood bord some sort of carved design or etching. Shields hung on the walls, providing mounts for swords and axes of various sizes and shapes. The ceiling was easily over sixty feet high, chains with braziers hanging from them.

Further past the tables sat a huge throne with two circular tables flanking it. On the left table sat a large hammer, with a simple squarish-shaped head and a short metal handle, wrapped with leather.

David stopped and looked at the weapon on the table. "That's..."

"Mjolnir," came a voice from an unseen source.

David looked around, readying his pistol. "Badger."

"And let's not forget his arch-enemy..." came abnother voice, smug.

Lara snarled, "Bloodwing."

"So, David, Lara, have you come to witness the mighty conflict between the noble Badger and the villainous Bloodwing?" The two walked out from behind the throne, Badger on the left, Bloodwing on the right. Badger smiled. "You came just in time. We're about to conclude this particular game. I won."

Bloodwing nodded. "And I lost..." He reached into his pocket and took out a worn golden coin, flipping it to Badger. "It was pretty close, though, you have to admit...closer than it's been in centuries."

Badger nodded. "True enough...with the possible exception of World War II. Now THAT was a close one..."

"WAIT A MINUTE!" Lara yelled, causing the two agents to look at her. "Are you trying to tell me that you went through all this...for a single gold coin? Are both of you mad?"

"A simple gold coin!" Badger said indignantly. "This, Lara Croft, is the FIRST gold coin ever minted. The first! This alone is priceless. It's a symbol of everything that was ever worth anything!"

Bloodwing looked equally angered. "You mortals have no idea just how precious this coin truly is!"

"Wait a minute..." David felt his head spinning slightly. "All this...was for...a bet?"

"Of course. I thought you would've figured that out by now, Dave," Badger said snidely. "Where'd you get your detective's badge, from a box of Crackerjacks?"

"But these are people's lives you're playing with, betting on!"

"Do you have any idea how many of you mortals there are? Hundreds of thousands died during the Trojan War, yet you people just kept right on breeding. Thousands more died during the American Civil War, and there was plenty more where that came from." Badger said condescendingly. "And don't even get me started on World War II. Do you know what kind of gambit that was? You should've seen it. A failed artist, made the antithesis of everything noble and fair...a victimized continent, screaming out for someone to save them...and then, two great powers, Russia and America, joining forces to stop this evil threat!" Badger sighed. "Have to hand it to you, Bloodwing, it was well-played."

"I try."

David snapped his fingers. "I got it..."

Lara turned to him. "What?"

"I know who these yahoos are. Elengaard and Merda!"

Badger and Bloodwing's congratulatory voices stopped cold and they slowly turned to face David.

David looked right back at them. "I've heard of YOU two. The writings of Meredith Salinger of Milan, 1755. Said to be the sons of none other than Loki and a frost giantess. Looks like you've been trying to take on the family busines, huh boys?"

As one, they smiled, the exact same smile. "Not bad, David. You might actually have the honor of being able to get close to us in intelligence."

Lara quipped, "Don't be sure."

Badger grinned. "You're right, Lara, he could never be that smart."

"No, I don't think he could ever be that stupid." Their smiles disappeared as Lara went on, "The writings didn't exactly paint you as very smart. In fact, according to her research, you two might have been fair of face and godly in aspect...but Loki thought you were idiots."

"Do you really think that two immortals can be able to create the greatest conflicts of history out of dumb luck?"

"I sincerely doubt you two could ever coordinate ordering pizza. How do we know you two did all those things?" Lara looked at them both. "We've seen no sign of supernatural power or strength. In fact, the only things David and I can verify for certain is that you're both insane."

Badger and Bloodwing looked at each other, and for a moment, David thought they were going to cry. Then the two agents went for their guns.

Lara and David had seen their next actions coming from miles away, and so had plenty of time to dive under the tables. The barrage of bullets continued until the telltale clicks of spent clips were heard and David smiled at Lara, nodding. Lara nodded back and rolled out from under the table, firing five bullets from each of her pistols at Badger. David rolled and did likewise, firing four times at Bloodwing's chest and putting two into his skull. The two agents dropped like bags of laundry.

David got to his feet, looking over at Lara with a slightly confused expression on his face. "You know, for a couple of so-called uber-spooks, that was..."

Lara spun her head to face him. "Don't say it!"

"...too easy."

A throaty gurgle came from Bloodwing's throat, then a spitting noise, then a small clattering sound. Lara narrowed his eyes at David accusingly. "You just HAD to say it, didn't you?"

David held up his hands apologetically. "It just slipped out, honest!"

A groan came from Badger and Lara turned to see him getting up, looking down at the fresh bullet holes in his body. He opened up his jacket to reveal the holes bleeding out, then the holes began to close up. "Wow...so that's what it's like to be shot. I don't think I like this sensation, Merdra."

Bloodwing/Merdra stood up. "Count your blessings, brother...that bastard put two of those things into my brain. I think those things made me forget how to speak Spanish. Ah well. I can always re-learn it." He spat up some blood and wiped his mouth.

David asked Lara without looking away from the two men standing before them, "Think it's time for Plan B?"

Before Lara could answer, the two men began to glow and shift shape, as if a curtain of water was moving in front of them. When the glow subsided, two tall men stood there, handsome and fair, wearing chainmail armor and carrying swords and shields.

Lara sighed. "Yes, Dave...it's time for Plan B."

The two sons of Loki gave a loud battle cry and jumped down from the platform where the throne sat, swords held high. David backed up, firing his Desert Eagle, only he didn't get the same reaction he was hoping for; the bullets bounced off the armor. The impacts didn't even slow the demi-god down. David jumped out of the way as the sword came down, cleaving the table in half.

Lara wasn't faring much better. Her bullets were having even less efeect, but she was faster than David, so it was easier for her to stay out of the way of the blade, but she knew that if she couldn't fight back in some way, this fight would have one very unlikeable conclusion.

The only weapon available that seemed likely to cause the demigods any real harm was Mjolnir, and as slow-witted as the demigods might have been, they appeared clever enough to keep themselves between the adventurers and the hammer of Thor.

David scanned the area, looking for anything he could use. "Lara, the walls!"

Lara looked up and saw herself close to one of the weapons mounted under the shields. Normally, they would've been out of reach for any ordinary mortal, but Lara Croft had exceeded "ordinary" some time ago, passed right through "spectacular" and was moving at a pretty good clip towards "amazing". She leaped up towards the wall, pushing off from the wall to the column behind her and spun, backflipping further into the air and spinning, grabbing the blade and shield, pulling them free. Lara grinned. "Care for a fair fight?"

"That would be nice...if I fought fair." Merda grinned and slashed at her, barely missing her as she ducked under the blade.

"Oh, good. Then I won't be the only one." She jumped back and Merda stepped forward, then felt his foot go out from under him. Lara had thrown the shield under his advancing foot, the momentum causing Merda to perform a textbook split any high school cheerleader would've been proud of...except Merda was no cheerleader. Fresh pain filled his brain as his body stretched further than it was supposed to go.

Merda swore at her in an ancient Norwegian tone, but Lara needed no translation to get the gist. She didn't think that would slow him down for long if bullets didn't kill him, so she wasted no time running for the table where Mjolnir lay.

Merda pulled himself to his feet slowly. "Brother!"

Elengaard turned to see Lara running towards the hammer, then felt his body being shoved towards a pillar as David planted one of the chairs against his side like a battering ram. Elengaard pushed back, stopping when felt his back against the pillar. "You may have caught me off-balance, human, but you are no match for a god!"

"DEMI-god, buster."

Elengaard roared as he pushed backwards, easily pushing David back, nearly making him fly across the table. Elengaard smiled, reaching down to pick up his sword, only the find that his sword was missing. He looked up as David rose from behind the table, holding the sword with both hands. "Ever get the feeling you were missing something?"

"Give me that!" Elengaard jumped over the table , then stepped back as Davi swung the blade in a slash at waist level.

"Sure, you can have it. Business end first!"

Lara reached the table where the hammer sat and tried to lift the weapon, but it might as well have been nailed to the table. "David, we have a situation!"

David didn't turn. "Have you got the hammer yet?"

"Yes...and no!" She jumped back as Merda surged forward, murder in his eyes. "I can't lift the hammer!"

"Oh, perfect!" He swung at Elengaard, who was starting to look more smug. "And what are you grinning at?"

"No one but Thor can even lift the hammer, much less use it. You both came here only to die. So go on, battle on...you'll tire, but we won't!"

"God, I hate it when this happens!" Lara swore, moving to keep the throne between Merda and herself. "Any ideas?"

"I'm dry...how about you, Elengaard? Don't suppose you'd consider a few fast mea culpas and just letting us walk out of here, huh?"

"What do you think, human?" He stepped forward, but David thrust forward, moving him back again.

"Nahhhh...you types enjoy your little games way too much." David was starting to worry. The blade was bigger than a claymore for him, and his muscles were starting to complain already at wielding the monster weapon. "Let me guess...slow and painful death?"

"Aw, and you didn't even need your other two guesses." Elengaard grinned, his handsome face wearing a cruel smile.

"Figures. Uh, Lara...I kinda got a long shot, here." David backed towards the throne slowly. "Willing to trust me on a little cultural clue or two?"

"Long shot's better than no shot at all, Dave."

"Okay...but before I do this, I gotta know something!"

Lara moved to the right as Merda moved to the left. "This had better be important!"

"Believe me, Lara, it's important!"

"What is it, then?"

"Lara Croft...will you marry me?"

Merda and Lara both stopped, then turned and faced David, twin incredulous looks on their faces. "Say again?" Merda asked.

"David, this is hardly the time!" Lara said, then remembered two seconds before Merda did that as well.

"I don't think I'm going to get any other chance! Answer the question!"

"Dave...come on, this isn't fair." Lara moved back slightly to give her more breathing room.

"Dammit, Lara...I love you. I've loved you from the moment I first met you! We've been together for over three years! I'm not going to give up on you. So what is the problem?"

"David..." She shook her head and looked at Merda. "Look, you and I both know that we're going to be keeping this throne between us for a while, so could we just take that as said and take a break while I sort this out?"

Merda nodded, smiling slightly. "Go ahead. This is better than cable."

"Thank you." She turned around and walked over to David, her face conflicted. "David, look...you don't understand. I like how things are right now. We don't have to worry about things..."

"...getting in the way? Is that what you were going to say? Look, I know the real reasons why you're doing this! You're..." He shook his head and looked at Elengaard. "How about a freaking time out?"

"Might as well, brother. They're not going anywhere and they can't lift Mjolnir," Merda interjected.

Elengaard looked at his brother, then at David and Lara. He stepped back and sat down on one of the chairs. "All right. You two have five minutes."

David dropped the tip of the sword to the floor, his muscles screaming at him. "Thank you." He turned to Lara. "Look, Lara...it may be fun, but it's not enough. I want to be your husband and I want you to be my wife."

"But you don't know what that'll mean...it means more responsibility..."

"We've saved the world and a few cities in particular a few times, Lara, who could be more responsible?"

"But...David, we're talking about children. We can't keep adventuring with a child..."

"Lara, come on. Can't we leave at least SOME of history for other people to discover?"

"But...David...there are a millions reasons..."

"Lara, I know about Michael."

Merda and Elengaard both raised their eyebrows. Elengaard blinked. "Okay. Didn't see that one coming."

Lara stared at David. "What do you know about him?"

"He died while he was on assignment with you. I know all about it. I'm sorry about what happened..."

"How did you know? I never told anyone except..." Her eyes went wide. "Mannfred!"

"Look, he didn't come right out and tell me, you know. I heard you having a nightmare about it and you kept saying his name over and over again. If you must know, it took me a year to wear him down to where he could tell me."

Lara squeezed her eyes shut, tears trailing down her cheeks. "It was my fault, I should have never taken him with me! His..."

"Stop it, Lara!"

Lara opened her eyes, staring at David. "What? What did you say?"

"You can't keep blaming yourself for that. You didn't drag him along, he volunteered. The snipers drove you two up to the roof, not you. You didn't make it rain and make the roof slippery."

"It was...!"

"Lara...listen to me." David placed his hands on her shoulders and turned her to face him directly. "It was not your fault. It never was. You've been punishing yourself for too long and you have to let it go or you'll never make peace with it. You have to let Michael go. Let him rest."

Lara suddenly rushed forward and hugged David, burying her face into his shoulder, crying out six years' worth of pain and heartbreak. She bawled like a child for a long time, moaning "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" over and over again, holding on to David as if she was dangling over a chasm. By and by, her loud sobs slowly subsided until they were feeble whimpers, still holding David desperately.

David looked up at the two demigods. "Uhm...a few more minutes?"

Merda, sitting on the throne, turned to Elengaard questioningly. Elengaard considered, then said, "Take your time. Cable nothing, brother, this is better than pay-per-view."

"Moments like this should be savored," Merda agreed.

Lara looked up at David, her eyes red and slightly swollen. She smiled feebly. "Still want to marry...a complete and utter wreck...like me?"

"In a New York minute," David said with a smile. "I want us to be a real family."

Lara laughed shakily. "I do have a rather considerable dowry...might as well use it while I'm still of marrying age." She wiped her eyes with a hand. "Uhm...shouldn't you be down on your knee...?"

"Oh! Yeah! Right!" David let her go and went to one knee, fishing out a small velvet box that looked as if it had been in his pockets for a long time.

"How long have you been waiting to give that to me?" Lara asked wonderingly, still a slight shudder in her voice.

David smiled up at her. "All my life." He opened the box, revealing an intricate gold ring with a sizable diamond on it, surrounded by three smaller diamonds. "Lara Croft..."

"YES!" she said, unable to hold it back any more, watching with glistening eyes as David put the ring on her finger. She looked at it as David stood up, then hugged him again, kissing him passionately.

Merda and Elengaard watched. Even after all the centuries they'd spent on Earth, they were still amazed from time to time about how some people managed to become capable of such powerful will and emotion. They waited until David and Lara had finished hugging and were now reduced to just gazing into each others' eyes, then Merda cleared his throat. "Ahem."

David and Lara turned to look at him, sitting next to his brother. "Uhm..."

"Elengaard, what do you think?" Merda said, turning to his brother.

"Well, David certainly gets points for emotional impact as well as his timing. The dramatic power of the moment of impending death to make such a bold bid for her love...it was quite impressive. Thumbs up all the way. What do you think?"

"Well, I was a little put off by the fact that David thought he had to wait until they were at the brink of oblivion to make such an important statement. There's no denying that it was quite dramatic, but I am not entirely impressed by his timing. A reluctant thumbs down." Merda smiled. "Well, I hate to say this, but we're deadlocked. And speaking of 'dead'...weren't we about to...?"

"MIND IF I PLAY TIEBREAKER?" thundered a voice throughout the longhouse, reverberating from the walls and the ceiling.

Merda and Elengaard blanched visibly. "Oh, goat dung..." Merda breathed.

"I THOUGHT THE ENTIRE AFFAIR VERY POIGNANT, ROMANTIC AND VERY DRAMATIC, CONSIDERING THE INTERLOPING OF THE FETID OFFSPRING OF MY HALF-BROTHER. IF I'D KNOWN HIS SONS WERE GOING TO CAUSE THIS KIND OF TROUBLE WHILE I WAS AWAY, I WOULDN'T HAVE STOPPED AT SEWING LOKI'S MOUTH SHUT...I WOULD'VE ALSO SEWN HIS LOINS SHUT AS WELL."

A massive thunderclap filled the hall and a flash of lightning struck the throne. When the flash cleared, a massive man sat upon it, making the two demigods look like 98-lb. striplings in comparison. He was dressed in a fur cloak, with ancient Norse armor, gold and red, with a horned helmet and furred boots. His eyes oriented on Merda and Elengaard, and his hand rested upon Mjolnir. "Well now, Lara...wasn't it just yesterday that you were here?" He said in a normal voice.

"I'm afraid it's a bit of a long story..."

"HOLD IT, YOU TWO," Thor interjected as he caught Merda and Elengaard trying to sneak out. "You two are in an incredible amount of trouble as it is...you try to run out on this and there'll only be one question in the world that'll be relevant to you both: original recipe, or..." A lightning flash and the sound of thunder came from the ceiling. "...extra crispy."

They froze in place.

"First smart move you two have made all millenium." Thor turned back to Lara. "So...from the beginning?"

Lara sighed and sat down. "It all started with a car crash..."

By the time Lara was done, with David adding in details from his perspective, hours had passed. Merda and Elengaard were still in the same spot, too scared to move.

"Thor, is it true what those two said about affecting world events, causing World War II and all that?" Lara asked.

"Those two? Loki's brood? Unlikely. They're capable of managing scams like these, but that big? Please." He turned to David. "You know something, you look familiar. Do I know you?"

"Me?" David gulped. Last time he'd been in the presence of a god, he was running for his life and he wasn't entirely sure he should be doing the same thing right now. "I can't imagine where."

"Wait, I know. You're Dad's kid...one of them, anyways, long removed, but his blood's in you."

"Dad? Dad, as in ODIN?" Lara gasped.

"Yep. Come on, don't you see the resemblance?" Thor took his helmet off and smiled. "It's in the nose and chin."

Lara blinked, then shook her head. "This is just too much. How did you know to come here when you did?"

"Easy. The door opened. As soon as the front door opened, I knew I had to get here. The door would only open for one of the Asgardians. I thought one of those yahoos opened it, but it seems that I have you to thank for that, David. Oh yes, one more thing. You were serious about making an honest woman out of Lara?"

David looked over at Lara. "You bet your hammer I am."

Thor nodded. "Alright, then. Guess I can trust you with this, then." He held out Mjolnir to David.

David gaped. "You're kidding."

Thor frowned. "Do I look like the kind of person who kids around at anything?"

David gulped and grasped the hammer, expecting it the fall to the floor as if he'd been given a VW bug to carry. To his and Lara's shock, he held it just fine. David hefted it. "Wow. Thor's hammer."

"Consider it a wedding gift. Just don't throw it or point it at anything you want to keep." Thor stood up. "As for YOU TWO...I'm dropping you off at Asgard. You two have a lot of explaining to do to Dad. You'll be lucky if he doesn't decide to engage you two in Gungnir-catching practice," Thor quipped.

Merda and Elengaard remembered Gungnir, Odin's war spear.

"But who knows...if you're fortunate, you'll be cleaning up behind Dad's steed for the next eon or so." Thor smiled. "Know how much food an eight-legged horse goes through?"

The two demigods groaned. They did know...and they also knew how much Sleipnir left behind.

"As for me, I'm going on vacation. But who knows...maybe I'll show up at the wedding. On the groom's side, of course." Thor winked. "Ciao for now." He reached out and grabbed Merda and Elengaard by their necks, winked at Lara, then vanished in a flash of lightning.

David and Lara stood there for a time, marveling at what they just went through. As they turned to each other, Lara smiled at David. "So, Dave...tell me. What part was the most incredible? Finding out they were demigods? Meeting Thor? Or was it finding out that you're a descendant of a divine line?"

David smiled. "Are you kidding? It was you saying 'Yes'."

Lara smiled, so happy she couldn't believe it. She'd been fearing his question for almost two years...and all she could think was, THIS was what I was afraid of for so long? This wonderful revelation was what had been giving me nightmares? I was such a fool, a complete, utter fool...but no longer. It took her a full ten minutes before it occurred to her to transmit the signal to get their ride to come back, this time with a helicopter. As she set up the beacon, she turned to look at David.

He sat on a chair near the throne, looking up at the intricate artwork, the carvings. It was strange...he figured he never needed a heritage, being an orphan, and figured he could get by on his own. Now, he knew that he came from somewhere, that he had origins, a past, a family, even though it was an unusual family. He was startled a little at the touch on his shoulder, but when he saw that it was Lara, he relaxed. "Hey, Lara..."

"Are you all right?" she asked.

"I'm just...wow."

"My, what sparkling repartee you have. Our evenings at home will just scintillating." Lara smiled.

"No, it's just...when I woke up, I didn't have anything I could really call my own. Now I have a family, a heritage...and a wife."

"Fiancée, actually, but why split hairs?" She smiled and sat in his lap. "You know, David...we are in a temple, and you know...I've never had a passionate encounter in a temple before."

"Lara! Let's not forget that this place belongs to a relative of mine? It'd be like having sex in my parents' bed or something..." David's eyes twinkled as light dawned. "Oooh. You're bad."

"Yes, I am."

"That is VERY naughty."

"Yes, it is." Lara grinned.

"And there's a bearskin rug over by the firepit over there."

"Why, so there is."

"...race ya."