TITLE: Somewhere, The Fates Are Laughing At Me

SUMMARY:For Rika Haruko, eating a blessed fruit which leads to being cursed like the one on the Sohma family and impersonate her twin brother are the least of her worries when she has to deal with love! Oh, and did I mention she has a very active consience?

DISCLAIMER: No, I do not own anime/manga/products of Fruits Basket, so don't attempt to sue me. Thank-you.

IMPORTANT: "..." speech )...( annoying A/N interruptions - Rika might have an annoying consience that talks to her throughout the story, I haven't decided yet.

CHAPTER: Prologue

Make them 16 (Hatsuharu and Momiji) or 17 (Tohru, Kyo, Yuki, etc.), the rest, I don't remember -.-

-.-

Prolouge: Peaches, Buddha, Curses And Meetings!

Forest Shrine

? POV

Pain.

That was the first thing that woke me up. I winched as I looked around and realized why; I was bleeding-a lot. Dark red blood was gushing out of my leg.

"Oh great, I'm bleeding to death, if it isn't being beaten to death, it's bleeding. The joy." I murmured with sarcasm. I glanced up and almost fainted with joy. Food!. There, in those cheesey glows of something from above where peaches all stacked up in a pile. I reached up to grab one, when that annoying conscience came in.

'That's not your food, it's the god's.' it reminded me.

"So? What have they ever done to me?" I countered back. Before I continue, you must think I'm crazy, I mean, I'm talking to myself and the otherself is always reprimanding me. Well, I'm not. I just have an active consience, so don't judge me! Okay...

'Well, what have you ever done for them?' it mocked.

"Better than what they put me through, need I remind you-err...me? Abuse, pain, suffering, pain, tears, more pain, spineless father, pain, bitchy step-mother, did I mention pain?" I said, reaching for that top plump peach. I swear, my mouth started to water.

Smothering the voice in my head, I took a bite. And another, and yet another. There was a glow, and I looked down. I had to pinch myself and take a double look; my leg was healed. I stared amazengly at the fruit. That saying is true, fruit IS good for you! I took another fruit and was about to take a bite when darkness overcame me.

oO Dream/Reality...Oo

Flash of light, and beings surounded the shrine of fruit and a beaten girl of no more then twelve. The first god, dressed in robes of gold and black, approached the shrine and was about to take the pile of fruit when a frown and whirled around, eyes flashing.

"YOU!" The god said with rage, but the little girl was knocked out. When he said that 'you' again, this time, there was thunder and lightening in the background. Still nothing. A sweat-drop formed in the back of his head. He kneeled down and shook her violently. The other gods/goddesses let out a mushroom-shaped breath. "Hey, girl! Wake-up!" He said with a grunt, shaking her until she stirred.

"Huhmn?" the girl murmurred, and tossed to the otherside. She sat bolt up and yelled out, "Okay! Okay! I'll cook dinner-I-I mean, breakfast, don't use the stick, plea-huh?" She looked around confused, and asked, "Where am I?" She jumped when there was an answer.

"Ahem, YOU!" She whirled and found her face full of gold silk-like cloth, looking up, her jaw opened in amazment at Yamu, the god. She looked up and stuttered, "A-a-am I dead?" He rolled his eyes and muttered, "humans..."

"Nooo...YOU STOLE MY FRUIT! NOW, I WILL BE SHORT ONE ENTERNAL PEACH TREE! DO YOU KNOW THE PRICE OF THIS CRIME!" She narrowed her eyes at him and fell back into a sleeping postion.

"OW! Why'd you do that!" she said, nursing the new bump on her head.

"WHY YOU FALL BACK ASLEEP IN FRONT OF YOUR GOD?" He said in an annoyed, godly voice.

"First, what's with the capitals? Second, why am I dreaming of gods, including the god of all gods, Yamu, who's talking in capitals? Oh, and why am I talking to you in my sleep?" The surrounding gods fell to the ground, twitching.

"ANYWAY...YOU STOLE MY FRUIT! NOW, I WILL BE SHORT ONE ENTERNAL PEACH TREE! DO YOU KNOW THE PRICE OF THIS CRIME!" Yamu said with his arms crossed.

"Uhhh...no?" was the reply.

"THEN KNOW THIS! YOU HAVE DEVOURED MY PEACH! PREPARE TO TURNED INTO A TOAD, uhhh...what's your name, again?" he asked.

"-.-; How the hell are you a god if you don't know my own name!"

"YOU KNOW HOW MUCH PEOPLE THERE ARE ON THIS EARTH, WOMAN!"

"Okay, okay...don't need to spit. It's Haruko, Haruko Rika." )A/N: Rika is the first name, she following Japanese tradition...sorry this is borring -.-;(

"Good, now...HARUKO RIKA! BE PREPARED TO SUFFER AN ENTERNITY OF EATING INSECTS!" Raising his hands in a threatening way, he was about to strike when a chubby hand stopped him.

"B-B-BUDDHA!" Rika exclaimed in surprised. Indeed it was, for it was the peaceful, fat god of ummm...buddhaism?

"Now, now, Yamu. What did we say about cursing mortals? Did you forget those lessons in God Anger Management?" he said, wagging his finger.

"B-b-but she ate my fruit!" Yamu whinned.

"Uhh...can I wake-up now?" the twelve-year-old girl asked.

"No child, you DID eat fruit that was not meant for you. Why?" Buddha asked.

"I was hungry. Hadn't eaten in over a week." she relpied with a shrug.

"Then, you both did-or was about to do-something wrong. But," Buddha added, seeing the looks of both faces, "right and wrong is hard to tell apart, I think Yamu shoul-"

"SHOULDN'T YOU BE TEACHING CUNFUSOUS, OR SOMETHING?" Yamu thundered in an irritated tone.

"That old guy died a looooooooooooong time ago." Rika said. This is WEIRD. she thought with a raised eyebrow. After a long time of debating, they all decided to give Rika a fair sentence: To be cursed as the Sohma family, turning into the animal she would be inhabited by if she were to be hugged by an uncursed male.

"What animal?" she asked with curiosity.

"THAT IS WHAT YOU WILL FIND OUT WHEN YOU ARE HUGGED! NOW YOU WILL SPEND THE REST OF YOUR DAYS UNLOVED AND UNLOVING!" Yamu said with glee.

"I'm sorry, child. That was the best I could do." Buddha said with a bow.

"I bet it's a toad." She said with a roll of her eyes.

Morning

"Well, what do we have here?" A beady-eyed woman asked her husband.

"Why, it's our good-for-nothing daughter refound! How...lucky for her." he said, moving to haul her back to their house. When to circled his arms around her to lift her up...

POOF! A warm sand colored cloud of smoke encircled the three.

When it disappeared, the couple hooted with glee.

5 Years Later

A girl with brown hair, rust-colored streaks and sandy colored eyes studied herself in the mirror. The once waist length hair was reduced to ear height and was spiked. Thanks to concealer, her face was now more ruff and so much like a boy's. Putting on fake thick glasses, she frowned at the boy in her mirror. You can still see the streaks...She criticized mentally, putting on a orange cap, she prayed it would help.

"Perfect." she said with a smirk and headed out of the shelter/hut thing in a thick wood. Once in the halls of the school, Rika fell deep in thought.

)A/N: Rika is a boy to the others, but I'm still referring to her as 'girl', 'Rika', 'she' and so on, don't get too confused. If you are, review to tell me and I'll ATTEMPT to clear things up!(

Okay, your name is Haruko Rika-no, no! Haruka Riku! Haruka Riku! Your mother is dead, and your father is an archaeologist, currently in Africa. Umm...Your brother-no! Sister is with him-err, her name is Riku-no, that's your name, now. Your SISTER's name is RIKA. You are currently living alone. Not noticing where she was going, she bumped into another girl with large brown eyes, a blue uniform with blue ribbons in her hair and dark brown hair.

"I'm uhh...sorry..." Rika said in a low voice, putting her hand infront of her.

"Oh, no! It's my fault, it's okay." She said, taking her hand. She noticed Rika's school uniform and smiled. "I'm Honda Tohru, are you new?"

Hitaru: Tah-da! A weak intro! I hope you liked it!

Mini-Waffle: Baka, how do you enjoy a weak intro!

Hitaru: Ahhh...but this seprates to fate-ful from the fate-less! The fate-less stops reading it, but the fate-fuls continues, and thus, they are rewarded by a great middle and touching ending!

Mini-Waffle: That makes no sense, and you spelled it wrong.

Hitaru: Shut-up! Making prologues are hard! Folks, it'll get better, I swear! Flames will be used to make fish and chips! 3 reviews are desired before chapter 1!

Mini-Waffle: ...Why fish and chips?

Hitaru: I dunno! S'mores are too common, come on, Mini-Waffle! Live a little! It doesn't sound that bad!

Mini-Waffle:...What?

Hitaru: At least it's not MINI-EGO-WAFFLES! lol

Mini-Waffle:...? HEY! I RESENT THAT! Smack

Hitaru: X.x

Mini-Waffle: Review or I'll send an army of Kyo and Yuki pluhsies to your door.

Hitaru: That doesn't sound threatening...hey! That was MY line!

Mini-Waffle: shrugs So?

Hitaru & Mini-Waffle: Ja!

...And they all walked away.