This is the revised version of my first chapter. I have reformatted it in such a way that I've changed it as little as possible, yet the fact remains that this story is no longer in 'script format', as it is indeed against the rules.

NOTE TO READERS: This is in fact my first fic, and as such, it's probably not very good, but part of the sub title of this web site is "…free your soul.", so that's what I'm doing.

SECOND NOTE TO READERS: this little bit of insanity is officially rated T, even though some people might say it would be better off in the "rated M" category, but I'm the author, so HA! Beat that!

THIRD (and final) NOTE TO READERS: PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE read and review, that's what "R&R" means, THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT HERE; FOR ME TO GET REVIEWS! So enjoy o.k. :-)

I don't own Tales of Symphonia, its respective characters or the Tower of Salvation.

Oh yeah, just a little background ABOUT THE STORY. First off, I sort of have accidentally altered the original plot line of Tales of Symphonia. What I mean by 'accidentally' is that I originally thought the final destination of the game would be the Tower of Salvation, and that you would be forced to climb this enigmatic pillar that goes up for ever and ever. Having said that I thought, "Hey! What if the Tower of Salvation had an elevator?" then the other voice in my head (yeah, I here voices, but who cares!) said, "Well even if that's an express elevator, it would probably take you about a day to get to the top, and a day for the elevator to get back down!" Then I thought, "Yeah, and there's only enough room on the elevator for one person at a time!" So I figured; a story that revolved around 6 people (Lloyd, Colette, Genis, Kratos, Raine, and Sheena) who are trying to use an elevator with these particular characteristics would be great for my first anecdote on FanFiction. I'd Also like to clear up that this story was thought up by me when I was not very far in the game (Sheena had only just joined my party); I foolishly thought that aside from Sheena, Raine, Kratos, Genis, Colette, and Lloyd, there were to be no other characters to join the party throughout the rest of the game. And now that I have thoroughly beaten the game, I know that much of this document will contain rather false information. Also consider that despite the fact that some of the characters in this story may seem to get their egos hurt/abused by me, I am very, very, very passionate about this game (it's my 2nd favorite video game ever right after The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time), and I truly mean no harm to its characters or reputation.

WARNINGS: OOCness, swearing, Zelos-related humor (but no Zelos), AND NO LEMONS AND/OR LIMES!

ONWARD!

The party had finally made it to the Tower of Salvation. After many long months of fighting enemies, solving puzzles, saving cities, freeing slaves, and being forced to stay in one another's dysfunctional and obnoxious company for longer than is suggested for ones health; they were at last their destination: The Tower of Salvation. They had but one problem now: how to get to the top?

"Whoa!" Lloyd said, staring up at such a sharp angle he was almost looking straight up, "That thing just like, goes up forever."

"Yeah!" Piped Genis, his dim-witted companion, "It like, doesn't stop."

"OH!" Gasped Colette, the blonde of the party, "Lookie, an elevator!"

"I get to push da button!" Quoted Sheena (A.KA. the erotically dressed).

"No," Insisted the shaggy haired man known as Kratos, "I wana push da button!"

"I need to REASEARCH da button!" Screamed the nerdy one known to the rest of the party as The Professor.

Everyone, save Lloyd, started to sprint for 'da button', with an attention-deficit driven desire to be the first to perform such a tiny task. "My Button!" they shrieked.

"It's just a damn button." Lloyd stated, being the only member of the party who was usually mentally stable.

But despite his logical input, by this time everyone else was in a huge pile. Biting and kicking and screaming like a bunch of six-year-olds that knew how to use destructive magic skills (which they were casting right and left), and all were shrieking, "BUTTON!"

"Oh, for the love of the internet!" Lloyd sighed, pushing the elevator button.

Ding!

Everyone stopped fighting and stared motionlessly at Lloyd with anime sweat drops on their foreheads, and an expression on their faces that said, 'I can't believe he beat us to da button!' "Have you guys had your pil- I mean candies yet today?" Lloyd said, feeling like a teacher at a special education school.

"Oh BOY!" The others cried in delight, "Candy time!"

Lloyd turned his back on them and started wrestling with a medicine bottle labeled: Anti-A.D.H.D. "Damn these child-proof caps!" He muttered to himself.

POP!

Lloyd quickly threw a colorful, kangaroo shaped 'candy' to everyone else. "O.K. you guys," he unenthusiastically instructed them, " you know the drill, just eat your little…candies."

"Yay! A candy I can RESEARCH..." Raine squealed in delight until she noticed Lloyd was glaring at her with a look that would make a grown man cry, "...or eat!" she finished as she quickly gobbled down the 'candy'.

Genis however, was absolutely hysterical. "HA! HA! HA! HA!" he cackled in triumph, "I ate its head off!"

After a thirty second wait; Lloyd looked up from his watch (yea, they had those back then) and asked, "Sober now?"

"Yep." the others replied in more controlled tones.

"Al-righty then!" Lloyd grinned in a 'hail me; the glorious leader' manner, "Let's get this saving the world thing going." Everyone pulled out their various and respective weapons (the pointy and the blunt) and headed for the elevator.

Unbeknownst to them, the elevator was quite puny, and it could not by any means hold even two of them at a time. Essentially, this is how the disaster played out. First, Kratos (who was in the lead at this time) took a step and a half before banging into the adjacent wall of the elevator interior and bloodying his nose. "Ouchie!" The shaggy ape of a man yelled.

The Professor was following him and was taken completely by surprise when he stopped. She walked into him from behind, and and her face met his pointy, grease-hardened hair, "EEEEK!" the woman cried as her face was scratched and cut.

Sheena came next and met a fate much like Kratoses, only she bloodied her nose after smashing it into a brick placed flatly in the pocket in the back of Raines robes (She used it for RESEARCH). "Gah!" The Mizuhoian grunted, "Oh great, now I'm bleeding!"

Genis happened to be right in behind Sheena when she tilted her head back to hinder the flow of blood, and unintentionally brought her pineapple-like, gel-hardened hair down on Genises face, slicing it to ribbons. "AAAAAUUUUGGGGGHHHH!" screamed the grey-haired shorty.

Colette on the other hand, was still quite a distance away from the elevator when she tripped over her own feet and fell for the ground. "Oops." The Chosen recited on instinct (she had taught herself to deal with her clumsiness as opposed to trying to become more... agile) "Not again!"

While everyone else got hurt one way or another, Lloyd watched from a distance and was thinking to himself, "Considering the highly plausible chance of getting hurt, I don't think I'll adva-" when Colette fell on him and knocked him him to the ground. "OOF!" was the only word he could muster.

Noticing Lloyd beneath her, Colette sure enough got the wrong idea. "Wow Lloyd!" She bubbled in admiration, "How do you always know when to catch me?"

"Instincts." he said in a soft voice, "NOW GET OFF!" he said in a loud voice.

Each party member took this opportunity to distanced themselves from everyone else so they could nurture their own wounds with bandages that had lost their adhesive, toilet paper they had swiped from public restrooms, and alcohol that was made for drinking, not disinfecting. They did this for a few moments until Lloyd final remembered something that might prove to their advantage. "Hey!" the brunet exclaimed, "Why are we fixing ourselves the old-fashioned way? We've got magic!"

Yanking a lucky rabbits foot out of his bloody nostril, that he had apparently been using as a napkin, Kratos stammered, "Oh dyeah! Soldy, I fordot. HEABLING VIND!"

BLING!

"Oh, I do dislike that noise it makes!" Colette whined, her hands over her ears.

"You're not alone." Sheena commented, removing her earplugs.

"Your welcome!" Snapped a very unhappy Kratos.

At this moment, the heavens opened up, and from them sprung the image of a god-like enigma known to some as Bungiefan89, and to others as The Author. "Could we please wrap this chapter up some time today!" his voice, that shook the snow-capped mountains, boomed, "I have some business to attend to." He then gestured toward a sexy woman in the background, who looked as though she felt rather chilly.

"Hey!" Sheena protested, "Isn't that my swimsuit she's wearing!"

"O.K." the being replied, "I'll make her STOP wearing it!" He then laughed triumphantly in a tone defined only as the 'behold I am the supreme ruler and controller of all' tone; and disappeared.

Wide eyed, Lloyd spoke, "Boy, The Author sure is… busy."

"What's wrong Sheena?" Colette (the innocently minded member of the party) asked with a puzzled look on her face, "He said he'd make her take it off."

Sheena shuddered and replied, "Exactly." "Is there some hidden meaning here that I'm just not understanding?" asked the very confused chosen.

"Yeah!" Lloyd answered, "It's called 'M-rated content'." "What's that supposed to mean?" The blonde wondered. but no one felt like they had to expose her mind to the harsh reality of the real world quite yet, so they kept their lips sealed.

FIN!

Well, that's about it for the revival of the first chapter! Unfortunately, this means that you'll have to wait a bit longer for the next chapter than usual. Let it be known that I take back what I said about uber flare being a lier in chapter 2, and I beg for uber flares forgiveness. Chapter 3 up soon! R&R :-)