Warnings:Yaoi! Guy x Guy. Gay Digimon Characters. Just the way it should be.

Disclaimers: Digimon is not mine.

A/N: Believe it or not, here's the next part of Changing Destiny. Not surprisingly, Daisuke has taken over this story and I'm not entirely sure where it's going anymore, but I'm sure it'll be exciting, charming, and heartbreaking. Poor Daisuke...

Recap: When last we left our hero, he and the Chosen Children had been enjoying a holiday in the cabins of a frozen forest. However, a conversation with Hikari and Takeru upset him and he gathered up his digimon and left.

Changing Destiny

Part 3: Where I'm Wanted

by loveasthouwilt

Even Chibimon couldn't sleep through the twisting, squeezing pressure of our raw data being crammed back into physical form so that we could return to the real world. He stirred in my arms as I stepped into the school's computer lab.

"What are we doing here?" he asked sleepily. "Is the weekend over?"

I set him and the snow-dampened blanket he was wrapped in on the floor and sat at the desk in front of the closed gate. "It's still the weekend," I assured him.

"Why are we back in school if it's still the weekend?"

I took my D-Terminal out of my pocket and opened the Kaizer's email, studying the obscure return address. "I'm gonna look for Ken."

Chibimon gasped. "Daisuke, no!"

I looked away from the email and gave him my attention while he brought all the excuses he could think of into one argument. "It's dark and it's late and I'm tired and hungry and the others will be worried and we have no idea where he is, otherwise we'd have stopped him a long time ago, and he's mean and he's scary and he's just trying to trick you!"

"It's not a trick!" I argued. It can't be...

"This is because he kissed you, isn't it?"

"No!" I snapped. How dare he accuse me of being so shallow? There are a lot of reasons why I want to find Ken...

Granted, that is one of the main reasons...

"Just trust me," I said. "I know what I'm doing." And, of course, I didn't, but it was important that I projected confidence.

"You can't stop him alone," Chibimon squeaked sadly. "You need the team."

"I don't need anyone," I said firmly, then softened my voice, "Just you." I reached for the computer mouse, hoping to end the argument at that.

Chibi watched silently as I brought up a text box on the computer screen already showing the map of the Digital World and typed what was in the Digimon Kaizer's return address. As I hoped it would, the computer pinpointed the area of the Digital World where the email had come from. He probably gave me this clue on purpose. He knew I was smart enough to figure it out.

"They'll be able to find you using their digivices," Chibimon said, still trying to find a good reason not to go.

"Ken'll find a way to fix that," I said. He's a genius. He'll come up with something. I didn't know that for sure, but if he could keep us from tracking his digivice, he could do the same for mine.

"Do you really trust him with your digivice?"

"I trust my instincts," I said, looking back at the computer screen. I must sound like I'm trying to convince myself as much as convince him.

Chibimon crawled into my lap and looked up at me nervously. "You won't leave me behind, will you? Not even if the Digimon Kaizer asks you to?"

I smiled and hugged him tightly. "No chance. You're my pal and he's not the boss of me!"

He whimpered like he still didn't quite believe me, but he made no more protests as we disintegrated into data and re-entered the Digital World.

The hot night wind rolling through the river valley was a welcomed change from the piercing frost I had spent the last few hours in. It was still really dark, and the moon was inconveniently hidden behind the clouds as Veemon and I searched the area for the Digimon Kaizer's base.

I assume he has a base, somewhere... I can't imagine the young lord sleeping on the ground. Not when he has slaves to build him a shelter.

If this were a movie, the bad guy's base would be hidden underground with a secret door to the outside. There would be cameras and alarms and traps hidden all over so that he could be warned about intruders. If this were a video game, there would be slave digimon guarding the front entrance, ready to battle at any time.

But there wasn't anything like that anywhere. The trees in the valley were sparse and the grass grew low to the ground. You wouldn't be able to hide much of anything there. The only evidence that the Kaizer had ever been there at all was the damnable control spire in the higher cliffs. If the Kaizer's base was here, it was expertly hidden.

Or maybe wasn't hidden all that good; I was just too dumb to find it.

After about an hour of searching hopelessly through the dark, I gave up. I didn't want to, but it was admittedly stupid to keep trying to find him in the pitch dark.

"Forget it, Veemon," I said without looking down at the digimon standing beside me. "I'm tired. We'll try again tomorrow."

Just then, Veemon spun around and clenched his fists defensively. "Digimon Kaizer!"

I turned to look and, sure enough, there stood the scowling Kaizer in full imperial regalia. "You woke me," was all he said.

Great. He's pissed off already and I haven't even done anything yet. "Sorry..."

To my immense relief, he snickered lightly at my pathetic apology. "I wasn't expecting you this late." Then he looked at Veemon, though he was still speaking to me. "You can both come inside, if you like," he offered, not taking his eyes off the nervous digimon. "While you are guests in my fortress, you have my word no harm will come to either of you."

So, his fortress was hidden somewhere around here...why couldn't I find it? I suck.

Veemon wasn't answering his invitation, so the Kaizer looked to me instead. "Would you like to sleep in a bed?" he rephrased his question with a smirk.

My mind plunged into the gutter briefly, but I yanked myself back out, mentally slapping myself. He's offering a bed, not his bed, you dolt. And you don't want to find yourself there, anyway.

I forced myself to sound cheerful. "That would be way better than sleeping out here," I said. "Even Veemon can't argue with that." Sure, he could have; but he didn't.

So, with my digimon partner walking silently beside me, I followed the Kaizer. We walked until we were climbing the hill that would lead out of the valley, and while I was wondering how the Kaizer's base could be anywhere around, considering you could see the horizon in all directions with no hint of anything that could hide a fortress, a door slid open in the ground, revealing a staircase leading down into darkness.

Ken looked over his shoulder to catch my disgruntled expression.

I had been right about it being in the ground, at least...

I don't see why he looks so smug, though. Outsmarting me can't be that big of an accomplishment.

He started to go down the stairs and I was suddenly reminded of something. "Wait!"

He stopped and turned around, now looking up at me, and looking unnecessarily peeved.

"My digivice," I explained, taking the item out of my pocket. "It'll make the others able to track me."

He smiled. "That is easily remedied. Now, come on."

I sighed. All my big problems must seem so small to him.

After checking to see if Veemon was still behind me, I followed the Kaizer down into the fortress. The walls and floors were all dark, blue-gray metal lined with glowing yellow veins that resembled circuitry. Little pulses of light trailed the paths. In fact, those veins seemed to be the only light source in the whole place.

The stairway opened into a hall that stretched into darkness on the left and right. We turned, I don't remember which way, it's not important, and walked past several other staircases, some leading back up, others going down, until the hall opened into a huge room that resembled something from a Star Wars movie.

It was a huge, round room with a big opening in the middle so that you could see down several levels into darkness, and the ceiling was lost in darkness, too. I didn't realize how deep into the earth we had come.

A rod that looked like a TV antennae was suspended at the center of the room. This was probably the center of the fortress, with the power generator room on one of the lower levels, if TV shows have taught me anything.

I continued to follow Ken on the path that led around the edge of the room to the opposite side, into a hall that was identical to the one we had come from. I could get lost in here easily.

Before I could make any comments about his base's redundant design, the Kaizer turned and went into a room that wasn't connected by stairs. I didn't know what function this room was supposed to serve. It was big and empty except for the chair right in the center and the caterpillar-like digimon curled up at the foot of the chair.

"Wormmon!" The Kaizer snapped. It startled me as surely as the digimon. "Bring me the keys to the guest room."

The green digimon lifted his head. "Yes, Master," he mumbled obediently, then left the room. That's sorry that Ken makes his digimon partner call him Master.

From out of nowhere, a screen with computer menus appeared in front of Ken. "I have a program that will modify certain functions of the digivice," he explained. "I can alter what entities the digivice can detect, or limit what gates it can open. I can even force certain digimon to evolve against their will." He stepped away from the screen. "It's remarkably easy to work with a digivice. Just hold yours to the screen like you were opening a gate."

I was more than a little reluctant to do so, and I had Veemon tugging at my leg, reminding me of the risks. There was no telling what changes the Kaizer had actually programmed. What if he could turn off my digivice's ability to make Veemon evolve?

"I assure you," Ken said, sensing my distress, "the only change in your digivice will be the one you asked for. The Digital World program will no longer be able to detect you, but your information will be saved, if you ever want it returned to the digivice."

Digital World program?

From the way Veemon's claws were digging into my legs, he apparently didn't like the way the Kaizer said that, either.

While I stood there, pondering the risks, Ken was getting irritated. "I'd like to get some sleep tonight, if you don't mind."

I sighed. Even if the digivice was scrambled and he lost his ability to evolve, Veemon could still kick butt if he needed to.

With that in mind, I held the device to the screen and a bolt of light shot from one to the other. It didn't even last long enough for it to be impressive, just zapped away as quickly as it had come. When it was all over, the screen on my D-3 was blank.

"It'll take until morning for the digivice to accept the new settings. Like rebooting a computer after installing a new program." The Kaizer turned off the computer screen, leaving the room dark again. Then Wormmon returned, having known better than to come in earlier and interrupt.

We left that room and Veemon and I were led to another. I wondered why Ken kept the guest room locked. Maybe 'guest room' was a horrid euphemism for dungeon. After all, what other 'guests' had Ken ever expected?

Thankfully, that wasn't the case. The room didn't even lock from the outside. Ken gave me the key so I could lock it from the inside if I wanted to. "So your digimon will feel safer," he explained. "I can tell he is uneasy." Veemon still hadn't said a word, and wasn't likely to while the Digimon Kaizer was still within earshot.

"Thanks," I said meekly, "for everything."

"Of course," the Kaizer said with a nod. "Goodnight, Daisuke. Pleasant dreams." And having thus excused himself, he disappeared into the darkness down the hall.

I felt abandoned. Ken had made no indication that what had happened the other day in the farmhouse had occurred at all...made no mention of his email. And I certainly wasn't going to bring it up first.

I wanted him to say something...I like him...I can't figure out why I like him...but I do...

I closed the door and turned to Veemon. "We're not dead, yet." I said, trying to sound optimistic.

Veemon proceeded to untuck all the carefully tucked blankets so that he could roll around in them easier. "He wasn't mean," he admitted, "but he wasn't exactly nice, either."

No, he wasn't. It was disappointing. The whole reason I came here was because I thought he liked me. Maybe I did walkright into a dungeon.

Hmph. Better the Kaizer's dungeon than Hikari's hell...

I kicked off my shoes, threw my shirt in the floor, and crawled into bed next to Veemon (who takes up a lot more space in the bed than Chibimon does!). Sleeping there wasn't as nice as sleeping in front of the fire could have been, but at least I was in far better company.

I woke to a gloved hand placed on my bare shoulder.

"It's morning, Daisuke. Time to wake up."

The first thoughts that crossed my mind were that it was too damn early and I had stayed up too damn late. Then I remembered where I was.

Blinking the focus back into my eyes, I rolled onto my back and looked up at the person who woke me up. He was still the Kaizer, all right, sitting on the edge of the bed wearing his Kaizer outfit and his Kaizer scowl.

"Are you going to get up, or are you going to stay in bed all day?"

Stupid Kaizer. Thinking he's royalty or something. "I'm getting up," I grumbled.

As I started to sit up, he put a hand on my chest, stopping me. "I'd prefer you stay in bed," he said with a sly grin.

My heart skipped a beat. He wants to...

Without another thought, I grabbed him by the wrist and slowly pulled him down towards me. Knowing exactly what my intentions were, he twisted around and delicately touched his lips to mine, downy soft kisses that I returned wholeheartedly. As he crawled into the bed on top of me, our lips never separating, I undid the clasp on his cape so I could wrap my arms around him.

He nuzzled my face to the side with his own, sparing only a brief moment to remove his visor then resumed kissing the underside of my jaw, then the cords of my neck to the rigid jut of my collarbone. My heart was racing, my eyes squeezed shut, and my lips parted because my breaths were forming in gasps. I felt like whimpering, but I couldn't make my throat form any sound at all.

"Are you wearing make-up, Daisuke-chan?" he whispered into my ear.

My cheeks and ears burned with embarrassment. Damn Jun!

He laughed softly and nibbled my earlobe. "I've left my mark on you," he whispered. "You're mine now."

I can live with that.

I knitted my fingers into his dark hair and he turned to kiss me again, teasing my tongue with his own. "I adore you, Daisuke," he whispered against my mouth. Then his lips moved to my shoulder. "...all of you...."

It was such a relief, to finally know someone genuinely cared about me. That someone wanted me to be around. Someone who was willing to touch me like this...

His lips met mine once more and I arched my body against his, my fingernails digging into the cloth covering his back.

I didn't want this moment to end...'cause when it did...I'd be forced to face the real Kaizer...the one that's supposed to be my enemy...

With a sigh and one last kiss, he pushed away from me and rolled off the bed, dragging his hand across my chest possessively. "As much as I would like to stay here and play with you, there is work to be done."

I sat up and pouted childishly while he put his glasses and cape back on.

"You didn't lock the room last night." It wasn't a question, but he said it like he expected an explanation.

"I didn't think I needed to."

He smiled at that. I don't know why. Maybe that had been a test, too. To see if I trusted him, or something. Or maybe I'm just being suspicious of him because I still can hardly believe he would want me around.

Thinking about the keys Ken had left with me, I was reminded that I went to bed with Veemon and forgot all about him when Ken woke me up. Poor little guy must feel like the buddy that got ditched for a girlfriend.

When the Kaizer left the room to go about whatever "work" that was so much more important than me, I checked around for my digimon. "Where'd you go?" I asked apparently nobody because he was nowhere to be found.

I put on my shirt and jacket (and found my goggles under the blanket because I hadn't taken them off the night before) and checked my D-3 to see if it was working like the Kaizer had said it should. The four dots that represented the other Chosen blinked as bright as usual, but because my own D-3 doesn't track me ('cause I'm supposed to have it in my hand, and why would you track yourself?) the screen looked the same as it ever did. Then my other jacket pocket beeped to tell me that I had just received an email.

Daisuke, where are you!? We're so sorry...please come back! We do care about you...we just didn't know how else to react...Please, please come back. -- Hikari

Didn't know how else to react? What on earth was she talking about? Not that it mattered. I didn't want to go back. The Kaizer had treated me better than they ever had. Hikari had never even given me a chance, and now it was too late for her.

I had the words "Leave Me Alone" typed into a reply message when I realized that sending a reply would be a bad idea. It would make them think I was still on speaking terms with them. Not only that, but if I just ignored them they would think something really serious had happened to me, and it'd be all their fault.

Yeah, better to just ignore them all.

Now, I gotta hunt for Veemon.

I wandered around in the dark halls, getting myself thoroughly lost, and by some stroke of luck found the room where the Kaizer had altered my digivice. Except this time it was completely lit by at least twelve of those floaty computer screens...all shining bright white with snowy scenes.

He was watching the ice forest where the other Chosen were!

The Kaizer was sitting in his chair (he probably felt like royalty on his throne) typing away on a keyboard that looked no more substantial than the screens that surrounded him. I wonder if he'd be annoyed if I asked him what he was doing?

I wonder why I'm actually thinking about the consequences of saying stupid things when I never bothered to before?

I shrugged. "Hey, Ken! What'cha doing?"

His typing didn't skip a beat. "I found the Chosen Children this morning. Now that they're confused about their missing leader, it's the perfect opportunity to attack."

I frowned. "Is that why you wanted me here?"

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Of course, I wouldn't think about that first. Why can't I say anything right!?

The Kaizer stopped typing and gave me a very offended glare over his shoulder. "Perhaps it is..." he growled.

I deserved that...If I expect him to be nice to me, I guess I shouldn't say smart-ass things to him, either.

He went back to his project. "What are you gonna do to 'em?" I asked. I felt bad being on this end of the attack, knowing that I was probably gonna let it happen. I shouldn't feel bad. They were never nice to me. I guess there's still some loyalty to them lurking around in me. Or maybe it's general compassion for my fellow human beings. Not that they deserve my compassion.

Happy to divulge his scheme, the Kaizer pointed at one of the screens. "There is a floating city some distance north of where the Chosen are having their holiday. I don't control that area, which is reason enough to send a force there. The slave digimon will certainly be attacked and fail to conquer the area."

While he was talking, I had moved to stand beside him. "What's the point of certain defeat?" I blurted. Sounded like a dumb idea to me.

"The point," he answered, irritated by my skepticism, "is that while they're wasting their time protecting an area I don't even want, another group of slaves will attack in the south," he motioned to one of those black-and-white-squares map that's supposed to be the Digital World, "destroying the gates returning to the real world. They'll be trapped there for days."

"So that you're free to take over unprotected areas," I guessed.

"Exactly," the Kaizer said. I was proud of myself. I understood what he was doing. And I knew something awfully important that the other Chosen didn't. Nyah, nyah.

"The entire Digital World's defenses go down because they can't jump from one endangered area to another," he continued. He must like the sound of his own genius.

Then he smirked as if he had just thought of something clever. "Normally, it is necessary for me to be present at the construction site because it is my Black Digivice that activates the spire." Resting his elbow on the arm of the chair, he smiled roguishly at me. "But they don't know that, of course. They won't realize that the attack was a diversion until it is far too late. I'll be free to experiment unhindered with my spirals...and you."

Color rushed into my cheeks. What was he planning on doing with me?! Was he gonna expect to do more than just make out? Isn't that a little fast?

Ken is bad. I can't believe he would even suggest something like that!

"Unless, of course, you object," he said suddenly.

I was confused. "To what?" Attacking or experimenting?

He laughed, like he knew what I was thinking, and faced his screens again. "To my attack on your former companions."

Oh, that. I frowned angrily and crossed my arms. "I don't care what you do to them." Jerks.

He nodded and pressed a key, bringing up another screen. "Harpymon," he addressed the fanged bird-woman on the screen. "Move your flock to the floating city immediately and erect a tower over the Sky Temple. Be prepared to defend the spire against the Chosen Children."

"I live only to obey you, Master," the harpymon cooed obediently. The Kaizer better not start expecting me to call him Master.

Veemon would hate all this. I still need to figure out where he went.

"Icegizamon," the Kaizer continued as he typed, and a fuzzy face replaced the harpymon. "I'm sending you the coordinates of twelve Gates near you that I want destroyed. Wait for my signal."

"You got it, boss," then the display flickered off.

After that, the other monitors powered down to be replaced by others. These showing an island in the clouds at various angles. "When the Chosen attack the site, I'll signal the icegizamon to remove the gates," Ken explained.

I sat down on the floor next to his chair, wrapping my arms around my legs and resting my chin on my knees. I didn't want to participate in Ken's plan any more than I had to. I should have felt guiltier. I know I should have. But I didn't. I didn't want to care anymore.

"Where's the restroom?" I asked, using that as an excuse to go exploring.

He leaned back in his throne and frowned down at me, as if the question was severely inappropriate.

I raised my eyebrows. "Or does someone as perfect as you not need one."

"Ha. Ha," he retorted blandly, though still with some amusement, and returned to whatever he was doing with the keyboard and the monitors. "First door across the hall to the right."

I hopped up. "Right. Got it."

I found the restroom in no time and quickly took care of business, then dared to venture further into the fortress without Ken's permission. I wasn't planning on breaking anything, after all. I just wanted to look around and find Veemon.

The first couple of rooms I came to were pretty boring. I'd open the door and look inside, but see nothing but lots and lots of dark. A quick examination of the walls just inside the room revealed no light switches. I doubted Veemon would wander into the darkness, so I would close the door and go onto the next one.

I followed the hallway until it turned to the left and was thinking that would be a good point to turn around and explore the other direction when I heard voices. I rounded the corner and found an open door that lead into a lighted room, which turned out to be a kitchen. It was unlike any kitchen I'd ever seen before. The countertop was barely as high as my knees! I felt like a giant standing in there. I shouldn't have been surprised, though; the room had been specifically designed for Wormmon. He and Veemon were both there, washing dishes.

"Hey, Vee. What's up?" I said.

"Oh!" He quickly dried off the plate he was holding, put it on the counter, and then scampered to me. "I came to visit Wormmon," he said. "I hope you're not mad. I was gonna come back."

"No, I'm not mad." I was relieved. Veemon had trusted that Ken wasn't going to hurt me.

Veemon directed my attention towards the other digimon in the room, who was watching us with sad, blue eyes. "This is Wormmon," Veemon said. "And, Wormmon, this is my partner, Daisuke."

Wormmon bowed his head politely. "A pleasure to meet you, Daisuke. My master has said nothing but wonderful things about you. I'm happy you are finally here with him."

"Um...yeah," I stuttered dumbly. "Thanks..."

Something about Wormmon made me feel really uncomfortable. I don't know whether it was because Ken insisted on being called "master," or because Ken was treating Veemon and I with more kindness now than he had ever showed his partner digimon, who should be his most true and faithful friend. I could already tell that Wormmon would always be a symbol of the cause I was rapidly choosing to abandon.

Though I could be comforted by the fact that I had brought Veemon with me, and that Wormmon would have a friend after all.

Suddenly, a semi-transparent computer screen with Ken's face on it appeared between me and Wormmon. "Daisuke, where are you?"

Thankfully not in the bathroom, where I told him I'd be...Could these screens just pop up anywhere? If so, I wasn't going to get much privacy anymore.

"I'm in the kitchen with Veemon and Wormmon," I told him, making sure to sound a little irritated. He didn't seem to notice.

"I was hoping you'd come back to me soon. I was enjoying your company and then you left."

I smiled. It was funny how he tried to sound affectionate without sounding mushy. "Alright. I'll be back in just a second."

He nodded and the screen disappeared. I waved bye to the digimon, "Later, guys."

"Wait, wait!" Veemon protested, running back to the Kaizer's dishes. "Wait a little for us to finish this and we'll come with you." Wormmon wordlessly moved to help him.

"Um...okay." I wasn't really looking forward to having Veemon around while I let the Kaizer trick and trap the other Chosen. I had chosen to abandon them, and now I was going to have to live with it.

No, that's not true. They abandoned me. They didn't want me. I have a right to be angry and hurt.

I wish they could just be gone so I could be with Ken and not have to deal with the way they make me feel, anymore. I know I say I don't care about them or what they think; I don't want to care. But I do.

Veemon and Wormmon finished drying the dishes, and I stood, impatiently tapping my foot while they hurried to put the dishes away. Wormmon offered to cut a piece of fruit for Ken and I to share, and I yelled at him. "Forget it! Just hurry up, okay!" Both digimon gave me a hurt kind of look, and I did feel a little guilty, but the Kaizer had asked me to come back to him and I was keeping him waiting.

Finally, they were finished puttering around, and I could return to Ken. Just as before, he was sitting in his chair amidst floaty computer screens and there was nowhere except the floor for me to sit. That being the case, I choose to stand beside him, with him below me instead of above me. I wasn't his pet or anything; my place wasn't sitting submissively on the floor next to him.

I put my hand on the back of his chair and looked around to see what was going on in the digiworld around us. Icegizamon were arranged in rows like invading soldiers in a few screens. In others, harpymon were raising and balancing a control spire in the middle of what looked like a palace courtyard.

One of the harpymon turned to address Ken. "We're almost finished, Master. Shall we expect you here soon?"

"Of course," the Kaizer responded, "very soon." The harpymon turned away again, and Ken smiled cruelly. He had lied to her. He had no intention of activating that spire and every intention of sacrificing her digital life. Though I had to admit, even if she knew the truth, the enspiraled digimon would probably carry out her orders just as faithfully. But deception as much as manipulation amused Ken.

He was sitting back in his chair, biting his gloved thumb and watching the screens thoughtfully. He looked serious and determined. Had he even noticed I came in? Would he be mad if I touched him? My grip on the back of his chair tightened as I tried to control myself. I really wanted to pull him away from all this, not only so I could feel him again, but also so I wouldn't have to face being a traitor. I knew Veemon and Wormmon were behind me somewhere. From where they were, what did they see?

My pocked beeped and I got my D-Terminal out to see what the Chosen had to say.

Daisuke, were are you? Koushirou got a tip from Birdramon that the Kaizer is up to something at the floating city north of here. We could really use your help ... and we realize now that we treated you badly, considering what happened ... please come back so we can try to work things out. --- Miyako

I stuffed the D-Terminal back into my pocket. I didn't want to face them again, ever.

"Look," Ken whispered, pointing at a screen with the control spire in the foreground. He had spotted Birdramon in the distance before the harpymon had. A lump tightened in my throat. They were coming. They were headed right for a trap. From hundreds of miles away, I was going to do nothing while they were tricked and hurt. What kind of human being was I?

"Icegizamon," the Kaizer's voice startled me out of my stupor, "all units ready."

"Daisuke?" Veemon squeaked behind me. By now he could tell what was happening. I said nothing.

"Master!" a harpymon screeched suddenly. "We're being attacked!"

The Kaizer ignored her, but Veemon yelled at me again, this time wrapping himself around my leg. "Daisuke?"

Now both of my hands were clutching the Kaizer's chair, and I was standing behind it as if to put some distance between myself and truth.

"Now. Attack," the Kaizer ordered, and the icegizamon on screen scattered like ants towards their destinations. The harpymon begged for the Kaizer's attention again. "Shut up!" he demanded of her. He was busy with the important part of the attack.

To my left, there was an explosion. One of several screens that had been showing gates to the real world was now filled with smoke. That didn't hold my attention for very long. I was much more concerned with the screens that displayed the Chosen darting around on their flying digimon.

The thirty or so harpymon, desperate and unorganized without the Kaizer's leadership, were flying around randomly and shooting feather darts at the Chosen. Digmon and Iori had landed in the Sky Temple courtyard, in attempt to attack the spire on their own, and were being overpowered when Pegasusmon and Takeru came to the rescue.

I almost yelled out loud when a harpymon came up behind Pegasusmon and knocked him off balance. Both digimon and rider crashed into the ground. Hikari and Iori shouted. Another gate exploded in the screen beside me.

"Tempest Wing!" Halsemon held off the harpymon while Nefertimon landed on the ground near where Pegasusmon fell. Hikari rushed to Takeru's side. Jealousy fired within me. Takeru was hurt and Hikari had hurried wildly to rescue him. In the background, Nefertimon and Digmon felled the control spire, but even further away, more gates were being destroyed.

The screen I was watching continued to be focused on Hikari and Takeru, even though chaos was erupting around them. She had helped him onto his feet and they were both waiting for Nefertimon to come back. Ken was watching the same screen I was. He reached over his shoulder and squeezed my hand.

That almost triggered tears. I tried and tried and tried to be liked by them. I tried to be strong and helpful. I tried to be fearless and to protect them. I tried to be needed and wanted. I tried and failed and tried harder. Why wouldn't they care about me? Why? Even their pleading for me to come back in their emails isn't because of real concern; it's because of guilt, and that's not good enough.

"They don't deserve you," Ken said as he angrily turned off that screen and addressed another. "Icegizamon, report."

They don't deserve me? Does he really think that?

"All targets eliminated, boss. Awaiting you next commands."

"Hold your ground within the sectors," he ordered. "Be prepared to slow the Chosen Children if they come your way."

"Roger, boss."

The Kaizer looked over his shoulder at me, and I just sighed, avoiding eye contact. The guilt associated with being a traitor wasn't fading away. Why couldn't I stop caring about them? Why did I feel bad about leaving them? Anyone in their right mind would have left them.

The Kaizer got out of his chair and came towards me. I wanted to literally fall into his arms, for him to fix things, to protect me, to help me not care anymore. But I didn't. I didn't want to fall apart again because of them. I wasn't going to cry. I can beat them.

"I can tell what they've done to you," Ken said as he lifted my chin with his gloved hand so I'd be forced to look at him. We were close enough that I could see his eyes through his purple-tinted glasses. "They made you care about them, but they wouldn't care back."

My eyes narrowed and I pulled my chin away so that I wouldn't have to face him. "That's not true. They didn't make me do anything. They're just good people and I liked them."

"'Good people,'" Ken growled. "They're idiots. They don't even realize how selfish they are."

Looking away, as I was, I could see Veemon squatting next to Wormmon in the dim light, and was suddenly mad at myself and the Kaizer. "It's not as if you're morally superior, or something," I said to Ken, facing him again. "You're the one killing and enslaving digimon in order to take over their world."

His eyes widened and then narrowed again. After a profound silence, he said, "If they hurt me, I would hate them."

"I don't want to hate them," I whined, looking down at his shoes--grey boots with black straps. "I just want them to like me. I don't understand why they don't."

The Kaizer didn't say anything. He looked over at Veemon and tilted his head my direction, silently requesting that Veemon come and comfort me. A few seconds later, a clawed hand was holding mine. Both the digimon's and the Kaizer's expressions were completely unreadable. If they had an answer, they didn't give it.

But I had a feeling they both knew.

I must be the only one who doesn't understand...

-to be continued-