CHAPTER NINE

I woke up with a man in my bed. Well, that's what I thought at first when I opened my eyes to find that I was in someone's arms. But then the memories of last night flooded back to me...I smiled.

"Good morning, querida," Jesse said, his lips pressed to my neck. He rolled over so he was on top of me, but was careful not to put any weight down on my body and crush me. And let me tell you, it felt nice. Both of us were completely unclothed, so I could feel every curve, crevasse and muscle of him coursing through my bare skin.

I was a little sore. It had been quite a while since I'd felt something so, er, intense, and my limbs were aching from being wrapped around him all night.

But hey, I wasn't complaining.

"Good morning, Jesse," I said back to him, kissing his nose softly. I flickered another set of soft kisses in various places on his face, from his temples to his ear lobes to his jaw...I just wanted to kiss all of him...

Jesse responded by wrapping his arms around me even tighter, and much to my delight pressing his body harder against mine...ah, the morning after.

Despite my being drunk on his love, we still had a few things to discuss like, uh, how I was getting married to someone. Someone who was not him. I groaned at the thought. I did not have the energy to deal with that. Not now.

I propped myself up on the pillows behind us, and Jesse relocated as well, in order to still be beside me.

"What is it, Susannah?" Jesse asked. He must have noticed that I was troubled. Jesse only calls me by my actual name when he knows something is wrong.

I saw his eyes darken with what I can only describe as horror. "Oh, no...Susannah, you're not...you're not having regrets about what happened, are you?"

Was he kidding me?

"There's no way I regretted that," I told him with a grin.

He looked visibly relieved.

"Well, then what is it?"

I stiffened a little. "I just can't help but wonder...why did you leave in the first place then? Do you know what hell you put me through, Jesse? For six years! Six years Jesse!" That familiar feeling was coming back.

Jesse looked awe-struck.

"Susannah...I thought you wanted me to leave."

"WANTED you to leave!" I laughed bitterly. "Of course I didn't WANT you to leave!"

"You deserve better, Susannah. I could not have put you through it–through this, what we are doing right now. You cannot love a ghost. No matter how much I love you, and believe me querida, I do, I could never give you all the things you deserve like a wedding or a home, or bring you babies."

This hitme like a load of cinderblocks would if they fell on my heart. That was it? Jesse DID love me. He loved me all along. he didn't leave because he stopped loving me, but because he loved me. It killed me that he thought he wasn't enough for me.

"You're all I ever needed," I said, my voice scarcely above a whisper.

"But Slater said–"

I didn't have to ask what Slater said. Because I already knew. How could I have not known? How could I have been so clueless? Was there EVER a time Paul Slater wasn't behind something?

Okay, NOW I was mad. More than mad. I was furious. Paul Slater did it once again. he took away the one thing that made me happy. The one thing that I ever loved. Except this time, he succeeded.

I got up out of the bed and began the room, as I always did when I was frustrated. I must have looked like a woman, walking back and forth my bedroom with no clothes on. But can you really blame me? I just found out that Paul Slater of all people had caused me all this pain for so long. And all this time I had blamed Jesse.

I stopped pacing. "What did Paul tell you?" I demanded.

Jesse, who'd been watching my rantings with an amused look on his face (after all, I was naked) said, the smile creeping off his face, "He told me that you wanted me to leave."

That was all I needed to hear. I was going to KILL him. Paul, I mean. I swear to God, if he were there with us, I would have killed him right then and there.

"Susannah, what do you plan on doing?"

Jesse can read me like that. He always can tell when I'm stirring up a plot. Usually a plot that lands my ass in the hospital, no less.

"I have a visit to pay to an old friend."

And that's exactly what I did.

It's incredible how easily I located him.

"Paul Slater? Yeah, I know where to find him. He's this mega-rich lawyer. We are talking MAJOR coinage. Everyone in the West Coast know the Almighty Paul Slater. In fact, we just published this article about his law firm last week. He won this suit and got loads of dough off this poor lady. Apparently, she was his client's finance manager or whatever, and he claimed she jipped him out of a lot of his money, which everyone knows is, you know, bull. Disgusting, if you ask me. This Slater guy has no conscience. Anyway. You can find his office at 138 Sheridan, it's only a few miles from here."

Did I mention that Cee Cee is the editor of the Carmel Pine Cone?

She was right. That's where I found him. At his office, I mean. It was this enormous building made completely of steel and glass. It had an amazing resemblance to Paul's house.

"I'm here for Paul Slater," I told a tired looking woman who appeared to be in her mid-forties.

"Third floor miss," she said, hardly looking up from her Soap Digest.

I saw him the second the elevator door opened. It's pretty hard to miss a guy like Paul Slater. I sucked in a sharp breath. Paul looked even HOTTER than he did when he did when we were teens. Except now he was all decked out in this fancy suit that fit him in all the right places. Armani, I was willing to bet.

And then he saw me.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Miss Susannah Simon? Finally decided to give into your carnal lust for me, huh?"

I snapped out of my look-how-hot-Paul-is daze and shot him a look of immense disgust.

I took a step toward him. "What thefuck were you thinking, Paul? This was low, even for you! How could you do that to me? To Jesse? What the hell is wrong with you?"

He looked taken aback. "Whoa, Suze. Chill out. Take a seat so we can discuss this like mature adults."

DISCUSS THIS LIKE MATURE ADULTS? HE RUINED THE LAST SIX YEARS OF MY LIFE AND HE WANTED TO DISCUSS THIS LIKE MATURE ADULTS? I wanted him dead.

But I obliged, the glare not leaving my face.

"Now, where were we?"

. "Don't you dare treat me like one of your stupid clients." I hissed. "You know good and well why I'm here! I want to know exactly what you said to Jesse."

"Only what he already knew," Paul said with a shrug.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Suze, Suze, Suze. Your boy Jesse knew that soon, The Light would come a-callin' and he'd have no choice but to go into it. I merely helped him realize that."

"He said that you told him that I wanted him to leave!" I cried.

"Ah, that. Suze, you gotta know, I only did it for you. Didn't you ever consider that there might be something better out there for you than screwing some guy who died a century and a half ago? He was only holding you back. You deserved–you deserve–a better life. I only did it because I wanted what was best for you."

"That's bull, Paul! This was just another one of your attempts to lure me to the dark side, making me believe that Jesse betrayed me. That's just sick. Will you ever get it through that thick skull of yours that I never loved you and never will?"

I saw something on Paul's face that I'm pretty sure I'd never seen before and probably would never live to see again. Hurt.

"You know what, Suze? Fine. Believe what you want to believe. I'm done."

END OF CHAPTER NINE

Notes: Hope this wasn't too excruciatingly boring. To clear things up, Paul is the equivilant of Ally (from the Notebook)'s mom, who never gave her Noah's letters because she believed it was in her "best interest" So, um...yeah. PLEASE REVIEW!

Love,

Linds