Notes
Ryan held Lindsay's letter in his hand and read it for the third time.
Ryan. I am so sorry to leave like this, but I knew if I saw you it would be harder on both of us. And, I guess, maybe I was afraid you'd try to talk me into staying and living with Caleb. But my mom needed to leave Newport to get away from everything and I had to go with her. I had to. She's my mom. What else could I do?
Again, I'm sorry. I love you and when we get to Chicago I'll write to you.
Love,
Lindsay
He squeezed his fist and the paper crumpled into a tight ball. He flung it at Lindsay's door where the note had been taped then he turned and walked away.
Fuck.
What was wrong with him? How many more times would he put himself through this? Trust somebody and have more of this bullshit heaped on him?
He remembered when he had gone to Chino the day after he and Seth got back to Newport. All he wanted to do was pick his things up and see Theresa one last time, make sure she was okay – both physically and emotionally after losing the baby. When he got there Mrs. Martinez had answered the door.
"Oh, hijo," she told him. "I'm so sorry. Theresa isn't here. She went to live with our relatives in Atlanta for a while but in case you came for your things, she left you this note." She held out a folded slip of paper to Ryan.
Ryan. I'm so sorry I practically forced you to come back to Chino with me this summer. I know you were never happy here. But now you're free to go back to Newport and live with the Cohens again. I guess it was for the best that I lost the baby.
Again, I'm sorry for everything. I love you and when I get to Atlanta I'll write you.
Theresa
He stalked down the street with long angry strides, heading back to the Cohens and the sanctuary of the pool house.
What the hell was with all the women in his life leaving him notes?
He thought about the note he had found in his empty house the day Sandy took him back to Chino.
Ryan. Sorry. I can't handle things right now and I can't afford this month's rent. Me and A.J. had to split for a while.
Love you and when we get wherever we're going I'll write.
Mom
Ryan's eyes felt hot and burning, he rubbed the heels of his hands into them and willed the painful throbbing in his temples to stop.
What the fuck was wrong with him?
He looked up, surprised to see that he was already at the turnoff for the Cohens drive. He walked up the driveway to the house and through the front door. The house was silent. Nobody was home.
He wandered through to the kitchen and went to the fridge to get something to drink. His mouth felt so dry.
He saw a note with his name on it on the table. He picked it up, slowly opened it and read:
Ryan, I'm sorry. Sandy and I won't be home for dinner tonight but there are microwave dinners or leftover lasagna in the fridge or you can order takeout. We'll probably be home pretty late.
Sorry I didn't see you today but I'll be around all day tomorrow and we'll catch up then. Love you.
Kirsten
Ryan read the note six times then he folded it carefully and put it in the breast pocket of his shirt.
End