In Another's Arms
YK2
Dislaimer: I own nada!
Part I: Valentine
I hope that you're still there, because I don't know what I'll do if you're gone. What if you've already left? What if you're tired of waiting? I swear that I'm sorry, but I've only just realized what I truly wanted. What will I do if you have kids? A family? Will I merely tell you how I feel, then leave? But your eyes held so much love the last time we spoke. Did you marry that person you loved? Or was that person actually me?
I'm sorry that I caused you to hurt, Yuffie, but I've come to my senses now. Please, don't tell me that I'm too late. Please, tell me that you're not in love with someone else. Tell me that you still love me, that you've been waiting for me. I honestly do not know what will come of me if you tell me what I don't want to hear. What I dread.
I remember you telling me that you loved me, that you'd wait there for me, that you'd be there if I needed you. You were so young, only sixteen, that I told you you were foolish. "You're an ignorant sixteen-year-old," I said. The tears that streaked down your face glimmered beautifully in the pale moonlight. You didn't talk to me for weeks.
Those weeks hurt me, they nearly killed me. I started having nightmares again and the demons took over more often than before. You looked the other way when I spared a glance, Tifa began to suspect smething amiss. She cornered me and asked me what was going on. I, being my normal stoic self, replied that I had no clue as to what she was implying. But I could hear your cries that night as you sobbed into your pillow. Tents are so thin, you know.
I want you to see how much that I have learned, Yuffie. I want to show you the new me. I'm completely different, I swear that I am. I'm still the tall gunman that I have been since I was young, but I have learned to love, learned to forgive myself for sins that I have not commited. I never loved Lucrecia, now I know. I loved you, and still do, if only you'll still have me.
Maybe your father made you marry, though. What would I do then? It would not only be a personal offense to your husband if I told you how I felt, but a federal offense since your marriage was arranged. I only hope that you are not alone, but alone enough to miss me. I never wanted you to feel the pain that I have endured. I merely wanted you to see that you were better off without me. Five years may have passed, but I am still the same... Only I will admit that I love you. Please, my ninja princess, be alive and healthy. Be happy and prosperous... But, most of all, please still love me.
Suicide has never been a choice for me. Why add another sin to the murders that I have committed? I will admit, however, that I have contemplated it a few times over this half-decade. Without your incessant chatter that I miss so much, without your cheery grin that held us together after Aeris's death, I have felt the true depths of depression and loneliness. I tried, once, to find you. Yuor father said that you were out and Shake offered to tell you that I asked... But I politely refused and continued my wanderings as a mercenary.
I wonder what you look like, after one-thousand, eight-hundred, twenty-five days... Surely you've allowed your hair to grow longer and started wearing more sensible clothing than those shorts and that green knit top. I remember when we were at the Great Glacier and you quite literally hopped up and down to keep warm. That night I gave you my cloak as we took first watch. You smiled at me for the first time in weeks, I could sense the forgiveness there. You had been hurt by me, I am so sorry, and you had forgiven me. Something that I will never understand is how you could have ever forgiven me. I hurt you, Yuffie, but you still grinned merrily and allowed me to speak to you once again.
Within a few weeks, I had hurt you again. This time, it was my gun that did the harm, as I had forgotten my crimson ribbon with Cloud. Those damned frogs that cast so many spells confused me and I took the first shot available... It was at you. You were wounded badly, the bullet embedding itself into your left thigh. But you never once yelled, never once showed any real signs of pain. Nanaki was forced to finish off that amphibian, then growled at me menacingly as I tried to help you.
Of course, you were fine, but I felt the bitterness toward me from the rest of them. Nanaki, Cid, and Barret were the worst. Cloud, Tifa, and Cait Sith - How I still despise that damned robot - all understood that I had merely been under a spell. The others, however, lectured me for hours while you slept at the villa in Cost del Sol. Cid was the worst, ranting on about you being like a daughter to him. Although you pissed him and Barret off regularly, I believe that they do love you like their own child. They are like your fathers, Yuffie, please never stray too far from them.
This will be hard to explain to them if you still love me. I can see the looks on their faces now. Cid will mutter something under his breath about vampyres and Barret will raise his gun, threatening me to lay a finger - or claw-like apendage - on you to receive fifty bullets to the chest. Cid might chirp in about using his prized Highwind to ditch my body on the Northern Continent after creating a Valentine shishkabob by using his Venus Gospel. I believe that they'll hate me for longer than when I was confused, Yuffie.
So, I'm nearly to Wutai, and I hope that you're still there. If you're out on your own adventure, I won't mind a bit. Maybe I will turn on my PHS for the first time in five years and call you. If Godo directs me to your house, where another adventure is, I might ask to stay a moment and play with your kids. Surely you'll have told them about all of our AVALANCHE adventures. A child would love those stories, about fighting for the sake of the world. I wonder if you'll be at the festivities this night, seeing how it has been exactly five years since we all parted ways.
Cloud had put our gil into large sacks, we all went about our lives as if the Meteor Crisis had never happened. I returned to Nibelheim, then became a mercenary. I am unsure of what everyone else did, except that I was invited to the Highwinds's marriage... I hope Cid and Shera are very happy together. I know that you went back to Wutai, because you announced that loudly before anyone else knew what to do. We dropped you off and I remained on the deck, watching as Chekov met you with a warm hug. I remember watching you as you walked into the town and we pulled away, leaving you there to wave. My heart ached and tears sprang into my eyes for the first time in my new life. I knew then, Yuffie, that there was something more there than infatuation. I knew then that I loved you.
I see the brilliant shades of red, orange, and yellow that seem to decorate your town. I pray, my ninja, that you are to be found within these gates that I am passing through. I see children running along the streets, shying away from this stoic gunman wearing such bloody colors, this early in the morning. I wonder, is that toddler there yours? No, another woman has scooped him up and ushered him away from this deadly man. Another woman has recognized me from the pictures of AVALANCHE, for she greets me warmly, telling her son my name. He repeats it loudly and I am forced to smile, the high collar of my cloak hiding it from view.
The Pagoda is straight ahead, your father's palace is to my right. I will go to the palace first, and hope that you are there. What else shall I do if you re not here? I suppose that my life has never been planned out, Yuffie, so I will go along with whatever I decide to do.
Part II: Turk
Damn, I feel great today. You're only across town, I'm going to get to see you tonight... Jesus, I must've gone soft since the Meteor Crisis. When I saw you in Junon that day, three years ago, I only meant to hassel you. Instead, we got to talking about shit that we had in common. Hell, before I knew it, you had given me your number and were gone! You went back to Wutai and I was alone once again. My only friends are married and live in Kalm, finally settled down with each other, accepting the fact that I'm not one to hang out with them at their country club. But you... You're different.
Yuffie Kisaragi, you made me see how fun life can be! You showed me the finer points of life, finer than just the booze and sex. You showed me the beautiful sunsets, the awesome sunrises, the perfect star-lit skies of the country side. When I called you, you honestly sounded surprised to hear me. We set a time to go out, then met up at the Turtle's Paradise for lunch. After that... It's all a colorful blur.
We've been together for three wonderful years, Yuffie, and I think that I'm in love with you. You're the only woman to refuse me... Numerous times, I might add. Something about that makes me more attracted to you. I know that you've been burnt by someone, I know that you have your secrets, and I have mine, I know that your father hates me... But maybe we're meant to be together.
Of course, I'll never voice these opinions aloud. I'm too cocky to do that. Hell, I'll be the first to admit to anyone and everyone that I'm a prick. But you're the one to deal with me. You even made me quit smoking for Christ's sakes! You renewed my faith in my religion, you completely changed me, you managed to melt the barrier that I had put up so long ago to protect myself. What's a guy to do, a guy with so many sins on his rap sheet, when one girl can make him stand on his head and say the Wutaian alphabet backwards - of which I've never known forwards.
I've witnessed men being slaughtered by my best friend's gun, I've help slaughter those men, yet you're still willing to love me? To kiss me? To touch me? It takes one hell of a man to owe up to his sins... But it takes a wonderful woman to love that man. Are you the one for me?
We've spent nights atop Da Chao watching the stars, then waking the next morning curled up together. I've spent nights at your house when I was too drunk to make my way back to the small apartment I started renting two years ago. You helped me find work, I helped you rebel. You helped me learn to love, I helped you to be able to hold your liquor.
The first time you'd ever gotten drunk was hillarious, I'll admit. You came over while I was drinking one night... And I made the mistake of offering you a beer. How the hell should I have known that you'd never been drunk before? After three beers and a Tequila Sunrise, you were toasted. I wasn't drunk, it takes a hell of a lot of booze to get me drunk, so I made you stay awake until you sobered up. We walked around the town all night. You revealed secrets that you shouldn't have and forgot about them the next day. You told me that you'd loved a guy once, but he'd turned you away. You told me that you weren't sure if you loved him still, but you knew that you loved me.
Heh... So, I'm going to walk into town here in a little bit to grab a fresh bouquet of flowers. After all, tonight's the festival. It's been five years since that sick bastard was beat... And by you, none-the-less. My doll baby, you have to be the most respected woman in the world. That bar maid, Tifa... She'll never get the respect that you'll get. She's vanished from the public's eye, but you... you will be the Lady of Wutai one of these days. You'll be the most beautiful Lady of Wutai that they've ever seen.
Which brings me to the only reason I might ever be depressed. Your arranged marriage... To whom, might I ask? Is there really such a custom? What if the man dies? I am a trained killer, you know. I can make such things happen if you want me to. I'll do anything for you, Yuffie, and you know that. I think that I love you, even thoguh I wasn't sure that I was capable of loving until just recently.
It's funny, isn't it? How life can switch things around on you so quickly... I used to think that you were just some bratty princess who thought she was a ninja because she helped kick my ass. Yeah, you were just the chick with the legs a couple years ago, babe. Now... Heh... Now, you're everything to me. I live for you, breathe for you. I'd die for you, walk the line for you, lie for you... Did I just use a corny song lyric line? I just hope that you know that, Yuffie. Just because you thought that you loved that other man - whomever he may be - doesn't mean that you really did. You're my reason, Yuffie, and I love you.
I'm heading out the door, now, into the brightly colored town to buy you a bouquet. I think that I'll surprise you later on. A woman looks at me strangely, but does not say anything as I continue on. The kid, though, is babbling about Valentine... Where have I heard that name before?
Part III: Princess
Every morning that I wake up, I see two pictures on my night stand. One is of AVALANCHE, the other of my boyfriend and me at last year's Meteor Festival. One picture pains me, because his glowing red orbs are looking at me, the other brightens my dark mood because we're both so happy. I'm not sure if I loved Vincent, but I know that I love Reno. Everything that he does either drives me insane or seems so cute that I have to kiss him for it. Love... That's something that I thought I'd never feel.
At age sixteen, you feel like the world is a playground. It's big and scary, but bright and beautiful. I went out to play on that playground and got teamed up with AVALANCHE. Granted, it was for their materia, but I still got to help save the world! General Sephiroth wasn't a misunderstood man from a broken home... He wasn't conceived in love... He was merely an experiment. Lucrecia was rid of Vincent before she was pregnant with the silver-haired lab rat... Hojo was the father, which probably explained a lot of the general's mental issues. The MAKO definitely didn't help.
Which brings me to Mister Vincent Valentine... I tell myself every day that I love Reno, not Vincent. But even though I love Reno, I feel that sinking pain in my heart whenever someone mentions "gothic" or "vampyre". Is it possible to love more than one person? Do I actually love Vincent Valentine too? No, I can't... Besides, he's probably back in that damn coffin again. But sometimes I wonder...
With a sigh, I'll get out of bed, pull on my jeans and tee-shirt, then my boots. I am going to meet Reno tongiht at the festival. Hard to believe that five years have passed already... I kinda miss all my old friends. Maybe I'll call Teef tonight. Maybe I'll just hang with Reno. I'm taking things as they come and, so far, everything's going well.
TBC...
YK2: I hope you all like this... It's still in progress, though. No dedications this time, I'm afraid. Review!