Who gets the honor of marrying the Princess? Certainly not a pirate! Yoo hoo ho, looks like the Princess manage to get herself captured but much to the pirates' grief, she will not return to her home without a fight. Bleeding ears, what is a dog pirate to do but to bring her along? Inuyasha/Kagome

Prince, Well, Not So Charming

Chapter I: Princess Un-Plain

She rolled her eyes, panning her chair back, while she watched the argument unfold. It was going to be one of those nights, one of those slow, drawn out nights that seemed to last forever.

"I love her." The boasting blonde haired clown yelled.

"No, I LOVE her." And her favorite, the one she liked to call the Dashing Knight. Jesus, where did all these morons come from and how in the hell did they manage to find her. Her castle wasn't even on the map and it's in the sky because she wouldn't be a suitable princess if her castle wasn't in the sky.

It wasn't something she wasn't used to. In fact, it was all she knew. All she knew was that men were supposed to be fighting over her, men were supposed to be fawning over her and lying over her doing all this stuff for her. Since the day she came of age, which was three years ago, men done nothing but cause useless fights around the kingdom. Kagome let out a bored sigh, dripping her hand into the carpet while her arms hang loosely around the silk sofa.

"No, I will get to marry the most beautiful princess in all the land."

That's what they called her, 'the most beautiful princess in all the land.' She honestly didn't know what they saw in her. In her opinion, she thought all the men were blind. She saw herself in the mirror and not once have the phrase 'the most beautiful princess in all the land' entered her mind, in fact, if she had to think about herself, she wouldn't because she felt she was that plain looking.

Once she spoke her thoughts out loud, about not thinking she was so beautiful and all that stuff and these ridiculous men broke out into fights trying to prove to her why she was so beautiful and the stupid thing about it was that they were fighting because they agreed with each other. She couldn't even comprehend what was the point of fighting over her when it only made her dislike them even more.

Her mother tried to warn her a long time back that when Kagome became at least the age of fifteen, men would slave to their deaths to have her hand upon their arm. If only she listened. Now her mother was forever in her 'grandmother' mood and insisted that Kagome get married soon. If men were going to fight over her like they were fighting over her now then she rather die.

"Your Highness, tell that blubbering fool that you love me and want to marry me?"

"No, Your Highness, you tell him that you want to be with me and only me and you will come with me!"

She hated when they turned to her. It was always the part she dreaded most because that was when she usually called in one her most trusted servants to throw them out. It was a pity but it was for her own safety. Last time, some fool tried to carry her off and take her to his home land. Kagome began pondering, whatever happened to him anyway?

"Raidon!" Kagome called, while turning to the men, "I'll answer you in just one moment. Raidon! Somebody please get me Raidon!"

Within moments, Raidon, her personal bodyguard ran into the room, rushing to her side, standing tall and elegantly as if he did not belittle himself and ran. Kagome smiled at the young men before nodding her heads towards the men. The men looked anxiously at Kagome, each sending looks of pure smug hatred between each other. She really hated this part while her older sister Kikyou would die to have men wait on her and feed up her ego, Kagome would rather all the men would just disappear or just leave her the hell alone. The men looked so pathetic pleading over her-her of all people.

"Well—"

"Well, umm," Kagome continued on as she sent a pleading look to her bodyguard, who just ignored her look and continued looking gravely at the young men, "Raidon, I know you're enjoying this!"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Your Highness."

Kagome looked deadpan, "Oh, you do. You do. This is pathetic!" Kagome threw her hands up, "What's so great about me anyway? Why do you want to marry me? I am not the prettiest princess in the whole entire world, don't you know there are other princesses, you know, other princesses who are smart, who are witty and beaut—"

"No, no, no, princess!" The blubbering blonde interrupted, "You are the most beautiful princesses in all the land, world even! I searched the world to find someone as beautiful as thee but nobody, nobody compares to your kindness, your elegant clumsiness--"

Elegant clumsiness? Well that's a first. Kagome thought nodded her head as if she was probed in thought.

"Your poise, your smile, your eyes, oh lord, if you would let me, I would drown in your eyes."

"Her smile, her eyes? You fool, you're missing the whole point of Kagome's beauty! Not only is she beautiful on the outside, she's beautiful on the inside! She's so kind—"

"I already said that!" The blonde snapped, pushing the dashing knight away, "Kagome, didn't you hear me? I said it first! Tell him I said it first."

"Tell him, I said it first."

"That's it!" Kagome snapped, "Get out and if you're wondering about my answer then I'd tell you when this castle topples from the damn sky!"

Raidon began pushing the men out before the blonde turned around, "So, that means soon right?"

"Get out." Kagome said lowly as the door slammed behind them.

Kagome flopped to her bed, closing her eyes, in painful disgust. She honestly thought they were different. They sure listened longer than the others have. Maybe they were getting better, Kagome thought before she heard a unique distinct wail, "I Love you, Kagome!"

Or maybe not.

Not too far from the Kingdom, on the open sea

Inuyasha was having an equally lousy day. No, he wasn't fending off knights from marrying him because frankly no princes wanted to marry a pirate… or a male. No, it was worse than that, he was suffering from a hangover. The worst he had, well, since yesterday morning, he think.

"Cap'n Slawgans, sir, um… we have a problem."

"Talk to me when I'm sober, laddie." Inuyasha replied, not even bothering to look up from the beer stained wooden table that his head was lying on.

"You're never sober, Cap'n."

"'Fuck you say?" His yellow eyes focused upon a looming black haired man, who instantly looked frightened and began quivering.

"I don't know what I said." The man spat out, "I'm not in my right mind. I say things that I don't mean. My momma's a bitch, see, I didn't mean that. I'm harmless and completely out of my mind."

"You better be." Inuyasha said suspiciously, slumping more comfortably onto the table, "Now, go, I need to get rest up and sober myself up. You know, last night, well last night was great."

"Wasn't it, Cap'n Slawgans? I threw it myself. I was quite proud of myself and everybody—"

"Shaddup! I didn't ask you to talk and to tell me about how you feel. Be a man and get the fuck out of my face."

The man yelped before disappearing behind one of the ship's many doors.

"Pussy." He muttered to himself, "Finally, some peace and fucking quiet."

Inuyasha shut his eyes, trying to spew up his dream of four lesbian twins trying to seduce him. A slopping grin appeared on his face once he imagined the faces of the four beautiful lesbians. Well they couldn't be lesbians if they wanted to seduce him. Hell, they could, Inuyasha thought, he was so damn irresistible that he turn lesbians straight.

"That good, huh?"

A fluffy ear perked up, twitching before flatting to Inuyasha's head, "Whadduya want, monk?"

"Our men are complaining about the lack of female entertainment."

"Well, get some female entertainment, piss off Miroku, I'm sleeping off Vodka shots okay."

"…Inuyasha, it's not that simple. You see, there is no female entertainment left on the ship. They were killed from the last raid."

Inuyasha blinked, "…SHIT!"

"I know." Miroku sighed, "They are getting pretty wind up, all refusing to continue on your never-ending quest to finding the Jewel and such unless you get them some entertainment."

Sigh, "Fine. We'll steer towards that one town. I heard they have some pretty ladies down there, especially in the Kingdom."

"…Oh yeah. Have you heard about the Princess? Supposedly she's a knockout."

"They say that about all princesses," Inuyasha grouched, "And usually, they aren't knockouts. They are hideous men clothed in women's clothing."

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard—" 'I kno-' Miroku continued on, "Men can't fit in women's clothing. It's just not done."

Inuyasha pondered that thought before sitting up, "Shudup!"