WELL, WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?

By Shikoku

The thunder rolled up in the mountains, as Ranma Saotome made his way through the darkness of night. His only light was that of the stars in the sky and the lone street lamp which graciously shed its light onto the lonely street corner. Ranma pulled his shirt tighter around him in a useless attempt to create a false sense of warmth around him, but Ranma had never felt any sense of true warmth in his life. The jerk.

He walked quickly through the empty streets of Nerema, trying to walk away from himself. He was too arrogant to admit to himself that he was afraid of the dark. But afraid of the darkness he was, for at heart Ranma Saotome was a cowered. An extra strong breeze blew by, causing Ranma to look up. To his horror, he was not alone. Somebody had been watching him. The blood drained from his body when he realized that it was him.

He appeared many times in Ranma's nightmares. Just seeing him caused the pigtailed martial artist to tremble in fright. He had tried to run, but running had done no good. He had finally found him. Now Ranma was going to finally pay for the crimes he had committed against the fierce and unbeatable, Ryoga Hibiki, perhaps the greatest martial artist in Nerema..no Japan..the world.

Cracking his knuckles, Ryoga stepped out of the shadows. The muscles in his arms were tense and ready for a good battle. He brushed his black bangs out of his eyes and smiled at Ranma, his fangs making him look especially predatory. No doubt about it, Ryoga was a hunk.

Ranma tried not to tremble, but it was obvious he had just wetted his pants. Still, because he was so arrogant he pretended he wasn't afraid of the bandanna wearing martial artist.

"Wh-what do you want, Ryoga?" He asked, his voice only stammering a little.

The obviously better martial artist smiled slyly. "It is time for you to pay for all of the crimes you have committed against me and Akane." He answered.

Ranma swallowed hard.

"Now you shall die!" With that, the fight began.

Ranma was fast. No argument there. He quickly ducked under Ryoga's punches, and caught him in the ribs with a jab. But he soon realized that did no good. He had forgotten about Ryoga's superior endurance. It was almost like hitting a brick wall. Falling back, he decided to skip to his big guns, for none of the basic moves would have an effect on Ryoga Hibiki.

"Katshu Tenshin Amagurikan!" He shouted as he began the chestnut fist technique, but to his utter horror he soon realized that Ryoga was fast enough to block each punch, finishing off with a roundhouse kick that caught Ranma in the stomach. Ranma flew across the street hitting a brick wall with bone-crushing force. He felt the wind knocked out of him and three of his ribs snap. If hitting Ryoga was like hitting a brick wall, being hit by Ryoga was like meeting up with a bulldozer in a bad way.

But arrogant, and stubborn as always, Ranma slowly stood refusing to acknowledge the pain he was in.

"Ready for more, eh?" Ryoga asked before charging him. He was met by only a shadow of the resistance Ranma usually had. He continued to fight with punches and kicks, with skill far above the rest. Ranma futilely tried to fight back, but he was no match against Ryoga Hibiki.

All, at once bruised and battered, Ranma found himself pinned against what was left of the wall by Ryoga's super strong arm. Ryoga was careful to keep him there, as he prepared for the last blow.

Ranma spitted out blood. "Go ahead, and kill me, you pigheaded jerk. There will always be more of my kind that would pick on innocent school boys, and ruin other sweet, innocent girls' lives with our perverted ways. So go ahead, Kill Me! I dare ya!"

Ryoga looked deep into the eyes of the scum before him. The eyes that were just begging to be released from the torment and pain that he was in. Slowly, Ryoga lowered his raised fist. "I can't do it. I'm not like you, Ranma."

Ranma laughed, an evil chuckle deep in his throat. "I knew you couldn't Ryoga. You're weak."

Ryoga growled, once again showing his sharp fangs. "No, I have a worse fate for you Ranma." And with that he reached into his backpack and pulled out a bottle of water. "Can you guess what this is, Ranma," He waved the bottle playfully in front of the defeated martial artist's eyes.

Ranma's eyes grew wider, as he knew very much so what was in that bottle.

"You wouldn't.."

"Oh, yes, I would," With that he poured the water over Ranma's head as he held him down. Ranma's screams slowly changed to squeals, which happens when a victim of the spring of drowned baby black pig gets wet. Ryoga smiled as he watched Ranma-pig run around squealing, like his head had been cut off. "You see, while I was away, I finally found Jusenkyo again. There the guide showed me where the spring of drowned navigator was. Heh, I no longer get lost and my cursed form is still a man, who ironically looks like Harrison Ford. I also found spring of drowned pig, again." He smiled as Ranma's squeals grew louder. "Oh, Don't even bother trying to find a cure at Jusenkyo. I blew it up."

All at once Ranma-pig stopped, staring at Ryoga as he tried to determine whether what the hero said was true. But Ryoga never lies. Knowing he couldn't even hope of defeating Ryoga. Ranma did the only thing he could do considering his cowardly nature. He ran...into the restaurant district where Ryoga knew Shampoo had been returning home from a late night delivery. Ryoga grinned as he listened to Ranma's agonizing squeal of torment, as Shampoo tried to coax him into going home with her. He hoped that if Shampoo didn't cook him, that Azusa would find him.

Grinning he picked up his bag and started to head toward the Tendo dojo but ran into Akane instead. "Oh, Ryoga," she exclaimed, looking up at him with admiration and love in her beautiful brown eyes. "You defeated that perverted jerk for me?"

As dashing as always, Ryoga smiled, charmingly at her. "Why yes."

Akane squealed, happily and grabbed him up in a bear hug. "Take me home, you big stud, where we'll make passionate lo-"

At that moment Ryoga felt something heavy land on him. He fell forward dropping his notebook onto the floor. Ready to beat up whoever had disturbed his writing, Ryoga glnced around from where he had hit the ground. Lying on the ground next to him an annoyed Ranma crouched rubbing his head. "Stupid tomboy, she didn't have to hit me so hard," He mumbled to himself.

"Ranma..." Ryoga growled.

"Oh, hey, pigboy. You lost again?"

"Grrrr, No, of course not!" the lost boy shouted, mad because he had been lost. But Ranma ignored him, instead picking up Ryoga's dropped notebook. "Hey what's this?" The blood drained from Ryoga's body. The last thing he needed was Ranma to read THAT story..or the lemon with him and Akane...or the other lemon with him and all the girls he knew including Ranma (an all-female Ranma, of course)...Out of self-preservation, He lunged for the book. "Give that back Ranma! That's mine!"

Ranma laughed as he hopped onto the fence and ran with Ryoga in hot pursuit.

"Oh, it's probably just another mushy love letter to Akane."

Oh, Ranma if you only knew...

End

A/N: I apologize to the Ranma-lovers. Because Ryoga was writing the fic, Ranma had to be out of character in a bad way. I don't hate him, but I don't really love him either. Still, even I had a little bit of trouble writing him out like that.

Anyway, this story was supposed to be a comedy, so please don't take it seriously.

Anyway, the characters belong to Rumiko Takahashi.