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Whispers of the Forest

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Chapter 3: Forests

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Author: Kintora

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Over mountains and valleys, I crossed dipping rivers and overgrown fields. The sky usually remained blue with a few wispy looking clouds on most days, but in this humid spring season, the moody sky was just brewing for rain. I managed to get by, foraging in the woods and setting traps for small prey. Fortunately, my wound continued to heal and my fever broke after a few days. I was even able to scrounge up some arikko, feather columbine roots, that I ground to paste, applying it under my makeshift dressings. It seemed to help ease the pain at least.

When I was well enough, I ventured into a few remote villages – passing myself off as a young boy on some pilgrimage. I would trade labor for food or supplies. I never stayed in one place very long and I made sure to leave Kiba somewhere safe and out of sight. At least, the people I met seemed less interested in a wandering orphan, and more interested in preparing for the summer harvest.

Though I didn't have to worry about forest predators in a human settlement, traveling alone was still dangerous. With all the feuding clan wars, rogue samurai were as common as regular thieves. Despite taking extra pains to hide my identity, I made it my business to stay aware at all times. There were a few times that I feared I'd been followed, but in the end, I managed to stay fairly inconspicuous while picking up some information about iron forges in the West. Travelers gossiped on the street like errant magpies, especially around the open air snack stands.

News of the rich land being cultivated stirred the greed amongst certain ambitious men, and dreamers longed to journey there to share a piece of that fortune. News of more forests being uprooted and claimed by feudal lords reached ever further east and north. I narrowed my eyes before getting up to pay for my meager meal and leave the grubby roadside establishment.

The journey was long, possibly eight moons or so had already passed, nearing the second cycle. I was running out of my second sack of rice and oats as we headed further southwest. The night was creeping in on the two of us when we finally decided to stop by a cliffside to rest. Well, Kiba just stopped in his tracks and wouldn't move when I urged him to. So I hopped off his back and gently led my friend towards the base of an old tree to wait out the night.

I ignored setting up a fire. The nights were still chilly, but we were much too close to the village for me to dare risk catching anyone's attention. I popped some oats in my mouth and shared some feed with Kiba. Afterwards, I ripped off some dried meat as well, hoping it would ease my perpetually starving stomach.

My body had grown thin from insomnia and malnutrition, but it wasn't something I could remedy easily. Though our rough travels hardened me somewhat, I couldn't help but long for a warm place to sleep and the voices of my kin. I chewed solemnly as I dwelled in my thoughts.

We were getting closer with each passing league – I could feel it in my bones. I wondered if Ashitaka heard the stories about these heinously abused forests. And if he had, I wondered if he would have avoided them or gone in search of them. Our people would have never dreamed of destroying the woods to such an extent. Such cruelty seemed so senseless. We relied on the forest to protect and provide for us, as it always had.

All those years ago, it was no wonder the wise woman perceived great evil at work in the west. To steal all the bounty of the land and not even give back to her was simply unfathomable. It hurt just to imagine land so thoroughly raped by its own people - people who should have respected and cared for her.

If these forges were truly the source of these iron abominations, I wondered if Ashitaka felt the same hatred curling in my gut. The nearly healed wound in my leg throbbed. I hadn't realized my nails were biting into my skin. Loosening my fists, I stroked Kiba's furry flank instead. Perhaps I could locate these iron forges and see them for myself.

The next fortnight, I passed through another village and managed to get some directions towards the infamous iron fortress. This Iron Town couldn't have been more than another few days of travel away, depending on which route we took. Merchant caravans had no choice but to take the road, but they were usually accompanied by hired guards. Travelers tended to travel in small groups or were skilled in some defense of sorts. As a lone wolf, I was skilled but wanted nothing more than to avoid human attention altogether. So despite the strange warnings in the village - warnings of monstrous creatures like giant boars and wolves - I didn't see the need to try the main road.

The moon rose slowly into the inky sky, casting its pale light into the forest around us. Nightlife chirped and warbled innocuously, though I kept my ears strained for any unusual disturbances. Nevertheless, Kiba and I settled down on a cool dry patch with just enough room for the two of us.

I leaned back into his warm furry hide like I did every night, rising and falling gently with his every breath. He snorted when I ruffled the wooly fur on his neck affectionately. My friend only turned his large antlered-head and nipped my hair softly, making me laugh a little, as if to remind me why I named him Kiba those many years ago.

As he turned away to sleep, I pulled the deerskin pouch out. I could see its faint outline in the pale light filtering through the trees. Possessing it felt so surreal, yet its palpable weight in my hand was enough to make me cringe. The longer we were on the road, the more it seemed like our life back in the northern mountains was merely a waking dream; a nightmare I had somehow come to accept.

I shuffled onto my side, patting Kiba's bushy shoulder. He flapped an ear at me in his sleep, but didn't wake. Nose pressed into his warm hide, I relished his heavy, familiar scent. He smelled of home and travel at the same time. I didn't need to sniff my own shoulder to know we were both long overdue for a wash in the river.

Clutching the pouch to my chest like I did every night, I finally drifted off into a light slumber.

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Dawn struck earlier than I would have liked. For once, my nightmares had not visited me in my sleep. In fact, I don't think I dreamed at all. As I erased our tracks with a fallen branch, Kiba straightened up and shook the morning dew from his coat, flinging bright water gems in every direction.

"Kiba!" I scolded, wiping my face and blinking water out of my eyes. He merely snorted shaking his head as he turned away from my accusing gaze.

After shaking the dew from my straw cloak, I sighed and scratched his jaw. All was forgiven. I could never stay peeved at him.

"You ready to find Ashitaka?" I asked aloud, my voice raspy from sleep. I asked him this every morning and received the usual light bump to my cheek from his wet, velvety nose. I grinned, already feeling better as I leapt onto his broad back.

We followed the path along the cliff and I had to stop several times to marvel at the sight. The pass gave me a clear view of the rising sun goddess, peeking shyly behind the mountains and gradually growing braver as she emerged behind them. Her light poured into the pooling shade left over from the night. However, the murky sky hinted at scattered dark clouds, pregnant with promised rain. The tired forest woke, lazily stretching its shadows the higher the sun rose. Skylarks began to sing in the distance, their songs wheeling up from the dark forest below. My eyes scanned the horizon, absorbing the grand view of morning mists rising then dissipating above the thick foliage.

Remembering my thoughts last night about finding a place to bathe, we carefully picked our way down the steep mountainside. Impenetrable white fog hid the treacherous path, but it was no match for Kiba's senses as he continued on without pause.

After an hour or two, the sun had risen but kept hiding away in the darkening clouds. I frowned at this. Kiba and I needed to find flatter ground away from the cliffs, and quickly at that. The ground was already a little loose, and a possible mudslide was the last thing we wanted to encounter. I urged Kiba into a canter.

My face twisted uncomfortably as I tried to keep from bouncing around on his back. My monthly bleeding had come two days prior and made me considerably irritable. I could hardly wait until we found a body of clean water.

Kiba slowed his gait, his head and ears perking at the sound of rushing water. I felt the cool vapor before I saw the river, even though we were still a distance from its rocky shoreline. But my elk headed farther down instead of straight towards it. I was about to guide him towards the river when I spotted what he saw. Running spring water ended in the river, but before that, it created a conveniently located reservoir.

I patted Kiba's neck appreciatively and climbed carefully back down. A cramping pain shot through my lower torso, almost costing me my balance. Sometimes the pain grew in intensity so I could feel it coming a mile away. Other times, especially after riding for so long, the cramps came suddenly without warning. It would be better in a day or two, but I tried not to think about how long that sounded at the moment. I still needed to set traps and locate some edibles to conserve our dwindling supplies. Kiba waited patiently as I took the remainder of our food from his back and set it in a small hollow below the gnarly roots of a nearby tree.

I shed my clothes as well, rolling the small pouch up in the folds next to the food to keep them as dry as possible. Kiba trotted right into the water, dipping his head in and then out before turning to see if I would follow. I pulled off my undergarments and made a face before walking into the running water to stand next to Kiba.

I washed out the blood from the cloth in my hands and wrung it out as best I could before hanging it on a low branch to dry. Then I took a deep breath and dunked my whole body into the water, head and all. My dark hair fluttered around my face, swirling around my head as I sat in a ball along the sides of the small reservoir. I could see Kiba's legs in the pristine, but shady depths.

My eyes blinked blearily in the bitingly chill water, trying to adjust to the cold temperature. I hugged myself to keep what little body heat I could and sunk deep into my thoughts. Part of me wished I could stay here in the numbing, airless abyss, embraced by its soothing silence. Here I could hide and pretend nothing existed, for out there above the surface, a world of trouble awaited me.

My mind felt heavy with indecision and doubts in the peaceful depths of the running spring. I had no home now, not unless I found a way to gain it back. Maybe it wasn't just Ashitaka's help I needed. Perhaps I needed to enlist more help, if I could acquire the allegiance of others. I fought down an incredulous snort to avoid drowning in the water.

I don't believe I've ever heard of a woman leading any coalition of warriors… Besides the wise woman, though that didn't really count as leading. It was just spiritual guidance and religious authority she wielded, but the village's male elders made and upheld every law. The men were always the strong ones who kept our village alive. Or at least, they used to. I opened my eyes.

The water began to ripple unevenly and I thought for a moment that it was because I was becoming too light-headed. But it turned out that that wasn't the case. Kiba wasn't moving either; his four fluffy orange legs were still. I looked up and saw that the uneven rippling was due to the rain pelting patterns onto the water's surface.

I stood, bursting through the surface of the water. I drew in deep breaths, my chest heaving as I threw my head back to look at the thick, gray clouds hanging low above my little sanctuary. Raindrops landed in my mouth, and I drank my fill from the pouring sky. The cool rain blurred my vision, mingling with warm tears. In that moment, I felt like I had let go of something. What that was, I wasn't entirely sure. But I wished something would fill the hole inside and take its place.

The cold rain slid down the sides of my face and neck, streaming over my bare chest. They splintered into new rivulets over the contours of my hips to meet with the spring. Sighing, I enjoyed the water's gentle fingers tracing reassuring whorls into my skin. Each liquid touch followed one path after aother in a continuous act of comfort down my pallid body.

Suddenly I straightened, all mixed feelings forgotten as I stretched out my senses. Kiba seemed to feel another presence too as he stood rigidly, sharp antlers lowered as his orange ears flattened against his head. Elks usually fled in the face of danger, but Kiba had a rather belligerent temperament which made him far less skittish than the rest of his kind.

Putting a hand against his neck, I guided him back to where our belongings were stashed. My hair plastered against my face and neck, but I didn't bother drying myself as I threw on my clothes as quickly as possible.

I dressed in record time as Kiba got out of the water cautiously. Making sure my pouch was stuffed snugly inside the layers of my clothes and that the food was secured to Kiba's side, I mounted and rode towards the river. I was hoping to cross it so whatever had been watching us would only follow at the risk of revealing itself.

Kiba went down the steep path and stumbled nervously onto the rocks beside the river. I patted his neck, hoping that would help calm him. The current seemed much swifter than before, but I didn't feel safe on this side of the bank. I don't think Kiba did either for he started to cross the river without a command from me.

Looping my arms firmly around his thick furry neck, I placed my trust in him to move cautiously. However, I was afraid that the water would be too fast, too deep and too dangerous even for him. Maybe I should have looked closer for somewhere safer to cross, but now that we were more than halfway there, I wasn't sure I could convince Kiba to backpedal.

He stumbled again, and this time we sank into the river like a rock. Panicking, Kiba swung his head and accidentally dislodged me. Crying out, my voice cut off suddenly as the greedy current tore me away from him. Choking, I struggled to surface but tumbling helplessly among the rapids, I could hardly tell which way was up or down. It was sheer luck I managed to claw my way up for air. I couldn't see Kiba when I surfaced, gasping and coughing uncontrollably. All I could hear was the torrential rain pelting down over the thrashing river and Kiba's stressful bugling in the distance.

Blinded by water, I didn't notice the slippery boulder until the current slammed me headlong into it. The side of my face crushed into the rock, as my cold hands struggled to find purchase over its slick mossy surface before another current wrenched me away. I didn't know how long I drifted in and out, unable to breathe and unable to move. Just when I couldn't even tell if I was physically there anymore, sharp pain exploded in my shoulder. I screamed again and flailed weakly, my mind wildly conjuring all sorts of nightmarish aquatic monsters with razor teeth.

"Stop moving," a deep, hostile voice snarled at me, accompanied by a low, threatening growl. My whole body rattled with it. Completely paralyzed from fear, cold, and exhaustion, I kept my body rigid as I was dragged unceremoniously from the river by something very, very strong – and bristling with power and antipathy.

My heart was pounding at a thousand leagues a minute as I breathed in and out sharply. Once it let me go, I flopped onto the cold wet ground, like a ragdoll. After a moment, I found some strength to cradle my injured shoulder, blinking the excess water from my eyes. I was dimly aware of familiar hooves trotting closer, until a guttural sound ripped through the presence of whatever was beside me. Hooves pawed in the mud and I turned to see Kiba's grayish form not too far away, his sharp antlers lowered in defiance.

"Your elk has a death wish," the same deep voice cut through the loud pattering of rain, only this time he sounded vaguely amused.

I grimaced. "No, Kiba…" I gripped my shoulder, biting back a painful moan as I shifted my weight onto it, "Get out of here…"

The unearthly sonorous voice seemed to chuckle, "Such a loyal pet. Where shall I start first? Perhaps the back leg. Or maybe his throat. It matters little. I look forward to picking apart his carcass."

"NO!" I foolishly shot to my feet. The world tilted dangerously and my vision went black for a brief second. Miraculously still standing when I came to again, I placed myself between the monster beast and my elk. Unable to distinguish specific features of the enormous, blurry white blob, I had a hard time focusing on where I thought his eyes were. "Wha… W-who are you?" My teeth chattered uncontrollably, "W-Why…?"

The face of the being moved in closer. No… it was a snout. It was a very big silver snout looking very white against the splash of gray all around us. But gods help me, I wish could unsee those huge incisors lining black gums as the creature grimaced menacingly at me. I could barely hold the gaze of those fiercely intelligent amber eyes flecked with pure gold. Only curiosity and fear kept my eyes from straying. This was not happening. I was not seeing a giant white wolf.

But the massive silver paws only affirmed what I was struggling to comprehend. He padded closer, sniffing disdainfully at my face and clothes. It was all I could do to keep from shrinking away from him in cold terror. I didn't want to offend this beast-god. After a quiet moment, he spoke again in that same unearthly voice, "You will come with me."

I shifted backwards this time, stumbling into a boulder. Trapped, I gripped its surface and glared up at him. Fear and awe be damned.

"Get on my back."

My hand automatically found the hilt of my chokuto and I found myself straightening up to my full height. Thankfully, it didn't part from me when I was in the water. Man or beast-god, I was not going to mindlessly succumb to the will of another. "Why?" I demanded through gritted teeth.

The white wolf sat before me. "Do you wish to die out here?"

My head pounded in protest, but I obstinately stared back unflinchingly, "Of course not. But I am not following you anywhere. Despite doing me a service by… dragging me out of the rapids, you threatened my friend."

I couldn't tell whether his crinkled muzzle or the curl of his black lip meant he was offended or amused. Remembering just to whom I was speaking with, I softened the edge in my voice, "Why save me? To what end? How do I know you'll not lead me to a fate worse than death on..."

But before I could say much more, my body finally gave out against my resolve. Crumpling, I struggled to keep myself upright on my hands and knees but even that failed as I sank bonelessly into the mud. Rain pattered the banks around us, as darkness crept into my field of vision.

I beat back the darkness viciously, but it was no use. The harder I tried to stay awake, the heavier my head became until I could no longer even lift my cheek from the ground. Vaguely, I felt the wolf god's teeth sink into the back of my jacket, swinging my leaden body onto his huge, sweltering back. The last thing I remembered was that his pelt reeked of wet fur, but the heat radiating off of him wasn't so unpleasant.

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The fire scorched me. An arrow pierced my leg. I was hot and cold all at once. The scene was familiar, for I dreamed of it almost every night. The village was burning, the woman was screaming, the child was crying. And eyes. Dead eyes. So many dead eyes on me.

The faces of my parents and kin spiraling into darkness. Ashitaka had his back to me, walking further and further away into the distance, leading Yakkul towards the small road that led outside of the village. He paused to turn back towards me, his face masked. As he drew the mask down under his chin, he gave me a kind smile. He turned away from me again.

I wanted to cry out, but I had no voice. Everyone was gone now. I had no home. No one to return to. Everyone had departed for places I could not go. Not yet.

'No, don't leave me. Not you too! Turn back!'

But as he kept walking away, black flames rose in his wake and scorched towards me. The heat became more intense, and sweat poured from my skin. But every time I tried to move or sit up, a weight I couldn't see pressed me down.

I seemed to have found my lips again, my eyes hot and burning, "Ani-sama, turn back!"

I was falling again though, plummeting into the ground. As I craned my neck up, I saw the wise woman's face loom into view, her sullen hollow eyes staring into mine. Her still mouth seemed to say something, but I missed it. I was too frightened to move. Her breath was soft on my face, but it was sweltering hot. So hot.

I wanted Ashitaka to come back. He always knew what to do. When he left he was only seventeen, but he always knew what to do. Wise beyond his years, people used to say. Now I was seventeen, but I could never hope to measure up to him.

"'Nii-sama…" I slurred. Squeezing my closed eyes, I groaned. Jarred out of my nightmares, I became more aware of the murmuring in the background.

"San, she's waking up." I thought I heard that voice before, but it sounded a little deeper than I remembered. I realized belatedly that it wasn't the same beast speaking, "She has very quiet nightmares. Not a single scream. A lot like him, don't you think?"

A pair of feet walked towards me. The footsteps were so quiet I might not have heard them if I wasn't lying down on some kind of fur blanket. Someone sat down beside me and felt my forehead. I had to bite down from crying out at the coldness of the touch.

"She's really burning up," I heard a woman say. Though her voice was level, something in her low tone betrayed her concern.

When I finally managed to force my eyes open, it took me a few moments to register her face. She had high cheekbones, and some kind of red painted design over them. Her hair was cropped in a style I'd never seen on any woman before. But her eyes were what caught and held my attention. The clearest, fiercest gray eyes I had ever seen - like snow and thunder all at once.

My eyes felt too heavy to keep open for long, but I fought to stay awake. Where was I? Where had that…Beast-god taken me? Who was this woman?

Where was Kiba?

I fumbled weakly at my side, half-trying to sit up and half-trying to find my weapons. I couldn't make up my mind on doing one or the other. Chest laboring, I tried to lift myself again, but the cold hand that pressed against my bare shoulder stopped me. "You shouldn't push yourself. Lay down and stay still until you get better."

"No, I need to find…" I struggled, managing to shift under the covers. I stilled very quickly. "Where are my clothes?" I asked dumbfoundedly.

"I told you so, San," I heard the familiar voice of the wolf I met at the river, "She's as obstinate as a mule." I bristled at the insult, but oddly enough, a part of me was grateful that I recognized at least one entity in the room.

San spoke impatiently, "I know. We might as well ask what she's doing here."

I knew what I was doing before. I had a mission and I couldn't just lie around like an invalid. I struggled to collect my strength. I was going to get up whether they wanted me to or not – whether my body was prepared to or not. I was going to find Kiba, and then we were leaving to find Ashitaka.

I forced myself up and had to catch myself on my elbows. Gritting my teeth, I gripped the fur blanket over my chest as I sat, catching my breath as I cast my gaze around the dim cave. My voice rasped harshly, "I thank you for your help, but I must go." I winced and felt uselessly under the cover for my little pouch, "I must have my things back."

I sensed their silent, collective gazes pressing in on me, and felt even more naked under their contemplative observation.

The familiar wolf's voice seemed far away, but I heard him clearly, "She reeks like him."

"Like Ashitaka?" San asked lightheartedly.

All of my stubborn, single-minded thoughts came to a crashing halt. With wide eyes, I stared at her, struck dumb with shock.

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