INVADER ZIM:
Starring in
SOMETHING THAT HAS TO DO WITH DAISIES
Chapter IV: Dib is OOC from the Daisies and THEN…
Disclaimer: I STILL DON'T OWN THE IZ CHARACTERS SO STOP MAKING ME TYPE IN CAPITAL LETTERS! And I also do not own know…I usually put an insane authors note here, but you know what ELSE? I'M NOT GONNA THIS TIME! HA!
Claimer: I own Clairisa and Hubert…if I decide to put them in here this time…I don't know…I might, because of the oh-so-cool person who requested me to again. And I also own the OOCness of Dib in this particular episode…chapter…thingy! Woosh!
Now we begin. Or rather…CONTINUE! CONTINUE THE INSANITY OF RAMBLIZATION AND TASTE THE RAINBOW FOR I EAT MUSKETS BY MOONLIGHT! YAY!
Creepy prologue paragraph boring thingy that sets the scene:
As I left the last chapter, we find Dib gaining more and more AND MORE intelligence by each daisy that the Irken-hating miniature paranormal investigator wonna-be (whee, so many adjectives!) consumes. Zim is all…O.O…since his plan to DESTROY his enemy has now flip-flopped into him HELPING his enemy, which is really REALLY bad for what he thinks of his reputation as Zim the Almighty, even though his failure has fit right along with his real reputation- as, well, a failure. So, thus, realizing I have put a long and boring prologue in an insane dialogue fanfiction, I shall now end this and beginning this next scene with Zim and Gir in the lab place thingy. Yay!
Zim: GIR! I need to look up more information about that Dazandra Cleopatra; there must've been something wrong with my last research on her. That would be the reason why I failed this time. It is not my fault if the information I got off this human-created earthly internet website! They were just trying to throw me off! Well, I shall find out the REAL information once and for all!
Gir: Yay!
Zim: So…you know what I need you to do?
Gir: …?
Zim: Leave and get out of my Almightiness way so I can get down to my research business!
Gir: Yes, master! Wheee! (Runs up to watch tv)
Zim in his Lab-
Zim: Research, more research (clicks a few buttons on one of his almighty Irken computer researchy thing) Back to (Didn't think they'd have in Invader Zim, did you! Well this is MY IZ fic! So HA!) (Zim finally finds more information about Dazandra Cleopatra, and doesn't tell the audience. His mouth wide open as he absorbs the weirdest thing he has ever heard of.) OH MY TALLESTS! I CAN NOT BELIEVE WHAT MY ALMIGHTY EYES HAVE READ ON MY IRKEN COMPUTER THAT NEVER LIES, OH IT NEVER LIEEESS! So this is true, huh? THIS is what EVERYTHING comes down to! Should I tell Dib? Does he know? And if he didn't know, why would I care enough to tell him! WHY AM I TALKING TO MYSELF AGAIN!
Dib: (didn't think you'd see him come in all the sudden did you?) BECAUSE I AM ABOUT TO CREATE YOUR DOOM, ALIEN BOY!
Zim: DIB! How'd you get in here! (Turns around to see Dib) Oh my GOSH! Your head! IT'S HUGE!
Dib: Well it's got to hold my big intelligent brain, Zim.
Zim: Well…OH NO! HOW MANY DAISIES HAVE YOU EATEN! YOU MUST'VE EATEN ALL THE DAISIES WITHIN A 20-MILE RADIUS TO HAVE A HEAD THAT BIG!
Dib: Well, well, well. Very, very true, my dear Irken boy. But I've got to tell you that there's no time for that. You see, discussion of Dib's head size does not fit into my schedule. No time to lose, Irken!
Zim: Oh yeah! What if you lose a whole BUNCH of time! Then your schedule would be comp-LETELY ruined!
Dib: Whatever….Now, prepare to be vaporized! (Holds out a funny looking gun doo-hickey)
Zim: VAPORIZED! HA! I would be surprised if that actually worked.
Dib: You hath underestimated the power of my brain, Zim. My new intelligence brought me new technological skills to produce such a device as to vaporize anything that is not human! THIS way, if ever my physical abilities and agility seem to fail me for such a short period of a time, allowing you to somehow get a hold of my vaporizing device, you can not use it against me, just like I have used your doom mechanism- daisies- against you! HA HA HA HA!
Zim: ….Are you done?
Dib: Not until I have stopped you ONCE AND FOR ALL!
Zim: Before you 'vaporize' me…I have some information that I do not know if you know, but you definitely do not know that I know, so either way I KNOW SOMETHING THAT YOU DON'T KNOW!
Dib: …How could you know something that I don't know when my brain is this big! I KNOW ALL!
Zim: …oh really? Do you want to bet?
Dib: I BET EVERYTHING!
Zim: …everything?
Dib: SURE! (Ha. Looks like the daisies also boosted his confidence, but just a little too much)
Zim: So…you know what happened to your….MOTHER! (Like, oh my gosh, Mary Jane! There's another IZ fic with the most famous non-existing IZ character ever! Eh, get over it)
Dib: My…my MOTHER!
Zim: Yeah, Dib-genius. Your mother.
Dib: I…my…my intelligence does not contain any facts about…my mother…
Zim: I WIN! HA HA HA!
Dib: YOU WIN! NOOOOO!
Zim: YES YES YES! And that means I get EVERYTHING!
Dib: EVERYTHING!
Zim: YES! EVERYTHING! AND YOU KNOW WHAT EVERYTHING INCLUDES!
Dib: OH WHAT DOES THAT INCLUDE!
Zim: Well…if your oh-so-intelligent brain of yours could recall the past 5 minutes, you would understand what that includes.
Dib: (Recalls in his brain) ….HOLY QUANTUM PHYSICS! I CAN NOT BELIEVE IT!
Zim: YES DIB YOU AND YOUR BRAIN BETTER BELIEVE IT! NOW HAND OVER MY VAPORIZER!
Dib: Wait. You still haven't told me what you know about my mother.
Zim: Do you –really- want to know?
Dib: YES YES I WANT TO KNOW OH SO BAD!
Zim: Hah. You have to do stuff for me first.
Dib: What?
Zim: This kind of information isn't just handed out for free, Dib-monkey.
Dib: I am not a monkey, I am a human! A regular earthly human! HOMO SAPIEN!
Zim: …Homo?
Dib: Yes. Homo Sapien.
Zim: …Homo?
Dib: Yeah…?
Zim: YOU ARE GAY!
Dib: WHAT! No, homo means 'human' in these terms, my Irken.
Zim: Oh…eh! I am not YOUR Irken! And how did you know I'm Irken! Have you tapped into my computer data base?
Dib: No, I haven't figured out how to do that yet. YET, alien. I WILL AFTER I VAPORIZE YOU!
Zim: Vaporize me, huh? With what? We made a deal, Dibby boy. Hand over the Vaporizer!
Dib: Not until you tell me about my mother!
Zim: Well…Dazandra Cleopatra…
Dib: Who?
Zim: Yes. Her name was Dazandra Cleopatra
Dib: No it wasn't! YOU FOOL! THAT IS NOT MY MOTHER!
Zim: So what was her name then HUH!
Dib: I do not know…but why would it be Dazandra Cleopatra?
Zim: Because after she had you and your sister, she LEFT! And joined a strip club, and got the nickname Dazandra Cleopatra. Then she legally changed her name to that. AND you know how she DIED!
Dib: (Gasp) She…SHE DIED!
Zim: Yes, yes.
Dib: How?
Zim: (Chuckles)
Dib: TELL ME! (Points vaporizer at Zim)
Zim: Hey that's MY vaporizer!
Dib: I don't care! Just tell me how my mother died!
Zim: Daisies.
Dib: …huh?
Zim: Yeah. Daisies.
Dib: That's impossible! Daisies make you smarter! Not deader!
Zim: Deader? I thought you were all intelligent from the daisies enough not to say 'deader'.
Dib: I don't know… (Head starts shrinking)
Zim: You DON'T KNOW!
Dib: (Gasp again) Where is my intelligence going?
Zim: The same place your mother's intelligent went! TO THE GRAVE!
Dib: Are you saying my mother ate the daisies to become intelligent and then DIED because of it?
Zim: Yup. And the only way to stop from dying is-
Dib: Is what?
Zim: Why should I tell YOU? I WANT you to die!
Dib: Ziiiim! I'll give you the vaporizer!
Zim: You were supposed to give it to me about ten minutes ago!
Dib: We have not been talking for a whole ten minutes!
Zim: Well it took the author girl MORE than 10 minutes to write this!
Dib: No it didn't!
Zim: Yes it did!
Dib: Well it's not my fault that the author girl is slow at writing stories!
Author Girl: HEY! O.o
Dib: It probably took her like a half an hour to write this, but--
Zim: How do you know? You're getting stupider and stupider by the second!
Dib: AHH! GAH! Gehh…..stuuuuuuupid… (Head shrinks more)
Zim: Hah. He's back to his old self. Now, Dibby, hand over the shiny looking vaporizer thingy, ok?
Dib: Shiny! Mine!
Zim: Come on now, if you give it to me, I'll give you some candy!
Dib: Candy! Yay! (Hands over vaporizer)
Zim: HA HA HA! I GOT THE VAPORIZER! (You know how many times I've misspelled 'vaporizer'? It's a very hard word to type!)
Dib: NOOO!
Zim: YESSS!
Dib: buuhh duhhhh deuuuughhh…..
Zim: HA HA HA I LAUGH AT YOU AND YOUR STUPIDITY!
Dib: waaaaahhhh…. (Head is all shriveled up, and small, shrinking even more)
Zim: HAAAA!
Dib: (with his last strength of intelligence) GIR GIVE ME ANTI-DIE-FROM-DAISY PILL!
Zim: Huh? How did he know we made an anti-die-from-daisy pill?
Gir: (appears from nowhere!) Okie dokie! (Hands Dib pill)
Zim: NOOO! GIR NO I DEMAND YOU NOT TO!
Dib: late…too duhh, uhhh…umm…late…
Zim: Noooo! Gir, you've ruined EVERYTHING!
Gir: Huh? Yay! (Runs off)
Zim: Gir! No, where-
Dib: (Swallows pill) (blinks, heads still small and shriveled up though) Hey I don't feel like I am going to die anymore! Ah, my head o.O
Zim: But I still have the vaporizer!
Dib: HAND IT OVER!
Zim: NEVER!
Dib: Then keep it for all I care! It will serve you no use! (Runs off)
Zim: FINE (destroys vaporizer)
Gir: (Comes back) Hellow!
Zim: GIR! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GIVE DIB THE PILL!
Gir: Aw, because he asked me so nicely…
Zim: NO HE DIDN'T! Anyway, YOU RUINED EVERYTHING!
Gir: Yay!
Zim: NO…That's a BAD thing, Gir!
Gir: Oh…Sowwy!
Zim: Oh whatever…
Back outside-
Dib: (After taking the pill, head is still small and shriveled but a bit better, just a bit, Dib is walking home)
Inside neighbors house-
Clairisa: (Looks out window and sees kid with small head, which is Dib of course, if you couldn't already figure that one out) HUBERT! LOOK!
Hubert: (Runs to window) What?
Clairisa: I saw…I saw…a boy with a TINY head! It was all shriveled up!
Hubert: What? Are you sure you took your pill this morning?
Clairisa: (Gives poor Hubert the death look)
Hubert: (Rolls his eyes and looks out the window)
Dib: (head finally gets normal size)
Hubert: (looks and sees the kid with a normal-sized head) …Honey…His head is normal size…take a look…
Clairisa: (Looks and sees normalness) O.O but…but! It was all shriveled and ugly!
Hubert: It's ok, dear. Now what was the phone number to that nice psychiatrist?
Clairisa: I…I don't know…No, I don't need Dr. Willis! He is a crazy man, that he is! He thinks I'm hallucinating! (Wow! I spelled that right on my first try!)
Hubert: But honey…you are
Clairisa: (evil look)
Hubert: I mean…Yeah, that doc, boy is he crazy…eh-heh-heh…
Well I'm ending the chapter here...I know its a sucky ending…I hope it's as good as the other chapters, but I don't know, because I haven't been able to watch Invader Zim for a very, very long time. Yes, yes, it is very sad, and I miss the IZ show…BUT NO TIME FOR PITY, I MUST RAID THE ARMADA WITH JELLOW PACKETS OF DOOOOM! Now it's time to say hi to my fellow IZ ff writer. HI ZNAK. This chapter is for YOU and your Insanity with a capital I! Hope you liked it! Oh, and hope everyone else liked it too. Yay!