Revenge, two sugars, no milk.

By Estellio

Rating: Pg-13

Pairing: McWeir, Sheyla.

Warnings: Vengeful pranks (Tee hee)

Summary: Pay back time, Sheppard style. Sequel to Truth Or Dare.

Disclaimer: I own what I own and everything that doesn't belong to me belongs to whoever owns it. Now that covers the legal stuff, onto the fic!

Major John Sheppard walked down the corridors of Atlantis like a fugitive on the run. The past week had been hell on earth…or, as it were, Atlantis. If he heard one more person singing; "You can leave your hat on." Or made some lame joke like; "Major, can you get me a cup of coffee or do you only do that in your underpants?" Then he was going to take out his gun and shoot himself.

It just wasn't funny anymore, it wasn't funny then! It was just embarrassing. They locked the briefing room and took his clothes leaving him standing half naked in the control tower, swearing before he legged it back to his quarters, red faced and freezing cold. You never really appreciated how cold a place was until you walked around it in your underpants.

Pushing those thoughts aside he quickened his pace further, he was almost at his quarters and no one had spotted him yet. Just turn left and…a loud wolf whistle cut through the air and he turned to see about seven female scientists coming down the corridor.

"We see you Major, shaking that ass, shaking that ass." He forced a smile and all but fled down the corridor, leaping into his room.

"Dammit, dammit, dammit, damn, damn, damn!" He punched his pillow hard several times but it didn't ease his tensions one bit. "I'm so sick of this. This has to stop, it has to stop now. I want my dignity back…not to mention the clothes they stole." He turned over onto his back and stared at the ceiling. Moping wasn't Sheppards style but but laughing it off hadn't helped much either in the last week.

"It was my own fault. Ford had baited me and I fell for it hook line and sinker. He and Teyla probably had it planned, yeah, they were all in on it. Right down to when Rodney walked in instead of Weir who was supposed to walk in because she was alwaysearlier than McKay…No. Now I'm just being paranoid. This wasn't planned…" A whisper of an idea ran through Sheppards mind. He smiled evilly as a plan of his own began to form. One way for everyone to forget about his embarrassing little episode was to create an even funnier one…four funnier ones to be precise. Oh they were going to pay, big time.

IOIOIO

He was staring…he knew he was staring but he didn't stop…in fact…he stared harder…and scowled a little.

"Rodney? Rodney? Are you even listening to me?" Rodney turned to face Radek Zelenka who was looking at him quizzically. "You zoned out Rodney." Rodney shrugged at the scruffy scientist sitting across the console at him.

"I was thinking. Am I not allowed do that now?" Radek raised and eyebrow but just pushed his glasses back up his nose and resumed speaking. It took McKay three seconds to completely zone out again and resume watching Weir. She was across the control room talking with Sergeant Bates. She was smiling, god she was beautiful when she smiled, god she was beautiful when she didn't smile…god she was beautiful.

Her laughter suddenly cut through the air, bubbly and light. He thought he could float away on it, it sounded so good but he found himself scowling harder at Sgt. Bates. He had never realised how much he hated the guy before now…This was stupid. He couldn't hate him just because he made her laugh….oh but he could hate him for that. Bates had pulled up his jumper to show her something on his stomach, she bent down, looking concerned and talking to Bates all the while. Bates just shrugged and pulled his jumper back down. Rodney scowled harder.

'Why doesn't she examine my tummy okay. Stupid thought. I wouldn't want her too. This is stupid jealousy, far beneath a man of my intelligence. You're still dwelling on the silly little kiss. It was just a dare. Just a dare in a stupid game because of that juvinile Ford. She doesn't feel anything for you and you don t for her Rodney. So pull yourself together, you've managed around her fine up until now. Get a grip McKay, you're not a teenager. She s your superior, even if she wanted for something to happen it couldn't. There are regs aren't there? Well for the military personnel maybe, but she s a civilian NO! THERE ARE RULES! YOU CANNOT DATE YOUR SEXY BOSS! NO! THAT S A RULE! Albeit an unwritten one but one nonetheless. Pull yourself together, pull yourself together.'

"RODNEY! PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER MAN!" He turned to face a now standing and annoyed looking Zelenka. "That is the fifth time you've done that. I called you three times and you were lost in…la la land!" He quietened his voice a bit. "Is everything alright, Rodney? Do you want to take a break?" Rodney shook his head.

"I'm just having a little trouble concentrating, that's all. You were saying something about the naquadah generators?" Zelenka's eyes widened.

"Rodney…are you sure you don't want to go see Dr. Beckett or something? I mean, have you been getting enough sleep?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I was talking to you about naquadah generators yesterday, Rodney. I'm talking about long-range sensors now. I have been all morning with very little input from you. You've been keeping to monosyllable words all day and that is when you're not just grunting or nodding." McKay shook his head tiredly.

"You know…I think I'm needed in the labs." Radek caught Rodney's wrist as he got up.

"That's it, you're coming with me." The Czech scientist pulled Rodney out of the control causing a lot of strange looks to follow them. It wasn't often that McKay went quitely anywhere.

"Zelenka, where are you taking me, Radek? Radek!" Rodney was unceremoniously pushed inside a small room and directed to a chair with some very impolite shoving.

"Sit!" Zelenka commanded.

"What am I? A dog?" Rodney snapped, sitting anyway. Looking around the room he realised this must be Radek's quarters. The place was a mess of clothes, wires and cd's. More of a nest than a room. "Hey, how come your room is so much closer to the control room than mine?" Rodney's eyes were drawn to a bright pink bra draped across a pile dvd's, so either Radek was a cross dresser or he had female company last night. Rodney grinned and looked up at the Czech who was handing him a cup of steaming coffee. He now had the most bizarre image in his head ever and it didn't even occur to him to be disturbed that images of a scantily clad Weir were replaced by a scrawny, hairy Czech in drag.

"Thanks." Rodney mumbled, still grinning too much to pry.

"Rodney, can we talk?" Radek asked dourly, pulling a chair up in front of Rodney. He straddled it, his arms resting on the back of the chair, cradling his own cup with that permenantly worried looked focused on the Canadian in front of him.

"About what, why did you drag me here?" Rodney mumbled into his cup, thoroughly unhappy at being here.

"The real question is…why did you let me drag you here?"

"What?" Radek took off his glasses and placed them on a low table near them. He rubbed his eyes wearily, ignoring Rodney completely for a few moments.

"Rodney, I have known you long enough to know that if you did not want to come then you would not have come and I also know you hate being dragged around and you hate being interrupted. For the last week you have been some sort of…ghost…of your former self."

"You were going to say wraith there, weren't you."

"Rodney! FOCUS!" You have had the attention span of a..." He struggled to find a word. "Tomato, which isn't like you. You haven't snapped at anyone at all which is in itself quite quite worrying. We're all getting worried." He paused, squinting at Rodney as if trying to gauge how far he could pursue this. "There has been talk of the L word."

"The L word?" Rodney asked, not catching on. He raised the mug to his nose and took a deep whiff of the coffee, slowly waking himself.

"Yes…the L word. A word not associated normally with Rodney McKay. You've been…dreamy…lately. You stare off into space for hours, smile at nothing, half finish thoughts and sigh. You are sighing quite a bit lately. All these are symptoms."

"Symptoms of what? Radek you are making very little sense even for you." Snapped Rodney, forgetting the coffee he had been so focused on before.

"It's quite obvious to everyone, Rodney. More so to me because I'm around you a lot."

"Get to the point, I've work to do." It took effort to keep his tone brusque, he could see where this conversation was going now and didn't like it one bit.

"Rodney, you're obviously in love with Dr. Weir." Radek sat very still for several moments after Rodney had spat his coffee on him. "That was...disgusting." The Czech said, grabbing a nearby t-shirt and wiping his face with it.

"WHAT! WHO THINKS I'M IN LOVE WITH DR. WEIR! THAT'S PREPOSTEROUS! CRAZY EVEN! WHO'S BEEN SAYING THESE THINGS! IT'S NOT TRUE! THE KISS MEANT NOTHING! NOTHING!" Rodney shouted, leaping to his feet. He paused when he realised Radek was staring at him.

"The kiss." He said slowly, as if not sure he had heard correctly. "You kissed Dr. Weir?"

"I don't have to stand here and listen to this, get out!"

"Rodney…"

"GET OUT!"

"RODNEY! GET A GRIP!" Zelenka slapped him hard across the face, Rodney was sent reeling. He lay, clinging to the wardrobe for several moments.

"You…you hit me!" He said incredulously, touching his tender cheek.

"Trust me, Rodney. You needed it. You can't keep running from your feelings. You are going to have to face up to them. Talk to her." Rodney looked up, his eyes wide.

"No, no I can't do that." He said quietly, defeated almost. "You can't ask me to do that. She's one of the only people here on Atlantis I can truly call a friend. I can't ruin that with unrequited feelings." He shook his head slowly. "We're done here, Radek, we're done." Rodney moved to leave but the door opened to reveal a young blonde woman.

"Radek I left my br…uh…hello Dr. McKay." The woman went bright red as she realised it was Rodney and not Radek who had answered the door and looked as if she believed running might be a good option.

So not a cross dresser after all. Rodney thought humorously as he walked out passed them and Zelenka let the woman in.

He made a bee-line for his personal lab, he needed some time to think, and for the redness on his cheek to die down.

"Hello Rodney." He turned to see a whistling Major Sheppard who was entirely too happy for Rodney's present mood.

"What are you so happy about?" Rodney asked moodily without slowing his pace.

"Oh the sky is blue, the sun is shining and the birds are singing in the trees. Its days like these that make you happy to be alive, eh Rodney? I mean, what can be better than pink dye, bostic and a little bit of wire, all in a bucket ready for use."

"Yeah, what?" Rodney grumbled ducking into his lab. Thankfully, the Major didn't follow and it didn't dawn on Rodney what Sheppard had said for several days.

A/N: Just a short little prologue to spike your interest, I know it's a little angsty but this is probably the only chapter that will be. You asked for a sequel, you asked for revenge and you asked for the whereabouts of Major Sheppard's clothes and I was compelled to comply. All will be revealed and just in case you didn't know, Bostic is a type of glue. It dries rock solid in a matter of minutes, add pink dye and wire into the equation and…Mwahahaha. Oh, and no, I don't think Zelenka's a cross dresser, this is just one of those weird idea's that tumbles around in my head like underpants in a tumble drier.