Disclaimer: You know already!

This was the first fanfic that I ever wrote. I decided to re-write it from the beginning because I still believe it can be refined to reach a new level of brilliance. Whenever I look at the storyline, I also get goose-pimples. It remains one of my most beloved stories.

It takes place before they fight Trigon and after Terra was frozen in carbonite.

Starfire yawns and walks out of her room to discover that the whole place is covered with weird shaped red cardboard and other decorations. Silkie promptly begins to chew on some.

"Hey Starfire! Could you tie the other end to that lamp?" calls Robin, climbing amongst the rooftops, securing streamers and a large sign.

"Certainly" she says and flies up to tie the other end.

"I really wish I could do that!" says Robin, and lowers himself to the floor by rope.

Starfire twists her lips and reads the sign. "Val-en-teens-day?"

"Valentines day Star!" calls Cyborg, with a letter concealed behind his back.

"What's that Cyborg?" asks Robin. Cyborg hesitates and tries to hide it. "Oh!" says Robin, getting the gist, "Cyborg has a Valentine sweetheart?" he says in a teasing tone.

"Val-en-tin… Violent-time…" continues Starfire.

"It's not a valentine." argues Cyborg.

"Then why's it in pink?" says Robin.

"I… I like pink!"

"You haven't been wearing that apron again have you?"

"It's none of your ear-waxy business!" calls Cyborg, blushing.

"Oh, go and send your sweet salutations you lovesick tin-man!" teases Robin and Cyborg grumbles and heads out to post his letter.

"What is Vaulentines day Robin?" asks Starfire.

"It's an earth custom Star. Sort of a… celebration for… err… um… love (He speeds that word), friendship and stuff." says Robin, not feeling that comfortable talking about it.

"Oh; a festival of friendship and for comradeship. So what are those weird shaped things in the air?"

"Hearts."

"Aahh!"

"No, no! Their just symbols of… err… love."

"You symbolise love by stereotyping your respiratory organs?"

"It's an earth custom."

"Happy Valentines Day everyone! And good riddance." says Raven, walking out with a magicians hat and carrying some boxes of magic tricks.

"This is all in aid of Valencetines day?" asks Starfire.

"Actually, we just accepted to hosting a special tour of the tower to some heart patient children" says Robin, while Raven slams down the boxes and ruthlessly unpacks. "We just want to get everything in theme."

"That is nice." replies Starfire. "But Raven does not seem to be very happy or joyous of the occasion. I would not think this Valeentins day would suit her… style."

"Love and hate, love and hate, love and hate…" mumbles Raven, putting out the equiptment with gusto.

"I managed to bribe her to performing some magic tricks for the kids." whispers Robin to Starfire, and they walk away to leave Raven to her tantrum. "I offered her the new "Decapitation" c.d., "Headless Chickens" for her to do it. It's a really hard music to come by. It's banned in several states." (The cover picture of CD makes Starfire rather sick)

…

"Ok Cyborg, just put one… foot… in front… of the other" says the biomechanical collosus, walking drearily to a large (apparently abandoned) warehouse. He sticks the note in the door and hurries behind a bush.

A large mechanical eye with a laser beam strapped on pops out and scans the area. Cyborg turns on a cloaking mechanism and watches.

"How do you expect our hideout to be secret if you have that thing popping out at everyone who walks bye?" yells Jinx as she opens the door.

"Our hideout is still secret isn't it?" calls Gizmo, and the eye retracts.

"Your utterly hopeless you dweeb!" yells Jinx and she surveys the doorway, but the letter is too high up. She closes the door.

Cyborg tiptoes out and puts the letter at eye level and rushes to the bushes again. The eye pops out and scans. Jinx pops out and slaps the eye while completely oblivious to the letter and closes the door.

"Good grief!" says Cyborg, He rushes out and sticks it at eye level on a stick and right where she can't miss it. He hides again.

The laser eye pops out, sees the letter and disintegrates it.

"Argh!" yells Cyborg in frustration.

"Now you've done it you quack!" yells Jinx, and Cyborg quickly hides again.

"Don't yell at me! It did what it was supposed to do!" yells Gizmo.

Jinx pops out and sees a little pile of ash. She destroys the eye with a wave of pink electrickery. "Don't you think the laser's a tad strong? There's hardly anything left!"

"It isn't strong, it was probably a bird or a rat or a kitten!"

"You are one sick little man!" and she slams the door.

Cyborg groans and rushes out to see the remnants of his Valentine. He gets some new pink paper and hurriedly scribbles on it.

"Now I'll have to fix my eye!" yells Gizmo and steps out to see Cyborg with his note and pen. There is an awkward silence. "Oh… you…"

Cyborg runs away as bolts and lasers, missiles and exploding chickens are sent flying at him. He didn't have time to write down Jinx's name on the note.

"Oh, well. They'll obviously know it's for her!" Cyborg thinks as he gets out of range. Then he cringes. "At least I hope so!" and makes a sick face.

However Gizmo doesn't see the letter as he closes the door (being preoccupied with trying to destroy Cyborg.) And as Cyborg ran, he doesn't notice a small bugging device planted on him by one of Gizmo's missiles.

"Who on earth was that?" calls Jinx.

"It was the Cybore! It's time to move!" says Gizmo.

"And I just got my weights in!" moans Mammoth. "Oh man!"

"Cyborg…" mutters Jinx. "If only you were a despicable and notorious criminal mastermind!" she sighs. (And the view pans to her daydreaming she had in the episode 'Deception' of Cyborg as her boyfriend… except with an added patch eye and hook for effect.)

…

Starfire looks over some piles red cardboard and ponders. "I think I'll need some more paper." she mutters, and Raven overhears.

"Sending a really big Valentine are you?" she comments.

"No, I just need enough cardboard for you, Robin, Beastboy, Cyborg, Aqualad, Mas, Menos, Speedy and Bumblebee."

"…" goes Raven.

"Valentines are only meant for special, special friends Starfire!" says Robin, popping from behind the coach. "For people you… err… really… are friends with… really good friends…" he stammers.

"Wow, you're more uncomfortable today than I Am." comments Raven with a smirk.

"Oh, so it's not really friendship, so much as… um love?" blushes Starfire, starting to see where the discussion is heading.

"Well love is just really a really good friendship isn't it, just, really gooder."

"Gooder? Man you're really stressed out!" smiles the Raven.

Robin glares at her "Don't you have a magic act to rehearse?"

"Don't you have a Valentine card to be spying at?"

"I wasn't spying!" bursts Robin, unconvincingly. "I was just… just making sure Starfire was heading the right way… In fact I'll just head off now… to my room… now, for no reason in particular." he says and starts backing towards his room.

"I'm also going to my room for no apparent reason…. also…" says Starfire and both head to their rooms and close the door. (Sound effects of scissors, sticky tape and wrapping)

"Well, if that wasn't obvious" comments Raven, and pulls out a white bunny from her hat. It attacks her. "DAMN IT! GET BACK TO CAER BANNOR WHERE YOU BELONG!"

…

Meanwhile, in the tower's east wing, large crates of belongings are stacked from the arrival of refugees…

"So you're just going to wait there?" says Bumblebee, folding her arms.

"Yep." replies Aqualad. "I'm so popular with these above water girls that I don't need to send, I get sent." and he yawns as he stretches on the couch. "No worries. By the end of today I'll be swimming in cards of love."

"You should really go soak your head!" she groans, "Well, at least your not as bad as 'cupid' over there!" and she scans over to Speedy who is firing heart tipped arrows at a poster of a badly drawn stick figure with a dress. "Suffering saints! What's got into you?"

Speedy grumbles as he sits and shoots casually. Mas and Menos roll in.

"Dumpay!" says Menos.

"Dumpee!" says Mas

"DUM-PED" (Together)

"You know, you won't get many other takers if you keep treating them like that!" Bumblebee points out.

"She didn't even give a good reason!" says Speedy sulkily. "'Your not my type' isn't exactly that informative."

"C'mon 'cupid' there's plenty more fish in the sea." says Aqualad.

"Stop calling me cupid!" says Speedy, truly annoyed." There is no way I am getting into that suit! Why not someone else?"

"Because you're the only one who can shoot a bow, without causing serious injury!" says Bumblebee, "Remember Menos?"

Mas rubs his behind and grimaces. Menos giggles and they both fight.

"It was Robin that got us into this mess, why can't their lot do the show themselves?" grumbles Speedy.

Bumblebee gives him a 'bad-eye' and glares "Because the tour is of the whole tower, because the West Titans were kind enough to give us this place since Cinderblock destroyed Titan's East, because were really just guests to this place, because performing in front of those children will be really good and it's a lot better than firing arrows at a poster of a circle attached to a triangle!"

"So? I'm just not good at drawing…" he grumbles.

(Knock, knock)

"Come in" calls Bumblebee.

"Go away" calls Speedy.

(Awkward silence)

Bee slaps Speedy on the head. "Come in!" She calls and Starfire enters. Aqualad tries to look un-suspecting.

"Hello everyone." she says and Mas and Menos roll across the floor still fighting. "I was wondering if I can borrow some gold coloured pens for no apparent reason, and especially not because I'm planning to give a Valonstein to anyone, particularly not Robin…"

(All stare at Starfire awkwardly)

"What's a Valonstein?" whispers Speedy to Bee, in which he receives another slap.

"Riiight." says Bee finally. "I think I have two. I'll just get them for you." and she heads to her room.

Silkie bounds in and follows Bee.

"Why hello there little squishy one." she says to the grub.

"I think he really likes you because you resemble a large insectoid." comments Starfire.

"He's just like a little puppy." says Bee and looks through to find two gold pens. "Here you, oops." and one drops and rolls out the door.

"That's okay Bumblebee, I'll pick it up on my way out." says Starfire.

"Hey! Wait a sec!" says Bee, and she bends down to talk to Silkie. "I just want to try this one trick. Go get the pen Silkie! The pen! Go on!"

Silkie apparently understands and goes after it.

"Okay. Thank you Bumblebee, you are a real caring K'norfka!" says Starfire.

"As long as that's a compliment, thanks!"

…

Silkie bounds after the pen, but it is knocked out of the east wing by Mas and Menos. Still determined, he sets after it.

The pen rolls and is stepped on by Raven, who is trying to juggle pies with her mind. The results are as expected…

"That's just a touch annoying" she mutters on the ground under a layer of whipped cream.

The pen goes out an open window and hits one of two squirrels on the head. The injured one thinks it was his companion and an acorn fight occurs. One acorn is sent onto the road.

It bounces on the roof of a car, then another and another as traffic flows and soon rolls off.

A fate destined car hits the acorn at such an angle it is sent flying a great distance to hit a construction worker on the head, making him misjudge his machinery, sending his wrecking ball hurtling at the warehouse Jinx, Mammoth and Gizmo are evacuating.

The force of the ball sweeps the note from Cyborg into the air. Jinx looks outside and naturally sees nothing, closing the door just as the letter floats down and the wrecking ball swings back to catch it.

An unwary pigeon flies for its life as the ball and chain swing in its direction, and manages to catch the letter in its claws, holding onto it out of sheer fright. Flying a reasonable distance it takes notice of what it picked up, tries to eat it, and then drops it in dissapointment.

The letter hits one of two badly bruised squirrels. The injured one thinks it was his companion and an acorn fight occurs, the letter is sent floating towards a gold pen, where it slides right into the lid's peg. Silkie finds the pen and carries it back to Bee.

"Very good Silkie, but you sure took your time!" says Bee and she picks the pen and the letter. "What's this? It's from Cyborg… Hmm…" and she begins to read.

…

Raven takes a break from practice and takes a good hour of meditation on her driving force. The only thing that kept her going throughout this Valentines day…

"Headless chickens, headless chickens, headless chickens…"

A lot of sound comes from Starfire's room, particularly ripping cardboard and moans.

"I hope she's not attacking the curtains again…" Raven mutters and decides to help her friend out. Raven goes in and Starfire gets a surprise and blushes as she tries to hide a whole mountain of torn up red and pink paper.

"Oh, hello friend Raven." she says, "I'm just finding all this red, um, confetti for more decorations. It's amazing how much red paper you can find if you just look!"

"Don't worry Star; your secret is safe with me." Raven assures. "If it's secret at all…" she says in her mind.

"What secret may that be?"

"You really like him don't you?"

"How can you tell?"

"Well I am psychic you know."

Starfire sighs and moans. "I never knew card assembly could be so complex! Trying to articulate everything you want to state, and remain keep the card looking as well good."

Raven sympathizes. "C'mon Star, Robin will like your Valentine even if it looks bad, heck, he'll like your Valentine even if it was a piece of red cardboard in the shape of a triangle!"

"You really think so?"

"I'm quite sure. What does it look like anyway?"

Starfire shows an odd shaped piece of red cardboard that makes Raven raise a few eyebrows.

"Um…" says Raven hesitantly, "Isn't that in the shape of a…"

"A brain." says Starfire enthusiastically. "As some say their heart goes into cardiac when in the presence of someone you l… are special to, my head spins a bit when I think of Robin. Hence I have my card in the shape of a humanoid brain out of its casing."

"Okay…" grimaces Raven.

"I even added some headless birds as they seem to be appealing to your culture. I was also thinking of decapitated…"

"I think." says Raven. "I think we need to go over your presentation!"

…

Robin is having some literary problems.

"Dearest… dear… friend… friend Starfire." he ponders and writes. "Happy… joyful… lovely… good… that's good, good valentine's day."

…

Aqualad looks around at the decorations. "You know!" he says, feeling the streamers. "This reminds me a lot of the seas! These streamers are like seaweed and those hearts are sort of like angel fish… except… with their fins cut off, and being suspended by fishing line…" he laughed nervously. "A-and the seaweed is dry… red as blood… and…(gulp) dead… … … I think I'll go to my room for a while!"

…

"Cyborg sent me a Valentine… I don't believe it!" mumbles Bee, sitting down in shock. "I mean I respect him and all that, but… Cyborg sent me a valentine? I don't believe it!"

"And why are you talking to me about this?" says Speedy, busy shooting his pencils at the arrow riddled poster.

"Because I don't think I can really tell his 'closer' friends about it, and you appear to be the only one that isn't really too obsessed with Valentines Day."

"What makes you say that?" he remarks and manages to shoot himself between the eyes as an eraser miss-fired.

"Well, that! And you won't put on that cupid outfit I made you!"

"No sane person would wear that outfit you made!"

"Menos wore it!"

"My point proven!"

"But what am I meant to do!" she moaned. "Send one to him? A valentine? What should I say? Oh dear Oh dear Oh dear!

"Oh dear?" says Speedy. "You're worse than I thought! What did the letter say anyway?"

Bee hands him the letter.

"Wow! He must really, really like you! He must have had to use spell-check five times for some of these words!"

"Yeah! He's really sweet isn't he…" sighed Bee. Speedy gives her an awkward stare. "Not that I'm interested or anything!" she spouts.

"Not assuming anything, but obviously you two have something or rather between you. I suggest you let him know you feel the same."

"What!"

"Assuming of course…"

"Of course…" (And the view pans to daydreaming not unlike Jinx's shown before. But with a scarab beetle outfit for effect.)

…

Mammoth pulls a large trunk along the ground towards the moving machine Gizmo set up, the dirt scraping the dust clouds and the trunk's case fraying on the road. Gizmo's eyes almost pop out.

"Argh you woolly knitted elephant!" he almost screams. "That's my very delicate Valentine's day chemical weapon!"

"A what?" replied Mammoth and he drops the trunk with a large thud.

"AAAAAAA!" Gizmo screams and opens the trunk, but revealing everything intact. He sighs in relief then stares at Mammoth angrily. "This chemical has hallucinating properties that took many painstaking experiments to perfect. And YOU almost unleashed it upon us! Once this baby blows, the whole city will be in total mayhem and Valentine's Day will be ruined! Hahaha! That'll show the city who's the greatest criminal mastermind!"

"What does it do?" says Jinx prodding the bomb. "Does it eat skin? Cause blindness? Aggravate BIO?"

"Oh, something much, much more cruel! Hahahahaha!"

…

Cyborg whistles happily as he cleans his junk. There's a knock on the door.

"Come in and don't touch the static chargers!" Cyborg calls.

"Helloo Cy!" says Bee in a very happy tone. "I have some honey waffles made up if you want some?" and she holds a rather large tray of steaming waffles.

"WAFFLES!" exclaims Cyborg, jumping to the occasion. "Thankyou VERY, VERY, VERY much!" and he promptly scoffs the pan.

"Why, thanks…." she smiles, then pulls an expression of shock. "You Walloping Yogi Bear! You just ate the note!"

"Note? You put a note in the waffles? What kind of an assassin are you?"

"Aren't you going to spit it out or something? It was cardboard!"

"Aha!" exclaims Cyborg triumphantly, "Ever since my stomach went haywire (episode 'Crash') I've made modifications!" and he opens up his stomach panel. "Viola, my very own; patented food sorting system! Dairy, meats, fruits and veggies, plastics, metals… and there we are… paper!"

"P-please… close up!" says Bee, not finding digesting food very awe inspiring.

"Sorry!" says Cyborg. "But didn't you see the waffles?"

"I wish I didn't! But did you see the note!"

"Just a sec." says Cyborg and he looks up as if thinking of something.

"You mean you can see what's inside your stomach just by thinking?"

"Nano technology. Pretty neat huh!"

"Very neat indeed!" says Gizmo, some several miles away, receiving from his bugging radar device. "You're not the only one that has access to nano tech! Let's see the weaknesses of that tower you call home!"

"I wonder what secret information was in that note?" wonders Mammoth.

"Probably nothing that important." says Jinx. "Bank fees, telephone bills, IOU's? Something like th…"

"A Valentine?" cries Cyborg, greatly shocked.

"A VALENTINE?" cries Jinx, greatly shocked. Mammoth and Gizmo cower in her wrath.

Bee gives Cyborg a kiss on the cybernetics on his head and walks out with a tray with bite marks. Jinx is rasping in great malice.

"GIZMO!" she bellows out.

"Y… yes maam."

"How long before that bomb is ready?"

"A… any time. But it has to be from a relatively tall building to have maximum effect an…"

"We attack the tower!" demands Jinx.

"Err… which tower?" says Mammoth dumbfounded, "There's like police on every roof for the Valentine's day parade and all."

"We attack the Teen Titan's Tower! No police! Just that rusting bucket of trash, a wasp and several undergrade superheroes!"

Gizmo almost falls off his seat. In fact he and the seat both fall over.

"Don't you remember what happened last time?" yells Gizmo. "Are you insane? And this time there is only the three of us!"

"I want every weakness that bug can find used to our advantage!" says Jinx with flame spouting, sending Gizmo into a corner. Mammoth is too slow and gets fried "I want everything we have up-on and operational for battle! THIS MEANS WAR!"

…

"They're almost here" says Raven. "The sooner their here, the sooner they'll leave."

Robin appears nervous and rather disorientated with a pink note in his hand. Starfire is happy and rather confidant.

"Any Valentines should be opened and read now before the show starts." says Robin to everyone. "Many of these kids are devoted fans, and despite their loyalty may be prone to reading information that should be confidential. Therefore…"

"They're here!" yells Menos.

Robin speed talks. "Read it now and lock it up. We won't finish probably until late so read!"

Robin quivers as he hands Starfire his card, Starfire does likewise.

"Friend Starfire, good Valentine's day. You are really good and good to have around. I am good that you're with us and that your good is very good. EoMe Robin."

"Does that say From or Love at the end?" asks Starfire.

"L… Fr… L… I can't remember…" he replies lamely, as nervous as a mouse.

Starfire is happy all the same and gives him a quick hug. "Are you going to read my letter?" she says.

"Of course." says Robin, regaining some confidence. "It… It's all in Tamarian."

"I thought about this Vaultinines day and thought that it would be best for me to express myself in my own language which I know better of to communicate what I think of you. You may be able to read it if you learn my language though, but that may take some years of…"

"I can read Tamarian!" says Cyborg.

"Y… You can!" says Starfire, very distressed and blushing.

"Sure. When we were over there I uploaded some old books and deciphered them. I haven't had much practice speaking it, but my scanner here can read it like lightning!"

"Actually Robin! I think I over stated my feelings in that Card." says Starfire, trying desperately to regain her letter "Maybe you would prefer this one!"

"Why is it in the shape of a brain?" says Robin warily, "And why are there headless chickens on the …"

"Who knows?" says Cyborg impatiently and snatches the Valentine from Robin. "Hoo-hah Star! What a way to start a love letter! I wish I had thought of that!"

Robin blushes. "Give that back Cyborg! Private and confidential! Don't you say a word!" and he pulls out a batarang.

"I don't think I should either!"

"Why? What does it say?" says Robin, changing tone.

"Just hand that to me NOW Cyborg!" says Starfire, eyes glowing and face turning red.

Cyborg however does not take this warning to seriously.

"Look at this! 'Your eyes are like…'"

He would have says like the crescent moons of Gallinaed glowing in an aura of beauty and strength, but Starfires eyes beamed like the solar flares of Vegont with the force and devastation of the Black Hole of Urktish. Consequently Cyborg is thrown through the room and into Raven who is preparing some spinning plates. Black bolts start to emit. Starfire retrieves the letter with little difficulty.

"NO HEADLESS CHICKEN IS WORTH THIS!" cries Raven and Cyborg is blasted off by her aura.

"Actually," says Robin, trying to save his main act. "It also features their number one single 'I Am Decapitated'"

Raven composes herself and picks the pieces up with her mind. The stage is put in place and the act is ready. All the time concentrating and all the while meditating on one thing, the inspiration to her charity and her only goal keeping her through all these humiliations…

"I am decapitated, I am decapitated, I am decapitated…"

Robin lets a sigh of relief and gets the letter from starfire. "I'll decipher it in time." he says and they both smile.

"'You lazy flathead'? 'I hope you get hooked'? What kind of valentines are these?" yells Aqualad reading the few valentines he received. "'You get what you reap you mud sucker'? How did they know I never sent any Valentines out?"

"The wonders of modern technology!" says Bee, leaning on a chair in front of a computer.

Mas and Menos are busy reading and dividing their mountain of cards.

"Wait! Here's one from Raven!" says Aqualad. "Good old Raven! 'Enjoy'? That's almost as heartless as the others…. Oh! That means there's something else in here!" and he opens the envelope. "What's this?"

Speedy peers over, "Calamari."

"AAAAAAAAA!"

…

The kids enter and are greeted by a good show of Starfire's starbolt display and Cyborg's electrical lights. Raven is a hit, disappearing stuff, conjuring stuff, lifting, and throwing, shrinking and exploding stuff. Robin and Speedy perform stunts with arrows and other acrobatics and the others make sure the kids don't wander off into the garage, kitchen or Raven's room which are filled with some dangerous stuff. Mas and Menos have the important job of making sure that nothing goes missing from the rooms as the tour starts.

"This is very good." smiles Starfire. Robin smiles too and gives a kid a 'Robin Mask™'. "I think this earth custom should be held universally."

Raven pulls out the white rabbit dressed in her cape.

"Yeh." says Robin. "Valentoons day is great."

They look at each other and their eyes meet, shimmering green to mysterious white, the human and the Tamarian and a huge robotic arm crashes through the wall to separate them, chaos ensures. Gizmo, in his Broken-heart-bot (In the shape of a broken heart duh!) and breaks it through the wall. Outside, Mammoth, in his own suit, starts climbing the tower, with the defence systems torn to pieces below.

Aqualad and Speedy are quick to get the kids out of the building. Mas and Menos grab two children still wandering in the rooms.

…

"Happy Valentines day everyone." says Gizmo in his loud speaker and uses his arm to sweep Starfire, Robin and Raven into a wall. His other arm tries to swat Bee but misses. Cyborg charges his sonic cannon but is hit by another robot, Jinx, arriving on the scene.

"Jinx!" exclaims Cyborg, a bit shocked.

"That's right you bucket head! You'll pay dearly for what you've done!" she yells and picks him up by his arms and flings him like a fish.

"This is NOT what I expected!" thinks Cyborg, thinking she was referring to his card.

Bee zooms in to help but is clipped badly by Mammoth and soars into a coach.

"You guys must be crazy!" yells Robin, regaining his wits. "You're taking on Titan Tower?"

"Not only taking it!" gloated Mammoth, "We're going to blow it up!" and he laughed.

"You clunk head!" remarked Gizmo. "This isn't an exploding bomb! This is a chemical releaser!"

"Chemical weapons?" says Starfire, getting worried about the kids.

"Yes! Hahaha!" says Gizmo, "A remarkable gas that causes the inhaler to misjudge and disorientate their sense of vision! Simple products of high rupture monoeth…"

"Stop monologing you twit!" yells Jinx, slapping his robot over the head. "How many times have the evil side lost because of talking too much?"

"How many bad guys have lost because the fought each other?" remarks Mammoth as a huge Sonic cannon, Starbolt and mind blast from Raven knocks them back.

"Time to call in the reinforcements." moans Gizmo and activated a receiver.

Dozens of man-sized, tin shaped robots arrive on the scene and start firing small lasers in frenzy. The Titans dive for cover. Mammoth and Gizmo prepare the bomb while Jinx keeps an eye on the battle.

"We have to disable that bomb!" says Robin as lasers start to burn the couch.

"I'd like to see you try." remarked Raven, and a vase explodes.

"The receiver is on gizmo's robot." yells Cyborg, trying to be heard over the lasers. "It's sort of a remote control! If you can disable him, you can disable the army!"

"If you haven't noticed, there are three 20-foot robots and a horde of laser beaming tin-cans." yells Robin. "I can't take on Gizmo without being fried or stepped on. I'm Robin, and don't want to be Ribbon!"

"I think I can distract some of the small bots." volunteered Starfire.

"I can help that way too." agreed Bumblebee.

"Raven, take on Mammoth, Cyborg, take out Jinx. I'll try and stop Gizmo." agreed Robin, and they went to action.

The small bots had trouble hitting airborne targets, as their build restricted such movements. Stings and bolts came hurtling down upon them, but they were sturdily built and there were many.

Cyborg couldn't charge up his sonic cannon in time, so decided to take on the robot's weakest points, but Jinx's fury made her reactions quicker and more erratic than he had expected. He was sent bumping along the ground.

Robin was held off by more small bots, so Gizmo was undisturbed. Raven did multiple blasts on Mammoth but they had little effect. Mammoth sent a lounge through the air and successfully trapped her in the toilet.

She groaned "I can't think what's worse… being stuck in a toilet during battle, or that someone didn't flush properly…"

…

Meanwhile, the kids were taken a safe distance from the battle. Aqualad rushed back, Mas and Menos overtook. Speedy was on his way when he spotted a familiar face…

('Bold and the Beautiful' music)

"Sarah?" he says.

"Oh, Speedy I'm so sorry." says a girl in a wheelchair.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought" she sniffed, "If you saw me, like this, you wouldn't think I was beautiful or as fantastic as you thought I was… I dumped you so you'd never know, and would still think that I was the same as when we met." and she sobbed.

"I wouldn't ever think that!" he says kneeling. A large explosion occurs overhead.

"But your so fast, cool and famous!" she continued. "I can't go anywhere without having to be cool as well."

"It's my fault Sarah!" he says.

"No it's not!" she says, almost falling out of her chair. "I dumped you! It was me who got this stupid disease…"

"It was my disease that caused this! My vanity, my arrogance and this mask!" he yells. Sarah stopped crying and saw he was serious. He composed himself. "No matter what happens today, or yesterday, or the days tomorrow, I will always feel the same for you."

Sarah cried then embraced him.

"Was that Speedy's girlfriend?" says Aqualad with a small tear. "The one he was firing arrows at?"

"Non." says Menos.

"Numero tres." says Mas.

…

Mammoth and Raven continue to exchange attacks. Raven hitting but doing little. The continual attack wrecking her concentration, but Mammoth's attacks being far from swift or accurate. The Tower is being torn to pieces.

Cyborg manages to get to Bee and Starfire. Robin soon joins them as he is gracefully thrown by Jinx.

"I couldn't get to Gizmo." says Robin.

"But Gizmo can get to you!" says the maniac and stepped on the rubble they were hiding behind. "These new suits I have specially designed are quite resistant to your puny weapons! Even those smaller bots have some of the same armour! We cannot lose!"

Mammoth and Jinx were just about to leap at them when Mas and Menos showed up to trip them. Aqualad and Speedy also arrived but dived for cover as the small bots fired.

"You're too late titans!" calls Jinx. "The bomb is set and ready on voice-activation."

"Kablooie!" laughs Mammoth.

"Not so fast!" yells Cyborg as he threw up his sonic cannon, but no blast came out, just noise. Everyone covered their ears.

"Activate the bomb already!" yells Jinx through her COM link.

"I can't, the sound is blocking my voice!" yells Gizmo.

Robin motions to Starfire and she understands. A Starbolt flies over the small bots and they are distracted, allowing Robin to activate the shield generator around the tower.

"Even if they do activate the bomb." says Starfire, "The blast will be confined to our force-field."

"I'd prefer it if we were outside of it." remarks Raven.

"I don't think the blast will be enough to cause too much damage." says Robin. "I mean, those three are inside as well."

"As well as inside their suits."

"Do you want your CD or not!"

Raven kept silent, and then asks. "Where is it?"

Robin looks around and sees it, just as Mammoth steps on it.

"Um. Do you really want to know?" says Robin.

"I think she knows already." says Bee as Raven began igniting in black flames.

…

By now, the elevator was completely out of order, and many areas were now open air quarters.

"Force-field huh!" laughs Gizmo. "Time to bypass your system! Hahaha!"

"As far as evil remarks are concerned, that was pretty bad." says Jinx. Mammoth nods.

"Take out the Cyborg!" yells Gizmo and Mammoth promptly kicked him away, stopping his super Sonics. Jinx kept the others in check.

The blue shield switched itself off, and then flickered back on as Aqualad stuck a broken electrical cable into a gap in Gizmo's robot.

"Have a try of our cable! Of course; we'll have to charge!" says Aqualad, gripping to the robot.

As Gizmo sat getting shocked he presses a button on his panel which sounded his voice over his speakers.

"Strawberries!" he yells aloud and the bomb detonated, sending orange smoke everywhere, but stopped by the shield.

Jinx sent Aqualad and the cable flying away. "Strawberries?" she says.

"I like strawberries." moans Gizmo.

Soon, the effects of the gas were becoming known…

Protected in their suits, the three villains watched as the others began to hallucinate.

"AAArgh!" yells Bee as she glanced at Mas and Menos (Who were busy putting out various fires). Instead of the two small Spanish kids, they appeared with heads of Green and Blue eyeballs.

"AAA" says Blueeyeball

"EEE" says Greeneye as they saw Bumblebee, now known as Cyclops.

"III" cried Starfire as she saw Raven's face, or at least, where it used to be.

"OOO" says Mammoth rubbing his hands together, thoroughly enjoying the show. Though he himself could not see what each titan looked like under the gas, the confusion was obvious.

"Eeww" says Robin as he saw Cyborg's face (Which I will not describe).

"Man! You all look like you've gone whacko! What happened?"

"Apparently" says Squidlips, "The gas has made our vision demented, warping the view of our faces, Isn't that right ape person."

"It's me…" replied Apeface

"Oh! Sorry Robin."

"Why didn't someone bring out the gas masks?" says Cyclops, rolling her one eye.

Blueeye and Greeneye held up some melted plastic.

Fishface stared at Fatso. "Hey… Speedy! Did you know that your face is…"

"I know" replied Fatso.

"But just look at that double chin…!"

"I know!"

"In fact it's a quadruple…"

"I KNOW!"

"Aren't you effected by the gas?" says Squidlips to Cyborg.

"Optional nasal entry!" he replied tapping his nose. "Sort of like a pool filter. Hey! In fact I think it is a pool filter!"

"Nooo!" yells Gizmo in dismay. "That darn force field stopped the gas from spreading all over the city, and it's dissipating already! Ohhh!"

"At least we ruined Valentine's day for the Titans though!" laughed Jinx, who was pleased with the results.

"What do you mean by that?" yells Apeface.

"Can't you see?" laughed Gizmo, "Your warped perspectives now drastically hinder your attractions to one another. Hahaha! And the concentration of the gas in the shield may make the hallucinogen permanent!" he cackled over the speaker. "Thanks to these suits and glass cockpits (which nullifies the hallucination by the way!), we appear and see normal."

"Ha!" says Cyborg. "Don't you think we'll find a cure?"

"Sorry Gear-loose! I myself have tried fusing an antidote! There IS NO CURE! Hahaha!"

"Scary faces or no scary faces," says Apeface, leaping out. "You're going down now!"

However, the small bots had other ideas and they were ducking for cover again.

"The only way to defeat those robots is through a massed air assault." says Squid lips. But Raven was still in a state of transfixed anger. "With Raven out of action, you and I will have to work 1 ½ times harder." she says to Cyclops.

"Lets go the whole way and make it 2" Cyclops agreed, and they both went to the air.

Fishface used a mirror to help reflect some lasers while Apeface, Cyborg, Fatso, Blueeye and Greeneye went for the three villains.

Cyborg managed to dodge Gizmo's swipes and cracked the casing of his cockpit, causing the last remnants of the gas to effect him.

"Nooo" cried the Fly face. "Look what you've done!" as he looked in his rear view mirror.

"Serves you right Fly!" says Apeface as he kicked him out of the seat. Cyborg finished the robot by blasting it inside out. However, the small bots continue to rampage.

"I thought you says the robots would stop!" says Apeface, stepping on Flyface.

"You fools!" laughs the fly. "That was merely an activator! They have their own programming! Hahaha!" Apeface gives him a nuggie. "Owowow!"

"Looks like we'll have to shut them down the old fashioned way!" says Cyborg and blasts his sonic-cannon.

Blueeye and Greeneye help to keep Mammoth busy, but a few small bots blast open some doors and run down to the garage.

"Get those bots you two!" yells Cyborg. "Their going for the vehicles! Don't let them trash my car!"

"Tengo ententido!" they says and zoomed down.

But the Small bots had already begun their rampage, tearing apart the R-cycle, imploding the T-sub and were just about to hit Cyborg's car when the Eyeballs went hurtling in a tornado at them, wrecking the car in the process.

A warning beep sounds from the wreck and fades…

"NOOOOOOO!" cries Cyborg.

"Ilo siento!" mumbles Greeneye

"Sorry!" mumbles Blueeye

Fatso's arrows had little effect on Jinx and he was hit by a table and almost fell out of the window. It was at that moment he saw Sarah again, their eyes met with concern, and he realised what he now must do. A sacrifice for the greater good. Getting up he ran to Fishface.

"Cover me as I get to the east wing!" says Fatso to Fishface.

"What for?" he replied, deflecting a laser into a small bot's cannon, causing it to implode.

"It's time… for the cupid suit…"

…

Mammoth leapt over to help Fly and knocked Cyborg to completely decimate a wall. Cyclops immediately went to his side. Jinx wasn't that pleased.

"Are you alright Cy?" Cyclops asked.

"Yeah I'm okay!" he says.

"NOT FOR LONG!" yells Jinx as she surrounded herself with purple energy, destroying the suit around her.

"Oh, oh!" says Cyborg.

"Look sister! Just you stay away from him!" says Cyclops, pointing her stingers.

"Why you boy stealing hornet!" she retorted, pointing her fingers.

"Shark face!"

"Cyclops!" she retorts, then pauses. "Do I really look like a shark?"

"Probably just the gas, but it could be just you!"

All was set for a major standoff.

"Good grief!" says Cyborg, pulling himself (literarily) together. "My Valentine wasn't that bad was it?"

"What are you talking about?" replied Cyclops, "It was really nice!"

"He's not talking to you! He's talking to me!" says Jinx. Then turning to Cyborg, "Don't you mean her?"

"No, no, no!" says Cyborg. "I never sent any Valentine to Bee, I sent one to you!"

Jinx blushed and Cyclops looked puzzled.

"What do you think I was trying to write when I was outside your shack!"

"It wasn't just a shack! It was our home!" says Mammoth, squeezing some eyeballs.

"You stay out of this." rasped Jinx, then looking again to Cyborg. "How do I know this isn't any cheap trick?"

"C'mon! Look, Fly! Hey Fly!" called Cyborg to Flyface.

"What is it?" moans Flyface, being pinned by Apeface.

"You saw me writing a letter didn't you?"

"Just a sec!" says Fly as he looked at his wrist communicator. "Rewind to 8:34 Am." he says and his hologram projector showed Cyborg indeed writing a Valentine outside their door. "Yep, he's right!"

"Hey! How did you get that footage?"

"There's a bug on your shoulder… oops!!!"

Cyborg wasn't that amused and squished it. A small bot explodes from a starbolt; Squidlips is having a hard time fighting while everyone else is distracted. "Earthlings really do have strange customs when in battle!" she says.

"But what about this letter?" says Cyclops holding the valentine.

"That's the one meant for Jinx!" exclaimed Cyborg.

"Give me Thaat!" says Jinx, snatching and reading. "Oooh! That's so nice Cyborg!"

"Hey!" says Apeface, "What have I told you about conversing with the evil villains?"

"C'mon King Kong!" replied Cyborg blushing, "It's valentine's day for crying out loud! How did you get this letter anyway Cyclops… I mean Bee?"

"Who cares!" Stamped Mammoth, and soon the fight began again, but with Cyclops a little embarrassed and left out, Flyface tied up, Cyborg judging how far the letter would have to travel and Jinx busy writing a reply Valentine.

Squidlips was hit by two lasers and she fell, being caught by Apeface just as the remaining 30 or so small bots fired where she would have landed. The red paper of the decorations erupting in flame.

"Talk about heartburn!" Apeface gimmicks.

Mammoth started to use a large beam of wood to pummel the Eyeballs, slam Cyclops and knock Cyborg into the ground for the rest of the fight.

"Ha! Maybe I should take up Golf after all!" Mammoth bellows.

Fishface arrives on the scene and dives to help Cyclops and the Eyeballs, while a new shadow emerged, winged, graceful and fat. Cupid had arrived. The small bots looked up and saw a new doom…

"Prepare to be love struck!" cried the fat avenger and arrows were sent showering into the turrets of his foes, One by one they exploded as the winged blimp soared around, evading their shots with comparative ease. Soon the valentine was victorious upon the mountain of trash.

"I'm never wearing this again!"

Meanwhile, Mammoth succeeded in cornering the well battered heroes and was about to strike them when there was a great cry…

"IAM DECAPITATED!" cried Headless in a fury of black and purple. They had forgotten her.

"What do you want?" says Mammoth mockingly, knowing that her blasts did little before.

"HEADLESS CHICKENS!" she screamed and a stupendous force of energy sent Mammoth's robot out into the air in several hundred pieces, followed closely by a very dazed Mammoth.

"That's my cue to leave" says Jinx, strapping on a jet pack. "See ya later!" and she flew off, leaving a Valentine for Cyborg.

Grabbing Fly and rescuing Mammoth, she soared off like an overweight fly, bobbing in the to the sunset.

"It's a good thing I'm not a skinny lightweight, or else this would be REALLY difficult!"

…

Cyborg read the letter and stored it in his chest plate as the titans says farewell to the kids.

"We're sorry that this had to happen. " says Squidlips.

"Today didn't really go as expected…" says Apeface apologizing.

"Are you kidding!" says one of the kids. "That was sooo cool!" and they all agreed and applauded and cheered. There were several cheers for Raven's act and her spectacular finale.

Headless smiled and bowed.

"Still disappointed about your Headless Chickens?" asked Fishface.

"Infuriated!" replied Headless. "But I think this is a lot better than some sick guys screaming their heads off…"

…

Back in the tower Cyborg tries frantically to search for an antidote…

"Any luck?" asks Cyclops blinking.

"Nope." says Cyborg drearily. "I'm beginning to think Gizmo was right!" he sighed.

"Don't say that! Out of anyone in the tower, I have a lot of respect for you. You're the king of cybernetics and master of electrical appliances. You're an amazing hero of…"

"If you're trying to say sorry for getting this whole Valentines thing mixed up, I'm okay with that. It's all sorted out. Besides, those were really good waffles!"

"You're pretty devastated by the smashed garage aren't you?"

"YE-E-E-ESSS" he cries.

"Don't worry; Fixit's already working on it! It will be back to its old self again, and so will you!" Cyclops smiles and closes the door, still wondering if she really does like Cyborg.

…

"So, we may be like this forever." pointed out Squidlips to Apeface.

"Oh, it may not be that bad…" he replied, observing Blueeye and Greeneye scaring each other.

"R…Robin…"

"Yeh?"

"Do you still like me, even when I look like this?" with a small tear.

"Starfire! I don't think you've got the message!" he says assuring. "It is because it's what's inside of us that real love and friendships are, not from the appearances. Appearances can be deceptive to what things really are inside. But I know who you really are Starfire…"

"Who?" she says hopefully.

"… err… um, my friend. my very good friend! An especially good friend" he says sweating.

Squidlips knew what he was trying to say and got such a boost from it she hiccupped. and before she could say "I like you too" she was Starfire again.

"Hey! Hic! My lips… hic… are back to normal! Hic!" she jumped.

"They are? Err… hiccup… err hic? Oh heck! Buuurp!" and soon Apeface was Robin once more.

…

The screen goes to a decimated tower in the sunset with cries of "I'm cured! I'm cured!" and "Buuurp!" and then one voice, in all the joy, finally asking that begging question that probably has been bugging you readers… Where's Beast Boy?

…

In the dark caverns a green chicken crosses floor…

"…To get to the other side!" it laughed as it morphed back into Beast Boy, tears streaming out.

There was no return laughter, just silence.

"We'll it's getting late and all. But I'll come back some time when I have some more jokes… I know it may seem stupid, me coming back here when you may not even know… I'm… here… but in case you do, and you're always waiting for someone, it's good to have some company… heheh… heh." and he wiped some small tears away.

"But don't you worry! Even though it's a rocky road, a muddy pit, a toilsome mountain! I'm not afraid to say what I feel! I'll find a cure for you! Be sure of that! I'll even take on Slade by myself if I have to! Dead serious! I'm not trying to crack you up!" he yells to his single audience.

"Get it? Crack… you… up. Ahem… Well, happy Valentines day. I'll be back soon! Don't you worry. See ya!" he says, and went out, not transforming as to wave farewell as Beast Boy, not an animal.

and it may have been a trick of light, or maybe something more, but if you looked at that statue of Terra hard enough you may have seen, for the split second it lasted… a small tear… and a smile…

…

Sunset scene with Robin and Starfire on a hill…

"You know Star." says Robin. "Maybe it would have been better if that gas had spread through the city."

"Do you think it would have made everyone look at their relationships more closely and cherish them with more value?"

"Yeah… and just imagine the whole city burping as one!"