.: To be Loved :.
:By:
Mys C
. . .A/N. . .
Waw…I was a little upset at the reviews from next chapter, but hey! They're still reviews…Thanks for all of you that reviewed. Please don't hurt me! I know it's almost been 2 months since I updated. Its S.A.T. week…Pressure and everything is just too much. This is such a late update! Oh well, please bear with me.
. . .Disclaimer. . .
I don't own 'em…None of 'em.
. . .Short Chapter Summary. . .
Inuyasha has an unwanted confrontation with Kikyo and Sesshoumaru has a talent.
Chapter 6 . . .Inner Beauty and Hidden Talent
It was the silence that woke her, the silence that deafened her ears.
She slowly opened her eyes, only to see darkness. Kagome stood and cautiously made her way to the window. Her hip brushed a small table before she reached it.
It was completely dark. Outlines of a sea of trees as far as the eye could see. She looked up at the sky to see endless sparkles of stars. They were all so bright and clear. In her time the stars weren't allowed to be seen at this beautiful state. The brighter lights from skyscrapers and other earthly objects refused the stars to shine their natural glow.
No. She wouldn't think of her family, her time, where she belonged. If she did it would make things harder than they are.
"Wonder what time it is?" She was thinking aloud.
As if on cue, a knock made her jump. The door opened with a creak and let in a small creature, she couldn't see who or what it was.
The small squeaky voice assured her it was someone she knew. "Here is your food. I will come back to bring you to Rin in the morning. Lord Sesshoumaru asks of you not to leave your room until then."
"Jakken wait…" The only reply she got was a door firmly shutting close. Releasing a frustrated sigh she walked over to the tray of food. Until now, she didn't notice how hungry she was. She stuffed her face, trying to fit bits of everything in her mouth.
When she finished, she gave a small healthy burp and walked over to the window. Wondering how long she was to stay, how long until she gets her freedom back. She felt like a prisoner that had no choice, but to stay and keep still. It felt so frustrating to feel so helpless and bored.
Her thoughts slowly drifted to Sesshoumaru. What drove both of them near the edge? What made him lose his control? The control he so obviously tried so hard to hold in. It frightened her to see the look in his eyes when she was being held against the wall. It was clouded, lust-filled, and new. She needed to forget about that and start worrying about Rin.
Kagome would help Rin and get out of there, damaged pride and all. But as she thought of the situation more, it might be harder to part from Sesshoumaru and Rin in the end. Seeing as she might develop much more complicated feelings for both of them, especially Sesshoumaru.
The rain was slowly tapping against the roof. Kagome allowed herself to calm down and tried to forget about everything for one moment and just rest.
She laid back on the bed and for the whole night she stared up at the ceiling, sleep claimed her at the first sign of dawn.
Sesshoumaru didn't have better luck resting. His shoulders wouldn't heal. As if the hand imprints were tattooed to him. He didn't need sleep as bad as the human, but he wanted to wake up from this haunting nightmare. He desperately wanted to turn back time. To that moment he told Rin to fend for herself. All this wouldn't have happened if he didn't send her off.
It was so frustrating to be so oblivious of what Naraku was planning. Sesshoumaru still wasn't sure why he abducted Rin. Keeping his self-control, he geared his thoughts to the unwanted flashback.
The pain was so sharp, so quick, he shut his eyes. He couldn't admit to himself, that he actually cared for his mother and Lady Izayoi. Time couldn't heal this wound, it was still fresh as if it was only inflicted yesterday.
His confrontation with Lady Izayoi shook him to the core. She said so many things that were so true and brazen, it confused him. The lingering smile that seemed to be plastered to her face haunted him. It never left him at peace. She was the only human woman he ever loved, he ever cared for. The love he felt wasn't wanton, it was platonic.
He would never forget the way he brushed off all of his insults and rude comments he threw at her with that smile. When he was held in delicate figure, he felt loved and secure. That moment alone was enough to heal the wound that his mother left behind. It was so innocent, pure and promising. At that moment he knew he would forever love this woman.
When the news of her death spread throughout the land, he didn't know what to do, what to feel. Till this day, every morning he would wake up and wish that she would one day walk back into his life and just hold him like she used to. That she would just hold him and shut the world out, promising safety and love. Then reality would come and slap him senseless and he was afraid to admit that it hurt. She would never come back, she was dead, and he didn't need her love.
He almost laughed at his own stupidity. The first two were truths, but the last was too much of a lie. He could feel his heartstrings being pulled and cursed himself for being allowed to get this deeply dragged into his confused thoughts.
Being trapped in the confines of his mind was torture, he felt like a prisoner in his own body. It surprised him because he was frightened. Frightened that he would once again fall into the unwanted feeling of love with, yet, another human.
No.
He wouldn't allow himself, not again.
No.
She means nothing.
Not love. Never.
No matter how hard he tried to convince himself, he knew he was only lying to himself.
Each day got harder to go through without her.
He found himself, looking for excuses to go back to his brother's fortress and just grab her and make a run for it. To just forget about his brother and focus everything on Kagome. Getting her safe and away from his brother, back to him.
This was worse that waiting for her to come back from the well. He eyed the crescent moon that was hidden behind thin clouds.
Just the thought of her never coming back, frightened him more that facing death or any battle he had ever been in.
Maybe it was the idea of being all alone or simply loosing Kagome that frightened him the most.
As much as he hated it, he needed to just sit back and wait for her return. He trusted his brother enough.
As the scent of death and rotting flesh neared, he jumped off the branch and followed the scent. Inuyasha knew who it was. Always knew it was.
As he ran trees turned into green blurs around him and memories too painful came back at her dead scent. Memories of betrayal, of hurt and pain. He found himself thinking about her sudden change. From the moment she gave the shikon no tama to Naraku, everything went downhill. Inuyasha couldn't believe he ever trusted her.
"What do you want, Inuyasha?" His name was dripped with poison as it escaped her dead lips.
"What are you doing her Kikyo?" He ignored her question and arched his eyebrows as if bored. Kikyo didn't miss a beat.
"I asked you first dear Inuyasha." She stood with her back to him, unable to face the only man he ever loved and hated as much. At times like this, she felt lucky to be emotionless; feeling the love for Inuyasha again will bring up unwanted memories. It'll let broken promises and white lies resurface.
"I want to know what you're doing here." He was starting to get annoyed. He loved her, yes, but it's slipping away. They were losing touch, drifting slowly apart. It started the moment he laid eyes on Kagome. The stolen hugs and moments he had with her were his last. Kagome was always at the wrong place at the wrong time.
"I'm simply wandering, don't bother I'll be undetected once I reach the end of your forest. You need not fear getting caught by Kagome. She's obviously not around to witness anything. Not that I wish to share anything with you." The hatred he felt was shared.
"What do you know of Kagome?" He demanded. She slowly turned around and faced him. Her eyes were so dull and lifeless. Inuyasha remembered when they looked so soft and filled with happiness. Inuyasha found himself staring deep into her once doe brown eyes, trying to find any compassion, hate, jealousy, anything.
He found none. The woman he once loved was truly dead.
"Don't let him blind you again Inuyasha. See to it that you do not make the same decisions you have made in the past. You cannot afford to make the same mistakes twice, her life remains in balance." Inuyasha was completely confused, her words didn't make sense. She was slowly fading.
"Kikyo, wai-…" He was cut off by her dying words.
"Trust in her." Her words hung around the air and Inuyasha found himself staring into nothing. Leaving leaves to rustle and the clouds to darken. A storm was approaching.
Thoughts and thoughts kept popping into his mind. Doubts and horrific images of Kagome dead by his brother's hand kept appearing. What Kikyo said made his legs shaky, his vision blurred.
Nothing could compare to how he was feeling now. He's been in many battles were his life was hanging on a thin line, but nothing frightened him more than the thought of Kagome dieing at the hands of his brother. Was that what Kikyo was trying to say? That his Kagome will die if he doesn't make the right decisions?
He made it to Kaede's hut just as the clouds let out a thin mist of rain. Giving Kaede a look that said leave-me-alone, she looked into the fire and ignored his presence. He let out a frustrated breath as the small kitsune climbed on his shoulder.
"Where's Kagome? How come you didn't get her yet? Baka!" Inuyasha didn't have time to play games, his legs were still shaky and his breathe came out in slow pants. He grabbed Shippou by the collar and dropped him on the ground, ignoring his insults. The little Kitsune sulked intoa corner and soon fell asleep cursing Inuyasha.
Miroku was sitting down with his back against the wall, with a reddening hand print on his cheek, eyes closed. Inuyasha only grinned. He seriously doubted Miroku will die from his Kazaana. Someday his lecherous hands would be his end.
Sango was in the sleeping bag Kagome left behind. Kirara was safely tucked under her arms; the big bone of a weapon was erected at the wall next to Miroku.
He looked back at all his friends. The only friends he ever knew. The only friends he ever had. Yet it felt so different. Without Kagome it felt so incomplete and unfamiliar. He just needed to trust her and resist the temptation to haul his ass to Sesshoumaru and demand for her back.
Kagome found herself trying not to kick Jakken as his small feet scurry over the marbled floors. Earlier, she heard pounding on her door and a small voice demanding her to wake and get ready. It only felt like she had ten minutes of sleep, only to be wakened by an ugly green frog. Her day just started out shitty and when the shit hits the fan, it's all down hill from there.
Jakken grumbled and mumbled something about weak humans and sleep. She fought the urge to wring his small green neck.
Kagome thought she would be taken to Rin's room, but she was brought down from the grand staircase. They took a turn to a kitchen and a back door. The shouji was slowly opened to reveal a view you only get in fairy tales. There was a small Japanese styled garden, spreading out to a field of yellow flowers a group of trees seemed to grow in one spot creating a great shade. Farther from the trees seemed to be alarge spring with large rocks and more rose bushes and flowers. The clouds seemed to be huddle into groups as they formed into many different shapes. The sun was slowly rising, spreading a blanket of warmth throughout the western lands.
Kagome was so awed by her surroundings she didn't notice the girl frolicking at the field of yellow flowers.
"Take the girl inside when the sun is high or when she wants to go back…" Jakken kept ranting about rules and other needs Rin has. Kagome, however, forgot his existence. The view was still magnificently glorious, so eye catching. She began to wonder if Sesshoumaru actually had a thing for these kinds of things.
"Hello Lady Kagome." The girl withshort black hairand orange and white kimono came towards her and she couldn't believe this was the same girl that suffered under Naraku's clutches.
"Rin? How are you feeling?" Kagome's smile seemed to be contagious. Rin was smiling at her, ear to ear.
"Rin feels much better. Thanks to Kagome-chan." Kagome noticed that the girl was smiling at her. Rin was no longer the pale faced solemn girl she saw just a few days ago. The crux of the matter seemed to be the jewel shard that was no longer implanted into the girls shoulder. Where was that jewel shard? She began to wonder as Rin ran over to the field and plucked different flowers and started showering herself with it doing a little dance as the flowers spread itself around her feet.
Kagome tried to suppress the giggle, but failed as it escaped into loud guffaws. Rin laughed with her as she was running around in the field. Kagome found the urge to chase her around. After 30 full minutes of chasing each other, laughing, tickling, and picking flowers. They finally settled down to lie down in that same field.
The flowers that were crushed under them spread a sweet scent that helped them even their breathings.
The sun wasn't too hot to handle, it was partially cloudy, blocking away some unwanted rays. It was a perfect day and for that moment she could block out everything, but this perfect moment with Rin. There was a long moment of silence between them. Suddenly Rin started giggling.
"What's so funny Rin?" She turned her head to the side and looked at Rin's smile. She was staring up at the clouds and giggling. Kagome looked up too.
"Rin laughs because of that cloud. It looks like Jakken." Kagome found the cloud that looked like accused Jakken. Suddenly she started giggling as well. The cloud was a shaped like a frog with a cane on the side. It had beady eyes with a hunched over figure. It perfectly imitated the way Jakken looked.
Rin and Kagome exchanged the views they saw, laughing and engaging in light conversation. Kagome didn't even know that little Rin It all happened so fast for them to notice that the sun was starting to rise higher. The sun was warm on their skins.
"Rin is hungry." A small grumbling sound came from the girl's stomach and the laughter didn't seize until they were back into the large estate.
Kagome never knew she could laugh this much under Sesshoumaru's home. It felt so different, but so similar to her laughs with Shippou and Sango. Maybe she could get used to this.
Sesshoumaru watched them run and giggle back into his estate. He's been watching the momentthey were chasing each other. Kagome would make a perfect mother for Rin...'Now where inthe seven hells did that come from?' Rin was happy, she was safe. That was all that mattered now. Kagome, helped Rin regain her happiness and joy. For that, Sesshoumaru should be thankful for. Sesshoumaru admired her. She would do anything for anyone without expecting anything in return.
No, he shook his head because she did want something in return, she wanted to return to Inuyasha, she wanted far from here. No, the term wanted was superficial. She demanded her freedom. If it wasn't for Naraku, he wouldn't have sought her out in the first place
He still wanted to kill him for the trauma he put her through. Naraku would die by his claws, not before he gives the torture, that he gave Rin, back to him.
The blood pounded in his ears with excitement. Sesshoumaru couldn't help but imagine how Naraku's face would look once he punctures his ribs, ripping his beating heart from his chest. He couldn't help but imagine how Naraku would look once he takes his last miserable breath.
Sesshoumaru's fingertips were tingling, bloodlust was becoming too much to take. He needed to see blood, to kill something, anything. Slowly, he felt himself calm down. The bloodlust slowly faded.
His father would be turning in his grave if he ever found out he had raised such a beast with an obsession to kill, to slay. No, Sesshoumaru still had a truck-load of pride left and he would never lower himself to a beast.
He needed to let this all out, without blood, without pain being inflicted into some innocent victim. Walking back into his bedchamber, he made his way into his private library. This was where all the legends, all the myths and all his childhood memories were kept. He pushed a tall bookcase to the side. Slowly it made an indistinct sound of wood scraping wood.
Dust slowly flew around thenewly revealed passage. Insideexposed a small boxed room, only big enough to fit a small ladder and a candle wick hanging loosely on the wall.
Sesshoumaru hasn't visited this room since Rin was abducted. He stepped inside the small room, putting the bookcase back into its place. Darkness surrounded him. He never needed light to know where to go. The only way was up. Swiftly he climbed the ladder and opened up the trapdoor above his head. Grabbing the handle, he pushed it up letting sunlight cut through the darkness.
Sesshoumaru looked at the large window letting the sun pour into the room. He turned around to the opposite end of the room were an easel stood facing the window. It was dark oak and gleamed like new, on it there was a new canvas.
Several paintings hung on the wall, the sun making the colors bolder, and much more eye catching. This was where he poured his emotions, his thoughts, his dreams.
He grabbed a brush and swirled it around the small jar of water. Sesshoumaru took some yellow and splashed it on the canvas and went to work. For a moment he found himself lost in familiar bliss.
"Rin needs a bath." Rin sniffed and made an expression as if she disgusted herself. Kagome could only laugh. Jakken could only mutter about stinky humans, as he stood and called for a maid.
"Escort Rin to the private baths, bring her fresh flowers and bathe the waters with roses and jasmine. Take the bathing soap andnew linen towels. Readyyour Lady's kimono.Hurry you mindless fool." Jakken's squeaky voice sounded more annoying as he commanded other maids to prepare clothing. Kagome couldn't help but laugh as he boomed out more orders to demons twice his size.
"Would Lady Kagome want a bath? Would you want to take a bath with Rin?" Rin smiled to encourage her. Kagome didn't need it. She smiled back at her sweetness.
"Yes please. I haven't had a bath in days."
"Mr. Jakken? Lady Kagome is going to take a bath with Rin too." Jakken glared at the human with earnest loathing.
He called for more maids and gave them more orders. Kagome could have sworn she saw steam slowly releasing itself from his sharp imp-like ears.
"Thank you Jakken." Jakken left the room without a second glance with tears brimming his eyes and mumbled something about abuse and unfairness.
"Rin thinks Jakken is funny. Do you think so too Lady Kagome?" She sat back on the small couch and toyed with the patterns on the chair.
"I think he is very funny Rin. How did you two meet?"
"When Sesshoumaru-sama brought me back, Jakken was there. Jakken's always been there for Rin and Sesshoumaru-sama."
Kagome knitted her brows. "What do you mean brought you back?"
With a silly smile on her face she said, "Rin died once. Sesshoumaru-sama said so. Sesshoumaru-sama said that Rin was brought back to life and will always follow Sesshoumaru-sama."
"You died once?" she repeated.
"Uh-huh. Mean wolves chased Rin and killed her. Then Rin died, but then Sesshoumaru-sama brought Rin back."
'Wolves?' Kagome didn't think it was Kouga's wolves that could have done that. In fact she couldn't think of it at all. Seeing Rin's small, fragile body with wolves ravishing her body was too much for her to bear.
"Lady Kagome," The maid entered the study and looked at her and to Rin, "Lady Rin, your baths have been prepared." She bowed her head and walked away.
Grabbing Kagome's hand, Rin bolted through the back door. Kagome looked around her and found herself back in the garden, but Rin was dragging her elsewhere. They passed a couple of bushes with flower buds slowly blooming. The bushes lessened to open a clearing. Kagome felt her surroundings blur to be focused on the view in front of her now. The sun was high up, clouds scattered, birds flew here and there. The scent of jasmine and rose petals was so tranquil, hypnotic, like a drug.
There was a large spring with mist slowly rising. More rose bushes surrounded the spring, as if to lure anyone, only to find themselves in pain from the roses thorns. It was one of those personal hot springs Kagome and Sango always dreamed of bathing in. Dreams really do come true.
Rin's naiveté seemed to pour out of her as she quickly stripped and jumped into the water, sending some rose petals to wave to the edges. Kagome couldn't resist to join Rin and be as delighted as she was. Kagome needed that, just that moment of peace. She stripped off the kimono she was wearing and slowly sank into the water. She quickly tied her hair into a messy bun on top of her head, allowing some of her loose bangs to frame her angelic beauty.
Rin was looking at Kagome'shair and tried to do the same to hers, only to have it fall limply past her shoulders. Kagome glanced down at Rin's concentrated face as her hands kept moving to fix her hair into a bun. Rin let out a frustrated sigh and a slight look of annoyance broke through her face.
"Here let me." Rin's hand fell in the water and let Kagome fix it for her.
"Thank you Kagome-chan. Now Rin looks like you." The annoyance and frustration was once again replaced with joy and innocence.
"But you look lovelier Rin." Rin blushed as if she's never heard a compliment before. Maybe she hasn't, Kagome thought.
Rin grabbed for the soap on the round rock at the bank. She was slowly covering herself with suds and dipped her body to the neck until all the soap was gone. Kagome did the same. Rin watched as Kagome ran her hands over her chest. Rin looked down at hers and confusion was back.
"What's wrong Rin?"
"How come Lady Kagome has bigger…" Rin didn't know what they were. What was she supposed to say? Then Rin poked at one of Kagome's breasts. Kagome let out a little squeak and laughed.
"Don't worry Rin, maybe when you get older you'll have bigger…" Kagome imitated her and poked at Rin's developing chest.Rin started to laugh as Kagome tickled her sides.There wasn't anything perverted in this, nothing about this moment was. It wasn't awkward either. It was simply curiosity,innocence and naiveté at its best.
They laughed some more and played around in the water. Rin started to yawn. "I think Rin is tired. Good-bye Lady Kagome." Before Kagome could protest Rin bolted for the towel and ran to the house to be welcomed by maids wrapping her in warmth and dressing her.
Kagome found herself relaxing at the thought of being alone for a while. Slowly she walked to the middle of the spring. The water made it just below the underside of her breasts. She released her hair from the loose bun, sending her hair to cascade down her back. The breeze picked up sending her shivers throughout her body, puckering her nipples into pink buds.
Seeking warmth she sank into the water and dove until her hands touched the bottom. She always wanted to swim in deep open water, to have no boundaries, to just be free. Even though this wasn't the deepness she seeked, it was good enough for now. Finding the lack of oxygen nagging at her, she swam up. The image she made was just breathtaking. She looked like a mermaid that took her first breath of fresh air.
Her silky black hair was clinging at her back, they shined as water trickled down on loose strands.Her breasts were eager and lush as she jumped up, they looked sleak and soft. Her eyes were close as if in ecstasy, her pink lips were parted, glossy from thewarmth of thewater. The warmth that she just broke out of gave her body a pinkish glow, sending her cheeks a light blush. Then she let in one long breath.
Completely unaware how much she affected the golden orbs watching her, his hands itching to paint her, sculpt and sketch her. To illustrate the breathtaking beauty he had just witnessed, firsthand.
'Ello Poppets! Hehe, uhm please forgive me for updating so late…I appreciate all the reviews…Keep 'em coming! It encourages me to write faster winkwink…LoL…
Um, thanks to all the reviews…again…Hehe…I hope no hates me for making Sesshoumaru an artist…You'll get a clearer view next chapter, it helps him seduce Kagome faster hehe…You'll see…
Oh! Can anyone help me? Is it Chan or Sama that goes after Kagome's name when Rin calls her? I don't want to look dumb if I put the wrong thing, is there a wrong way to put it? Can anyone clear it up for me, so that I won't make the same mistakes in the future…Thanks a bunch in advanced…Uhm off to the responses!
.o.0.o.
Chaos-and-Serenity: Awww…That's making me blush…I'm so glad that you understand that this isn't a fast paced story because it is far from over…Hehe…Sorry that I took this long to update…
i-wish-i-was-kagome: Thanks!
liz: Sesshoumaru won't take her, YET! They need to develop more connection and understanding.
sexylucifer: Cool thanks, here's that next chapter, sorry it took this long.
Bafu: Aww, Thanks for telling me…
honey-gurl808: Sesshoumaru will warm up to Kagome, soon. Naraku's plans are evil. Hehe. I don't hate Kikyo, much…LoL…
sheenachi: haha…That's so cute.
And special thanks to...
Kagamoesiun
regretfully-yours-Cassy-chan
Dragonsdaughter1
Salena-Jagonashi
Once again, SORRY to keep you all waiting. I'll try to update as fast as humanly possible…I NABSHOO GUYS!
Jakken's Last Thought:
'Stinky! Damn smelly humans!'
:Disclaimer:
The characters of Inuyasha do not belong to me. I claim no rights to any, those rights rightfully belong to Rumiko Takahashi. This is a mere fan fiction to show my passion for the anime/manga series created by the talented Rumiko Takahashi.
Mys C -