Title: In Our Tears
Disclaimer: Nothing and nobody belong to me. I borrowed it all from Tolkien and returned it to him without harm. The songs are from Secret Garden.
Rating: PG
Spoilers: none that I can think of
Summary: No matter of preparation could have readied Legolas for the pain of Aragorn's passing. Written for the Mellon Chronicles TEITHO challenge.
All arrangements had been made and now the people only waited. In the great courtyard of stone, black figures walked as shadows amongst the carpet of white flowers. Minas Tirith had always been a happy place, for the most part- or at least as long as King Elessar carried the crown of Gondor. The white city shone brightly, reflecting the rays of the sun that on this day shone exceptionally bright, laughing that its time had now come to rid the world of the winter chill. Not a single cloud sullied the sky, and birds sang, glad to be awakened from their deep slumber. But the city echoed only sobs and quiet prayers, as the people of Gondor waited for the passing of their king.
Aragorn knew his time had come. He dressed himself in white garb and lay himself upon the stone bed in the court of his fathers. His reign these passed few years has been all he could have hoped for. King Elessar brought to Middle-earth peace she had not seen in many a century. The people loved and praised him and he them. His children have grown to follow in their father's footsteps and Eldarion, Aragorn's son and heir, became a man worthy of caring the crown of Gondor and scepter of Arnor. Aragorn sighed and let his head fall back. Breathing was becoming difficult now for him, but he sensed he had a few minutes left, maybe an hour. He did not regret his passing. His life has been more than accomplished and now it is time to leave this world behind.
Servants and friends came by his bedside, each wishing him well in the next life and each dropping a tear onto his shoulder, but the people he most wished to see, his family, were long gone- out beyond the sea in a land of peace.
Legolas came to his bedside and smiled down at his old friend, and Aragorn returned the smile. They both put their right hand across their chest- as a common elvish gesture- and Legolas placed his hand on Aragorn's shoulder, kneeling down himself so that Aragorn could reach him and do the same. For moments they remained as such, no words necessary to be exchanged between the friends. Finally, Legolas broke the silence.
"We have fought many battles, my friend, yet this is the hardest one of all," the elf told him, "one that we perhaps will not be able to win."
Aragorn locked eyes with his sworn brother. "Dear friend, then maybe we should stop fighting and give up the victory. We have no enemy in this battle."
Legolas nodded. His eyes saddened and the softness of his mouth became hard as his head dropped, but Aragorn, with his free hand, gently brought the elf to look at his once more, still keeping his other hand on his shoulder.
"Do not grieve for me, I beg of you," Aragorn said. "My passing is not worthy of your sorrow. My life has been completed. I did what I was born to do and now there is no more. You have been a loyal friend all these years and have never failed me. I knew that in the hardest hour I look upon you for aid. Now as my last breaths leave me, may I ask you of one more thing?"
The prince's eyes lit up and he leaned closer to the man. "Anything, Aragorn. Just name it, my friend."
"I ask you to wait a while before sailing. See to it that my son rules well after my passing. Guide him as you've done me."
Legolas dropped his gaze once more. He was willing to go beyond death and back again for Aragorn, but a request that seems so easy to accomplish, he simply could not.
"Nay, Aragorn," he said sadly, "forgive me, but I this is perhaps the one and only time when I must refuse you. Please understand, my friend, you have been all that kept on Middle-earth. You say you could look to me in your most difficult hour, but it was you who helped me fight the calling of the sea all these years. Now that you will be gone, there's nothing keeping me here. Forgive me. "
Aragorn waved his hand slightly as a sign of understanding.
"No need for you to explain, my friend. 'Twas a selfish request," he said.
For a few more moments they were in silence, not because they did not have anything to say, but because nothing was needed to be said. Legolas looked down at his friend and, for once saw the age that has finally caught up with Aragorn. His face was wrinkled and his voice raspy, hidden gray in the blue of his eyes, but nevertheless, it was the same young and energetic Aragorn whom the elf befriended so many years ago. Legolas remembered the time when Aragorn was fifteen, by human standards, and he took the boy hunting for the first time. But what started out as a humble hunting trip, turned into Legolas rescuing the little screaming Aragorn from being stuck in a tree. Apparently, he wanted to prove to the elf that he was just as agile and flexible.
Legolas smiled at the memory and that caught Aragorn's attention.
"What do you find so very funny, my friend?" he asked.
"Just remembering some of our adventures."
Aragorn laughed, though it was hard for him to do so. "Do you not mean our misadventures?"
Legolas chuckled at the retort. "Indeed."
But his smile faded when he saw how difficult it was becoming for Aragorn to breathe.
"Is it time?" he questioned.
Aragorn nodded sadly. "It is. Shall we say our farewells?"
"Nay, there is no need for farewells. We shall meet again, my dear friend, that I promise you."
With that, Legolas stood up and move aside from the bed. "I will call Arwen to you, for I know she is the one person you wish to speak to last."
"Hannon lle," said Aragorn. Legolas stood a moment longer looking into the eyes of his closest friend before finally departing.
The elf walked up the steps that led away from the small yard and into Minas Tirith. At the top he turned around and watched Aragorn and Arwen part. So beautiful a pair they had been, and now both had to face their doom alone. Legolas watched as Arwen's head fell upon Aragorn's breast and the long held tears finally gave away. Two servants sadly walked up to her and gently raised her to her feet, turning the elven queen away from the now lifeless corpse of her husband that used to hold within it the spirit of a noble king.
Legolas averted his back to the sight of the Gondorian soldiers carrying out the body to its sanctuary. He silently stepped onto the large veranda and walked forward, not knowing or caring about where he was going. Softly he began to sing a song of lament:
Hear my silent prayer
heed my quiet call
when the dark and blue surround you
Step into my sigh
Look inside the light
you will know that I have found you
The wind is your voice
the rain is your tears
Your burning heart
and spirit is my salvation
The elf's light voice echoed throughout Minas Tirith and the people listened with tears as the doleful melody reached their ears. Its sadness added only more to their grief of mourning.
The wheels of life keep turning,
spinning without control.
The wheels of the heart keep yearning
for the sound of the singing soul;
And nights are full with weeping
for sins of the past we've sown
But tomorrow is ours for the keeping
Tomorrow the future's shown.
The large lump in his throat prevented Legolas from continuing. For all the years that Legolas has been in Aragorn's company, he knew this day would come. They discussed it many times and they even joked on the matter. He had prepared for this day even since he met Aragorn. But can one truly prepare for death? He had thought that he already experienced the loss when Aragorn fell at Helm's Deep. Yet Legolas understood how different that time was. Deep down he had known that Aragorn was alive, he could feel it. Now he felt nothing but emptiness. And as much as it gnawed away at his heart to admit this to himself, Aragorn was dead. What was the point living through the War of the Ring if Legolas would live to see this?
Legolas leaned back on a cold, stone wall, stopping in his vagrant stride. The elf's eyes stung from the burning of tears that threatened to erupt, but he willed them away. Tears are useless. They're only a sigh of weakness, and nothing more. They do not heal pain, nor do they bring back what has been lost. He had learned that when Boromir had died, and Haldir after him. They were the first true loss in the elf's life, but they were mere companions. They were not a brother to him, as Aragorn was. Is. He might be gone, but Aragorn is still his brother. Nothing could change that fact.
"Legolas?" said a quiet voice. Startled a bit, Legolas turned around. There before him, stood Eldarion, a young version Aragorn, but not him. "They took him away."
"I know," Legolas replied. He noticed that the young man's eyes were swollen and wet trails lead from his silver eyes all the way to his chin. Walking up to him, he wiped away the trails. "No, Eldarion. You're a king now. You cannot weep. Grieve for him, but do not weep."
"I'm not ready to be a king."
"Nonsense." Legolas firmly placed two strong hands on the man's shoulders. "Your father would not have left if you were not ready."
"But I how can I rule after him? He saved Middle-earth from an age of darkness. He was a great warrior and a powerful king. The people expect the same from me, I cannot give them that."
"I will tell you a secret, Eldarion. You must serve your people in order to lead them well. 'Tis not the weapon or the skill to fight that makes a man a warrior. You're father was not a powerful king because he fought for Middle-earth, but because of his good heart and love for his country. Along with the crown, he passed that on to you. You will make many mistakes and the people will forgive you as they have forgiven your father. Use well what he has taught you, but do not try to follow in his path, create your own. Then, and only then, will you carry on the glory of your lineage."
Legolas and Gimli were in silence as they rode towards the Grey Havens on the ever so faithful Arod. Three weeks have passed since the doom Aragorn, and Legolas knew that he would not be able to withstand another day in Gondor. He convinced Gimli to leave for Valinor earlier than they intended to and the dwarf easily agreed. But even if Legolas sailed across the sea, there would be no comfort for him there, nothing to take away this unbearable emptiness that tore at his chest.
Small flakes of snow fell from the clouds, something ever so rare for never did it snow on the path to the Havens, no matter what weather, and it was spring now. For the first time in his life Legolas felt cold. His body ached and he has not said word throughout the entire journey. He worried Gimli greatly, but the dwarf decided not to say anything on the matter. Aragorn's passing was also a great loss to him, but nothing compared to that of Legolas, and Gimli understood that.
As they neared the harbor, they saw waves break against the shore and the scent of salty water filled the air. They dismounted Arod and Legolas gently stroked the stallion's neck. The snow started to fall heavier, but it was calm and it looked like little gems floating gently on the surface of the sea. While Gimli busied himself with all that was needed to build the ship, Legolas began to sing.
I remember a meadow one morning in May,
With a sky full of dreams that sailed in that day.
I was dancing through green waves of grass like the sea
For a moment in time I could feel I was free.
There are waves of forgiveness and waves of regret,
And the first waves of true love I'll never forget.
In the meadow that morning as I wandered alone
there were green waves of yearning for life still unknown.
Take me home to the meadow that cradles my heart
where the waves reach as far as you can see.
Take me home to the meadow - we've been too long apart,
I can still hear you calling for me.
What I'd give to remember that heavenly state
just a moment in time - all mine to create.
As I'm taking my last breath I know what I'll see
there'll be green waves forever out there waiting for me.
"Namariё, Aragorn," whispered Legolas into the wind once he finished his song. The cold was becoming quiet unbearable and he started shivering uncontrollably. But as he pulled his cloak tighter around his shoulders, his vision began to blur and his head swam. It was then that he became aware of a terrible pain in his chest. Slowly his knees gave away beneath him and he fell onto the snow. Somewhere in the distance he heard Gimli calling his name, but it was too far off. Darkness began to fill his vision and his limp form fell to the ground.
Voices. So many voices. He could not identify whom they belonged to. He would have to wake up in to do that, but any attempt Legolas made to do so, he immediately regretted.
"He breaths better now. He might even be awakening," said one voice.
"I should hope so after so much time," replied another.
"You do no know this lad as I do. He's as hard to break as the toughest stones beneath the earth." That one Legolas recognized as belonging to Gimli.
A chuckle. "Yes I suppose you're right, master dwarf."
The sound of all those voices made Legolas' head spin. Nevertheless, he tried once more to fully wake up. After what seemed like ages to both Legolas and the people around him, the elf's eyes fluttered his open. It took quiet a few moments before they came into focus and once they did, they fell upon a fair face.
"How are you feeling, my lord?" asked Eowyn.
Legolas tried to answer, but realized that his throat was much too dry. He licked his lips to give them some moisture and found a cup pressed to them a moment later. He gratefully drank the water. As soon as the cup was removed, Legolas found himself looking up at Eomer and he nodded his thanks.
"I shall leave you now. There are many more that needed attending to," retorted Eomer and he took his leave with a slight bow of the head.
Eowyn watched her brother leave and then turned back to Legolas with the want of an answer to her previous question in her eyes.
"I am fine, lady Eowyn," responded Legolas, though he was not sure of that. Strange thing was, he had no idea where he was and how he got here. As Legolas looked around to try and identify his surrounding, he noticed that he was laying on a small healing cot and around him he saw may injured men and elves that were in no better position than himself. The last that he remembered was he and Gimli at the Grey Havens preparing for their departure. He knew that quiet a large transition of time must have passed since then, but frankly he cared little. There's was only fact that he was sure of: Aragorn was dead. Nothing else mattered anymore. Momentarily closing his eyes, Legolas leaned back against the pillows beneath his head and took in a deep breath. No strength remained within his body and wished Valar would claim him now.
"Now, now, lad. Don't you go drifting off into your own world again," said Gimli, bringing Legolas out of his thoughts.
Legolas smiled softly, still not opening his eyes. "Nay, do not worry, friend Gimli. I am merely resting."
They let him lay as such in silence, but did not leave his side. Never would they have imagined that Legolas could live through that kind of a wound. It would have easily killed a man on the spot and it found the elf in a very fatal place. But as Gimli said, Legolas was strong. The two of them thought Legolas had drifted off to sleep again, but he all of a sudden asked,
"Where am I? Am I in Ithilien?"
Eowyn and Gimli exchanged worried glances. "No, my lord," said the shield-maiden, "you are at Helm's Deep."
Legolas' eyes bolted open in surprise. "What? How did I get here?"
"Do you not remember, Legolas?" asked Gimli. "You were wounded in the battle."
"Two arrows shot through your chest, dangerously close to your heart," continued Eowyn. "You had a terrible fever for three days. We thought you would die. But Lord Aragorn is an astonishing healer…."
Legolas didn't know where he got the strength from, but he suddenly leaped up from the cot and grabbed Eowyn by the shoulders, while Gimli jumped back to avoid collision with the elf. Legolas brought Eowyn's face close to his own so that she looked him right in the eyes.
"What did you say!" he exclaimed, his eyes rounded and his heart beating faster. He looked down at his chest where the shirt was unbuttoned just enough to reveal the bandages and Legolas recognized the binding to, indeed, be one of Aragorn's. This can't be, he thought to himself. I saw them carry out his body.
Eowyn struggled to get loose, quiet startled at his reaction and, frankly, she was somewhat scared, for he had an extremely firm and uncomfortable grip on her upper arms.
"I said, Lord…." But Legolas didn't let her finish.
"You lie! Why are you tormenting me?" Legolas held her tighter and Eowyn was surprised at how quickly his strength returned. She looked at him in confusion, not understanding what change transpired in the elf.
"Legolas!" yelled Gimli, but Legolas ignored him. Why were they doing this to him? Why were they pretending they didn't know?
Something caught the corner of Legolas' eye, and he tore his gaze away from Eowyn's face and looked over her shoulder. A huge lump jumped into his throat at the sight he beheld. He stood there, frozen as if enclosed in ice. Was this an apparition before his eyes? It must be. He can't be real. Slowly control returned to his body and as soon as it did Legolas dropped Eowyn to the cot, out of his way, and walked with great steps to the other side of the healing room where he saw the effigy.
Aragorn, upon seeing him coming, got up from the bedside of a wounded man and turned around completely towards the elf. Legolas stopped a few feet away from the ranger and froze once more, staring wide-eyed at the man before him.
"Legolas?" said Aragorn. But Legolas did not answer. Breath has long since left his body. Concern marred Aragorn's face as he locked eyes with his friend. "You should not be up." Still no answer. "Has your fever dropped?"
But as Aragorn reached out his hand to touch Legolas' brow, the elf quickly closed the distance between them, pulling him into a tight embrace. After getting over his surprise, Aragorn gratefully accepted the embrace. Realizing that the man was real and not an apparition, Legolas buried his face in his friend's shoulder and he wept. He no longer cared for weakness or pride, nor did he care for the false ordeal he had to live through. He wept for everything he had been holding in all these years, but mostly he wept from joy. Aragorn was here with him, alive. He was real. Nothing else mattered.
Much time passed as they stood as such. Finally, Aragorn made an attempt to pull back, but Legolas held him tighter and shoot his head against him.
"My friend, there are wounded that I must see to," said Aragorn gently.
The elf's tears gradually ceased and he responded, "I…I'm afraid if I let you go, you will vanish."
"I will not, I promise you."
Legolas pondered for a moment and then he hesitantly released hisfriend. Aragorn placed his hands on the elf's shoulders and stood for a moment longer before leaving to tend the injured. Legolas, too, returned to his cot, the pain and weariness of his wound finally reaching him. But nevertheless, he smiled to himself. He silently prayed to Iluvatar that for many more years to come he would be seriously wounded and Aragorn would bring him back from the Halls of Mandos. True, the horrid day will come when Aragorn will no longer be able to draw breath; when emptiness will rule as the Doom of Men draws near, but it is not this day. Aragorn has yet to free Middle-earth from the darkness of Mordor. There is no sense in mourning his death ahead of time, no sense in preparing for the grievous moment when he passes. But in the very depth of his mind, Legolas wished selfishly that the War of the Ring would not end too quickly.
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THE END