Ah Knights!

I own nothing of the knight persuasion

Chapter 12: The Power of Granny Smith Compels You!

"You're becoming a Mary Sue!"

Tina shrieked horrified with the eyes bulging and the lip biting and the gestures of mix disgust and concern all in pure dramatic fashion. The soap opera moment was ruined however as Macy threw her head back and cackled hysterically, Tina could only look on horrified.

"You think this is funny?" She demanded as soon as the laughter died down and Macy seemed to get a hold of herself, there was the odd snort or giggle but Tina was less then amused.

"Yeah!" Was the only reply Macy could manage to croak out before erupting into another fit of giggles and falling over as she clutched at her sides and struggled for breath.

"Oh my God, it's worse then I thought," Tina mumbled to herself as she leapt to her feet and went to the door. "Jason!" She called through the screen that separated her from the interior of the house. "Call the Vatican, we need an exorcist!"

As Tina became more erratic Macy found the situation less amusing and pulled herself to her feet. "Teeny," She began in an attempt to talk her down. "Come on this is stupid." She took a step forward but was stopped as Tina threw up her arms, her fingers forming a crude cross symbol.

"Back demon!"

"Tiiinaa…" Macy rolled her eyes.

"What the hell is going on out here?" Jason called as he stepped out from the patio door. He no sooner emerged from the house then Tina snatched the glass from his hands.

"The Power of Christ Compels You!" Tina screamed flinging the contents into Macy's face Jason grabbed the hysterical woman by the shoulders and shook her.

"What has gotten into you!" He bellowed as Tina fought the urge to not lose her breakfast.

"Jason." Macy tried to interject.

"Have you lost your mind!"

"Jason!" He released his grip on Tina who had to stand very still until the world stopped spinning and instantly wish it would start again. She practically dove behind Jason for cover from Macy's death glare. She took a breath and calmly lifted a finger to wiped apple juice from her cheek. "I'm fine just a little damp." Macy plastered a smile across her face and waved Tina over.

"Ummm…" Tina moved to comply but thought better of it and retreated back behind Jason. "I think I'll stay here thanks." Macy cleared her throat and folded her arms still smiling.

"Tina… sweetie... What was all that about?" Tina shrank sheepishly as both Macy and Jason waited for an explanation.

"I was trying to banish the Sue…" Tina tried hopefully.

"That was from the Exorcist and was meant to banish the devil." Macy informed in a flat tone.

"Close enough…" Came the mumbled reply from behind Jason's back. Macy opened her mouth to argue but quickly closed it again.

"Alright I'll give you that, but first of all your supposed to throw holy water not…" Macy sniffed at a lock of her hair. "apple juice. Secondly, for future reference, I am not now nor will I ever be a Mary Sue."

Tina sighed in surrender. "Alright…" Jason, as he had form the moment he'd walked into this little drama looked on dazed and confused.

"Well," he began pulling Tina from him. "This was interesting… and slightly frightening but if you excuse me I have an elsewhere to be." With that he made his retreat into the house. The two girls stared at each other for while until Macy broke the silence.

"Well I should go get cleaned up."

"Mace wait," it was Tina's turn to fold her arms and demand an explanation. "irrational Mary Sue theories aside what was all that about?"

"Well, lets see… we were talking… then you went insane… have I left anything out?"

"Yeah, the whole point! Just moments ago you were playing tickle the tonsil with Sir Lust-a-lot." Macy rolled her eyes. "Are you falling for him?"

"What? No!"

"Then what the hell?"

"Look," She sighed and pulled Tina closer and looked around to make sure no one else was listening to their conversation. "It was a little kissing, like you've never done it."

"So it's just something casual?"

"Yes."

"You're sure?"

"My house has been invaded, my relaxing weekend thrown into chaos. He's hot, for some reason he wants me, I'm only human!" Macy rubbed at he temples then turned on Tina with righteous indignation. "You know what I'm not sorry about this, in fact I'm owed this. I am do for some good karma and I'm gonna cash in if I have to smooch every man here to do it!"

Tina bit her lip trying desperately not to laugh. "Well, Mace that's… okay well I think we're done now." The blond turned to leave.

"And don't tell me you haven't thought of cashing in yourself…" Tina spun back around to meet Macy's quirked eyebrow.

"I don't think I know what you mean."

"Oh please I've seen you eyeing a select few when you think no ones looking."

"Well… I'm only human…" Tina threw Macy's previous statement back at her with a sly look before retreating into the house.

0o0o0

Macy had retreated to the upstairs bathroom to rinse her hair, give it a once over with a towel and throw it back into a ponytail. She washed her face and went to her room to get dressed, after emerging in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt she made her way to the stairs.

"Macy?" A hand dropped onto her shoulder and she issued a rather girly squeal of surprise. Jason let out a cackle and she rounded on him glaring and giving him a good thump to the chest.

"Don't do that!" She grinned at his playful smirk. "Fucker…" she muttered before begging down stairs. "So what was so important you risked giving me a coronary?"

"Well I thought I should let you know that we're running low on food supplies."

"Yeah Tina already mentioned," She slipped a hand into her back pocket and pulled out a credit card. "my dad left it for emergencies as long as we settle for the cheep varieties I don't think my dad's going to worry about me 'splurging' on groceries."

"There's also another issue." Macy sighed.

"What now?" She pleaded entering the kitchen with Jason short on her heels.

"The guys are getting a little antsy. They keep talking about wanting to go out and see this new world."

"I see…" Macy prompted in a 'get to the point' kind of tone.

"We should do something about this."

"Like what organize a fieldtrip?"

"I don't know, just something."

"Jason, do you have any idea how crazy that sounds. Everyone knows us around here, don't you think us suddenly having a tour group follow us around marveling at the, oh so picturesque sights of No and Where New Brunswick is going to attract a little attention. Not to mention uncomfortable questions like who are these suspiciously famous looking people and what are they doing here?"

"Well we've got to do something, I don't know if you've noticed but they are all very grown men who are very much used to coming and going as they please." Macy brought her hands to her face and groaned pitifully.

"I know!" She brought her hands down in a sudden motion. "What time is it?"

"Uhhh…" Jason looked to his watch a little off put by the sudden mood swing. "It's almost eleven, why?"

"Alright you round up the troops, Tina included I'll meet you by the pool in a few." She started towards the stairs when Jason called after her."

"What's in your head?" Macy turned back with a sly glint in her eyes.

"I have a cunning plan." Without another word she bounded down the hallway. Jason just shook his head at her retreating form and left to do what felt suspiciously like her 'bidding'.

0o0o0

The gang sat around in the sunshine waiting on Macy, Tina absentmindedly swung her legs in the crystal clear water of the pool. "So what's going on then?" She asked squinting up at Jason who was perched on the decks railing.

"Either Macy's plotting for world domination or she's thought of a solution to our cabin fever problem it's difficult to say."

Tina opened her mouth to comment when the glass door slid open and Macy emerged arms full, and Arthur, chivalrous as he is moved forward to help her. She muttered thanks as she set the white board that had previously hung behind her bedroom door against the railing between Jason and Bors.

"Oh goodie," Tina replied dryly, "visual aids, world domination it is then."

"Haha," Macy shot back kneeling in front of it. "Okay," She began in a clear voice addressing the knights. "I know you want to see our time. It's an entirely different world out there then you know and curiosity is a powerful thing. But believe me when I say that it is not going to be easy. For one thing some of the stuff you see and hear could shock and frighten you," There was an indignant snort from the more 'manly men' in the group which she ignored. "The other is there are just too many of you. You attract attention and trust me when I say its attention you don't want. None of us know what would happen to you if anybody found out about you, so low profile is the key."

"What is it you are suggesting then? Stay here and hide away like frightened babes, I will not live like that." This statement came from Gawain and was followed by affirmatives from his fellows.

"I know you're not afraid, and you're used to danger and wont just crouch in a corner until we can figure this out, that's why I came up with a plan." She gave them a playful look. "I mean come on give me a little credit."

"So what's the scheme Wile E.?" Tina asked with a raised eyebrow.

"To keep from drawing attention I suggest that we take only a few of you at a time when Tina, Jason and myself have to leave the house. Dose that sound reasonable to everyone?"

"And when exactly would you be needing to leave the house?" Bors questioned hopefully.

"Jason and I need to go for food after we're done here, there's room in the truck for four so there are two spots open." There was an immediate change in the knight's demeanor with a note of excitement in the air.

"So who gets to go?" Gawain asked with a wide grin.

"Glad you asked." Macy beamed pulling an assortment of markers from a pencil case and scribbling on the white board. "I know you're used to a chain of command but to keep this fair I suggest we leave it up to random chance." She caped the last marker and zipped the case before turning back to the board. "I've written all of your names out in a different colour; Arthur's red, Lancelot's blue, Gawain's yellow, Bors' is green, Dag is orange, Galahad's purple and Tristan is black." She held up a coffee can and gave it a light shake. "In here is a scrap of paper for each colour we'll draw two and whatever colour that is that's who will go with us. Any objections?"

"Seems reasonable enough." Lancelot muttered staring intently at the board. He knew the colour blue when he saw it and he'd understood that his name had been written in it, but no matter how he looked at it he couldn't read the strange writing.

"I agree." Arthur added also trying to figure out how the red squiggle was his name.

"Arthur," Macy began, giving the can a shake and getting to her feet. "why don't you do the honors." She offered the can to him; he reached into the can and began fishing through the colours. Tina and Jason both snorted into their hands. "You're not supposed to look." Macy chided holding back a laugh.

Arthur after a few chuckles from the rest theatrically covered his eyes and dug in again. He pulled from the depths a scrap of black paper and Macy put a little check next to Tristan's name, Arthur repeated this action drawing purple next.

"So Tristan and Galahad it is then." She checked Galahad's name on the board. "The rest don't worry I'm sure Tina can keep you plenty occupied while we're gone." She turned to the two chosen. "Lets get you two 'public' ready." Macy motioned for them to follow her inside as Jason and Tina pounced on her in the kitchen.

"Smooth move with the whole lotto." Jason remarked. "Little artsy for my taste but effective." Macy rolled her eyes at him as looked over the two knights.

"Lets see…" She muttered scrutinizing their appearance.

"Quick question why do I have to stay at home?" Was Tina's voice somewhere near Macy's left. Both of the knights where dressed plainly enough to blend in with any crowd.

"Because it's my credit card, I need one wingman and someone to stay home with the others." The only thing she was really worried about was someone recognizing them. She snatched a pair of Shawn's sunglasses off of the fridge and handed them to Galahad.

"Well why can't I be your wingman?"

"Because," Macy replied helping the young man get the glasses on. "you're on probation." Galahad marveled at how the glasses made everything slightly brown for a moment as Macy ruffled Tristan's hair a bit to scruff it up into his face when she stopped a moment.

"This is about the apple juice isn't it?"

"Yup…" Macy muttered walking to living room. Tina gave an overly dramatic sigh.

"Fine," She called after her. "But I'm not staying here stranded, Jason give me your keys." She held out an expectant hand and he just looked at it.

"How bout no."

"Come on, why not."

"We're going to need them, or did you expect us to hitch hike."

"You heard Macy you're taking the truck, you don't need them." Jason sighed and went to his coat on the back of one of the kitchen chairs as Macy came back carrying her purse.

"Fine, but remember…"

"I know, I know," She snatched the keys. "I break it I bought it." They turned to Macy who was blending liquid foundation into Tristan's cheeks. "What in the world are you doing to that poor man?" Tina demanded.

"Covering his tattoos."

"Oh… wait he had tattoos?" Jason and Macy both rolled their eyes at her as Galahad snickered.

"Sorry about this by the way." Macy added to Tristan offering him a mirror. "But facial tattoos are an eye catcher." Tristan touched his face in amazement where there were no signs of markings at all. "But try not to touch it, you can wash it off when we get home." She reclaimed her mirror and slipped it into the hip bag before slinging it across her shoulders.

"Does this mean we're ready to go." Jason asked hopefully.

"Lead the way." Macy gestured towards the front door and the small group of would be shoppers filed out into the front yard. They walked away from the house and passed Jason's car, which received some puzzled looks, towards a small barn. Beside the barn was parked a black GMC Sierra.

"This, my friends," Jason intoned to the knights. "is the mode of transportation in the future, of course they don't all look exactly like this one. But they're much faster then a horse."

"Though a little tougher on the environment." Macy added opening the doors. "You'll sit in here," She indicated the back. "Jason and I will be up front, and he'll be driving. It might be a little more cramped then what you're used to but it wont be a long trip. Okay if one of you wants to climb in Jason'll show you how the seatbelt works and the other can follow me to the other side and I'll do the same."

Both knights nodded but neither of them hurried forward to jump in. It seemed to Macy and Jason they were having trouble absorbing it all. They knew Galahad was already wary of them but now even the seemingly fearless Tristan was looking as if he'd regretted being chosen. As if that wasn't enough for them to deal with they were being watched from the front porch by their brothers in arms and with a pretty young lady in audience.

Not to lose face in front of the others Tristan briskly stepped forward and following Jason's instructions to watch his head climbed in and settled into the seat. As he began the seatbelt demonstration Macy took Galahad by the arm and led him around to the passenger side. With a hand on his head she guided him in to his seat and brought his seatbelt around him and fastening it into place.

"How's that feel? Not to tight?"

"It's snug."

"It's meant to be but it's not choking you is it? Sometimes it catches me around the neck."

"That's cause you're short." Jason's voice came from the driver's seat Macy ignored him and continued.

"If it dose that just move it back the way it is." She shut his door and climbed into her seat shutting her door as she went. She pulled her seatbelt on as Jason looked to their passengers in the rear view mirror.

"This will be loud, you ready?" He questioned, they gave him an affirmative nod and he turned the key. They started a bit when the engine roared to life but didn't freak out as Macy had expected and seemed to calm as they left the lane that was her driveway.

0o0o0

The drive was a silent one neither of the two occupying the front seats daring to turn on the radio. It was a longer trip then expected, they decided to not venture to the small local grocery store, where just about everyone knew them and instead drove the extra half an hour or so to a more urban area. The knights were holding up well at least that they could tell from the lack of complaining. They spent most of the trip either conversing with one another quietly or watching out the windows like a couple of fascinated children. Finally they pulled in to the crowded parking lot of the Atlantic Superstore and Jason managed to find them a good parking space if he did say so himself, which he did.

"Okay," Macy turned back to the awestruck knights as she opened her door. "It's a Saturday and it's going to be a little crazy in there so it'll go quicker if we split into pairs Tristan you go with Jason, Galahad with me." With that they climbed out of the truck and met at the front end. Jason pushed the button to lock it before they began walking towards, what was for the knights a great towering structure. "Also, I almost forgot. Your names, great as they are, are a bit unusual for this time period so if anybody asks, not that they will but if they do give them something boring and everyday."

"Like what?" Galahad asked expressing both his and Tristan's thoughts of just what the hell was boring and everyday in this time period.

"I don't know, ummm…" She motioned to Tristan. "You'll be Trevor and you'll be…" She tried to think of something close to Galahad that would be easy for him to remember but came up empty handed.

"How about Hugh?" Jason threw in with an evil smirk, Macy instantly rounded on him with a dangerous look.

"No, no, no, we'll go with Gill alright."

"I like Hugh." Galahad replied as the sliding doors opened I front of them.

"No you don't!" Macy snapped just as the door closed behind them.

TBC

A/N: My longest chapter yet! Just a couple of quick things, I've gone back and fixed this and my other KA story up a little for anyone who cares, which you probably don't but whatever. Also it has been decided that I will be doing the sequel to this story, for details you can check out my profile page. Thanks for reading and don't forget to review!

-Isis