Chapter Whatever-the-Hells-This-Is

Sorry it's been so long… my lappy has been down (still is) but Brandy has been just about ready to kill me to finish this story, so here goes…

This will be last chappy… You've all been great. There will be no plot-line to this (mainly cause if I ever had one I have forgotten it long ago… sorry.)

Hope you all had fun…

And if this is too raunchy for you then you can hunt Brandy down and make her life crazy cause she stole the keyboard and wouldn't give it back...

Chapter very last one (I lost count) so I hope you all enjoyed it!

Brandy and Kalyn are walking around, dispensing drinks to the masses and mingling with everyone.

I am still lying by the vending machines and carrying on conversations with the dust-bunnies (A/N: Yes, this is possible… We never clean under there so the dusties have very complicated personalities and even communities.)

The Goblin-King and Erik are sizing each other up.

Erik continues composing on my cell and drinking the liquor.

Phans keep swooning over Erik, who is getting slowly warmer and therefore shedding some of the more pointless clothing. Brandy walks over and stands by him when she notices.

Finding this very odd, she looks at the thermostat to check the temperature. "SONGE! What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm cold," I answered my hand raising the heat more.

"Liar… you just want to see Erik with no shirt on."

"So! You do too!"

Red Sharpies started pelting me and I cowered and hid.

Brandy started screaming. "You forget, I already have! I rap- I mean, we shared an innocent moment or two. Where's my Corona and camcorder?"

"Well, no one else has! Dammit! Everyone's enjoying themselves and apparently he's drunk enough."

Brandy looked over at Erik to see that he was now down to his frilly shirt and tight pants. The shirt was unbuttoned down to his waist and everyone could see just about everything (he looked like one of those guy on the covers of the Harlequin romance novels,) so it hardly mattered. Turning back to me, she said, "All right, if you friggin insist, but I must warn you, if one Phan puts her hand on my Phantom…" She turned back to watch over Erik and make sure the Phans weren't getting too close.

Seeing the horrible red glare come into her eyes I quickly set up red-rope perimeters that left me, Brandy and Kalyn on the inside. "Hurry you buffoon, they're surging and I'm almost out of Sharpies!" Brandy yelled. One Sharpie flew at my head. "Damn, there goes another one."

Rubbing my head I walked over to another control panel and turned on music. Fast punk-rock poured out of the speakers and everyone started dancing.

Erik stood and slipped off his shirt, showing his bare chest. He started dancing around, twirling his shirt over his head before throwing it out into the crowd. Phans started tearing at each other to get their hands on it.

The Goblin-King, not to be shown up, let his cape fall to the ground and started to un-button his shirt (you know the three that are there) and slipped it off. Brandy screamed, "Jareth! What the hell are you doing!" at the same time I screamed "Take it all off!"

He froze. Brandy and I shared a look.

Brandy conceded defeat and shrugged her shoulders. "Do what you must Goblin man but make it hot!"

I stared at her, bug-eyed. "What the hell are you saying?" I looked atJareth,"Ooooh, that is sexy-hot!"

"Yeah, well, I'm wanna spike the ratings. Oh, by the way, you aren't allowed to watch. Go talk to the dust bunnies."

I stamped off, muttering about spoilt times and not-very-nice friends. I was only talking to the dust bunnies about my ex- best friend for about two minutes when I heard the intro music. "Oh please don't let that be Brandy up there shedding her clothes," I pleaded with the gods. When I stood to look my mouth dropped open in stunned surpriseness (yes, that's a word, deal with it) There, between the Goblin King and Phantom, was Pete Wentz and Ioan Gruffudd (that would be the bassist from Fallout Boy and Mr. Fantastic from the Fantastic Four for those who didn't know)

"Did you really think I would banish you when there were nekkid men around?" I turned to see Brandy standing beside me with a smug grin and a Guinness held up in reconciliation. "You were complaining about me to the dust-bunnies, weren't you?" At my guilty look she continued. "You have no friggin faith in me!" She was about to start wailing on me when all four men dropped their pants.

"HOLY BALLS, BATMAN!" Brandy screamed before leaping for the stage. I raced after her, scrambling to get on top of the dryers before she did. "No, me first!" I yelled as I grabbed her hair. "No me you filthy slug, they want me!" As we rolled upon the floor beating the crap out of one another, Kalyn looked on amused and sipped her daiquiri.

"They'll never learn," she sighed as she shook her head.

After many hours of good food, good drinks, many bathroom breaks, raping, willing sex, and Sharpie pelting I headed over to my two best friends and propped myself on the counter. "Well, it's not exactly the night I had imagined but I think everyone's happy."

Kalyn nodded.

Brandy looked at me. "Who gave you permission to end it you selfish heifer! I haven't had my fill of booze and boys." At her lustful look, the men cowered and covered their genitalia. Cries of mercy came from their huddled group and Brandy shook her head disgusted. "Lightweights."

"So, do you have any other ideas?"

"SHOTS!" Brandy yelled, holding up a bottle of Tequila and a tray of shot-glasses.

There were cheers from the crowd as Brandy and I started setting up tables with lime and salt, glasses and Tequila for everyone to get in on the action.

Conversation surged over the music, mainly about who was hotter- Jareth, Erik, Pete or Ioan. People who had gained friends over the evening started sitting at the tables with each other continuing conversations and starting shots.

I went and turned the music down so people could hear each other and started taking shots with Brandy and Kalyn.

Another Few Hours Later

People were starting to doze off at their tables, liquor spilling from tilted glasses and dripping onto the floor.

I turned to Brandy, "I think the party is officially over," I said, pulling blankets (complete with Erik's face on them) out of the bag I had brought in off the carriage.

After making sure everyone was comfortably tucked onto the bus, Brandy, Kalyn, and I joined Erik and Jareth. (Songe had hidden Pete and Ioan in the back for later but that's a different story altogether, hehehe)

"I think it's time for you to get him back where he belongs, Jareth," I said, reaching over and pulling first Erik, then Jareth into a quick hug.

Brandy lunged at both planting kisses on them that would make porn stars jealous.

Kalyn stood back, waiting for the two men to leave. "Alright, Brandy, it's time to let them go. Jareth has a world to rule and Erik has an Opera House to terrorize." She tied unsuccessfully to pry Brandy away but after a few strenuous tries we were able to get her off.

When we were no longer hanging off the two, Jareth waved his hand, bringing a bubble-crystal out of nowhere. "Sweet dreams, enchantresses." He blew the bubble at us, then both men disappeared in a cloud of smoke and shimmering glitter, leaving us to fall into contented slumber.

FIN

Alright, once again, sorry so long and all, but lappy is broken… only reason I can get this up is cause I'm uploading at Brandy's house (better internet… must kill dial up…)

Well, hope you look for me in the future, when I'm better prepared and much, MUCH more organized.

(Hands out Phantom dolls and soundtracks)