Disclaimer: not mine. Oh, and Archie is a tool… one that should rust from not being loved!

Hehehe

Watching

He watched her, as he always remembered doing. From the first moment he saw her, not as the little girl, not as the love interest of his friend, but as her true self, the one that no one ever got a chance to see, the one he feared that not even she got to really know. She was his perfection, the first woman who had stood out clearly among the faded images of all the other girls that he never paid attention too before, and since her, all those other woman faded away even more. Against his will she was all he could see.

But his loyalties were stronger than his own wants. She was someone elses, untouchable. And so, he had to bury his heart, because she was all that was in it. And he began to replace his urges to be with her with eating, with food, until one day, there were one, the desire never going away. And he never tired of eating, because he could never tire of looking, of wanting.

No one but Hot Dog knew the truth, no one knew the pain he felt, no one thought to look at its cause. Especially when looking was all he allowed himself to do. But there were times, few and far between, where he stepped up when all other men fell behind, and he helped her, protected her, hoping against hope that she would see the reason for it and realize that she felt it too.

But she never did.

Others, all wanting the same as he, all for reasons that paled to his, stood in the way of her sight, of her heart. He hated those men, as much as he hated her, hated all her kind for not being her, for the same reasons that he envied them. They got to see her, they got to touch her and know her, and for a brief moment, perhaps even love her.

She was never his, not even in his dreams was he allowed to possess her, he dared not to wish for what he knew would never happen. She would never be his. At times he grew bitter, taking it out on her, but always he would hurt more than he could ever think to hurt her. He hated love.

But more, he hated to see her hurt. He wanted her happy, and if that was with someone else, he would accept it. But he would never love another, never see a woman as real to him as the image that he watches walk by him, he would never let her go. Everyone needed to be loved, and even unknowingly, he would assure that she always will be.

He smiled as she, in her travels down the hall, her best friend at her side, bestows a smile at him, a rare event, but a cherished one. He watched her go by, silently kissing her cheeks and whispering in her ear all the love in the world.

"I'll always love you Veronica."

He sighed with defeat, wanting a sandwich, watching her walk out of the school and out of his life, as she always did time and time again. But he wouldn't give up on her, on the secret her that was burning inside and on the hope that someday, she may watch him back.