That Would Be A Bad Thing- Part 3!!!!!
AIT Note: I misseded the last challenge! Bad fanfic author, very bad! *hits herself over the
head with a rolled-up newspaper* owieeeeee! that was not pleasant! damn sunday edition...
owwwwww..... so. anyway. guess what? (All: WHAT?) Time for the requirements!
***must be in txt format and funny
***must include ducks (AIT Note: Woohooo!!)
***Fred and George must give Mrs. Weasley a "Mother's Day gift"
***a potato must be used as a weapon
***there must be an evil *white* cat. (heh...)
***must include the phrase, "Facilis descensus Averni", which is latin for "Easy descent into
Hell."
***Martha Stewart must have a cameo
Sooooo. There you have it. On wit da fiiiiiiic! *smiles*
It was later that day, at dinner. We didn't know it yet, but the situation was about
to change. A lot.
Harry came running into the Great Hall and collapsed into a seat. "Sorry," he
panted, "I overslept again."
"It figures," Ron groaned. "Dreaming about Cho again?" Harry punched Ron on the arm.
"Shut up, Weasley, or I'll tell the whole school about *your* crush." They were
staring daggers at each other when Snape stood up.
"Students," he said, "today, several students skipped my Potions class. I have been
informed that they visited Hogsmeade unauthorized. All fifth-year Gryffindors will report to
my office for detention immediately after dinner."
"But I didn't do anything!" Harry protested.
"Those rats!" Ron fumed. A voice cut through the commotion. It was Malfoy.
"Hah! Take that, you Mudblood filth!" Hermione stood up and jumped on the table,
seizing a baked potato.
"Take that back, Malfoy!"
Malfoy jumped onto his table. "Make me, Mudblood!"
"All right, Malfoy, you asked for it." With the whole school watching, Hermione flung
the potato across the hall. It hit Malfoy right in the face, causing him to topple over into
a large bowl of tomato soup. He rolled off the table and slowly stood up, his robes dripping
with soup. Wordlessly, he picked up another potato, studied it for a second, and flung it
towards the Gryffindor table. It landed on top of a seventh-year's head. For a moment there
was silence. Then the Great Hall erupted as students grabbed handfuls of food threw them
every which way. Rolls, potatoes, pasta flew through the air towards random destinations. One
Ravenclaw student got a bowl of soup over the head, causing a huge stampede towards the
Slytherin table. Armed with potatoes, I battled my way through the fighting crowd until I
faced Malfoy.
"What?" He glared at me.
"Nobody insults my friends and gets away with it," I declared.
"Oh yeah?" Malfoy sneered. "What are *you* going to do about it?"
I held up the potato. "This," I replied, and threw it straight at his head. There was
a pause as he flailed his arms, and then he fell straight over backwards. A roll fell out of
the air and bounced off his nose. I laughed, grabbed some pasta, and fought my way back to
the Gryffindor table, still grinning.
An hour later, everyone lay sprawled on the ground, covered in food- or at least
something that resembled food. Martha Stewart wandered in, looking confused, took one look
around, and shrieked.
"EEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! That is NOT the proper way to serve baked potatoes!!!" She ran
screaming from the hall. Ron sat up and looked at me.
"Well," I said, "that was..."
"Scary," Ron supplied.
"Thank you."
"Students, may I have your attention please?" Dumbledore stood up, removing a bit of
pasta from his glasses. "It seems that you've all been- erm- punished enough, so the fifth-
year Gryffindors may forego detention." All the students stood up and left, probably for the
showers, scraping food from their hair and robes. Finally, only a few of us were left. Fred
and George had conjured up a box and were shoveling food into it.
"What in the world are you *doing*?" I asked them.
"Sending it to Mum," Fred said.
"Yeah," added George. "That was fun. We reckon Mum should make this sometime!"
Shaking my head, I joined Harry, Ron and Hermione as we headed back up to Gryffindor
Tower.
Halfway there, Hermione stopped suddenly. "Do you smell something?"
"It wasn't me," Harry said quickly. I sniffed the air.
"That's odd," I remarked, "I think it's bleach!" Just then, Mrs. Norris trotted
around the corner. Instead of her usual dust-gray, she was now a blinding white. The eeeevil
white cat stopped in front of us, blinked a few times, and dashed off to get Filch.
"Oh, great," said Hermione, "another detention. Exactly what we need after getting
*out* of one."
"Let's run," suggested Harry. We did, all the way up to the Fat Lady's portrait.
"What did you do *now*?"
"Never mind- gillyweed!" The portrait swung forward and we headed up to our dorms to
get our things for the showers.
Care of Magical Creatures the next day was a bit strange. Hagrid gave us his usual
"be careful with these, they don' like bein' poked much" speech, and then he brought out a
large crate. Everyone groaned, but looked inside anyway. What we saw was shocking, all right.
Inside were several three-foot-tall, purple-
"DUCKS??????"
"Yeh, I found 'em on the lake this mornin'. Though' it migh' be fun ter see wha'
they're like." We figured it was better than skrewts, so we headed inside the cabin to get
something to feed them. Suddenly we realized that several of the Slytherins were missing.
"Ooooh, I think they're skipping," Lavender said.
Ron made a face. "Facilis descensus averni," he remarked. I stared.
"Latin too?"
"Yep, and I meant it. Skipping Hagrid's class is Not. Good." Suddenly, there was a
loud commotion from outside. We ran to see what it was. Lying on the ground was an enormous,
blue-and-green striped egg. Dumbledore walked up with Hagrid just as we saw it.
"Oh... my... goodness..." Dumbledore gasped, staring at the ducks, Hagrid, and the
egg. "Hagrid, do you know what these creatures *are*?"
~TO BE CONTINUED~
Another AIT Note: Ha! Cliffhanger again! Evilness, it's fun, yes it is.....
Yet another AIT Note: I missed the previous challenge, i sowwy.... *sniffies*
And another AIT Note: Join the AMSS! (it stands for Anti-Mary Sue Society) The name kind of
explains it, and yes it is a bit hyper. Well, really, *I* started it, what did you expect?
Sanity? I thought not...
The very last AIT Note: REVIEW! Or else I shall pluck yonder dagger from the air, and slice
thy cursed head off! (AIT's been at Macbeth rehearsal again....) ANYway, REVIEW! And have a
hyperiffically funnyness day!!!!!!!!
AIT Note: I misseded the last challenge! Bad fanfic author, very bad! *hits herself over the
head with a rolled-up newspaper* owieeeeee! that was not pleasant! damn sunday edition...
owwwwww..... so. anyway. guess what? (All: WHAT?) Time for the requirements!
***must be in txt format and funny
***must include ducks (AIT Note: Woohooo!!)
***Fred and George must give Mrs. Weasley a "Mother's Day gift"
***a potato must be used as a weapon
***there must be an evil *white* cat. (heh...)
***must include the phrase, "Facilis descensus Averni", which is latin for "Easy descent into
Hell."
***Martha Stewart must have a cameo
Sooooo. There you have it. On wit da fiiiiiiic! *smiles*
It was later that day, at dinner. We didn't know it yet, but the situation was about
to change. A lot.
Harry came running into the Great Hall and collapsed into a seat. "Sorry," he
panted, "I overslept again."
"It figures," Ron groaned. "Dreaming about Cho again?" Harry punched Ron on the arm.
"Shut up, Weasley, or I'll tell the whole school about *your* crush." They were
staring daggers at each other when Snape stood up.
"Students," he said, "today, several students skipped my Potions class. I have been
informed that they visited Hogsmeade unauthorized. All fifth-year Gryffindors will report to
my office for detention immediately after dinner."
"But I didn't do anything!" Harry protested.
"Those rats!" Ron fumed. A voice cut through the commotion. It was Malfoy.
"Hah! Take that, you Mudblood filth!" Hermione stood up and jumped on the table,
seizing a baked potato.
"Take that back, Malfoy!"
Malfoy jumped onto his table. "Make me, Mudblood!"
"All right, Malfoy, you asked for it." With the whole school watching, Hermione flung
the potato across the hall. It hit Malfoy right in the face, causing him to topple over into
a large bowl of tomato soup. He rolled off the table and slowly stood up, his robes dripping
with soup. Wordlessly, he picked up another potato, studied it for a second, and flung it
towards the Gryffindor table. It landed on top of a seventh-year's head. For a moment there
was silence. Then the Great Hall erupted as students grabbed handfuls of food threw them
every which way. Rolls, potatoes, pasta flew through the air towards random destinations. One
Ravenclaw student got a bowl of soup over the head, causing a huge stampede towards the
Slytherin table. Armed with potatoes, I battled my way through the fighting crowd until I
faced Malfoy.
"What?" He glared at me.
"Nobody insults my friends and gets away with it," I declared.
"Oh yeah?" Malfoy sneered. "What are *you* going to do about it?"
I held up the potato. "This," I replied, and threw it straight at his head. There was
a pause as he flailed his arms, and then he fell straight over backwards. A roll fell out of
the air and bounced off his nose. I laughed, grabbed some pasta, and fought my way back to
the Gryffindor table, still grinning.
An hour later, everyone lay sprawled on the ground, covered in food- or at least
something that resembled food. Martha Stewart wandered in, looking confused, took one look
around, and shrieked.
"EEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! That is NOT the proper way to serve baked potatoes!!!" She ran
screaming from the hall. Ron sat up and looked at me.
"Well," I said, "that was..."
"Scary," Ron supplied.
"Thank you."
"Students, may I have your attention please?" Dumbledore stood up, removing a bit of
pasta from his glasses. "It seems that you've all been- erm- punished enough, so the fifth-
year Gryffindors may forego detention." All the students stood up and left, probably for the
showers, scraping food from their hair and robes. Finally, only a few of us were left. Fred
and George had conjured up a box and were shoveling food into it.
"What in the world are you *doing*?" I asked them.
"Sending it to Mum," Fred said.
"Yeah," added George. "That was fun. We reckon Mum should make this sometime!"
Shaking my head, I joined Harry, Ron and Hermione as we headed back up to Gryffindor
Tower.
Halfway there, Hermione stopped suddenly. "Do you smell something?"
"It wasn't me," Harry said quickly. I sniffed the air.
"That's odd," I remarked, "I think it's bleach!" Just then, Mrs. Norris trotted
around the corner. Instead of her usual dust-gray, she was now a blinding white. The eeeevil
white cat stopped in front of us, blinked a few times, and dashed off to get Filch.
"Oh, great," said Hermione, "another detention. Exactly what we need after getting
*out* of one."
"Let's run," suggested Harry. We did, all the way up to the Fat Lady's portrait.
"What did you do *now*?"
"Never mind- gillyweed!" The portrait swung forward and we headed up to our dorms to
get our things for the showers.
Care of Magical Creatures the next day was a bit strange. Hagrid gave us his usual
"be careful with these, they don' like bein' poked much" speech, and then he brought out a
large crate. Everyone groaned, but looked inside anyway. What we saw was shocking, all right.
Inside were several three-foot-tall, purple-
"DUCKS??????"
"Yeh, I found 'em on the lake this mornin'. Though' it migh' be fun ter see wha'
they're like." We figured it was better than skrewts, so we headed inside the cabin to get
something to feed them. Suddenly we realized that several of the Slytherins were missing.
"Ooooh, I think they're skipping," Lavender said.
Ron made a face. "Facilis descensus averni," he remarked. I stared.
"Latin too?"
"Yep, and I meant it. Skipping Hagrid's class is Not. Good." Suddenly, there was a
loud commotion from outside. We ran to see what it was. Lying on the ground was an enormous,
blue-and-green striped egg. Dumbledore walked up with Hagrid just as we saw it.
"Oh... my... goodness..." Dumbledore gasped, staring at the ducks, Hagrid, and the
egg. "Hagrid, do you know what these creatures *are*?"
~TO BE CONTINUED~
Another AIT Note: Ha! Cliffhanger again! Evilness, it's fun, yes it is.....
Yet another AIT Note: I missed the previous challenge, i sowwy.... *sniffies*
And another AIT Note: Join the AMSS! (it stands for Anti-Mary Sue Society) The name kind of
explains it, and yes it is a bit hyper. Well, really, *I* started it, what did you expect?
Sanity? I thought not...
The very last AIT Note: REVIEW! Or else I shall pluck yonder dagger from the air, and slice
thy cursed head off! (AIT's been at Macbeth rehearsal again....) ANYway, REVIEW! And have a
hyperiffically funnyness day!!!!!!!!