Setting: Inside the castle in the huge Grand Hall. Van Helsings standing around, still looking for that pool. He's wearing swimming trunks, sunglasses, and a Hawaiian T-shirt. Dracula appears out of nowhere, very confused.
Dracula: Uh... How did you get in here?
Van Helsing: I FLEW!
Dracula: Riight. What are you doing here?
Van Helsing: Pool party! Duhr. Why do you think I'm dressed like this?
Dracula: (childishly) What pool party. I didn't invite you. I don't invite losers.
Van Helsing: (stops) What did you call me?
Dracula: You heard me! Losers. (Smirks)
Van Helsing: I am NOT a loser! My mommy told me so!
Dracula: (confused) Well... how does it feel to be the left hand of God and not... the... RIGHT ONE? (Smiles triumphantly)
Van Helsing: (gasps) You cut off God's hand? He's gonna be ma-ad.
Dracula: See. If you don't even know what you're talking about, you can't come. (Sticks tongue out at Van Helsing) Loser.
Van Helsing: I am not a loser!
Van Helsing, angered by Dracula's schoolyard-bully insults, starts shedding his skin. His face lengthens into a muzzle, dark fur sprouting from his skin as he turns. Dracula turns as well, screeching as he changes into his demon form.
Van Helsing's Werewolf Mind: Hmm. Squeaky toy? Yay!
A bloody battle ensues, Van Helsing chasing after Dracula for most of it while the Vampire runs away screaming. It's not long before the Werewolf catches him and bits his throat (like in the movie; ohh, we're original). Van Helsing's Werewolf side is sad about the fact that his new toy is now "broken."
Carl comes out of nowhere, running for Van Helsing with the syringe of Antidote. He jabs it into the beast's back and Van Helsing slowly returns to normal, still wearing tattered swimming trunks, but there's a problem. Van Helsing's Werewolf tail is still present, sticking out of the seat of his pants and his ears are still triangular like a wolf's.
Van Helsing: That was very nice of you to cure me, Carl, but.. Uh... I don't think it totally works.
Carl: Oh... Well, there's not much I can do about that, now is there? I suppose we could get you to a doctor and-
Van Helsing: No! (Cuddles tail) I've grown too attached to it.
Tai: Don't you mean it's grown too attached to YOU?
Van Helsing: No! (Looks around) Hey. Where's Anna?
Moon: (walks in holding a bloody radio antenna, her shirt slightly stained with blood) I 'unno. Maybe she didn't quite make it. Aleera's pretty tough, you know.
Tai: O.o A radio antenna? C'mon, Moon. You can do better than that.
Van Helsing: Well, I s'pose it's time to be getting out of here.
Later: Van Helsing, Carl, Moon, and Tai are all at a party, celebrating the death of Dracula and his evil brides.
Van Helsing: You know. This whole adventure's been pretty great. I just can't help but feel that we've forgotten something.
Carl: I'm sure if it was too important, we'd have noticed it missing.
THE END.
... Or is it?
Somewhere in the north Atlantic, a giant is very angry about a warm glass of water. Frankie's been floating at sea for longer than he can remember, but it feels like decades have passed by. The sound of a ship's horn can be heard and he looks up to see the see the words TITANIC drift by him just before metal bites into his floating home.
Frankie: Aw shit.
A few hours later, Frankie's still floating in a small(er) bit of ice.
Rose: Jack. Don't leave me, Jack. Please. (Sobbing)
Frankie: Oh, stop your whining.
Notes:
Well, folks, it seems we've reached our final chapter. And chapter thirteen, too! Ohh. Spooky! That's the end of this particular spoof, but there's sure to be more in the future. We thank everyone for the reviews and the support. WE LOVE YOU OUR LOYAL FANS! Keep watching for new spoofs on either of our Fanfic accounts.
-Moon and Tai