Hello everybubbles!

I came up with this story after an episode, and I wrote it the next day. I wasn't able to get off my computer! Anyway, I hope you like it.

Disclaimer; I don't own anything, but my birthday is coming up?
Spoilers; "solitude" (season 1)
Pairings; JackSam and DanielJanet
Warnings; none
Credits; Goooo ARUMANIIII! (For checking my horrid grammar)

The gossip goes with the unseen

McDinter's POV

They call it a secret organisation. Military stuff. Top secret.

Well, I can tell you one thing.

Nothing is secret for old McDinter.

Now, you might wonder who that is. Well, that's me.

I've been the janitor for the SGC for what, 5 years? And never, ever have I sworn secrecy. Good thing too.

They all think that I'm stupid. A crazy, silent, unnoticeable 'cleaner'. No such luck. I now all the ins and outs of this facility. If you want to hear the latest news, you just have to check up on me, Miss Berry from the canteen, or Nurse Joyce. Together we now all the gossip. Life isn't that boring when you pay attention.

Being one of us has its advantages. Nobody sees us, or pays attention to us. They talk about 'things' when they think that nobody is listening. That's why we know everything. We're invisible.

"SG-1, report to the generals office, ASAP!"

Ah, show time! You see, that team is my favourite. They've just got back from one of their missions. That means that they're in the lockers now, and it will take them 1.3 minutes to come around the corner. That is, for the most of them. Colonel O'Neill mostly gets late, or he didn't bother changing at al.

There they are. First to come up; Samantha Carter. She's an astrophysicist. That should mean that she's smarter than a simple janitor. Yeah right. A few days ago, I walked into her lab to pick up the trash. I found her asleep on her desk, with some instrument before her. When I passed her, I could hear her mumbling in her sleep. "Stupid alien technology. I'll get it to workzzzzz."

Of course this meant that she couldn't get this thing to work. So I picked it up, just to look. I repair a lot of stuff around this place, maybe I could help, aye? I grabbed one of my screwdrivers, and began picking at it. Found the problem in no time. It began humming, so I figured it worked now. Silently, I put it back on her desk, emptied the trashcan, and left.

An hour later, I heard her screaming a few halls away. When I turned around the corner, she dashed out of her lab, yelling that the device finally worked. Hehe, not bad for a janitor, aye?

She does that a lot, falling asleep on her desk. If you ask me, that girl needs to get ordered to go home and sleep. Not that she says interesting things when she sleeps. She doesn't mumble about alien devices all the time, no sir! She dreams a lot about her CO too. And not so innocent dreams, I can tell ya. You may fill up the rest for yourselves, hehe.

Next on the run; Daniel Jackson. That is, if he isn't in some hospital bed already. Joyce can tell you some interesting stories about that later.

Ah yes, Doctor Jackson's room. A place filled with dust-collecting books, artefacts and other strange things. He doesn't sleep there, he reads. Sometimes he doesn't even notice me. Then he starts rambling against himself about the books he's holding, or whatever it is. Interesting, you say? Do the words 'boring' and 'dull' say anything to you?

It sounds pretty tedious to be in Jackson's room, but the fun really starts when Colonel O'Neill walks in and starts juggling with some priceless, unique artefacts. The look on the doctor's face is priceless. But we'll get back to the colonel when he comes around the corner, shall we?

Now, you may think that Daniel Jackson is a boring, silent, shy man. A bit of a geek too. Make that a lot.

But when you're a janitor, you find things that might change your view on someone. One word; The Rolling Stones.

Alright, so that's three words, who cares. All I'm saying is that our geek is a big fan of some old rock 'n rollers. Who would have thought that? Try to imagine a Daniel, giving an air-guitar solo in his living room, pretending to be Keith Richards. Talking about weird.

So, who's following? Teal'c of course!

Now, there are not so many exciting stories about Teal'c. Nor about his room. It's just four walls filled with a bed, a table and a lot of candles. Do you know how hard it is to get all that candle wax of that table? Yuck.

Now, that's about it for the first group. All that's left to us now, is wait. Wait for our beloved Colonel Jack O'Neill.

….

Thum, thumthum….

….

Ah, there he is!

Just look at him. He comes around the corner, hands in his pockets, no worries at all, walking towards the general's office to hear what exciting new rock Daniel has found this time to see. Silently he's hoping to run into some Goa'ulds, or at least a squirrel that suddenly found the urge to protect those rocks and attacks them. You never know when you're a member of the SGC….

There are many answers to the question why I like Jack so much. Well, for one, he's the only one who sees me when I walk in. That man might not act like it, but he's a very smart, attentive man. Whenever I step into a room, he immediately sees me. And when I come into his office, he always has time to chat. The stories he can tell…

He is also very funny and cheerful. Another thing I like about him. He's always there to cheer up the team, and he looks after his friends. Especially his 2IC. Hehe, yes the gossip never ends around here.

Some say that a room can tell a lot about the owner's character. See for yourself if they are correct.

When I walk in, I always have to be careful not to trip over something, like files, weapons, a skateboard, etc. Then there is that huge pile of papers in his in-box. You see why he always as time for me?

And although others complain about his area's work, he always gets it done, somehow.

On his walls are some pictures and a poster of the Simpsons. I always like to look at the pictures when I dust them. He has a few of him and his team, one of him in the army with his best friend back then, and one of him and Hammond. And he always looks happy, grinning his way at the photographer. I once found a picture of Samantha under his desk. I carefully put it next to his computer. He walked in on the moment that I was about to leave. When I turned to close the door, I saw him standing behind his desk, holding the picture, giving me a lopsided grin. Great man, O'Neill.

And then we have that computer. How many times did I have to repair it for him? He always breaks it, although he claims not to know how to type a letter on it. Only games fill up the hard drive. So he says.

I once found a file with documents while I had to repair it again. Every document contained a letter to Sam, in which he tried to ask her out. Too bad we all know he'll never be able to send them to her, because of the regs. Poor man. All three of us know how much those two love each other. We're trying our best, trust me. You have no idea how much influence we have on this base.

And there he goes, on his way to save the world. Or at least Daniel from a hyperactive squirrel.

Well, it's time to check out the weapons stock. So many dust, so little time.

But in the mean time, check up on Miss Berry. You can find her in the kitchen. See you around!

Where are those stupid tomatoes…?

Oh hi there! Did McDinter send you? Well, I'm Miss Berry, head of the canteen. Sounds like a stupid job, doesn't it? Wrong! People really start talking during a good lunch, so the stories are everywhere. And look at the time, you came at the right moment! Lunchtime will begin within half an hour, so I'll be able to tell you some things that you can see later on!

That old bloke already introduced you to our flag-team, right? Good, then we'll go straight on to the good stuff.

Like he likes to say that you can tell things about character by someone's room, I think that the choices of the meal say a lot about their ways too! For instance, that man over there. He always gets here before lunchtime. Heavens know why, because my lunch is the best! But he always gets a slice of apple-pie. I bake fresh apple-pie everyday. And every day he comes at least half an hour before lunch, gets himself some pie and coffee, and goes sitting over there in the corner. Well, I can tell you one thing. That man is in love, but he can't tell her, or she doesn't love him back. My apple-pie is a good remedy against a broken heart, but it seems that it doesn't work for him. I've been trying to find out who it is, and we know one thing for certain; she isn't from the SGC. Yeah, I know; some detective work, huh? But he, we go to the borders of this mountain. We don't know anything beyond this place of our members.

But that doesn't mean that there isn't enough gossip around here. People love to stop by in the kitchen to check up the latest news.

Watch out! Don't sit over there, sweetie, or you'll break our spy-system. Yeah, you heard me right. One of the technicians is a regular visitor of my gossip-factory. I once complained that I couldn't hear enough about what was discussed at the tables. So he came back the next day with a set of mini-microphones. We installed them underneath every table. Now we can hear the good stuff!

Now, if you want to hear more, you'll have to help, or else lunch won't be ready in time. Just grab a few potatoes and peel them. We're eating beans with boiled potatoes and cutlets today!

Of course I have my favourite customers. That Jack O'Neill for instance. I'm not married, but if I was, it would be a guy like him, I tell you! He always gives me one of those handsome grins when he takes his plate away. Hmmm….

Oh, sorry love! I've let myself go again, hehe! But that colonel isn't the only handsome face around here. Many women have next to their picture of Jack a picture of the cute doctor Jackson! Except for doctor Frasier, but that's a story for Joyce to tell. Yes, cute Daniel Jackson. I have a special pack of his favourite coffee, for when the coffee machine falls out. To bad he's so young, though. Well, I give my congrats to the girl that gets him. Nope, it's not a bad life as a canteen cook, especially when you're surrounded by handsome Air Force militaries and intelligent cute men!

Just between you and me, but I don't think we have a chance with Colonel O'Neill. Just the way he looks at his 2IC, and you know that something's going on. Stupid regs…

Ah, you're ready! Drop them in that pan over there and fill it with water. Ed will put them on the stove, won't you Edward? Good thing that I've got a big crew, because I've got lots of tummies to fill!

We've got a little 15 minutes left, so I'll show you where everybody sits during lunch. Follow me!

Over there, by the door, is the table of the gate-room people. They're really close friends, because they work so much together. Really nice people.

Right here, in the middle, is the place for SG-1. Keep your eyes on this table later on! Luckily for us, we've got a good view from behind the counter.

Here are the scientists. Most of the time that creepy guy keeps peeking at Carter. He's secretly in love with her. Secret, that's what he thinks. To bad for him he doesn't stand a change against our sexy Colonel. Did I just say that? Hihi…

Here are the technicians most of the time, and over here the doctors and nurses. The other people don't have a regular seat, so you'll have to look around later on.

You go back to the kitchen, and I'll chat up with the guy in the corner. It's almost time, so he's about to leave. Let's see what I can get out of him today…

-

I'm back! Ah, and right on time. That's the bell for the lunch! Now, stay right behind me, and I'll tell you the details while I'm serving the food.

And look who's coming in! It looks like they've just gotten a nice presentation from Daniel. No offence, the guy is adorable, but he can talk so long about such boring things…

First in line, O'Neill of course. That man can eat! Just look; he grabs himself a few sandwiches, some jell-o, a plate with lunch for today, and now he's coming up to us for some apple-pie! How does he stay in shape? Ehm, yes, running around with a Goa'uld on your heels helps. Shh, here he comes!

"Morning, Miss Berry."

"Good morning, Colonel. Had a nice presentation by Doctor Jackson, I presume?"

Look at how he grumbles! Isn't he cute?

"Yeah, and it was really interesting. Especially the part about the fascinating junk."

"Hey!"

And there we have the other cute one. Aw, he's pouting at Jack! Adorable!

"Jack, that wasn't junk I showed you, it was the leftovers of the population."

"In other words; junk. Thanks for the pie, Berry, you're the best."

See? See? Doesn't he grin drop-dead-gorgeous? And now comes another good part; the walk to the table. Check out the behind… Hihi! Yes, my life is wonderful.

And there we have Sam. She doesn't take that much, just the lunch for today. And Teal'c, well, he just eats whatever he gets. Someone has got to teach him something about taste.

Quick, turn on the microphone of their table! Frequency 5! Ed, take over for me, will ya?

Let's see what they're discussing…

"What do you mean, I gave him the wrong formula? I adjusted the upper bio molecules together with the fysica-."

I said 5, not 4! That's the scientists' table! Here, let me handle this…

"…so you can look at those things? That's not fair! If you want to see junk we can stay right here and go to my office!"

Ah, I see that Jack isn't agreeing with their new mission. And if McDinter is telling the truth, it really is a dump in his office.

"Jack, for the last time; it isn't junk. Who knows what important things we might discover?"

"Yeah, well…"

"Hmm, this cutlet is really good!"

Nice move, Sammy!

"Huh? What? Well anyway, I… crap, now I don't remember what I was talking about."

Hihi, very nice move. Because when those two start arguing, it can get really dangerous over there! If O'Neill is convinced that the planet is boring, he really doesn't want to go.

"I don't think I understand the meaning of the phrase "love goes with the stomach." Would you care to explain, Daniel Jackson?"

Look at Jack and Sam! They're blushing! They always do that whenever someone says the word 'love' and they look at each other at the same moment. Wait a sec… Am I seeing that right? Go stand over there, love, you're taller than me. What are they doing? Under the table?

Yes! They are! I can see it! She's caressing his leg with her foot! Quick John, grab the photo camera! Oh, Joyce is gonna love this! Look, he's turning red! And see her grinning! She's teasing him! Now, it's a good thing Hammond isn't here, or else…

I had to say it, didn't I?

When everything it going well, Hammond shows up. Why is he here anyway? He never goes down to the canteen; Marty always brings him his tray.

Oh, hi Marty.

MARTY?

You idiot, what are you doing here!

What do you mean, you forgot!

It's time to take action, or else Jack and Sam will get busted!

"Major Carter, would you come over here for a sec?"

She's not so happy with me now. Too bad, it was for her own good. Here she comes…

"What is it, miss Berry?"

"Ah, good to see you again miss Berry."

Ah, now she gets it. See her freeze at Hammond's voice. She now knows that if I hadn't called her, things would have gone really wrong.

"T, t, thanks miss Berry."

"No problem, sweetheart."

She knows that I know now. I gave her a good wink.

"Sorry for your lunch, general. Marty forgot."

Quick, go to the nursery before he sees you! If he finds out…

It was nice spying on my customers with you, we definitely have to do this again sometime, I have so much more to tell! Have fun with Joyce!

Joyce do this, Joyce do that. It's good that he isn't around all the time, or else…

Ah, there you are! McDinter stopped by an hour ago to tell me about you. Come in, before that stupid Carmichael sees you. Doctor Frasier isn't here right now, but she'll be back in a few minutes. She's at the canteen, eating lunch. Maybe you've seen her. She's really nice.

Well, I'm Joyce the assistant nurse. I'm the youngest of our gossip-trio. That doesn't mean I know less! I can tell you about things I hear when people are lying here sick, revealing secrets in their sleep, or when they visit each other and I'm behind the screen. And then I haven't said anything about doctor Frasier! The sparks between her and that cute Daniel Jackson…

Besides hearing the latest gossip from patients and other nurses, I also have nice jobs to fulfil. Like checking out well-build, half naked military men, while Janet checks them for injuries. And sometimes I have to stick needles in their but. Hihi, yes, my job has its bright sides. Too bad that the doc keeps that sexy O'Neill and cute Daniel for herself. Ah well, at least I can watch.

So what do you hear as a nurse when people are lying sick? Well, what about the time when Sam lay here sick together with Jack? They were both trapped on Antarctica for the last few days. They had already been nursed at camp something-something, and now they were here, resting. They thought that they were all alone. Hehe, no such luck. I was standing behind the curtains of the bed next to Sam's. When I heard them talking, I quietly set down, not wanting to get caught.

"Hey Jack."

She was using his first name! This was going to be good…

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry I didn't think of dialling to a different world. We would have gotten out faster if I had."

He sighed.

"Sam, it wasn't your fault. You did a great job there, trying to get us home. I'm really proud of you. Even though you can't set a leg."

She chuckled.

"And for lying on my broken ribs."

Yes, he really said that! That means that she was lying almost on top of him! McDinter, Berry and me have been trying to get those two together for a long time, but it seems that they're helping themselves too!

"I'm sorry for that too."

"You'd better be."

She chuckled again.

"I'm glad we aren't dead," she whispered.

Go figure.

"There is so much left that I have to do…"

Hint! Hint! If he wasn't getting this one, I would have jumped from behind that curtain, shaking his broken shoulders until he'd got it.

"Yeah, me too."

With that, he fell asleep. I peeked between the curtains, and guess what I saw? Sam was sitting there, in her bed, looking at Jack. She had that lovely smile of her on her face, and was softly crying. I felt really sorry for her. She loves him, we know, but those stupid regs…

I once heard Daniel telling Janet about all these alternate realities where Sam wasn't in the military and they were both happily married. Well, if that isn't a hint, I don't know what is.

But now we're talking about Daniel and Janet, I've got some spicy stories about those two!

Like I said, there's a very clear spark! And while McDinter and Berry keep an eye on Jack and Sam, I surely look after the doc!

It's sad but true; Daniel gets a lot of times into trouble, and ends up here in the infirmary. Sad? Hmm, maybe not. He sure gets to see Janet a lot. I wonder if he does it on purpose…

When Daniel is here, Janet can't be far away. She always says she's worried and stuff, but we know better. Just look at her when he comes in hurt. Sometimes I don't know if it's worry or lust I see in her eyes. He sure needs to get naked a lot if it's up to her! Well, up to his undies, that is. Which are cute too. Logic of course; a cute guy needs cute underwear, don't you think?

And then she starts looking for injuries. That contains squeezing him in his butt, touching him everywhere, etc. Sorry, doc, but you can't break your ass! But it seems that Daniel doesn't mind… Or he's just dumb and doesn't know you can't break it. I'm guessing the first. I'm hoping the first!

What does a doctor say to your family when you're sick? Right, that you need to rest. And that means that you need to be left alone. Good excuse for being alone with a not so injured archaeologist. And Hammond can't go against a doctor's order. All these stories make you want to become a doctor too, huh?

Every time SG-1 gets back from a mission, they need all this medication. Lots of it. Colonel O'Neill hates it. He hates scientist and doctors, so he claims. Except for one particular scientist that is, hihi. But anyway, he mostly hates them for all those needles. And when he's teasing Janet, she uses the big needle. She says that it shuts him up. For a while, that is. She never uses it on others for fun, only when necessary. The big one is reserved for Jack, hehe.

"Medical team to the gate room!"

Yikes! They always scare the hell outa me when they do that! All these lights going on, bells ringing, etc. Well, it seems that I need to get back to work. Any minute now, Janet comes dashing in with an injured SG-1 member. Or two. Or three. Hell, maybe all of them. How do I know that it's SG-1? Because they can't stay out of trouble, that's how.

They're coming, quick, get behind the screen!

"What happened Colonel?"

"We got shot, that's what happened! Ah, don't touch that, that hurts!"

"Joyce, give him some antibiotics!"

"Yes ma'm!"

"Daniel, Daniel speak to me. How many fingers do I show?"

"Eh, 12?"

"Great."

"Colonel, have you got any broken bones?" Please say yes….

"I've got no idea, everything hurts!" WOOHOOO! Complete check up!

"Hold still. Major, Teal'c, I need to ask you to wait outside if you are fine."

"Of course, nurse. No we're fine, we'll go away."

Hey! I have to grab this and then I'll need to get back, but Janet is busy with Daniel so I can check up the Colonel! Yessss! Stay behind this screen, okay?

"Alright Colonel, take off your gear and shirt, I need to check if you have any broken ribs."

"Humph."

"Colonel?"

"Huh?"

"Are you okay, sir?"

"Yeah, but my head hurts."

"Don't worry, I'll help. Let's get that heavy gear off. So. Now take off your shirt. Good. Are you dizzy, sir?"

"Big time."

"We'll fix that in a sec. Okay, tell me when it hurts, alright?"

"Okay. Nope. No, no pain. Don't feel a thing. Ah! Yes that hurts!"

"Darn, I think you've broken a rib. That means…"

"Yeah, yeah, I know; lots of rest. Great, we've been off-world for 10 minutes and now I'm grounded for at least 10 days."

"I'll give you a sedative so I can fix it."

"Not in my butt, please."

"Hihi, don't worry. There, that wasn't so hard? Now let me get you something for that wound on you leg."

Hihi! That was great! He already looks muscular, but you should feel it! I think you really should look at Daniel and Janet for a moment, to check out what's going on! I can't keep an eye on them; I already need both to look at the Colonel!

"Okay Daniel, can you tell me now what happened?"

"Ehm, we were walking in the forest of P3… no, P4…. well P something, and suddenly all these men came running at us, shooting with weapons. They weren't that advanced, but they sure worked."

"Is that right Colonel?"

"Yup."

"Sir, you need to lift your leg for a sec, I need to put the bandage around it."

"Fine."

"Ooh, aren't we talkative today."

"Thanks doc."

"Done. Alright, you'll need to stay here for at least a week, sir."

"Sweet."

"Don't worry, Daniel needs to stay here as well, Colonel. It seems that he has a small concussion."

"Which means he can get out of here before I do."

"Well, at least your team-mates are ready to visit you, I see."

"Hi Sam, Teal'c, I think you can come in now."

Did you see that! She was peeking through the window at him. I'm ready now, but I need to whisper, or else they'll notice you. Too bad for Janet that Daniel only had a concussion, don't you think?

Well, it seems that the Colonel is ready for his 'I'm-sick-and-bored-so-I'm-annoying-you' torture. And I also need to watch over Daniel, or else Janet is going to squeeze him to dead now he's unconscious.

Hey, McDinter! I'm guessing that he's going to take over from here. See ya!

Hey, did you have fun? You see, being one of us isn't boring; it's exciting! Nobody hears or sees more than we do. By the way, I found this paper in Hammond's trash-can. I think you'll find this interesting after everything you've seen today. It's a copy from a letter from Mister President himself! It's about O'Neill and Carter; read it on your way home. You'll love what our big boss has to say...

Safe journey home, and I hope you'll come back one day!

The story turned out to be a bit different then I hoped, but I stil like it. The jokes suck anyway. Tell me what you thought of it, will ya? Thanks!

-xxx- Lihanou