Shall We Talk?
By: Moments of Insanity
Date : 7 Feb 2005
Disclaimer: Nope, not mine.
The title of the series is from a song by Eason Chan, though the lyric of the songs have zilch to do with the story.
First up is an exploration of the relationship between Kira and Cagalli. Something that I thought the animation didn't do justice.
English is not my first language and my understanding of grammar is still shaky. If there are any mistakes, please drop me a note. And finally please review. It's nice to know someone is reading these sniplets.
Cagalli sighed as the door slid into place. She frowned slightly; he was not resting in his room.
With a childish urge to stomp her feet in frustration, she stalked off to continue her search. It had been three days since the war ended and preparations for peace talks were underway. Currently the status of Archangel, Eternal, and Kusanagi was not known; hence they were in a hiatus waiting for further information or action from Zaft or Earth Alliance. People used these emotional days after the war to recuperate and grieve for their losses.
She sighed and let her feet wandered around. It had been two days since they made back here alive. The first day, he slept, taking refuge in the dreams as he healing both physically and mentally. The second day, in the morning she became a third wheel in the room and in the afternoon, communication between the Zaft and Earth Alliances took up most of her time. Not that she need to be there for any decision making, but it would be good opportunity to learn how to be diplomatic; a trait that she would need to polish for the future.
She wrinkled her nose in annoyance.
She only wanted to talk to him privately.
How hard could that be?
"Kira, Kira" she muttered under her breath, "you are dead when I get my hands on you."
She looked up when her feet stopped before the door. She frowned slightly as her head cocked to the side while she tried to orientate herself. Finally she recognized that the said door was the one leading to the hangar. She pursed her lips and wondered if he would be there; a place that held multitude of meanings.
She stepped passed the threshold, and shuddered at the somber atmosphere. It was a graveyard for Gundams. It was unusually quiet with all the technicians were taking their much needed break. Cagalli mused at the new atmosphere, she never saw the hangar with this ambiance; usually people's shout and clashing sounds of mechanic parts filled the space. She floated along the catwalk and noticed the Duel and Buster were now docked in the hanger. Her Rouge looked quite nauseating without the head. She stifled a laugh, first fight and her Gundam already declared a total lost. It was eerie but in a nice way. It was a statement weapons would no longer be needed.
She stretched her arms above her head and felt the tension drained away from her shoulders. It was nice to be alone sometimes.
"Torii. Torii."
She grinned widely. Bingo, her trusty twin radar struck gold again. She listened carefully before her ears picked up the sounds of typing and the flapping of mechanic wings. She quickly pushed against the banister, changing her direction and floated toward the headless plus limbless freedom.
Finally, beneath the catwalk, in the cockpit, there he was typing away.
"Kira?" she called softly.
"Cagalli," amethyst eyes widen, as Kira looked up to see his sister.
"Can we talk?"
"Sure, ah. wait, just some final touches," Kira answered while his fingers flew across the keyboard with speed.
Cagalli frowned, a bit miffed to be ignored and rested her head on her arms that were folded on the barrister, and waited. After a moment, and with a great sigh, she vaulted herself over the balustrade and gently floated down into the cockpit, her arms folded and legs cross as in a sitting posture.
Kira's eye widened as Cagalli floated down, he hastily folded the key board away, hands up until Cagalli settled softly on his lap.
"Couldn't you wait?" Kira sighed, his hand ran through his hair.
"I did," came the impertinent reply.
"It was only an extra ten minutes."
"I spent hours looking for you," Cagalli snorted, her amber eyes flashed dangerously as if to warn her brother. Of course he wouldn't need to know that she stretched the truth a bit.
Kira gave up, "do you want to speak outside? The cockpit wasn't designed for two people." Cagalli nodded and climbed out.
Both settled on the cold hard metal floor in front of the broken body of Freedom. Kira sat Indian style, his eyes traced the scars and dents on the metal body of the Gundam. It had served its master well and saved Kira from much harm. It was good to say Freedom had fulfilled its destiny.
Cagalli sat with her legs stretched out in front. She spied Kira at the corner of her eyes. She pursed her lips and wondered where to start. Her little brother looked pale and tired, his amethyst eyes were no longer ones that she knew, in a way clouded with sadness.
"So what's up?" Kira asked quietly, refusing to look at his sister. After all eyes were the windows to the soul.
"Family bonding time," was the pert reply. Kira smiled softly and welcomed the bubbly feeling that gently washed over him. "Of course, the older sister must always look out for the wayward little brother." She reached over and ruffled his hair fondly. "Damn, you have softer hair than I have," Cagalli muttered under her breath.
Kira cocked his eyebrows in a way that spoke volume to Cagalli's older sister claim. Cagalli in turn just rolled her eyes and ignored Kira's silent objection.
"So why aren't you in bed?" Cagalli asked, picking a lint off her cargo pants, "You are lucky that Lacus has a meeting right now, at the communication bridge otherwise she would be very upset with you;" before adding softly, "but in a way, I'm glad she's having a meeting," Kira raised his eyebrow at Cagalli's statement. She smirked whimsically and clarified, "this is the only time I can have a talk with you privately without the two hanging over my shoulders. But you just have to pull a disappearing act on me. Waste of time hunting you down." She frowned in a mocking manner that Kira bit back a grin.
"Do you know how annoyed I am with Athrun and Lacus right now?" Cagalli continued, brushing his bang from his face so that she could clearly see him. Kira's eyes flickered to the side so to avoid eye contact, Cagalli smiled sadly and continued as if she didn't see the action, "With Lacus is always by your side, I never have any time with you. You would think the girl is your shadow. Also Athrun. Don't even let me start on him."
Kira snickered softly, while Cagalli shot him an annoyed look and glowered. She settled back so that she faced him while continued ranting, forcing Kira to look at her, "He kept dogging my steps for the last three days, every time I tried to find you or try to speak to you privately, dragging me away to give time to you and lacus. You would think he has an ulterior motive. Do you know what I had to do to get rid of him? I had to climb the air duct of the female bathroom to escape from his stalking!" She huffed in indignation, gesturing the dirt that gathered on her clothes during her crawl.
Kira sighed exasperatedly, "You shouldn't do that," he admonished while a frowned marred his calm expression, "what if some accident occurs that needs to cut off the ducts?" Cagalli waved them off as if they were not important. "And you called yourself the eldest," Kira muttered under his breath, perturbed by Cagalli's action..
"What does that have to do with me being the eldest?" Cagalli asked, looking offended.
"A lot. That shows that you never think before you jump." Kira frowned at his sister, somehow irrationally upset that a stranger who turned out to be his only blood relative. Cagalli disregarded her wellbeing again. "This is not the first time you did this." Cagalli puzzled expressions prompted him to say sarcastically, "need me to list them to you as well?"
"Case one: first time I saw you, you were running toward an explosion. Most sane people would be running away from an explosion. Case two, in the desert, you went into a battle knowing the odds were against you. Case three, you jumped into a heated argument with a known enemy who was holding a gun. Case four, you disappeared to god knows where, when sky grasper 2 shot down. Case five, strike rouge. Ring a bell? The now headless MS?" his voice spoke volume of his displeasure. "Somehow I wonder if I actually have a brother," he muttered softly.
"I heard that," Cagalli scowl, she folded her arms in protest; "gender is not an issue here," she warned.
"No, I think its your personality," Kira sighed, slightly bewildered how his sister's personality differed from his, like ying and yan.
"You're nagging, Kira. Beside I have been trained before; I actually had more training then you," Cagalli protested self-righteously with a little toss of her head, "just I never had any real experience."
"That, itself, is enough to kill you," Kira interrupted her sharply, "Tolle died because of his inexperience," amethyst eyes suddenly dulled at the painful memories.
Cagalli slumped and fought down the urge to pout, instead she sat silently like a chastised child. She stole a peek at her brother and felt her heart tugged painfully in guilt when his face took on a sad bitter look. Hastily she reached over and hugged Kira gently. Kira closed his eyes and resting his head on her shoulder, feeling the tension leaving his shoulders. The action brought memories of the day, on the deck.
Kira slowly pulled away, "Do you always hug people you don't know?" His voice took on a slight note of accusation.
Cagalli looked puzzle; she sat back down, this time beside Kira, "don't you like being hugged? Father, when he hug me I would feel as if I am the most precious thing in the world." She smiled painfully at the memory. Both sat in silence for a while. "No." Cagalli suddenly said.
"Sorry?"
"Your question. I don't just hug anyone. I am not really affectionate. I surprise even myself when I hugged you that day," Cagalli replied softly. "But I felt myself with you. More relax maybe?"
"Maybe, you always had an angry expression," Kira reached over and gently rub the skin between her brow. "You've changed,"
"So have you."
"I did, Maybe to the worst."
"No, not really. You were a child. Same like me with no concept of the real world," Cagalli gave a bitter smile, scenes of the heated arguments between her father and herself, Mwu's agitated commands during the battles and the slap from Kira ran through her mind. "Then you were a wimp," at Kira's chagrin, "you were," Cagalli insisted. "But now you have this strength in your eyes, older and much wiser." She smiled proudly. "It's bizarre to see you change every time I find you."
"Find?"
"Yep, I have a trusty twin radar."
At Kira's skeptical expression, "I seem to be able to find you anywhere. Twice? Is it? Once was to say farewell. You do know how big Arch Angel is. The second was when I heard you were alive." Cagalli laughed sheepishly, "say I'm a bit of a mush, am I not? I worry myself to death over you and nearly gunned Athrun down when he admitted he killed you."
"And I seem to be able to rile you up without even trying," Cagalli continued musing to herself, Kira cocked his head as if to ask a silent question. "Twice," she confirmed. "Including today which is quite a feat if what Miri and Athrun saying you're a pushover is true."
"I'm not a pushover," he protested
"Yep," Cagalli nodded sagely "no little brother of mine is a pushover, just a bit too sensitive and kind and nice. Athrun said you rarely get upset or angry. So if I manage to riled you up, I must be someone special."
"You don't agreel?" Cagalli asked, amusement flickered in her amber eyes. "Say, if Miri did what I did, piloting a MS, will you be upset?"
Kira shook his head, "because she would have to get through Tolle first."
"What about Fllay?"
Kira paused, a fresh wave of guilt gnawed at his soul.
"Wrong question is it?" Cagalli asked softly.
"She is my responsibility." Kira answered stiffly. "I don't know," he trailed off helplessly.
"If she wasn't your responsibility, but Ssai's. Would you?" Cagalli prompted. A pregnant paused filled the hanger. "Sorry, wrong question." Cagalli muttered and looked away, She somehow felt disappointed..
"No," Kira answered painfully.
"See, I told you I'm special."
"With a knack of frightening people to death." Kira added snidely.
"I do not." Cagalli huffed.
Both settled in a companionable silence before Cagalli settled her head on Kira shoulders, his amethyst eyes settled onto Gundam Rouge. "If I knew you're going to pilot rouge, the first thing I would do would be to corrupt the OS program," Kira said sourly, breaking the silence, "you always run head long into danger. Didn't Kisaka say anything about it?"
"He didn't know until I was in the hanger getting out. By that time he didn't really have much choice." Cagalli chortled before adding annoyingly, "beside he sent reinforcement along with me."
"Wise decision," Kira nodded, "but not as wise as keeping you here." Cagalli punched his arm lightly.
"He already gave me a long lecture about it, I certainly don't need one from my younger brother," Cagalli warned, "Beside I promised I would protect you and Athrun. How could I keep my promise if I stayed on the sidelines? I don't back up to my promises," Cagalli said as an explanation.
"I think in the end it would be the other way around."
Cagalli blushed angrily, her eyes flickered guiltily to Gundam Duel. She knew it was a fact that her skill was no where near Kira's or Athrun's, but to hear it from her brother was just a bit to condescending. "If I didn't go, I might just have lost both of you, especially with Athrun's suicidal tendency." She retorted stiffly. She felled silent when a sudden thought came to her as her face took on a pensive look.
"So what is the relationship between you and Athrun," Kira asked curiously.
"no..nothing," Cagalli somber expression return told Kira she was not truly listening.
"Should I be jealous of Athrun for keeping you from me?" Kira half jokingly asked, trying to provoke a reaction. He smiled warily, anticipating Cagalli's outburst when Cagalli's earlier complaint came back to him.
Cagalli glared at him and mumbled, "Actually I'm jealous of him."
"Huh?"
"Him because he was with you for all those years; he knows what you like, what you don't like. He knows who you are. And I have a blank sheet," Cagalli ended with a note of bitterness, her hand gestured her annoyance. "Though we're separated at birth, we are twins; we are the closest."
Kira smiled softly at Cagalli's miserable expression. "I don't know you either," he added as a consolidation.
Cagalli rolled her eyes, "that doesn't cheer me up much." She felled silent again. "So, what is your excuse that forced me to undergo such indignation?" Cagalli asked and knowing that Kira would have a puzzle expression, she clarified, "the climb through the air duct."
"I never forced you…" Kira muttered protestingly and smartly let that line of thought when Cagalli poked under his ribs warningly. He sighed, she was so stubborn, "With the war ended, the hardware and program of Freedom will have to be protected," Kira said, and in a softer voice hoping Cagalli couldn't hear, "and I need to think."
"Elaborate."
Kira grimaced and in a quiet voice, "life."
Suddenly she sat up, surprising Kira who found himself pinned down by a pair of steely amber eyes. "If you're thinking about suicide or any thing along that line of thoughts, I suggest you should have the decency to inform me first," Cagalli deadpanned, her eyes deadly serious. Kira eyes widened at the change in her tone. She cocked her head to the side and calmly said, "so that I could put a bullet into my heart first."
"Cagalli!"
She glared at Kira, her amber eyes suddenly took on a teary sheen, "what is with the suicidal tendency with people. First father, then you and not to mention that Athrun!" She spat out, "do you not think about the people you leave behind. Have you forgotten your promise?" She turned her face suddenly, feeling the tears ready to fall. She blinked furiously to keep the tears at bay.
"I have broken many promises already," Kira replied softly.
"Then break that habit, starting with mine." Cagalli snapped back, her amber eyes flashed with anger. "I can't deal with another heartbreak; I am not that strong," her normally strong voice suddenly wavered as she whispered, she bowed her head and let her wheat colored tresses obscure her face. She bit her lips and tried to suppress the raking sobs. Fresh waves of memories pulled onto the surface. The overwhelming feeling of desperation in her search for Kira, then anguish at Athrun's account of Kira's death again stabbed her heart. And as a key to a floodgate, emotions since Cagalli's short and inadequate farewell to her father and following monumental events that deny her the right to mourn poured out. Sobs quickly turned to cries when Kira somberly took her into his embrace. Cagalli instinctively wrapped her arms tightly around him, fist clenching his jacket as if he was her only anchor in a stormy sea.
"Why does everyone have to throw their lives away?" Cagalli cried hoarsely, her voice muffled by his shirt, "no matter what I do, I just can't keep people I care alive," she choked as words stumbled out.
Kira sat there with a thoughtful look on his face while his hand smoothed the golden tresses in a slow rhythm. Her sobs slowly died down, only an occasional shudder raked through her body. Both sat quietly and took comfort from the embrace while lost in their own thoughts. Minutes later, as Cagalli felt her emotion back under control, she reluctantly pulled out of Kira's embraced and wiped her face with the back of her hand. "Man, I feel stupid," she laughed lightly almost shyly, her eyes refusing to look at Kira's. "I'm sorry. I should be the one to comfort you and now it's the other way around."
"Thank you Cagalli," Kira whispered, amethyst eyes looked at the girl fondly. Cagalli looked quizzically at him. "I wondered why I didn't die in the explosion. Why am I still alive while other more worthy had died? These questions of my existence haunted me for the last few days. Then I realized because someone is still waiting for me." At Cagalli's unasked question, he clarified, "that you would cry, I figure Kisaka or your father would not be very please if I made you cry."
"You bet," Cagalli grinned weakly, softly punching his shoulder. She sighed tiredly, the conversation wore her out. She slowly and reluctantly got up. At Kira's puzzled look, she reached over and gave Kira a soft hug of reassurance, "I better go and wash my face, I must look horrendous right now." She pressed her lips gently against his forehead. "Beside I have to find the pilot of Duel."
"Yzak Jule? Why?"
"You're right, sad to say I'm not strong enough; He saved my life, I should thank him." Cagalli sadly smiled at her own confession. "Stay safe, little brother," she said softly and with a short wave, she moved to the door.
"Cagalli."
"Yeah?" She half turned and looked at her brother questioningly.
"I think I'm the eldest here."
Cagalli just blew a raspberry at him and floated off, and Kira smiled at fondly at her before climbing back into Freedom.
I had so much fun writing this, as I adore Cagalli and Kira is just soo cute . Next up will be Athrun and Miriallia. Please please review.