Notes: First of all, thank you very, very much to questofdreams and schye, my brilliant betas. Much, much love to the both of you.
One of the scariest moments in Naruto's life occurred when his climax triggered Sasuke's Sharingan, and of course he couldn't say anything about it right then because his mouth was already occupied with "Oh,yeah!" and-
whiteness behind his eyelids-
oh god that felt so good, you bastard, don't you dare stop-
and-
and Sasuke's Sharingan-
...which, Naruto said several hours later, after they had both woken up rumpled and flaky, was creepy and Naruto thought he was going to die and why the hell did Sasuke use his Sharingan, did he want to copy Naruto's expression when he- At this point, Sasuke pushed him out of bed in sullen embarrassment, yanked his clothes on, and stalked out of Naruto's apartment.
"You bastard!" Naruto yelled, scrambling after Sasuke, not bothering to dress and glaring from the apartment doorway naked. "See if I EVER let you be top again!"
Sasuke, who had been trying to walk down the stairs with as much dignity as possible with one's shirt on backwards, broke into a mad sprint as one of the tenants, shocked, swiveled around to look at him.
It would have been a perfect day for cloud-gazing; unfortunately, when in doubt, Naruto always came running to Shikamaru.
"...And then I came, and Sasuke used his Sharingan on me!"
"Why are you telling me this!" Shikamaru cried, clearly horrified to know him.
"Shikamaru!" said Naruto, scandalized. "This is important!"
"But did it have to be in vivid detail?" Shikamaru mourned. Naruto glowered at him impressively.
Shikamaru deflated. "Alright, already. When did this first happen?"
"Huh? First time? Well, maybe a month ago, we were hanging around my apartment, and I sort of bit Sasuke, dunno why, and he sort of backhanded me, that bastard, so I bit him again, on the shoulder, and he turned this funny shade of red and clutched at his curse seal like he was trying to hide it and I said that was stupid, 'cause it wasn't his fault Orochimaru's a crazy snake bastard! I mean, I was okay with it and he was over trying to betray Konoha so what was his problem? And then he looked at me funny and asked if I trusted him and I said yes and then he kissed me and I pushed him down on the...bed...Shikamaru?"
If Shikamaru turned any greener, Naruto would be able to summon him and stand on his head.
"Not that first time-I meant-the Sharingan...You stud beast," said Shikamaru finally, patting Naruto limply on the shoulder. "But let's remember Shikamaru is straight, and still creeped out with vivid details of male friends having sex."
"Um, yeah, okay."
"So..Sasuke using his Sharingan while, uh, you know. Has it happened before?"
"No! But I was always top before!" said Naruto, grinning ferally.
"Naruto!"
"Oh, yeah..."
"And he didn't try to attack you.." Shikamaru stared longingly at the clouds. "Tell you what, Naruto. Next time you and Sasuke-uh, next time, try to be top and see if Sasuke uses his Sharingan, then. Might've been just a fluke, and Sasuke didn't hurt you, right? Still, come back if he doesn't..."
"Why?"
"Might be control issues-um, just come back." Shikamaru muttered. Man, this was waaaay too disturbing.
"Yeah! Thanks, Shikamaru!" Naruto jumped up to leave, hesitated, and said, "Hey, whatever happened to you and Ino?"
Shikamaru, who had rolled to his side and was about to take a nap, tensed. "What do you mean?"
"Well, you've liked her since forever!" Naruto pointed out.
"Keep your voice down! And, yeah, well, so?"
"So? How come you're not doing anything about it?" Naruto asked, sprawling on the grass again. He poked Shikamaru's back.
"It's not that I can't grasp the concept of courting someone," said Shikamaru, sounding very tired. "I can. For example, I look at Ino. She's pretty, a good ninja, from a good family, whatever, and I think, 'She'd make a good, noisy girlfriend.' But I can't imagine going from that thought to actually bringing her flowers, or something. That is beyond me. It's too...troublesome."
"I'll help you out!"
"Riiight. Sakura's been rejecting you since when?"
"I can't remember. But it doesn't mean I should, or you should, give up!" said Naruto earnestly.
"You didn't, and you ended up with Sasuke. And while Chouji's very cool, he's also in love with food. Can't compete with that-"
"Shikamaru!"
Shikamaru rolled over, looked pointedly at him, and sighed softly. "It's too much of a bother, Naruto. Ino's way too pretty, and she wants to do something with her life, you know? She has ambition, and I'd... yeah, well. I'd hold her back. Chances are I ask her out, she'll laugh in my face."
"Shikamaru!" said Naruto, solemnly. "Ino won't do that."
"I'm a lazy bum," Shikamaru mumbled, absently plucking out tufts of grass.
"No, you're not! Uh, most of the time! I mean, you're smart! And you do things if they reeeaally need to be done, and you're a way better ninja than I am, and you've reached Chuunin with half as much effort!"
"That's because you were running around saving people and I was bumming around avoiding them. But I get the point," said Shikamaru before Naruto could open his mouth. "So you think I'm a catch. Huh. That's kinda disturbing. Alright, alright. Man, I am so gonna regret this..."
"So you'll do it?" Naruto laughed. Shikamaru nodded resignedly. "Way to go, Shikamaru!"
"I have to come up with an attack plan..." Shikamaru murmured. He glanced sideways at Naruto and grinned lopsidedly. "Biting doesn't works for everyone, you know."
to be continued.