AN: Here's another oneshot I wrote overnight when I was bored. I hope you like it -)
Disclaimer: I don't own it, just wrote it for the fan's entertainment -)
Summary: Break-ups are tough on anyone, but what to do when the one going through it, is your best friend and secretly the one you love? Syaoran's now faced with a dilemma...
From A Distance
It was late at night when the phone went. He already knew who it was. It was her and only her. She was the only one who ever called him out of bed at these crazy hours. Sometimes for no reason at all, other times there was something more, something special and only his ears would get to hear about it.
"Hey Sakura." he said as he answered the phone. A slight smile was tugging at the corner of his mouth, as it always did when she called.
"Hey Syaoran…" came the silent reply. The smile that had threatened to show only moments before was instantly wiped from his face.
He was shocked to hear her voice so… so broken almost. What happened to her?
"Sakura? What's wrong? What happened?" he asked concerned that something bad had happened. He was genuinely scared now. She was always so cheerful and happy. To imagine her without that smile, that could light up the sky at its darkest hour, was something he didn't want to do, something he couldn't. That just wasn't right.
For a while he just sat there silently waiting for her to speak. He knew she would tell him what was wrong eventually. She always did. It was just a matter of time. If she didn't want for him to know about it, she wouldn't have called in the first place.
"It's over…" she confessed silently.
It was the only thing she said, those two simple words, and yet it were the only words she needed to let him know what she was talking about.
He stayed silent, not sure what to say to someone who had just broke up with the man she obviously loved. "What did he do to you?" he thought silently. His heart reached out to her with every heart wrecking sob he heard. She was supposed to be happy…
"I… I went over there tonight to surprise him and… and..." she broke off as she tried to steady her voice and stop her silent sobs.
As she tried to collect herself he waited silently for her to continue. God he couldn't stand to see her this way, this hurt. He could see her tear streaked face clearly in his imagination. If there was a way to take away her pain, he would have done it. But instead all he could do was be there for her when she needed him the most. When she needed a friend…
"When I arrived at his place he… he… Oh god, I can't even say it… it just can't be true." she whispered. She no longer tried to hold back the tears that now flowed freely, she just couldn't.
"I… I know it's kind of late, but…but could we please meet?" she asked him. She sounded like a little child, lost in a strange world, with no where to go. She was desperate, he realised when he heard her silent sobs once more.
"Sakura…" he fell silent for a bit not sure how to continue. "Lets meet at penguin park okay?" he finally said hesitating. "That way we can talk freely…"
She nodded silently, but then realized she was still on the phone with him and managed to say "ok." before she hung up and went to penguin park.
Syaoran was already waiting there for several minutes, before she turned up. He ran the entire way, because he didn't want to make her wait. Out of breath he had reached the playground and when he had confirmed that she wasn't there yet, he sat down on the swing to catch his ragged breathing.
Without a word she sat down next to him on the other swing, silently rocking back and forth. He'd come running all the way here, just for her. She was grateful, really she was,. but right now she couldn't smile, not even for him.
It had been silent for another while. She just sat there finding comfort in him just being there. Syaoran just waited for her to find her voice once more. He knew from his own experience that he hated it when people started to ask questions, so he didn't. Instead he just sat there next to her, gazing up at the stars, waiting.
"He used me…" she whispered gaining his full attention once more. "He just used me!" she yelled. Syaoran was shocked to hear that. He couldn't imagine anyone who would want to use a person like Sakura.
He watched her silently as she cried. "I… I thought that… he… he loved me!" she sobbed "But all I was, was a… a fucking bet, a bet!" she spat out. Syaoran cringed. The hurt in her voice was so evident he could barely take it. The bastard would pay, that much was for sure. He didn't deserve her, he never had. But that wasn't the most important thing. Revenge could come later, right now she needed him to be there for her.
Awkwardly he put a hand on her back, trying to comfort her a little. Instead of comfort however, she hid her face in her hands. "How could I have been so stupid?" she shouted tears streaming down her face. "What's wrong with me? Why didn't I see what was going on, why didn't I know! Why couldn't I stop this from happening?" she was hysterical and he couldn't blame her.
She had stopped shouting and all that was heard now were silent sobs. "Why did I have to fall in love with him?" she suddenly whispered.
He couldn't bare seeing her this way. Her tearstained eyes looking up at him, pleading for an answer he couldn't give her… It tore his heart to pieces.
He got up and searched his pockets for a tissue. Where was it? He was sure he stuffed one into his pocket before he came down here. Ah there it was. He held it out to her slumped form. "… Here," he said "take it."
She looked up at him and hesitantly accepted the offered tissue. "Thanks…" she said with a small voice.
Syaoran stood there, not sure what to do now. "Hey…" he said finally trying to lighten the mood up a little "That's what friends are for right?"
Sakura looked up at him gingerly, and before he knew it, she grabbed his shirt with both hands, buried her face against his chest and was crying silently.
Syaoran was surprised to say the least. He was at a loss, and for a few moments his arms hung loosely beside his body. But it didn't take him long to wrap his arms protectively around her slightly shaking form, hoping to offer her some form comfort.
He didn't care that her tears stained his shirt, all he cared about was right here in his arms.
"Why did this happen to me?" she sobbed silently. "Why?"
He couldn't give her an answer. He didn't know what to say to her. All he knew was that it hurt him even more to see her so devastated over a guy who didn't even deserve her tears. She shouldn't cry for him…
"Don't cry…" he murmured. "It's not your fault… Don't blame yourself over someone else's mistakes."
He felt her tighten her grip on his shirt and tried not to flinch when she grabbed some of his skin too. He simply ignored it and pulled her closer towards him. "It… It is my fault…" she sobbed "I... I should've seen it co… coming! I… I should've known!" she cried desperately clinging to him as if there was no tomorrow.
Before he could tell her that it wasn't her fault, that it was that bastard's fault for playing her like he did, she continued in a small voice "I trusted him… I never should have trusted him. When I went over there tonight, I walked inside and… and found him there with another girl. I thought I would die… How could he have done that to me?" she asked once more in a small voice.
Syaoran closed his eyes. How was he supposed to respond to this? The only thoughts that came to mind were those of revenge.
"It hurts…" she said suddenly and he held her closer if that was possible. "It really hurts…"
He wanted to tell her that it would all be alright, that he was there for her, that he would solve all her problems and take away all her pain, but he couldn't…He looked up at the sky, hoping to find some sort of answer for her there, but he had none. "It will be alright…" he said comforting. "Don't worry, you still have me right?"
"I don't deserve you." she snivelled all of a sudden.
"What?" he said taken aback by her comment. What was she talking about? "Of course you do, don't be silly." he told her looking down at her.
"You're the only one I can count on…my best friend." she told him silently.
Syaoran tried to swallow the lump that had formed itself in his throat, as the word friend echoed through his head. "But of course you can, that's why we're friends remember? I'll always be here for you…you know that…always." he murmured.
If only she knew how much she meant to him. If only she noticed he could be more than just a friend. If only he could tell her…. If only the things that happened to her could be erased, if only he didn't feel so powerless right now… If only he had told her sooner.
Syaoran remembered the day she told him she was in love like it was yesterday.
She had looked so happy that day when she came up to him and told him every little detail, thinking he would be happy with the news.
In truth he had been shocked. She had fallen in love…and it wasn't with him. He had been too late. When that thought finally hit him, he was devastated. He felt like his world had crumbled around him.
Sakura had been so happy that he decided to keep his feelings to himself. He didn't need to trouble her with them. Someday he would tell her, but not now.
"As long as she is happy, this is good enough for me." he thought as he silently watched her from a distance. He would still be there if she needed him. He was still her friend…
Later that same day, Tomoyo had asked him: "And Syaoran-kun, did you tell her yet?"
Syaoran looked down at her question, trying to find his voice to at least answer her. "No…I haven't, and I won't… She told me she fell in love with someone else today. She doesn't need to know about my feelings. I don't want to ruin anything for her. I don't want to make her feel guilty. As long as she doesn't know, and as long as she's happy, I'll be happy… for her."
Tomoyo looked surprised but said nothing further. She simply nodded in understanding and patted him on the back.
"I guess that is what it means to really love someone eh?" he said and looked at Tomoyo who smiled at him with sympathy. "Somehow all I care about is her happiness whether it's with me or… or with someone else." he finished softly.
He looked back at the girl in his arms. The girl he loved more than anything in the world. She would never know, not unless he told her. But that wasn't something he planned on doing very soon. No, that was simply not an option. Not after what she had been through today. He would wait… her happiness came first, before his own, it meant everything to him.
His time would come. "Is there something I can do for you?" he asked, willing her to say that he should take care of the bastard who'd hurt her.
"Just don't leave me…" she whispered still clinging to him as if her life depended on it.
That was his Sakura, never wishing anyone harm no matter what they had done to her. All she had to do was ask him, and he would do it, if he could. Even if she had asked him to kill the bastard, he would have, just for her… But he knew that was something she'd never ask of him. She cared too much about other people, she couldn't wish them any harm. He admired that about her.
"Do you want me to take care of him for you?" he asked her suddenly. It had come out before he could stop himself.
Sakura looked up at him surprised by his question. "No… Don't… I just want to forget about everything that's happened today." she told him quietly.
She looked so fragile to him that it made him wonder if she would ever recuperate from this. It wasn't that he had really done her any physical damage but the mental damage was there. Would she ever be capable of trusting anyone enough to let him into her life? To let him love her and take care of her? Or would she be afraid of getting hurt once more, of being used and instead prefer to keep everyone at a safe distance…
No! He shook his head trying to get rid of those thoughts. She wouldn't do that… not his Sakura… not while he was there to try and make things better for her, to protect her even if she didn't know it.
Silently he made another vow. He would make her smile again, no matter what.
Sakura looked up at Syaoran as he seemed to be lost in thought.
"You're amazing you know that?" she whispered and released her firm hold on his shirt to wrap her arms around him.
Syaoran's breath got caught in his throat when she wrapped her arms around him. He turned a nice shade of crimson but tried to ignore that. "Oh it's nothing really." he told her awkwardly.
"Nothing?" she snorted "It means everything to me…" she said softly.
Syaoran could have kissed her right then and there. God he loved this woman! But instead he settled for admiring her from a distance. It wasn't what he longed for, but for now, he was sure it was what he needed to do… for her. After all they were only friends, the best of friends, but yet it was just that, just friends, nothing more, nothing less.
He would tell her…. Just not now, not today.
AN: Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it -) any reviews are very much appreciated! Now I'm not sure yet but I might end up writing a sequel to this one ... just cause I'm not sure if I can leave it like this... Just leave me a review with your thoughts -)!
If you enjoyed this one, then maybe you will enjoy my other stories too! Please check them out and leave me a message/review there -) Thanks!
AN 2: As it turns out I did write a sequel -) so please if you liked this one, also reas Smile for Me! Thank you !