LEADER
Selene hit the gas petal with full force. Somewhat ignoring but nevertheless pitying her companion. Beside her sat a freezing Michael with the side window completely closed and trying to warm himself in any possible way. Not even the hot moist temperature outside helped relieve him.
Both of them hadn't fed in days, and it was affecting Michael the most. His body heat was out of the control, Lycans were naturally warm-blooded creatures while Vampires where naturally cold-blooded creatures, in his case both seemed to be in the struggle for power. The hot and humid temperature was not helping matters any, and unless she found him raw bloody meat she feared for his health.
As for her, she was feeling weak, not a good sign.
She exhaled when she saw a sign acknowledging the nearest town. They could stop there for provisions, hopefully a deli would be open, it would be five thirty soon. She looked to check on Michael, he looked ready to jump a coffee machine.
"There is a town only a few kilometres away, we'll be there soon… we'll be stopping there for provisions… how are you feeling?"
"Freezing… I hate this"
It was her fault she knew, if they had only stopped on the last town like Michael had proposed this wouldn't be happening. Listening to him was proving to be a better idea than ignoring his opinion only because she 'knew more'.
She hit the pedal harder, hoping to be there soon.
"Five kilos of veal please"
The butcher gave her a crazy look as he listened to the order. Not only had this woman showed up first thing six o'clock of the morning but she was also ordering a month's worth of food. And she was obviously a foreigner.
All in all he was still too sleepy to question her so he complied with her order. Selene waited anxiously for her meat to come, the sun would be up soon and the thought of been reduced to a pile of ashes had never settled with her. She would have sent Michael if she trusted him to remain in control at the sight and smell of fresh meat a-flood. Especially in his state.
"Do you have any animal blood?"
"Yes I do, how much do you want?"
"About ten litres will do"
The man's eyes almost feel out of its sockets.
"Blood sausages, big dinner" She explained.
This made the man's expression to go back to normal. He disappeared into the back room for a few minutes all the while Selene tapped her foot against the tile floors. She watched the sun beginning to rise more fully into the horizon. If she wasn't out of there soon she wouldn't be able to reach the van.
The man came back carrying two plastic gallons animal blood filled. She quickly paid the man and grabbed the four five litre gallons and meat bags. The butcher was just about to ask her if she needed help carrying all that when he watched the somewhat frail looking woman take everything into her arms and carry it outside like it didn't weight all that much.
The sun was beginning to hit the outside of the deli as she walked out. It was getting nearer and nearer, suddenly the van wasn't parked close enough for her liking. She rushed to the van, only to see Michael coming out to help her with the bags and opening the back dorrs. Just as the door closed the sun fully hit the black coloured old van but by now Selene was safe inside.
"That was a close one"
She said as she opened one of the meat bags and handed a piece to a starving Michael.
"Too close"
He took it gratefully and devoured it shamelessly. Selene poured some blood into a plastic cup and swallowed, it tasted disgusting but her body would not notice. Michael was well into his sixth raw steak when he stopped eating. He breathed in deeply, sweat appeared on his brow and in one movement he took off his shirt.
"What's wrong?"
"I'm so hot now"
"It must be the way your body compensates for the coldness"
"But now I'm burning up!"
"Can you drive?"
"I… think I can"
"We need to park somewhere safe"
"All right, just tell me where you want me to go"
She nodded and he made his way to the driver's seat. It was too bright out for her now. And if sunlight hit the windshield she could be burned to ashes, so he wasted no time on driving away from the deli's parking lot and to a deserted nearby farm.
It was incredible really, how many abandoned properties there were surrounding London and Hungary. Especially in England, where many of them belonged to the government. They'd been lucky so far but he knew their luck could run out at any minute.
They couldn't keep running, they would have to make a decision eventually. He would have to make a decision. Lucian had wanted him to take leadership over the Lycan pack, but he hadn't been ready, especially not then when he barely understood his own body.
Was he ready now?
That was why they'd fled away from everything, but it would be an exact year since they disappeared soon. About this day, a year ago he had seen Selene at the station for the very first time.
From a stranger to a lover.
Sweat ran down his body as he drove, he opened the window but not even the somewhat cool air granted him relief. He looked about ready to jump an ice cube.
They arrived at a place shielded by several trees, a lake in front of them. He decided this was the place and turned off the van before joining Selene at the back. Selene was arranging the blood and meat into their small cooler in which Michael wished he could fit in. He came to sit close to the cooler, which so just happened to run on water, a gadget Selene had 'borrowed' from the Vampire manour before fleeing aside with money, some ammo and some clothes. He hoped he could somehow catch some cold breeze but unfortunately the compact designed cooler didn't cool him any.
"I'm hot ok?"
Selene watched him with an amused expression, but she truly did feel sorry for him. If she had not, she would have never allowed the following to occur, after exhaling loudly she finally made her decision.
"Michael Come here…"
He obeyed, trusting her completely. After a couple of tugs she had her tight black pants and army tank- top off, she'd changed shirts he noticed. But her actions surprised him, did she want them to make love right here and there?
"Selene what are you…"
"My body temperature doesn't go above 23 degrees Celsius… I'm cooler than anything you can find here"
"Cooler and tougher"
His comment earned him a smirk from Selene. He obeyed and entangled his body with hers, feeling relief as his heated skin touched her cooler one. She laid them side by side on their 'bed' which was a patted cushion.
"Remind me not to let you go when we cross the dessert"
He was always the one making jokes, a habit Selene hated in the beginning but now she'd had grown to half appreciate. He pressed his body closer to hers, Selene didn't know if he was doing it because he was hot or in a more sexual way. He rested his head on the crook of her neck, his head pillowing her head and preventing it from tilting. She suddenly threw a leg over his hip.
He felt wonderful as her cool body tangled with his, never had her skin felt so exquisite against his before. Without thinking he began to caress her back and legs, her skin, a release from the intense heat outside. Perhaps it was the position they were in, or the matter that he couldn't see her eyes that encouraged him to talk.
"Selene"
"Yes?"
"In order for me to turn someone into a hybrid they need some of my blood to flow through their veins right?"
"That's my theory"
"Then wouldn't the blood that you drank from me when you turned me into a vampire count?"
"That was months ago, my body has long since assimilated and discarded it"
"Oh…"
"Something else bothers you"
How well she'd learned to read him, but then he'd never been much of challenge to read in the first place. He hid his face against her neck, the almost invisible scar of his bite, still visible on her skin. He kissed the mark.
"We can't hide forever Selene"
"I know"
"I don't know what to do" He whispered.
"I trust you"
He pulled away in order to gaze into her eyes. Never before had she admitted to something like that. Trusting him was a huge step for her, he knew it. For a year she had been afraid to trust at all after having been betrayed and hurt so badly, yet the rules seemed to change with him.
"If I chose to become the leader of the Lycans, would you come with me?"
"They would never accept me Michael. As a death leader I killed thousands, perhaps millions of them"
"Where would you go then?"
"I don't know"
He inhaled her scent, her skin. He couldn't do it without her, he had made that clear to himself long ago.
"I can't do it without you"
"You will have to"
"Why?"
"In order for both species to survive… you're the link between them Michael, you're the bridge"
"There can't be abridge without bricks, you're the bricks Selene"
Her cool hands traced luring patterns on his back. She'd been surrendered silent, he never stopped surprising her, not even when she thought she knew him so well. Of course she would never accept it out loud but her hybrid was full of surprises. But she had to make him understand, he had to make an interrupted decision no matter how much it pained her.
"I've taught you all I know, you're on your own now"
"I won't be alone if you're with me"
"They need you, you know it. Their cry for help keeps you awake at night, you know you need to go"
He held her tighter, crushing their bodies together… dangerous move. The ashes were aflame in seconds, their lips met in a feverish kiss. Lips, tongue, hands. Very soon Michael was attacking her breastbone, she let him do as he pleased. Knowing that it could easily be the last time she would feel him.
He wouldn't let her go.
It was in his nature to hold on to the things he loved, she understood that now. If he didn't do what he needed to and went back to become a leader to the Lycan clan, she would have to disappear. Perhaps then he would give her up, but what would become of her?
Would she wonder the world in a lost daze?
No
That wasn't her style, the almighty Selene had become dependent on something, her hybrid. And there was nothing she could do about it. If she had to disappear she would most likely embark in a one-woman suicide mission to Marcus's coven. Perhaps she would succeed on killing him, but she would die in the process.
His kisses stopped.
He went back to her face, his dark eyes looking into hers like he knew exactly what she was thinking about.
Perhaps he had learned how to read her after all.
A tender hand brushed her hair away from her forehead. He kissed her there, on her forehead, not a lover's kiss, no, a friend's kiss. She looked at him with wonder, but he just smiled, his lips travelled to her cheeks, her eyes, her lips. It was then that she understood what he wanted, he just wanted to be close to her.
"Tell me a story Selene" He whispered. She looked at him like he had gone crazy. "Don't say you can't because I saw you telling a story to your nieces in a memory"
"I do not think I remember any"
"Liar"
Perhaps she was a liar, but she rather be a liar than to comply with his request.
"Please" He asked. Releasing an annoyed not-necessary-breath. He'd learned that meant she gave up.
"What story?"
"One you used to tell your nieces"
"There was one they loved, it was about a robin… how the robin got its crimson stomach."
"Tell it to me" He pleaded.
"There was once a little black bird, it wasn't any different from all the other birds except that it had compassion for others. One day, the little bird was making its nest high on a tree, when he saw a large group of people pass. And a tired looking man dragged a large wooden cross across the field. The man looked tired and dirty, he wore almost no clothes and the men around him whipped his back with whips repeatedly, it also noticed that the man wore a crown made with sharp, thorns… The little bird felt sorry for the man for one of the thorns had buried into his skin and was causing him to bleed. Wanting to do something for the man the bird flew off the tree and close to the man, and with it's small beak the bird was able to dig the thorn out. As it dug it out some droplets of the man's blood were sprayed on his stomach. Soon after, the bird went to a nearby fountain to wash itself, but the man's blood on his stomach never washed away. And that is why robins have red stomachs"
She never noticed that her hand was caressing Michael's locks as she spoke. And when she finished only the steady sound of his breaths was left. She wondered if he'd heard the end of the story before falling asleep and then questioned why she cared. She had not repeated that story to another in centuries… it was a religious story. But as every family of the time, her family had been no exception to religion as well. However it was not at church that she'd heard the story told, it had been in a forgotten book at her father's shelf.
She wondered if perhaps this was the time for her to leave, to flee and leave him to lead his Lycans. But something in the way his body warmed hers even though it truly didn't, and the way his rhythmic breathing lured her made her body separate from her mind.
And although she knew she had to leave, her body just couldn't. She exhaled, trapped in an inner battle to decide what she should do.
If she stayed it would mean staying by his side for the rest of her existence, die with him, die for him. Would she do it? Could she decide such an emotion and love-led life for him?
Could she?
Could she handle living everyday with the hate filled gazes of the Lycans?
She wanted to cry.
Cry, her. A complete and obsolete absurd thought, yet it sounded so comforting in her mind. She wouldn't dare of course, but nevertheless it pained her. Sometimes, just sometimes she resented Michael for making her feel again.
Slowly, quietly, she sneaked from under him, lying him against the floor as she got up. She put on her discarded pants and shirt and sat down on a corner of the van.
Just thinking
'Think Selene' She scolded. But he mind could not elaborate a proper plan, this was not like her at all. She was always ten steps ahead, but why couldn't she think?
She had to leave himShe was a weakness to him, just like he was hers. She couldn't stay, yet why did it feel so wrong?
She lived by trusting in two things, her instincts and her logical mind. But lately she'd been thinking with her he heart as well. Perhaps it was her heart what prevented her from creating a logical plan for her to follow. Finally after several seconds she allowed her head to fall and her hand to run through her hair.
Even if she stayed, would she be able to handle the constant hate of the Lycans, the never ending fighting. She'd gotten so used to being the leader.
She decided where to go, where to stop, when to eat, how to sleep.
She was Michael's leader. Had been ever since that fateful night.
Could she give up that power?
Could she hand it over to him?
Her eyes came to rest upon Michael's sleeping form. She wanted to give in, wanted to just go back to him and pretend like it didn't matter.
But she couldn't.
He laid there, half naked, breathing deeply. Tired, because of her, because of her bad judgement. If they she had listened to Michael and stopped at the town previous to this one he wouldn't have gotten 'sick'.
She had endangered both of them in her foolish attempt to prove to him she was still the leader.
She'd failed.
Failed to see the way Michael had so naturally learned to lead in their year together. Or perhaps she hadn't failed, perhaps she had just chosen not to see it to give herself a feeling of order and empowerment.
How selfish of her.
Yes, he was ready. Ready to lead a clan of Lycans into war with the Vampires. Ready to lead a new era and create a new world. He could do it, he was born to do it.
Yes, there was no doubt in her mind that he could, and she would gather valour from that faith.
She hated trivial things, and this was trivial as it got.
She'd changed, changed back into her death dealer outfit. Tight- second skin suit and enough ammo to kill anyone who got in her way. Her hair hung loosely down her shoulders, and her skin was the colour of the moonlight.
She looked strong, unbreakable, ready to kill. She looked like a Death Leader, but she didn't feel like one.
She looked down at the sleeping Michael. Still asleep, still quiet and unconscious. She gave in to her impulse, perhaps the last impulse she would give in to until she reached Marcus's coven.
Bending her knees she lowered herself in front of him, her knees bent open, holding herself steady before him. She watched him sleep, watched his steady breathing, but truthfully she was trying to burn his image into her mind and heart. His cheeks, his nose, his lips, his eyes, his hair, his smell. She closed her eyes and allowed him to be burned into her soul, then in a moment that tore her soul she gently pressed one finger against his lips.
She said goodbye.
Her open coat flapped back with the wind as she walked out of the van. The sun was just disappearing over the horizon, it would be completely dark within minutes. It was her call to start moving, and she did. She made a 180 quick turn to the opposite direction only to find herself staring into two pitch black orbs.
Startled, she quickly jumped back only to find a dark-blue skinned Lycan staring holes into her form. She would have rather have a handful of Death Dealers try to stop her than him. At least with them she knew what to do, but how could she fight him if with one movement he could have her trapped between the floor and his body without even using half his strength?
But he stayed still, his breathing heavy, his eyes black and his face unreadable.
"Where are you going?" His voice always sounded more raspy as a hybrid.
"Hunting" She lied in hope of saving them a painful goodbye.
"You're lying"
She was shitty liar.
"You need to go lead the Lycans" It was firm, willed, but she couldn't stop the pain from being obvious.
"Why are you leaving?"
"Because I cannot come with you Michael, you must understand that!" She was frustrated, and tired from explaining.
But he had her in less than a second.
His strong arms gripped her shoulders, forcing her to his arm's length. Something about being so close to his chest, to his warmth and feeling his strong arms gripping her shoulders was alluring to her senses. The 'blood' in her wanted to seal his mouth with hers and make him shiver beneath her.
But she couldn't.
Unconsciously her eyes had turned baby blue and her body was becoming more and more aware of him. She had to get away. In a mare attempt to free herself from his hypnotizing power she looked away, not meeting his gaze and staring into oblivion. It was working until he figured out what she was trying to do and brought her closer to his chest, but still not quite touching.
Pure torture.
Why could he not just get it over with and reproach her? Why could he not just take her right then and there?
But he chose to keep her like that, yearning but without knowing exactly what.
She'd taught him well.
She knew how to keep control over his prey, yet why was it she felt so vulnerable? Why was she not handling the situation as if she had the upper hand? Why was she letting him win?
"Stay with me"
"The Lycans won't accept me Michael, I've killed thousands, perhaps millions of them over the years. They won't accept me just because I'm your…"
She didn't even know how to call their relationship. Was she his Lover? "girlfriend", ridiculous.
"I need you"
"No, you do not"
"I need you, I can't do this without you… I have no reason to do it without you"
"Putting an end to this war is not enough reason for you!"
"Not when you're not by my side!" His deep, powerful voice sent shivers down her spine. The memory of hearing that same voice under his body clouded her confused mind. No matter how much she tried to run away from it, from him, her thoughts always came back to him.
Her eyes changed. She finally relaxed under his touch, she looked into his pitch black eyes with untold obsession.
"You need to do this, you were born to lead the Lycans and end this absurd war once and for all… you are the leader of peace Michael… if I go with you, they may never trust you enough to…"
His palm pressed against her cold lips, shushing her. She closed her eyes, not wanting him to gaze into her bare soul through her eyes. As she did, she felt his hands decrease in size and the warmth he radiated slightly increase.
He had untransformed, she guessed.
Slowly he removed his palm, replacing it by his warm lips. He knew what to do, where to nibble, where to put pressure. He hoped, prayed that perhaps if he kissed her just the right way he would flare in her the fire that burned every time they touched.
She pushed away, burned by his contact.
He was winning.
She couldn't let him. Yet he didn't let her get far.
"Can't you see Selene? Don't you understand?… I need you, I want you"
He kissed her again, only this time it was fierce and forceful. Sending her emotions into a swirl pool of confusion. She battled it at first, trying her hardest not to respond, but at the rate he was going he was kissing her for both of them. And finally he nipped to hard, drawing blood. She gasped…
She'd lost it.
Blood was the viagra of vampires, and blood with arousal brought complete and utter cloudness of the mind.
She gave in.
She kissed him, kissed him so hard he stumbled back a few paces. Any attempt for escape was forgotten in the need to taste and conquer.
She lost.
It was almost dawn when she found herself laying on van's floor, dressed in only Michael's body.
Any plan of escape was delayed until sunset. She sighed in desperation, he had won for now. And worst of all, part of her was glad, the other afraid. Afraid that he would succeed in convincing her to stay by his side, a very dangerous action that could cost them both their lives.
She looked down at his sleeping face. He looked peaceful, not worried, just peaceful. She tried to slip away from him but his arms were tightly wrapped around her waist and shoulders. Trapping her to his body, he had anticipated a possible early escape.
She began to squirm more from under him, waking him.
"It's daybreak, you can't leave" He whispered in a raspy, sleepy voice.
"I should leave you alone in the woods and under the sun for what you did!"
"It stopped you"
"It will not stop me tonight"
"Why do you want to do this?"
"Did you not hear a word I said last night!"
"That was a whole lot of bullshit and you know it"
She pushed away from him, in his human form Michael was weaker, and having just woken up made him weaker still. She was soon sitting up, her eyes locked on some lost corner of the van, anywhere that wasn't his eyes was safe.
For the first time in over a century she felt like prey, but only like prey, useless pray. The kind of pray that is easy to hunt, the kind that puts up such an insignificant fight that it makes you believe it wants to die, wants to suffer.
"I'm your weakness, can't you see? …And you're mine." She added, as if more to herself.
"So that's the real reason! You don't want to have any weaknesses, you want to be cold and dangerous… you want to be dead!"
"That has nothing to do with it!"
"Does it?"
"Yes!" She yelled. But truly he had hit close to the mark.
"Then why is it you keep pushing me away?"
"Pushing you away! Michael I have let you in deeper than I've ever let anyone before!"
"And you still hold back! I feel it Selene, I feel it every time I touch you, every time we make love, I feel it when we talk! You're holding back because you're afraid"
"Afraid of what!"
"Afraid to love! Perhaps you're afraid to get hurt again, to trust again… why can't you just trust me? Why can't you believe in what we feel for each other?"
"I believe in it Michael… I just don't believe that the Lycans will understand it… and because of how much I…(sigh), I do not want to endanger you anymore than you will be already"
He stood up, he reached for her hands and grasped them in his as he held them both against his chest.
"Don't you think I should also be allowed to make decisions about my own future?"
He had her, he was right. It was his future, his decision, his time to lead. He had the right to make his decisions.
Once again she had ignored his right to lead his own life.
It wasn't her place any longer.
"It is, your right" She whispered.
"Then I decide I want you to come with me"
"That is my decision to make"
"Come"
"Why?"
"I love you"
She chuckled bitterly.
"You are being selfish, I should always go second to your destiny"
"What if I want to be selfish, what if I decide you are my destiny?"
"Then you decide wrong!"
She was cornered, he had her, she had no more explanations and she knew it, the only path now was to be angry and perhaps make him back away. Yet never before had she felt as such a loss for speech.
He kissed her, a sweet lips against lips kiss. But it melted her.
"Do you trust me?"
She nodded.
"Stay with me"
She sighed, looked away… and nodded.
He smiled, genuinely smiled because he knew she was being truthful. She was a shitty liar after all.
"You and me Selene, we're invincible" He whispered against her ear as he pulled her into his arms.
"We better be if we want to make it through this alive"
She hid in his embrace, decided to drown in it and not think about anything for the next 24 hours at least. She was tired, tired of thinking
Perhaps she would regret her decision in the future but nothing in her life had ever felt as right as this. If she was going to die it was better to do it by his side… protecting him.
"I love you"
She whispered, mouthed it. He took her hand and placed it over his heart.
"I know"
A new War begins
Well I'm done. Fini… I would like to say that this story is perhaps one of the best written works I've done and I hope to hit this standard both for language and style in the future.
By nature and because of the way she's been taught Selene is a naturally used to leading and having control. To give up that power and hand it over to someone else is a great matter of trust and trust is also love. As well as the fear of being rejected but at the same time being afraid fo living among the ones that she's hated for so long.
Thank you to EVERYONE that reviewed.
Special Thanks to Fig-aruna for all your wonderful reviews. And I seriously wish I could see the fan art you drew, I'm sure its great. You helped me write, thank you.
EL Varon: Yes I meant Sonja and Lucian and I'm working on fixing it, thanks for pointing it out it was stupid mistake. Thanks for your reviews.
And even before she had been turned she had never been physically loved.