Disclaimer: What is mine is mine, what is not, is not. As my English teacher would say, I'd be insulting you if I told you how to do every single thing. -;;
Dedication: To 'Jennifer' (or Miss 'Tacky') for listening to me rant about Vincent Valentine, Tseng, Cloud, Aeris, Sephiroth, Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII: Before Crisis, Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus, and Final Fantasy VII: Crisis Core, Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children, and how I want them SOOOOOO much, but half of them aren't even released and I don't have the components to play them, or I'm a bit too short on cash, or whatever. So thank you for listening to me rant, and screw you for saying that Cloud and Vincent are stupid names, that 'Valentine' as a last name is just dumb, and that the Turks are ugly.
WARNING: I know many things are out of order, so call it a bit AU if you want. If you are a die-hard fan and can't stand things out of order, or how they this, or how they that, I strongly suggest you not read. Also note that this will most definitely be OOC. (what did you expect?)
It was a regular day, sun shining, grass green, whatever, who cares? Vincent didn't care anyhow, he was too absorbed in an ancient textbook on some kind of sorcery, not that he was interested in sorcery, it was just that he'd rather read that than just sit around and be bored like everyone else was:
Yuffie was blabbing her mouth off about how darn boring everything is and continuously complained about, well, everything and everyone, but then got up to get a soda. Cait Sith was playing paddleball; Cid was so bored he has reduced himself to chop down a tree… by continuously stabbing in with his spear, which, in anyone's right mind, wasn't exactly the best thing to do if you were going to chop, I mean stab down a tree. Tifa was braiding and unbraiding her hair for the seventh time, Barret was shooting random birds, Red XII was tracing patterns in the dirt, and Aeris was humming a tune to herself as she examined a wile dandelion. Cloud was… wait… where was Cloud?
"Hey, whatcha reading, Vincent?" Cloud asked, peering over Vincent's shoulder. Vincent mumbled something before he continued back to his reading, hoping Cloud would leave, but he didn't.
"Art of the Valentine: Body-Mind Switch Technique," Cloud read. "Hey, you're not REALLY a vampire, are you?" Cloud asked, for he did happen to know that vampires had a knack of staring into people's eyes and then just brainwash them or something.
"…" Was Vincent's reply. He didn't know how the heck he ended up on that page, but it was apparently the first page of the next chapter after necromancy.
"Okay, now what does that say?" Cloud continued, not caring the least of Vincent as he finally found SOMETHING to do. "Are those hand seals or something?"
"…"
"Cool… I want to try!" Cloud said childishly as he followed the directions, not bothering to think of what would happen if it did work as he completed all of the steps.
"Um… Initiate?" Cloud said rather uncertainly as he called forth the spell. A brilliant display of iridescent rainbow lights showered themselves upon Cloud, and then Vincent, who was suddenly very aware of what was happening, and then everyone else as they gathered in a circle around the two, Tifa and Aeris diving in for Cloud, but before they could, there was a blinding flash and everyone fell motionless… except for Yuffie, who had gone in for a soda...
Yuffie gasped as she dropped her soda and looked at the scene before her: All the members of AVALANCHE completely knocked out and lying sprawled across the grass. Her initial thought: ShinRa, but then after seeing that there was no blood and everyone was very much in tact, she calmed a bit, but not before screaming her head off.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" She shrieked, immediately waking everyone, though they woke rather slowly, not shooting bolt up like they usually did when she yelled in there ears.
They all groaned as the got up, seeming rather groggily at first as they moaned and groaned as put there hands to there heads, and yeah, all that waking up jazz. After a moment though, after they all finally seemed to get their minds going, there was a huge clutter of confusion.
"Cloud! Are you okay!" 'Tifa' and 'Aeris' gasped as they lunged at 'Cloud'.
"Wh-what happened?" 'Vincent' mumbled as he sat up.
"Oww…" Is what everyone else said though.
"HEY! What's going on! What did I miss!" Yuffie demanded, stamping her foot and putting her hands on her hips. "I wanna know!"
"Well," began 'Cloud'. "I-"
"CLOUD! Are you alright, dear!" 'Aeris' said with a worried tone, running up to him and hugging him across the waist.
"Aeris, please, get off of me, I'm not Cloud!" 'Cloud' exclaimed, prying 'Aeris' off.
"Aeris? I'm Tifa! And what do you mean you're not Cloud?" 'Aeris' protested, giving 'Cloud' a confused look.
"Cloud? I'm Vincent, Aeris!" 'Cloud' said looking at the bewildered girl.
"No, I'm Aeris!" came Tifa's voice. "And-" she took one look at 'Aeris', and both girl screamed.
"Okay, okay, what's going on!" came 'Cid's' voice. "Hey, did I grow shorter or something? I could've sworn I was taller than 'Vincent'…" He finished as he wandered over to Vincent's side.
"Who? I'm Cloud!" exclaimed 'Vincent', pointing to himself, but them got a nasty stab as he poked himself with one of his metal fingers. "Hey- OW! Since when were my fingers metal!"
"The who's that?" demanded 'Cid', pointing to the other 'Cloud' being surrounded by a screaming 'Tifa' and 'Aeris'.
"Who's- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" 'Vincent' screeched, pointing at 'Cloud'. "You- I- Me- But- I- Cloud…"
"Wait, I'm I seeing double!" questioned 'Cloud', running towards 'Vincent'. He caught sight of whom he really was by the reflection of 'Vincent's' metal claw thingy, took another look at 'Vincent' while 'Vincent' did the same.
"HEY! GET OUT OF MY BODY!" They both screamed at each other as they clutched their hearts, breathing heavily after the shock.
"Okay, okay, what's all the fuss about!" Demanded 'Red XIII' as he strode over. "I was playing paddleball, I turn around, and what do I see? People screaming at each other saying that they aren't who they really are. Ridiculous!"
"Wait, you weren't playing paddleball you little -bleep, it was that Cait Sith!" ' Barret' came over and scoffed. "And why the hell am I like, half a foot taller! AND WHY THE HELL DO I ONLY HAVE ONE HAND!" he waved around his gun arm in front of 'Red XIII's' face, whacking him like a punching bag a few times. Then he spotted 'Cid'.
"Oh, dear lord!" screamed 'Cid' as he and 'Barret' ran away screaming in the opposite directions.
"What was that all about?" asked 'Cait Sith' as he came over, not looking at 'Red XIII' just yet.
"I don't know…" shrugged 'Red XIII'. "But everyone's screaming."
"Yeah…" agreed 'Cait Sith' as he and 'Red XIII' looked at each other.
"…AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" the both screamed also, dashing away at top speed.
"OKAY! EVERYONE! SHUT UP!" Yuffie screamed at the top of her lungs. Everyone looked at her for a moment, then went back to there own screaming, leaving Yuffie slightly ticked off and unhappy that she was left out of the commotion.
"Okay, Elena, what do you see?" gasped Tseng. Since the Turks were, well, a bit short of height as they were spying on AVALANCHE, they sort of, well… had to build a human ladder.
"Wait, Reno, hold still!" Elena muttered as she looked upon the chaotic scene. "Well it seems they are… running around screaming, sir." She reported. "They won't notice us if we attack now."
"O-Okay… G-Good…" sigh Tseng, struggling under the weight of Reno and Elena. "Now, all we need to do is-"
"OW! Get off my hair, Elena!" Reno screamed.
"No, all we need to do is get down there! So Elena, get off Reno, Reno, get off me, and I'll get off of Rude, and then-"
"I need a coffee!" complained Reno.
"No, I said-"
"And I wanna donut too!"
"Reno, just shut up, okay!"
"Okay! Everyone, just CALM DOWN!" this time she summoned forth a mini-landscaper, not a massive one that would have harmed them, but big enough for them to shut up and listen to her. Unfortunately, it was also big enough to send the human ladder concerning the Turks to start tumbling down the hill.
"Now, as I was- hey! Aren't they the Turks!" Yuffie gasped, pointing at the Turks as they tumbled down the hill. Everyone snapped his or her head at where Yuffie was pointing, and immediately scrambled up to get ready for battle or whatever. Good timing too, because just then, after the Turks were thrown into the air by a cliff or something, some did a summersault, and then they gracefully landed, well, fine, only Tseng and Rude managed to land on their feet, Reno and Elena were just a heap by the edge.
"Hey, Tseng, didn't you say we were just suppose to spy on them…?" Reno grumbled as he slowly got up and stood next to Tseng and Rude. Elena was apparently knocked out cold.
"Yeah, but then someone refused orders and that is why we here now stand against a fully armed AVALANCHE!" hissed Tseng dangerously towards Reno, who just stood there with a sheepish grin. Meanwhile, while the Turks were having their mini-disputes, the members of AVALANCHE were having a bit of trouble themselves.
"Okay, how the heck do you use a gun!" demanded 'Vincent', raising up a gun. "And how the heck am I suppose to know when I'm gonna turn into some weird purple monster! It ruins my image!"
"You don't." 'Cloud' told 'Vincent'. "It just happens, and think of what it does to my image!" He raised his sword, and found it surprisingly light, despite the fact that it was extremely big and well, probably weighed more than he did…
"Okay…" sighed 'Barret'. "HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSE TO FIGHT WITH ONE HAND!"
"YOU SAID IT!' agreed 'Cid'. "HOW CAN ANYONE FIGHT WITH TWO HANDS AND A TOOTHPICK!"
"Hey! It's not a-bleep- toothpick! It's a spear! And I said one hand, you-bleep- ONE!" 'Barret' screamed at 'Cid', who was examining the spear in every angle, bashing it around like a sword a couple of times.
"AND YOU STAB WITH IT! STAB!"
"Oh, right…"
Meanwhile with 'Tifa' and 'Aeris'…
"Geez, how the heck am I suppose to just stay back and make sure you guys don't faint or something! That's got to be the most sissy and boring job ever! For crying out loud, we're supposed to be terrorists here!" 'Aeris' scoffed, looking at her rod or staff, or whatever. The point is, she couldn't just go charging into battle like a blind duck anymore because Aeris' body was too frail and… sissy. No, she'd have to stay to the side, make sure that no one was killed, and scream when something came her way because she couldn't defend herself. Because she was a sissy not a 'hot fighting chick' anymore.
"Tifa," began 'Tifa'. "You know the word terrorists is a bad word to use in this case! Why, we're just trying to save the world! Wouldn't 'heroes' and 'heroines' suit us better? And what do you mean it's a sissy job! I don't want to blindly attack and get myself hurt!"
"Yeah, well, at least there's the heat of the battle and the adrenaline pounding. What's the point of fighting if you don't have a cause for it?" 'Aeris' returned. "Besides, my Cloud-"
"Your Cloud!"
"YES! MY CLOUD! He obviously loves ME!"
"No he doesn't! He loves me!"
"Me!"
"Me!"
"Me!
"MEEEEEEE!"
With 'Red XIII' and 'Cait Sith'…
"Okay, so all I have to do is yell at the thing and it just does whatever?" 'Cait Sith' asked 'Red XIII'.
"Yeah, and all I've gotta do is just yell something and charge head in and hope that I don't get my butt kicked, right?" 'Red XIII' asked 'Cait Sith'.
"Correct. Look's like we're good to go."
With Yuffie…
"YO! TURKEY HEADS! GET READY TO GET THE-BLEEP- BEATEN OUTTA YOU!" Yuffie screamed as she yelled and got into a battle stance. The Turks, who were still conscious, did the same.
Nothing happened…
"Uh, guys, I said let's go beat the-BLEEP- outta the Turkey Heads!" Yuffie said with a frown.
"Oh, yeah." Was everyone's reply.
Nothing happened…
"GUYS!" Yuffie screamed. "LET'S GO ALREADY!"
Something happened…
"Okay! Eat this!" 'Barret' said as he held his gun arm in front of him. Nothing happened. "I said, eat this!" Nothing happened still. 'Barret' let out a groan. "Hey, how does this thing work!"
"I think you have to pull the trigger or something," replied 'Cloud', who was taking some practice swats at random things.
"Oh…"
"YO!" exclaimed 'Cid' randomly as he charged at the Turks with his spear held like a lance, not exactly use to short-ranged combat.
"I step right, Rude, you step left, Reno, you jump up." Tseng said calmly as his team obeyed, just as 'Cid' crashed straight into the cliff with his spear stuck in the side.
"Oww…"
Meanwhile…
"Okay, and this, and that, and… got it?" asked 'Red XIII'.
"Yeah, I think so…" replied 'Cait Sith'. "Hey, how come we're actually on good terms?"
"I don't know," shrugged 'Red XIII'.
Mean-meanwhile…
"Okay, um, how do I attack again?" asked a clueless 'Tifa', tapping at her metal plated boot.
"You just dish out punches and kicks and WHAMO! They're out cold!" 'Aeris' told her, twiddling her staff or rod or whatever thingy in her hands. Haven seen Aeris do it a million times, she thought she actually got the hang of it, even though she never really sued it before, but who cares? 'Aeris' didn't.
"Uh, like this?" 'Tifa' asked, wildly kicking the thing right next to her, namely, 'Barret'.
"HEY!" he exclaimed as his gun arm went off and was now firing in random directions. Let's see how the little bullets fared, shall we?
Bullet 1:
"And now, feel the wrath of… YUFFIE KISARA- HEY! MY HAIR! OW! OW! SOMEONE PUT IT OUT! MY HAIR'S ON FIRE! MY HAIR'S ON FIRE!" Yuffie exclaimed, running around in circles and patting her head in a wild motion while jumping up and down and all sorts of stuff. Frankly, she looked like a duck doing the chicken dance almost…
Bullet 2:
Bullet Elena
Bullet Cliff
-Elena-
In English, Elena, still in her unconscious form, rolled out of the way, barely avoiding death, as shown in my horrible diargram…
Bullet 3-7:
"Hey! Oh! Eeek! Tseng! Look out!"
"…I never liked guns anyhow…"
"…"
Bullet 8:
"Hey, I think I got the hang of this…" 'Cloud' said absentmindedly, slashing his sword at whatever, namely, bullet 8, which somehow ricocheted off his sword, grazing 'Tifa's' metal plated boot, causing her to kick into the tree Cid was previously trying to stab down, and her momentum with the help of bullet 8 caused her to kick the tree down, heading straight for the still unconscious Elena… who rolled away, again… (I think that actually had a one in a million chance to occur…)
"Hey! I think I finally got it!" exclaimed 'Vincent', who had, instead of trying to figure out how to use a gun, had dived for the book of sorcery, and was now attempting to use the mind-body switch spell again, hopefully getting them back to their normal state.
"Okay… Initiate!" Please work…
Suddenly, another iridescent light crowned the members of the Turks and AVALANCHE, showering the two with rainbow-colored sparkles, causing everyone to stop whatever they were doing to stared at it, and eventually, everyone falling into a dazing sleep…
"Oww… that hurts!" 'Tifa' grumbled as she got up. "Wait, how come-" then she spied what she was wearing, pulled quickly at her hair to double check, and screamed.
Everyone else woke up after she did so, but 'Tifa' had already went inside…
"Ugh… what the-" 'Cloud' began as he stood up, only to be knocked down as 'Elena' and 'Yuffie' pounced on him.
"Oh, my Cloud, darling, are you okay!" exclaimed 'Elena' as she hugged him, pushing 'Yuffie' out of the way.
"Hey!" snapped 'Yuffie' as she kicked 'Elena' out of the way and hugged 'Cloud' for herself. "Get off my Cloud! And I though you liked Tseng!"
"Tseng? He likes me!" 'Elena' scoffed.
"Did anyone happen to see a book?" 'Reno' came up to them and asked, his right hand rubbing his temple. "And Elena, I-"
'Elena' gave him a blank look, then giggled slightly. "Vincent, seriously, I'm sorry, but my heart's already won by Cloud, so don't interrupt." She sighed and then went back to hugging him, only to find that 'Yuffie' had stolen him and that she was now hugging a rotting log. "HEY!"
"Reno? I'm Vincent!" 'Reno' stated, giving 'Elena' a queer look, but she had already dashed after 'Cloud' and 'Yuffie'. 'Reno', wanting answers, followed…
"Oww… man, that hurts!" 'Cait Sith' exclaimed as he got up. "Hey, why does everything look bigger…?"
"Hey, Cait Sith!" yelled 'Red' coming over to him. "Did you see what happened?"
"Cait Sith! I'm Cid you !" 'Cait Sith' snapped.
"That's not possible! He's Cid!" 'Rude' huffed as he joined the two, pointing to 'Cid', who was looking at himself with amazement. "Though why the heck he's checking himself out is an utter mystery…"
"I am NOT checking myself out, Rude!" sniffed 'Cid' as he came over, overhearing their conversation.
"Rude? I'm Barret you dunce!"
"Barret? Then who's he!" exclaimed 'Red', pointing 'Barret', who was running over to where they were standing.
"Reeve, what happened?" 'Barret' demanded as he examined to the group, finally settling on himself, the, uh, other himself…
"…" talk about a loss for words…
"I'm telling you, Elena, I'm Vincent!" 'Reno' moaned. "I may look like Reno, sound like Reno, heck, even feel the weird craving to suck up eight pounds of beer, but I am not Reno! Believe me, Elena!"
"Elena? I'm Aeris!" 'Elena' told him, confused.
"A-Aeris!" 'Reno' gasped, eyes widened.
'Elena' smiled sweetly, then continued her pursuit of 'Cloud'.
"Oh, darling, I never thought I'd see you even cuter than you already are!" 'Yuffie' sighed, dropping herself into 'Cloud's' lap, much to 'Cloud's' dismay.
"Get. Off. Me. NOW!" hissed 'Cloud' dangerously.
"Oh, but Cloudy-Pooh, don't you love me?" 'Yuffie' asked, leaning towards 'Cloud', barely touching his lips. "Don't you, my 'Cloud'?"
"What are you talking about?" growled 'Cloud'. "Do you know who I am?"
"Uh… Cloud?" guessed 'Yuffie'. "Aren't you?"
"… I use to have silver hair… before all this happened…" he sneered before dumping 'Yuffie' on the ground. 'Yuffie' gasped.
"Oh my gosh! You had silver hair, Cloud! No wonder your mother named you the way she did! Hey! Hello! Wait for me, my darling!"
"AND ME!" pitched in 'Elena'.
And then again, somewhere in the mountains…
"Oh, gosh… that HURTS!" grumbled a silver haired man, dragging himself up with the help of the side of the cliff. He stumbled slightly, then realizing where he was, quickly withdrew and pressed near the side of the cliff, not daring to look down.
"Great, how did I get here?" he mumbled looking around to see where he was. A wind flew by, uplifting his long locks and flittering them in the wind, and the person let out a tiny yelp, well, actually…
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M SEPHIROTH!" It echoed throughout the area, but 'Sephiroth' so didn't care as he scrambled down the mountainside, eager to get his hands on that book again… but will they know it's not really him? Only him stuck in another one's body while the real body of him was occupied by… oh, too confusing!
Meanwhile, 'Tifa', having realized what had happened, dashed madly inside like stated beforehand, looked at herself in the mirror, and screamed in delight:
"WOHOO! GAWD! I can't believe I'm in Tifa's body! This is so cool!" she screamed, jumping up and down and wildly cheering. Then the crazy ideas and possibilities managed to take over…
Hmm… I wonder- NO! Bad Yuffie, bad Yuffie! You are NOT going to seduce Cloud and drag him into bed! ARGH! Bad thought! Bad thoughts! Hey, I wonder if Tifa's boobs are real- NO! Grr… Why do I have all these bad thoughts! Still, it can't hurt to look…Hmm… Yeah, besides, no one's around, and Tifa wouldn't notice… Hehehe…
So not even bothering to make sure that no one was looking, because no one probably was, 'Tifa' quickly dove into the bathroom, flipped on all the lights, and started stripping off her shirt. (No, Yuffie is not some kind of perverted… lesbian or anything. She's only curios!) She frowned before she did it though, but then her curiosity quickly overcame her shame and fear of what would happen if Tifa found out… Her reply? 'Oh well!'
By now, 'Sephiroth' had quietly snuck down, stole the book, and made it up to the mountain again without much trouble.
"Okay, now…" 'Sephiroth started performing the spell again, except THIS time, he was actually smart enough to read the side that says 'Reverse and Restore' instead of just the 'Initiating' part. Maybe it had to do with the fact that 'Sephiroth' had some influence from Sephiroth brain? I don't know, and we may never…
"Initiate!"
Okay, okay, before I end this, let's just go have another checkup on what everyone was doing when 'Sephiroth' shouted "initiate", okay?
"Hello? Hello? Are you alright?" 'Tseng' gently shook 'Aeris', his eyes filled with pure concern.
"Ugh… hmm?" groaned 'Aeris' as s open her eyes, meeting those of 'Tseng'.
"Are you alright?" 'Tseng' repeated. "Is there anything you need?"
'Aeris' felt herself going red, as a tiny smile broke free. "Y-You care?" she stuttered.
"Yes, you were knocked out for quite a while now. If there's anything you need, I- Mmmph!"
(Now, we all know that 'Tseng' really isn't Tseng at the moment, and if you had been keeping track, you'd know that he was actually someone else, who apparently was concerned of the well being of 'Aeris', who, in actuality, isn't Aeris… So you have no need to be alarmed…)
'Aeris' had suddenly lunged forward and her lips were upon 'Tseng's', who, no doubt, was utterly bewildered, frantic, and REALLY confused… But everything left him as a shower of rainbow sparkles encircled the two…
'Vincent' sighed as he wandered inside, wanting to clear his head of all the commotion. He still couldn't get over the fact that he was walking on two feet though, not to mention actually being able to hold something in his hand. After all, he could've sworn he was dead drunk yesterday. Speaking of hands, he looked at them now, opening and closing them, both of them, one regular, one metal…
His thoughts however, were interrupted by a shrill scream that seemed to come from the bathrooms. It sounded a bit like Tifa's, and 'Vincent' immediately darted towards the bathroom, and not bothering to knock, banged it open, lost his footing, and he and 'Tifa' were now on the ground, him being on top. Oh… was he ever sorry…
You see, in fact, it hadn't been 'Tifa' screaming out of some unknown fear, as 'Vincent' had expected, she was screaming just because, for she couldn't believe how the REAL Tifa lived with them, and uh, yeah, you know the rest of the story…
But no further screams had escaped, for a brilliant display of iridescent lights erupted above the two…
"Cloud!" screamed 'Yuffie'.
"Cloud!" screamed 'Elena'.
"Cloud!" screamed 'Yuffie'.
"Cloud!" screamed 'Elena'.
"Cloud!" screamed 'Yuffie'.
"Cloud!" screamed 'Elena'.
"Cloud!" screamed 'Yuffie'.
"Cloud!" screamed 'Elena'.
"Cloud!" screamed 'Yuffie'.
"Cloud!" screamed 'Elena'.
"Cloud!" screamed 'Yuffie'.
"Cloud!" screamed 'Elena'.
"Cloud!" screamed 'Yuffie'.
"Cloud!" screamed 'Elena'.
"SHUT THE HELL UP!" screamed Cloud.
Silence…
"Cloud!" screamed 'Yuffie'.
"Cloud!" screamed 'Elena'.
"Cloud!" screamed 'Yuffie'.
"Cloud!" screamed 'Elena'.
"Cloud!" screamed 'Yuffie'.
"Cloud!" screamed 'Elena'.
"Cloud!" screamed 'Yuffie'.
"Cloud!" screamed 'Elena'.
"Cloud!" screamed 'Yuffie'.
"Cloud!" screamed 'Elena'.
"Cloud!" screamed 'Yuffie'.
"Cloud!" screamed 'Elena'.
"Cloud!" screamed 'Yuffie'.
"Cloud!" screamed 'Elena'.
Then what happened next concerned 'Vincent, a log, and two very hard thwacks on the head, and two figured landing on 'Cloud'.
"…Thank you…" sneered 'Cloud', turning away.
"Whatever, Cloud…" sighed 'Reno'.
"I'm not Cloud!" sneered 'Cloud, as a confused look brewed in 'Reno's' eyes. "I'm-"
But they said now more as red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet flushed their minds…
"You got any fours?" sighed 'Cait Sith'.
"Nah, go fish." 'Barret' answered. "Got any tens?" he directed to 'Rude'.
"No, go fish, any sevens?" he asked 'Cid'.
"Wait, we aren't playing 'Old Maid'?"
-insert Rainbow Formation code: 485047302-
And then, of course, 'Sephiroth' himself also fell to the rainbow light, and now everyone was again, knocked out… Let's see how it turns out…
Of course, Aeris woke up rather uncomfortable, and as she wiggled around a bit, she realized that someone was on her, and that the person one her was also waking. Then she realized it was Tseng, and was immediately going to tell him to kindly get off of her, but then she realized her mouth was already a bit occupied…
"Mmph!" she whimpered frantically as Tseng quickly released their kiss and got up, blushing as he nervously adjusted his tie. In truth, he was actually enjoying that, but he wouldn't want Aeris to be put in an uncomfortable position, and… yeah, you get the point pretty well…
"A-Aeris, I-I…" finding his loss of words, Tseng quickly bowed to her as a sign of apology and offered a hand to help her up, which, much to his relief, she took.
"I-It's okay, Tseng." Aeris began, blushing as well. "I-I mean, I know I-it wasn't really you who was… kissing me…" She said those last words rather quickly and quietly, but it was loud enough for both of them to hear, and make them flush even redder.
"…Y-Yes, but I'm still sorry. I-I mean, I know you like Cloud and all, and, and…"
"Oh, don't worry, it wasn't like that was my first kiss anyways!" laughed Aeris as she placed a friendly kiss on his cheek. (emphasize 'friendly', FRIENDLY) "Besides, maybe you just might have a chance…"
"I-I…"
"Goodbye, Tseng!" she waved before she went back to her pursuit of Cloud, leaving Tseng absolutely stunned, and still blushing…
Tifa was the first one to wake, and felt an immediate discomfort, namely on her breasts. She groaned as she tried to push herself up, but was quite shocked to find that there was someone on her, and by the time she figured this out, that certain person was waking also…
"Ugh…hmm…?" Mumbled the person as he lifted his head… and saw Tifa…
"V-Vincent! What the-" Tifa quickly turned her head away, and immediately noted the scattered shirt and bra that were laying nearby. She went red, really red…
"Tifa, I-I don't know what happened!" Vincent insisted, politely closing his eyes as soon as he caught sight of, well, you know…
"Please, just get off me!" Tifa said quickly as Vincent obeyed and covered his eyes, and turned his back to Tifa, who quickly snatched and redressed herself.
"…Tifa, I-I'm sorry, but I really don't know what happened!" apologized Vincent, hoping Tifa would forgive him.
"I bet I do…" sneered Tifa darkly. "I wonder who was possessing yours, and my body while I was chasing Cloud, and you doing whatever…"
"…Tifa…"
"Don't sweat it, better you than Cid or Reno, or whatever…" Tifa sighed, patting Vincent on the shoulder. "But say one word, and you are as good as gone. Hey, at least think of it as a reunion with that Lucy gal." Tifa gave him a warning-like smirk before dashing off to find who had been messing with her body, leaving Vincent pondering over what had just happened…
"…Oh, lord!" screamed Yuffie as she jumped off of Cloud. "Ew! Ew! Ew! I look I like I wanted to have sex of molest him or something! Gross!"
"…Huh? Lord… sex… gross? What!" mumbled Cloud, darting up, taking him a moment to readjust to himself.
"…Why am I on Cloud!" exclaimed Elena as she quickly jumped up and away from Cloud. "And are you holding a log?" She kicked Reno impatiently.
"Ow! Sheesh El! Lay off!" grumbled Reno as he got up, and realized that he was holding a rotting log. "Eh! Why was I holding a rotten log!"
"And why were you two trying to… I don't know!" cried Cloud…
"Hmm… my pick…" said Rude, picking a card from Cid's hand. He sighed, clearly not happy with his pick.
"Oh! My turn!" exclaimed Barret, picking a card. "Okay, Cait Sith, your turn."
"Wait, we aren't playing 'Go Fish'!"
Sephiroth woke.
Sephiroth thought.
Sephiroth got angry.
So Sephiroth killed a squirrel and Sephiroth left.
End of Story… Well, almost…
Of course, I cannot conclude this without first letting you into the key, namely, which character is which. I mean, it's hard to know when they are switched, right? Well, for those of you that are pretty smart, you won't need it, but if you're like me and sometimes gets confused, yeah, it'll probably be nice to see it in plain words…
But before that, note that 'The Art of The Valentine' is actually a technique used in the manga/anime, Naruto by Yamanaka Ino. Technically, it allows her to take control of someone's body while hers falls lifeless until she returns. I of course, twisted the whole idea, so please, forgive.
First Switch:
Cloud-Vincent
Tifa-Aeris
Cid-Barret
Cait Sith-Red (I know, he's a robot, but use your imagination!)
Second Switch:
Rude-Barret
Cait Sith-Cid
Vincent-Reno
Tseng-Red
Tifa-Yuffie
Aeris-Elena
Cloud-Sephiroth
And if you find any mistakes, please alert me. Other than that, thank you for your time, hope you enjoyed it!