A/N my original reviewers have probably died of old age since the last chapter. Its been a busy start to the year but that's no excuse. I love you all, well actually I only love you if you like my chapter. HAHAHA I love emotional blackmail. P.s I love my beta unconditionally for unraveling the drivel and turning it into a story XoXo

Harry and Draco continued to see each other regularly. Whether it was sitting around listening to music or debating the world's problems; pitting their competitive, homicidal chess pieces against one another.

Only three days after their conversation, Harry found himself feeling stronger. He felt healthier and, most importantly, happier then he had felt in a very long time. These good vibes continued to put a smile on his face until later that afternoon after Draco had left for the evening. Dumbledore swept into the hospital wing, starling Harry from his book.

"Harry, I don't have much time to chat, I have a meeting with an old, well ancient really, school friend scheduled for dinner time. I have heard from Madam Pomfrey that lately you have improved immensely, and I was wondering how you would feel about returning to school?" Dumbledore remained standing, though chairs were available, towering over Harry who was sitting in a chair by the infirmary window.

"I'd love to get back into the swing of things professor, but isn't Christmas holidays coming up?" Harry closed the book he was reading and let it fall into his lap. If he were honest with himself, the thought of returning to classes terrified him. Even thinking about having to spend lessons with Ron and Hermione made his head and heart ache.

"Well yes, that is true but I thought it would be better if you spent the holidays getting used to being back in the school without the pressure of attending classes rather then throwing you in the deep end."

Harry nodded. "Fair enough… but what about where am I going to sleep? Because I'm not going back to Gryffindor…it's not going to happen."

Dumbledore smiled slightly. "Well Harry, it just so happens our house elf supervisor has been dismissed. Apparently cooking and cleaning weren't the only services Mr. Hanalgin got the house elves to provide."

"I've never seen anyone called Mr. Hanalgin before?"

"No he was a bit of a weird one… only come out at night. Thought I suppose the truly weird ones always do. Any way that's not the point. His room has been vacated, thoroughly cleaned and, of course, and his sheets burnt. It's located near the kitchen which is excellent for those who enjoy the odd midnight snack. And not to be rude, Harry, but you look like you could use a dose of Mrs Weasley's cooking."

Harry looked away from Dumbledore and out the window. The thought that he would probably never be in the Burrow again, never sit around the dining table with the whole Weasley gang enjoying a feast of incredible cooking, was almost enough to bring him to tears.

"I assume by the look on your face the problems between yourself, Ron and Hermione haven't resolved themselves?" Dumbledore asked, finally taking a seat across from him, placing his elbows onto his knees and resting his chin against the top of his hands.

"No. I don't think they ever will. To much has happened, and to be honest I'm almost sure it's for the best." Harry looked up at Dumbledore and managed a smile.

"You're a liar Harry. I don't mind if you lie to me, but lying to yourself is just sad. I think that if you had the chance to be friends with Ron and Hermione again you would do anything to do so. But if you want to remain in denial, that's your choice I suppose. At least you still have Malfoy. He's still around isn't he?"

Before Harry could stop himself he smiled widely and Dumbledore shot him a strange look.

"Um, yeah. He's a good mate. Which I know is strange. I don't know. I think I trust him but I still know that there are so many reasons not to." Dumbledore nodded and flexed his fingers beneath his chin.

"I obviously have spies within and also outside Hogwarts, Harry. And I have heard certain things that make me wary of young Malfoy; I'm not saying he isn't to be trusted. I just expect you to be smart enough to be cautious around him. Well Harry, as I said previously, I have another engagement to get to so I shall bid you farewell. I will stop by in the next couple of days to arrange your discharge but until then, behave." Dumbledore stood, shook Harry's hand and exited the room, leaving Harry alone with only his book for company. Harry continued to read until dinner time. The doors to the hospital wing opened again. Harry, expecting it to be Dobby with his dinner, put his book down but was surprised to find a very intimidated looking Hermione standing half in, half out of the door way.

"What do you want?" Harry demanded. He didn't mean to be rude. He was just shocked that she was there in front of him.

"Hi Harry, um, I ran into Dumbledore on the way back from the library and he said it might be a good idea that I come and talk to you."

"So you're here on Dumbledore's orders? In that case you can piss off." Harry picked the book up again and pretended to read, ignoring Hermione as she advanced and sat in the seat opposite him.

"Dumbledore isn't the only reason I'm here, Harry. He just seemed like a good excuse to come. I miss you… Ron misses you. I know he does on the inside… if only you would apologise to him."

Harry stood angrily, letting his book tumble to the floor.

"Apologise to him? Apologise to him for what? For his fuck wit brothers giving me fucking heroin? For, in a moment of loneliness, having sex with Ginny? For him being such a bully, snoopy bastard that he bullied her into telling him about it? For paying him back for being an asshole? I don't think so Hermione. Because guess what. I'm not sorry. All these things showed me who my true friends are and you two certainly don't fall under that category." Harry fell back into his chair, fuming with pent up emotions that he had been keeping inside for weeks.

"Oh Harry for God's sake get off your damn high horse. We have been with you for 4 years, though thick and thin no matter what. We've risked our lives over those four years to keep you safe and to help you and provide support for you in any way we could, and you're going to through that all away over one little mistake? And for what? A friendship only a few months old with someone who used to be your enemy?" Hermione was surprised by how bitter Harry was towards her and how filled with resentment he seemed to be. She had thought that her coming here and talking to him would be the first step toward re building their friendship but she had obviously been wrong.

"You guys were there for me over the years, I'm not denying that. But you were there when the enemies were external, where whether I died or not was out of my control. Where were you when I was battling my inner demons? When the effects of the drugs got so bad that I didn't want to live any more? And then where were you when I tried to get off them? Who held my hair back when I threw up and wiped my face afterwards? Where were you through all the fits and the agony of the withdrawal symptoms? The only person I had was Draco. He was it and he went through so much, so fucking much and he's still here, right by my side. Where are you guys huh?" Harry wasn't angry any more, just sad. He was sad that these people who he had believed to be friends weren't there for him anymore.

"Harry I'm sorry. We messed up, ok? But I miss you so much and I want you back as a friend. I can't talk for Ron but I do. Even if it means accepting Draco as your partner…"

"Sorry, as what excuse me?" Harry was shocked; sure he must have heard her wrong.

"As your partner… I just assumed… you're always spending heaps of time together and every time you talk about him you speak with such passion."

"No… we're just friends..."

"Is that all you want to be with him though?" Hermione crossed her arms and shot him her "I know your hiding something from me so... spill" gaze. Harry's first reaction was to get angry, to get furious at Hermione for insinuating he was a faggot. But then he thought about it. The way Draco made him feel when he was around. The inappropriate thoughts he had been trying to flush out of his mind but not being able to succeed. The way he found himself admiring Draco's body and his porcelain beautiful face.

"To be honest with you… I don't know"

-+-

It had just passed midnight when Draco, so frustrated with not being able to sleep, swung his legs over the side of his bed and sat up to put his slippers on. Deciding the fresh air would do him good Draco pulled a jumper on over his pyjamas before padding silently out of the dormitory and down into the common room. There was a young couple pashing in the corner. They didn't seem to know or care that Draco had entered the room. Chuckling, Draco continued out the common room and down the stoned hallway and up into the main building of Hogwarts.

Draco wasn't mindful of the noise he was making. He knew for a fact that Snape and Filch were patrolling the corridors that night and they were wound tightly around his little finger. Draco wondered down the main staircase before making his way across the Entrance Hall and out the main doors of Hogwarts and into the grounds.

A crisp fresh breeze swept across his face, washing away his sleepiness and frustrations and leaving him feeling new. He hated it when he couldn't sleep. The thousands of thoughts flooding through his brain, dancing across his consciousness before disappearing, too quickly for him to really ponder them. It always made him feel better going on midnight strolls…even if only until the next morning when he woke after only a few hours sleep to a full days school work.

The grass was soggy beneath his feet with dew and the moon was high in the sky, only a few days away from being full meaning not only did Draco not struggle to see but the whole grounds seemed to be glowing under a pale spotlight. As Draco strolled in the direction of the lake he noticed a silhouette against the lake. A black lump that slowly took the form of someone sitting with their head on their knees hugging themselves. Draco knew who it was but didn't call out. Instead he strolled up, his hands deep inside the pockets of his pyjama pants to keep them warm and plonked himself down next to the lump.

"Hi Harry."

Harry turned as someone sat next to him; startled, thinking it was Madam Pomfrey… Filch… or even Dumbledore himself coming down to bust him for being out of the hospital wing, especially at this hour. He was relieved when he found himself face to face with Draco, who looked tired and troubled.

"Hi Harry."

"Oh, fuck Draco, you scared me… what's up?" Draco was so close Harry could smell him, the general smell boys seem to have mixed with the cologne Draco had been wearing that day lingered in the air between them. Draco crossed his arms in front of him and stared out over the lake, avoiding Harry's gaze.

"I couldn't sleep…too much on my mind… you know how it is." Finally Draco turned and met Harry's stare. Butterfly's suddenly filled Harry's stomach and he swallowed hard. The same feeling in his gut Cho used to give him when he first started liking her.

A voice in the back of his head constantly chanted "this is wrong, this is wrong, this is wrong" but Harry could no longer help the way he felt. Closing his eyes Harry held his breath and finally allowed the thought "I like Draco more then a friend" to enter his mind and flood his soul.

The release of pressure and the relief he felt at finally admitting it to himself was almost enough to bring him to tears. The self hatred and fear he had felt over the past few weeks drained from him and he felt his whole body relax.

"Harry? Are you alright?" Draco watched Harry's epiphany, unaware of what was going on in Harry's head. Harry nodded and opened his eyes. His body was suddenly filled with fear again at the thought of Draco finding out how he felt. If Draco rejected him at this point, his embarrassment and disappointment would be overwhelming.

He had to tell him though. He couldn't let the moment pass otherwise he would never tell Draco and a lifetime of 'what ifs' would remain forever.

"Draco, I think I have a new addiction," Harry tightened his grip around his knees, pulling them even closer up to his chest, hoping they would somehow lessen the emotional blow of Draco's rejection.

This stunned Draco. After all he had been through with this asshole, with this inconsiderate prick, he was about to load another pile of shit onto Draco's already over flowing plate?

"What the hell do you mean another addiction? What could you possibly have fucked up now? Jesus. Harry, you're a fuckwit. How could you do this? How could you stuff up again? What is it now? Cocaine? Alcohol? What?" Draco stood and towered over Harry, reigning down upon him.

"No Draco… I don't mean anything like that… I... I shouldn't have put it like that…" Harry was steadily losing his nerve as Draco's anger rained down upon him. How could this person possibly have feelings for him?

"What do you mean then Harry?"

"I… I think I like you Draco. More then a friend." It sounded so juvenile now that Harry had finally said it out loud. So weak and pathetic that he wished he could open his mouth and jam the words back in.

Draco stopped and shook his head. He had to have heard him wrong. How could Harry Potter, this gorgeous, fragile, fuckable little thing, like the big bad Draco Malfoy.

"Don't mess with my head Potter. If this is meant to be some " ha ha Draco's a fag" joke then stop it right now and we'll forget it ever happened" Draco sat back down, a bit further away from Harry then he had been before.

This disheartened Harry and he almost agreed. "Yes Draco… it was just a fag joke" it would have been so much easier to deal with. Draco smacking the shit out of him would have been much less painful then him saying he didn't like him back.

"I'm not joking. I'm being completely one hundred percent honest and it's fucking killing me. I hate likening you Draco, but I do and it's not going away any time soon. I understand if you don't like me back… how could you? But I had to tell you… I had to get it out of my system." Harry looked back out over the lake. His eyes started to well up and though he willed it with all its might not to happen he began to cry. Big fat tears rolling down his cheek and falling off his chin. Suddenly he felt a rough hand against his cheek wiping the tears away. He looked at Draco, who looked terrified. Suddenly Draco pulled Harry towards him and kissed him roughly on the lips.

Harry sighed against Draco's lips. It wasn't like kissing a girl, soft and tender and tedious. This kiss was rough, hungry, passionate, and desperate. Draco's hand moved from Harry's cheek to the back of his head. Holding Harry against him, grabbing his hair, not wanting to ever let go.

After want seemed like hours Draco let go and Harry slowly moved away, licking his lips before wiping them against his jumper.

"I think I like you to Harry." Draco whispered and then grinned. Harry began to laugh, more out of relief then the stupidity of Draco's last statement. Draco began to laugh to and moved behind Harry, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and resting his forehead on the back of Harry's neck. It felt so good to finally be this close to him. His sleepless nights of worrying about whether his feelings for Harry were mutual where certainly worth this.

"You know they are letting me out of the hospital wing in the next few weeks." Harry leaned back against Draco.

"Really? That's great!"

"Yeah… I also get a room to myself to…so…yeah" Harry grinned and Draco chuckled, kissing Harry's neck.

"You're a cheeky bastard. One second your all meek and mild and the next you think you're a stud. How about we take this slow huh? Let's not fuck it up."

Harry nodded. He wasn't sure whether he should be insulted, but right now he was too high on the adrenalin of this forbidden snuggle that he didn't care.

"Well Potter. We better head back up to the castle… if Madam Pomfrey finds out you've escaped she'll have my balls and keep you prisoner until graduation."

Note from the beta: I've been on this child's back about this for months, so leave some damn good reviews! Love Sezza Rikda!