Disclaimer: Don't own any of this stuff.

A/N: I have returned with a new EVA fic and despite the fact that I feel the pair is extremely overdone, I did a S/A anyway. Couldn't get the idea out of my head.

Shinji POV:

Have you ever felt alone? I have. Every day of my life. We're not talking about no one around you alone either, though I guess I fall into that category too. I mean being in a crowded room and still feeling like there is no one there. It's kind of like drowning and not being able to swim. You pray someone saves you. With every breathe your lunges fill more and more with water. With every breathe you hope you will find air. You plead for someone to save you. And then it settles in…the hopelessness. You're going to die this way.

This is my life 10 years after the Angels. Everyone split their own ways after that. The Commander, I refuse to call him father now, tried to cause the Third Impact. That cost him his life. We had all stopped him just in time. Everyone else had moved out of Tokyo 3.

Rei was a diplomat now. She was the head of Japanese defense. Never had a boyfriend, never dated, never married. Except for that few months after the Angels when we were together. She was basically the same now as she was back then. I guess Ritsuko was right when she said she wasn't very adapt at living.

Misato had her own life now. She was happy. Kaji had shown up at the door step a few weeks after the Commander was killed. I don't think I ever saw her cry so much. And yet they were tears of joy. I wish I could be that happy. Kaji was the best detective Kyoto had ever seen.

I still lived in the same city. I have grown quiet a bit. I hit a growth spurt my junior year of high school. I now towered at 6'5. I had put my entire life savings into a little restaurant after I had graduated Culinary School. I lived in a little apartment by myself just a few blocks from my restaurant.

The other had just dispersed in other ways. Never heard from anyone.

And Asuka? She left right after we defeated the Commander. She went back to Germany for "her parade and heroin's welcome". Nothing in 10 years. Not a letter, not a call, not an email. I guess I really was a pain to her. When she left….I promised that was the last time I would ever shed a tear for anyone. I kept that promise.

I don't know why I did it. Run that exact situation through a million times and I do the same thing. I act like nothing is wrong and walk off. Why did I save that one woman? Was it the red hair? Just because she had hair like Her. Was it an attempt to finally show some backbone? Or was I just trying to be a hero again. Trying to get someone to notice me. All I know now is that people who say that paper cuts are the worse kind of pain have never been shot from point blank. It feels like your muscles are on fire. With every breathe it hurts worse. At least the woman had gotten away. I made sure of that.

End of POV:

Misato burst through the doors of the emergency room. The doctor ran in after her with several orderlies, "Ma'am, you can't just come in here like this. This is a sterile environment. I understand that you are upset about your brother-"

Misato spun around on her heels and shot the doctor a death glare, "I'm not his sister. I was his guardian when he was younger. He is like a son to me. And if you think these little boys are going to keep me from checking on my little boy then you have another thing coming."

"I understand ma'am but-"

Misato quickly drew her gun and pointed it at the doctor's forehead, "Maybe I could give you a little insight on Shinji's condition. Maybe a little first hand experience."

"Misato calm down, they're just trying to help Shinji," stated Kaji as he quickly walked through the doors and took the gun from Misato.

"I should call the authorities," mumbled the doctor.

Kaji smirked and flashed his bag, "With all respect good doctor, I am the authorities."

The doctor sighed and motioned for the two to follow. As they went through the emergency room, Misato's heart grew faster. She had been this way a million times. She knew where they were heading without even having to ask. She collapsed in tears as she saw the three letters she feared the most right now. ICU. Kaji helped her stand and led her on. They finally stopped at a door. The doctor turned around, "Now miss, you must refrain from embracing him. We have sown together his wounds, but with a little pressure, they could open again. One bullet hit him right below the knee, one in the arm, one in the chest. That one missed his heart by centimeters. These next few days will be crucial."

Misato nodded, "I understand. Do we know why he was shot?"

The doctor nodded, "The young woman came in about 30 minutes ago. She was being mugged by a gentleman. After he got her wallet, he proceeded to…make advances on her. Mr. Ikari tackled the mugger tacking the bullet in the arm. Then one in the leg. When he told the girl to run and refused to get off the mugger, he was shot in the chest. The young man is a hero ma'am."

Misato nodded a wiped a few tears away, "That's my boy."

The doctor frowned, "There is one more thing I want to talk to you about.."

"What's that?"

"Well, we had to removed his shirt when we were stitching up his arm. Umm…could you tell me if Shinji tends to be in a depressive state?"

Misato's heart stopped, "Why?"

The doctor motioned for Misato to follow her. They entered the room where Shinji lay on the bed still asleep. The covers only cover to his waist. Misato gasped at what she saw. Shinji's body was covered in scars. But not just any scars, the kind that come from a deep cut. Misato starred in disbelief, "How-"

"We asked him after the surgery. We couldn't get a straight answer, but he implied that he did them himself."

"Why?"

"They made me feel something other than loneliness," came a weak voice. Misato looked up a Shinji's face to see him eyes barely opened. She immediately wanted to hug him but was held back by Kaji. Shinji gave a weak frown, "Sorry you had to come visit me. I didn't want to be any trouble."

"Listen here young man, I'm your guardian-"

"Was my guardian. But you forgot that after you got married didn't you?"

"I-"

"You left just like everyone else did. What did you think? That I would just live on by myself and not feel this way?"

"Shinji…why did you do this to yourself? You know you could always come and visit."

"That works both ways you know. You haven't called, visited or written since the wedding. Been too busy with your new happier life?"

"Shinji-"

Shinji closed his eyes again, "Look, you don't have to feel obligated to stay here any more. Thanks for coming."

"It's not going to be that easy Shinji. You can't just ignore this like everything else."

Shinji's eyes popped open with rage, "What the hell am I suppose to do? Leave it bottled up inside of me so it will eat me alive? Or maybe you just want to pretend these pst few years never happened and just want us to hug and make up."

"I moved on Shinji, you should too."

"To what! What is there for me to move on too? Every single person I have ever allowed to get close to me has left me hanging. My dad when I was little, you after the angels, Rei when she went into politics…"

"And Asuka?"

Shinji closed his eyes, "I need my rest. I would thank you to be leaving now."

"Damn it Shinji! Just admit it. You miss her. You wish she had never left."

Shinji didn't answer. After a while Kaji escorted her out. The doctor followed. They stood outside the door. The Doctor looked up at the two, "Look, he will be fine physically, but my bigger concern is my psychological and emotional condition. He has a lot of issues, most of them probably deal around that girl you mentioned. So, as a term of his release, I am going to ask him to attend at least 15 sessions with a psychiatrist. After this time, there will be an evaluation to decide if more is needed. Plus, he will require some physical therapy to learn to use his leg again, but that will take some time before that happens. He needs to heal right now."

"But, he'll be okay right?" asked a shaky Misato.

"Well, we'll know tomorrow morning. Tonight is not going to be easy. He lost a lot of blood."