Reincarnations and Regrets
Disclaimer: Plotline mine. That's it.
A/N: My first IY/YYH fic! YAY! Kinda sad that it isn't Hi/Kag, but this idea struck my so hard that I had to type it up.
Oh why cant I be what you need
a new improved version of me
but I'm nothing so good
no I'm nothing
just bones, a lonely ghost burning down songs
of violence of love and of sorrow
I beg for just one more tomorrow
where you hold me down fold me in
deep, deep, deep in the heart of your sins
-From Autumn to Ashes 'Autumn's Monologue'
It had started with a simple accident, but became the event that started the chain reaction that lead Yusuke to believe he had a heart.
He had been running down the street, laughing his head off as he easily outran Kuwabara, and had run straight into her. They had stumbled, their legs becoming entangled together, and he ended up with a face full of her chest.
He hadn't minded. He had actually grinned and buried himself deeper.
She had though.
With a cry, she had flung him off and dealt him a slap that put Keiko to shame.
"Hentai!" she cried indignantly.
He rubbed his cheek and gave her his infamous smirk. "Sorry, miss," he said, not in the least apologetic. "My friend was trying to catch me so he could try to beat me up. I wasn't looking where I was going."
"Yurameshi!" Kuwabara bellowed. "I'm going to kill you!"
She watched as 'Yurameshi' chuckled. "Yeah, yeah," he replied, still on the ground watching her. "I'm sure you could try Kuwabara. But I could throttle you with my arms and legs tied behind my back." He got up and dusted himself off, offering her a hand up. "Yurameshi Yusuke," he declared.
"Higurashi Kagome," she said uncertainly, grasping his rough hands in one of her small, soft ones. He watched with interest as her eyes slightly narrowed when their hands connected.
"I know this might sound cheesy," he began, "but-."
"It feels like we've met," she said, cutting him off.
"Yeah," he said with a laugh, scratching his head, "I guess it doesn't sound as weird as I thought."
She shrugged and bent to pick up her purse. "I've heard a lot weirder," she reassured him.
"So… Would you like to go out sometime?" he asked her hopefully. He hadn't gone out with anyone since Keiko efficiently dumped him for Kurama.
Kagome gave him an amused smile as she straightened. "I'm sorry," she said, "I make it a point to not date clumsy strangers."
"That's cool," he said with a shrug, trying to act nonchalant. He watched as she began to walk away.
"HA!" Kuwabara crowed, a few feet away from Yusuke, out of breath. "I told you I'd catch up to you!" he gasped out, bending over and holding his sides.
Yusuke rolled his eyes. "Sure, Kuwabara," he agreed, rolling up his sleeve, "let's get this over with." He swiftly turned around and slammed his fist into Kuwabara's jaw. He didn't even bother to look at Kuwabara's prone figure.
"You're going to pay for that, Yurameshi," Kuwabara managed to squeak out.
"Yeah, yeah, I know," Yusuke said offhandedly as he rolled his sleeve back down. He glanced up to find Kagome looking at him with interest. "What?"
She tilted her head at him, her eyes darting from him to Kuwabara.
"Don't tell me you're one of those anti-violence types," he said. "'Cuz, he was going to hit me if I didn't hit him. I'm not going to let myself get hurt just to prove a point."
"You're not supposed to fight in front of girls, Yurameshi," Kuwabara said from his position on the ground.
"She's not complaining, Kuwabara," Yusuke said, turning to kick him lightly in the ribs. He turned back to see Kagome look at him with a flash of recognition in her eyes.
"You know what, I'd love to go out with you," she said suddenly.
And that's how it started, the love affair between a spirit detective and a miko who time-traveled. Of course, they hadn't known about each others' odd jobs at first, but after a few weeks of strange courtship, the truth began to leak through. She had cried with him when he told her how Genkai died, laughed when she came back, and promised to kick Keiko's ass if they ever crossed paths. In return, he promised to protect her from any demon that came after the jewel in the modern era, and to pound Inuyasha if he ever met him, which was a fat chance, because after 4 years of chasing jewel shards, the well had mysteriously sealed.
The first time when he caught her looking at him with a strange sadness in her eyes, he had asked her what she was looking at.
She simply laughed and replied, "Nothing, you're just cute."
He had shrugged it off and laughed with her.
It was now that he was regretting it.
She stood in front of him, a white haired figure sitting on the well behind her. "I'm sorry," she started. "I never meant for this to happen."
"That's crap," he spat out. "You knew the whole time what I was. And you just dated me because of that."
She shook her head. "No, it wasn't like that! Sure, that's what caught my eye, but I stayed because I was starting to fall in love with you for who you were, not what."
He scoffed. "If you love me so much, why are you leaving me?"
She was speechless as tears began to pour down her eyes. She opened her mouth but only a sob escaped.
"Exactly," he hissed. "I was nothing to you; nothing but a replacement. I'd think you'd understand this the most… He just kept you around because you were her reincarnation."
"Shut up," the white figure said, pushing off the well and standing ominously behind Kagome, like a master behind his puppet. "Kagome doesn't have to listen to this. Let's go, Kagome."
"No, stay," Yusuke argued. He glared defiantly at Inuyasha. "I don't care if I am your reincarnation, I'll kill you myself." He clenched and unclenched his fists. "You don't want her listen because what I say is true. You don't want her to stay because if she does she'll make up her own mind. Maybe you don't belong in her life anymore; the well sealed for a reason. Maybe you were never supposed to see her again. Maybe-."
"Stop it," Kagome whispered. "Just stop fighting!" She stepped closer to Yusuke, and suddenly it didn't seem like she was a puppet, but a bright young woman whose heart was breaking. "I'm not leaving because I love him, Yusuke, I don't love him like that anymore. I'm leaving because I have responsibilities. This is killing me! I'm breaking in two over you. But I have to go down that well… Nothing we say, wish, or do, can change that fact… Too many lives depend on me leaving… On me leaving you… Yes, I did wish every night that he would come for me, that he would save me from the loneliness eating me alive. But that was before I met you. Before I kissed you… Before I loved you."
She paused and took a shuddering breath, her shoulders shaking with the effort to keep her sobs at bay. "If I had a choice, I would stay," she admitted.
"Why can't you?" he asked in a whisper, taking a step closer, so they were not touching by a mere millimeter. "We could find someplace for you, me, and no one else. Somewhere where time, responsibilities don't exist. Somewhere where there's no toddler breathing down my neck and there's no half-demon screaming into your ear. Somewhere for you and me and our love."
"Oh Yusuke," she murmured, throwing her arms around his neck. He could feel her tears soaking through his jacket and shirt, to drip down his collarbone and strike his heart. He wrapped his arms around her waist. "That place doesn't exist. I wish it did, but it doesn't. And in this world, I do have responsibilities. And yet, I promise, till the die, I will never love again." Slowly their eyes met, and then, ever so softly, she brushed her lips against his. "Goodbye Yusuke."
And then, with a leap, Inuyasha and Kagome passed through time to go back to the past and reach their future. In a flash of blue light, everything Yusuke had cherished and loved was gone.
It had started with a simple accident, but became the event that started the chain reaction that lead Yusuke to believe he had a heart.
And that heart could be broken.
The thing is, I'm not worth the sorrow
And if you come and meet me tomorrow
I will hold you down, fold you in
Deep, deep, deep in the fiction we live
I break in two over you
I break in two
And if a piece of you dies
Autumn, I will bring you back to life
Of course I see you
I do.
-From Autumn to Ashes 'The Fiction We Live'
A/N: So... lol. I seem to have a problem writing happy one-shots... I apologize profusely. Now I have to go and do my five page english essay.