CW: Konnichiwa! I present to you guys my first one-shot…out of embarrassment and other mindless babble I need to get off my chest. (cough, cough) if you've read my stories before, then hopefully I will try to amaze you with my skill of writing-

Riku: What skill?

CW: …and how deeply and emotionally I can write. . I will explain more as to why I wrote this at the end, so please enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own shit….so please don't sue (grovels)

Warning: Slash, SoraXRiku, shounen-ai, angst and confused teenage boys in love (cackles)

Dedication: This is dedicated to my best friend…even though she never reads anything and never has read a book in her life, except for Roald Dahl's Matilda twice. Lol. Which is lucky for me because I would be very embarrassed if she ever saw this (sweat drop) this also goes out to anyone who ever felt unwanted, unloved, confused, psychotic, messed up, thinking their falling in love, and especially for gays, lesbians and bi-sexuals and of course yaoi, shounen-ai and RikuXSora lovers:D

oOoOOoOoOOoOo

I said I use the inconsistencies
To undress the machine,
You're the poster boy, their selling point, the focus for their new campaign.
(Something has to be done)
I'm bound to come around about
(Bound to come around)
Oh, but can't you, can't you feel it rolling off your lips,
Tensing up your shoulders, c'mon...

Well, it's love (It's love)
Make it hurt (I deserve it)
Well, it's love (It's love)
Make it hurt (I deserve it)
Well, it's love, it's love, it's love...
Make it hurt.

oOoOOoOoOOoOo

Bonus Mosh Pt. 2

by Taking Back Sunday.

oOoOOoOoOOoOo

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"She's a bitch!"

Sora gazed at his best friend Riku, who was still surprisingly fuming over his last girlfriend. They had gone out for about five months and by the way Riku had kept going on about her…she was different from the rest, even though they had broken up weeks ago after Riku cheated on her. He could tell his best friend had loved her.

Even though Riku had complained numerous times about how much he missed her, Sora was still confused as to why he had cheated on her. Heck he was even more confused as to how Riku had fallen in love with her.

I mean this is Riku we're talking about here. He thought to himself while looking down at his chipped black nail varnish. Riku and I both said there's no such thing as love, but since I've been going out with Kairi…I've been thinking a lot about her lately…Riku too.

"I mean when I asked her if she wanted to meet up for old times sake on Thursday, we started to cuddle, laugh and talk like we usually did…then we made out. And now that I saw her band play last night at Barfly she totally ignored me and treated me differently from all her friends! I hate her!...but then…why can't I get her out of my head Sora?" Riku collapsed on his stomach in a frustrated heap next to the sable haired boy sitting on his bed.

Sora sighed as her looked down at his best friend and rubbed his back affectionately, dying to slip a hand under the older boys shirt. Which was currently exposing his smooth pale lower back. No! Sora you have a girlfriend…you're not a cheater and you never will be! You're not even GAY!

They sat in silence for a few moments until Sora decided to speak. He was as confused as Riku was about the whole situation, the only advice he gave him was…

"Riku, she was a jerk, just…try to move on and forget about her! We just need a large tub of that large walnut ice-cream and some of your favorite foods, like Pot Noodle or popcorn!"

…mostly shit. But at least it made the older boy chuckle, causing Sora to smirk and stare at those cute little pink lips of Riku's. He wanted to kiss them so badly. "Lets go get some food!" He announced and slapped his friend's butt, maybe if they did something different then it would get Riku's mind off Adrienne, his ex-girlfriend.

"Ngh, but…I just don't get it, I thought we had something special! I didn't mean to cheat on her, I was…confused and lonely, because I never saw her enough." He chuckled. "I remember when we were doing it, we had to stop in the middle of it cause I kept hitting her bladder and she wanted a piss." He sighed and ran a hand through his smooth silky locks.

Apparently this was going to go on for awhile. Sora was the only one Riku could confide all his secrets in and Sora did the same. They had been best friends since the beginning of high school, always cracking jokes, laughing, smiling, watching horror films, going to concerts. You rarely saw the one without the other…until now. At the end of high school Sora had decided to go to a different college than Riku, but they still kept in close contact, having over hour long phone calls every other day or sleeping over each others houses when ever they got the chance.

Over all Sora knew that Riku missed him greatly and Sora did too. Life seemed weirder now that they were further apart. They had found new friends, gone out with new people, partied more and more. Life seemed to be speeding up aggressively and it just felt strange that they never saw each other each day as they did in high school. They had grown up without even knowing it. Even though they were both still young at the age of seventeen, there was no way to stop them from becoming adults.

"Are you even listening to me anymore?" Riku asked him while poking him in the head. "I hate it when you go all spacey on me. It's like those times when you go on forever about the whole plot of a story or comic you're going to write…they're great and all but, dude…you think to much." Sora blinked and stared at Riku as he tried to register in his mind what his best friend had just said. As Riku stood up, He caught a glimpse of the middle of Riku's left lower arm and sighed at the faint traces of red slashes above the many black shag bands and spiked bracelets.

Sora ignored them and decided to ask about them later. He playfully kicked Riku in the butt and laughed when the silver haired bishe gave him the finger without turning round. "At least I don't go on and on about the 'Box Theory!'" Sora teased.

"Goddamn you! You've got me thinking about it now you've mentioned it!" Riku growled, causing the younger boy to laugh out loud.

The 'Box Theory' was basically what Riku thought about the universe in general. He couldn't imagine that space went on and on forever…that it had to end somewhere, thus Space being inside a box. For example blood, tissue, organs, bones, etc are all contained in the human body, and we humans live in buildings, those buildings are contained in cities, towns, etc and they're contained in countries and continents, which are contained in the earth and the earth is contained in space. Confused? Good! Because Sora was still trying to figure out on how Riku had thought of it.

"I'm hungry…can we make some cheesy broccoli and cauliflower pasta?" Sora asked hopefully.

Riku cast his eyes downwards. "Adrienne always hated pasta. Grrrrr WHY CAN'T I GET HER OUT OF MY HEAD?" He shouted kicking one of the many boxes that covered his floor. That's if you could ever find his floor. As usual it was covered in typical school books, artwork, clothes, pants and tons upon tons of dirty dishes plates and cups. All of which naturally had food growing on them. If Riku's mother saw this. She would ground him until she saw fit.

The brunette sighed again and collapsed back on the bed, while staring at the low, wooden ceiling. Riku's room was in the attic, where in winter it was constantly cold and in summer always hot. His house was quite large with six bedrooms, one downstairs and five upstairs. Riku's parents weren't entirely rich, even though they did have a Jacuzzi downstairs, but they did foster which gave them enough money to survive on while they were constantly in dept.

Riku's mother was a school teacher while his father was unemployed because he was overweight and diabetic, but he did do odd jobs for people. He was good with his hands at carpentry; this led to him making an attic room for Riku.

Even though Riku's parents seemed like a nice happy couple, they were constantly shouting at each other, at Riku or at the little boys they fostered. But they rarely shouted at Sephiroth, Riku's older brother who was now at university and the family's beloved child. This is what made Riku the way he was. With his black clothing and constant heavy metal music playing loudly. This is what made him mental.

He was always the ignored one. Even though his family bought him cheap clothing and made him meals, even though he rarely ate them. He still felt alone. Whenever he would walk into a room or talk to his mother and father they would always have a go at him for something. Whether it was about what he was wearing, if his room was tidy before he went out or something else…he would get blamed for it. Even when Sephiroth was still living with them, he still got blamed.

His mother even went as far as grabbing Riku's hair one time and slamming his head against the microwave door. Another time was when she tried to strangle him and threw him onto the floor, bruising some of his ribs.

Riku had told Sora that it was so painful that he could barely walk let alone breathe. Riku also said that he kept falling and getting really bad dizzy spells. Up until this day Riku still had bad pains near his ribs and sometimes found it difficult to breathe.

Sora felt the stinging of tears about to fall as he remembered all those depressed talks Riku and Sora had about how fucked up each others lives were. That's another thing as to why they were such good friends, they both understood what each other had been through because they had had similar experiences with their families. Although Riku's mental ness was both psychological and physical, Sora knew that his was only psychological.

Sora rubbed his eyes furiously, not wanting Riku to see that he was about to cry and looked up to see Riku huddled in a ball on his computer chair. Sora sniffed loudly and sat up, facing his friend. "Riku?"

No answer.

The sable haired boy stood up and walked cautiously over to his friend, placing a hand on is shoulder and he knelt in front of him. "You okay?"

Riku shook his head 'no' and heaved a heavy sigh, burying his head deeper into the crook of his crossed arms and legs.

Sora bit his lip. Crap, what should I do? I've never dealt with anyone over a broken relationship before. Sora rubbed Riku's arm attentively and grinned evilly as a wicked idea formed in his head. He placed both hands near Riku's armpit and tickled him as quickly as he could.

Riku squirmed at the contact and tried to push his arms back closer to his sides. But that only resulted in Sora's hands getting squashed, which of course led to more tickling. Riku burst out laughing as he fell onto the floor, Sora still tickling him mercilessly as he pinned him into a writhing mass of human flesh on the green carpet. Satisfied, Sora sat on top of Riku's stomach, grinning evilly as the older boy beneath him poked his tongue out.

"Feel better?" He asked.

Riku let out a frustrated sigh, looked away for a second and then looked up at his best friend, giving him a weak smile. "A little, thanks. As long as you don't fart on me, I'll be okay."

"You may change your mind in a minute or two." Sora replied chuckling. "I still haven't forgiven you for that time in high school when we were sitting on the green chairs."

Riku blanched. "That was like…What? Four years ago! I can't believe you can still remember it."

"WELL! It's not exactly hard to forget when your best friend farts on you for the first time! Not once but THREE times! And I felt the vibrations!" Sora laughed at the memory and Riku snickered beneath him. He missed the old days.

"Did you just fart?"

Sora raised an eyebrow. "No but, wait!" Sora lifted himself a little bit off Riku's slim stomach and prepared to fire!

Riku struggled beneath the smaller boy, trying to get away, but failed just as Sora muttered those dreadful words. "Ahhh, silent but deadly…in about ten seconds anyways." Riku quickly pinched his nose tightly with his thumb and forefinger before the nuclear smell could kill him off.

"You're sick you know that?"

Sora gave him his cheesy trademark grin and poked him in the stomach, causing the older boy to flinch. "I learn from the best!"

Riku gave him a lop-sided grin. "Adrienne used to say that too."

Sora gave a frustrated sigh and got up off Riku. Not this again! He knew he was being mean, but now whenever he came over to see Riku, they would always talk about her, it just got bugging after awhile.

"Sorry" Riku muttered, causing Sora to turn around. "It's just that, I miss her so much! There were loads of things that I liked about her and then there were tons of things that I'd hate about her as well. Like when we talked on MSN, we would always get into arguments over stupid things and whenever I'd joke about things she'd say, she would get really pissed and sign out in a mood."

Sora stared as he saw Riku's eyes begin to fill with tears. He'd rarely seen Riku cry before. He was always the strong one, no matter how much he hated himself or his family. The first time he had seen his friend cry was when they stared over his brother Cloud's house for an entire weekend.

They had started to go through his liquor cabinet and had found a bottle of blue and black Absinthe. They both had a shot glass of each and then made some soup, adding some Absinthe to the soup. It was nice at first but then it started to taste really gross and they left it. After a few minutes they had gotten very depressed and started to discuss how horrible their home life was. This made sora cry and that's when he'd first seen Riku cry too.

Not from laughter like he usually did but from being depressed.

It wasn't until a few months later that Sora had found out from Cloud that you weren't supposed to drink it straight, but to light it or drink it with salt and lemon. Both of them couldn't stop laughing after Sora told Riku.

But this wasn't to do with alcohol, Riku was really upset and it was the first time Sora had ever seen Riku upset over a girl before. He walked over to Riku and sat behind him, hugging him close, with Riku sitting between his legs. Thank god they were alone up here and everyone was asleep, otherwise this would have looked very dodgy.

Sora started to rock softly in a comforting manner, to soothe his friend's cries. If he gets this off is chest. Then it'll help him try to get over Adrienne quicker. It felt weird that Sora was the one comforting Riku and not the other way round since Sora was more the emotional type, he was usually the one to be comforted by his older friend. But he was happy to help none the less.

"Five months." Riku sniffed as Sora watched another tear trickle down his friends face. "Five fuckin' months, my longest relationship ever and we break up all because whenever I have a girlfriend, every friggin bitch in town starts to throw herself at me. So what if I couldn't control my emotions? I'm a teenager right? I'm still trying to fucking get all my hormones in order." He sniffed loudly again and Sora held him tighter.

"Don't worry, you'll get over her soon. She was a stupid slut Riku. You'll find someone better."

"Yeah, well…it's not that simple…life isn't friggin simple. Everything is fucked up in the world and no-one cares. Girls are so confusing…I've had enough of them! I'm going to turn gay…even if Adrienne was good at sucking my dick when she handcuffed me to the bed."

Sora rolled his eyes as he say the silver haired boy laugh quietly at his fun loving memory. "Riku you say that every time you get frustrated over a girl. But you know you'll never turn gay."

"Humph, that's what you think."

"But even if you did turn gay, you'll be too freaked out by the sex thing, you know caressing another guys dick, while he sucks you off or fingers yo-"

"OKAY! So that's kinda gross, but still…" He sighed and stared at his clothes rack in the corner of his room. "This love thing is so confusing…I wish I could just end it all now. No-one would miss me, besides you." He smiled and looked up at the younger boy's deep azure eyes, feeling him wipe a newly fallen tear away from his damp cheek.

Sora knew this wasn't true. Hundreds of people would miss Riku if he did commit suicide. Even though Riku was showing his true self to him now, he knew that wherever Riku had gone, he had made a friend. He made people laugh and feel welcome. He had a knack and a very special gift for getting along with strangers.

Sora wished he had that talent.

He hated being so shy, timid and nervous in front of strangers. Most of this was due to his mother. She constantly put him down all the time, shouting about his attitude problems towards her, making him feel weak and useless. Making him want to die everyday. He would constantly beat himself up over and over in his mind as to why she hated him so much. This also led to him thinking that everyone else hated him, except for Riku.

But lately Sora's father, a shy, easy-going gentle man had put his foot down. He had been constantly sleeping on the couch, loosing sleep and working overtime to pay the bills. While Sora's mother had quit her job over a year ago, complaining of back pains. This was a lie. She just wanted to break Sora's father, using him for his money, going against him and saying that he had made Sora side with him against her. When really she had done it on her own.

Sora knew his mother was mental, and he also knew that he was slowly going mental himself because of her. Even though his father had told his mother that he was going to divorce her and sell the house, he still felt hated and alone. Him and Sora were going to move out of the house while his mother and older brother stayed there until the house sold. His mother of course had to ruin that idea. She said that they were abandoning Sora's older brother and that she was going to move out instead.

She blamed Sora's father for ever leaving the precious middle child…who was old enough to move into a flat with his girlfriend on his own. But of course he was too lazy. She blamed Sora's father for everything, especially about learning that his father's other child from his first marriage was living two doors down from them. According to his mother, EVERYTHING was his father's fault, from her being mental, to a crack in a ceiling and most importantly forcing her youngest son against her, who she now hated and Sora hated back.

Soon he would be rid of her forever, but that seemed like years away.

"If you ever did kill yourself, I'd kill myself too. I wouldn't be able to live without you." Sora whispered into his friend's soft, sweet smelling hair. He sniffed loudly and blinked furiously as he felt his vision start to sting and blur with thoughts running through his head of a life without Riku.

Riku smiled, happy to have found someone like Sora that understood him fully. "Yeah I know. Thanks for making me feel better Sora. What time is it anyways?"

Sora pulled out his phone in his pocket, flicking it open to look at the neon green numbers glowing in the dark. "It's 3:47. Wanna go to bed now?" He asked yawning as he realized he was suddenly tired.

"Yeah" Riku replied and stood up stretching.

The younger wrapped his arms around his legs as he watched his best friend's body twist and arch gracefully. He usually did this whenever he was bored. He would stare at people and see how their bodies moved with everyday movements, such as talking, eating, walking, running, see how they expressed emotions on their faces or with actions. He would then try to imagine how to draw these poses and emotions on paper. He was still learning how to draw the human body properly through college, but he really wanted to be a character designer for comics, video games or cartoons.

But with Riku he could tell it was something different. He loved how the older boy's body had curves in all the right places, or some of the ways he stood or sat with different emotions playing on his slim, pale face, with those mesmerizing sea-green eyes.

Before Riku turned back around Sora quickly stood up and started to crawl under the soft, plump quilt of the double bed, blushing furiously and hoping to God that Riku wouldn't notice.

He snuggled under the cold quilt, trying to get warm as Riku slowly plopped down next him, wrapping the quilt around him tightly as well. "F-fuck it's c-cold" He muttered and relaxed when he felt Sora's head rest on the crook of his neck, trying to share body heat with him.

Sora laid there, crouched in a foetal position, trying to get warm as fast as he could. He watched quietly as Riku's chest slowly went up and down in a constant Rhythm. He swallowed hard when he remembered about what he had seen on Riku's left arm. It was now or never. "I saw the cuts again…why'd did you do it Riku?"

Riku sighed and opened his eyes slowly. "…Because my life is shit, that's why."

Sora bit his lip. It was always the same answer, but he knew it was deeper than that. "I know it is. Mine is too, and everyone else's as well, but…you know I care about you…you know I hate seeing you hurt. So why Riku?" He sat up and faced the older boy. "Why don't you let me help you to make you stop it. You know how much I worry about you! I worry about you everyday. Scared that you might go too far with it or kill yourself."

Riku stared in awe at his younger friend as he saw tears start to run down his face.

"I know we both know that everyone hates us and our lives are shit but…you're the only reason that I'm still here. You're the only person I truly care about and…and I…I love you." Sora tried to swallow the burning pain in his throat, but it wasn't working. I can't believe I just said that. I'm such an idiot. He doesn't like me that way. Oh shit, why did I say that to him? He's never going to talk to me again! Sora quickly dissolved into a shivering ball of tears under the quilt. Too scared to move, to speak or do anything except cry.

Argh! Why the hell did I just say that? I'm such an arse! I wish I could disappear somewhere and die. He stiffened at the contact of Riku putting comforting hand on his shoulder. "Sora?"

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! I didn't know this would happen. I didn't even like you in that way until a few months ago. It's just that you're the only person who ever really cared for me, and loved me as a friend. But now I've ruined everything and I'm sorry, I really am! Please don't hate me…please!"

"I don't hate you Sora. Come on, why are you so ashamed of this? It's okay for people to fancy their best friends."

"Not when their best friend is the same sex as them it isn't! I wish I could die, you don't like me in that way, I have a girlfriend and I don't want to make matters worse with you because your still not over Adrienne yet…life couldn't anymore fucked up." He squeezed his eyes shut to push out more tears that were starting to fall.

"…Sora" Riku replied quietly while rubbing the younger boys back. "I hate Adrienne, you know that and you also know that every time I talk about her to you, whether you like it or not. It makes me feel happier, more confident. Because I know that I can be myself in front of you without having to act around you or make you laugh. And I really…like you in that way too."

The brunette looked away miserably, staring at the cover of the quilt as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. "You're just saying that to make me feel better." He mumbled.

"If I was then would I do this?" Sora's cheeks felt as if they were on fire when he felt Riku kiss him on the, trailing light sweet kisses towards his mouth. He pushed Sora down onto his back and pressed his lips up against his.

Sora froze at the soft contact of Riku's lips on his. He had been waiting for months to do this but was too scared of what would follow. I can't believe this is happening. Riku, who I've fancied for ages is kissing me! And…I like it.

Sora slowly closed his eyes and melted into the kiss as the two boys started to open their mouths slightly, breathing heavily. The younger boy was hesitant at first when he felt Riku's warm, wet tongue slide over the roof of his mouth, causing shivers of ecstasy to run down his spine. Slowly he ran the tip of his tongue over the underside of the silver haired bishie's tongue. And then started to grow more confident as Riku began to lap his tongue against his, searching every crevice in the younger boy's mouth.

Riku felt the temperature rise another notch as he pressed himself up against Sora, practically laying on top on him, loving every minute of this as he felt Sora grip and run his finger through his silver locks, moaning into the kiss every now and then. He tried desperately to stop himself from touching Sora, but it was proving difficult.

Sora broke the kiss quickly gasping for air and staring back at Riku wide eyed, who was also finding it hard to breathe as well. I can't believe we just did that!

I can't believe I just kissed him! Riku thought to himself as he bent down to give Sora a kiss on the nose. He's amazing!

All this time we've been friends and I would have never have thought of Riku being able to kiss as good as that! Sora desperately wanted to pinch himself to see if this was real, but Riku beat him to it. "Ow" He muttered when he felt a sharp pain in his upper arm, but forgave the older teen when he kissed it better. "This is so weird" He said as Riku rested his chin on Sora's torso.

"I know, but I think it'll get better once we get used to it."

"You mean going out? Together?" Sora asked raising an eyebrow.

"Yep. Just so long as know one knows about it till we're ready to say it. Is that okay with you?"

"Yeah…it's just that you'll have to help me dump Kairi okay? I'm kind of getting bored of her like I always do. And no cheating?"

"No cheating" Riku replied, smiling as he kissed the boy's chest.

oOoOOo - Fin – oOOoOo

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CW- So what do you guys thinks think? Good? Bad? Okayish? Would have loved to carry on with the make out scene but they're only starting to get used to each other liking each other. So it was quite difficult. But I think I did good. I know it took awhile to actually get to the good parts but i wanted you to feel the anguish the both of them were going through…or something like that.

Sora: That was crap! Why did I cry so much?

Riku: And I only got one snog? What's wrong with you woman?

CW – Ignore them, anyways on to why I did this one-shot. Almost everything in this story is true about me and my best friend's lives, except for the ending…totally made up . anyways…yeah she's riku and I'm sora, so you can see how our lives are very messed up and crap. I needed to get things off my chest and the only way to do this without my best friend knowing…even though I tell her everything…was through writing. (clears throat) my best friend has been very upset over her last relationship and we did see his band at a local club one night, where he ignored her completely. She was very distraught and I had to comfort her in the cold while everyone stared at us like a couple of lesbians. . and this is how all this began. So I hope you enjoyed, it was quite easy to write since I know our lives inside out.

And if you loved it, liked it, thought it was gd or crap plz plz plz review! I'm desperate to know what you guys thought of it and thank you for reading.