Author's Note:. Hello! I am pleased to announce the arrival of my fourth Naruto fanfic. I should be working on LC right now, but my sister insisted that I at least post a first chapter for this one, since it is our baby. She loves it dearly.
And as such, I hereby dedicate this entire fic to my lovely b-face.
Summary:. Itachi is bored. Sakura thought Sasuke was hot... what happens when she runs into his brother? Literally? They get coffee and plot madness, of course.
Pairings:. Um... ItaSaku? No, that's wrong, Itachi is just bored. SasuNaru? No, they're barely in the story at all so far. GaiKiba? Wtf, that has nothing to do with anything, don't listen to me.
Warnings:. Slow updating, the Uchiha Effect, plot holes, and general insanity.
Disclaimer:. I don't own it okay? Sheesh, we already knew that... what a waste of pixels.
It's a Date
1: Coffee and the Uchiha Effect
It was directly following Sasuke's departure from Konoha, that Haruno Sakura began to realize some things. "Some things" mainly entailing what a jackass and utter moron Sasuke had been lately. Perhaps the young Uchiha really wasn't meant for her after all...
And with these melancholy thoughts in mind, the pink-haired girl found herself wandering the streets of an equally melancholy city, everyone mourning the loss of the heir to Konoha's formerly most-respected clan. Many altars and shrines to the young hearthrob were burned in ceremony, and several young girls cried themselves to sleep, others going as far as to take a kunai to their wrists in grief.
Sakura, however, praising herself as the strongest-minded female in all of Konoha, did not mourn. She fumed.
"Uchiha Sasuke, I can't believe I wasted so much affection on you! It is now quite clear to me that you are a worthless, replaceable jerk!"
Upon this declaration, she felt much better, and was later sighted by a group of distraught villagers to be skipping joyously about the streets of the sad city.
Elsewhere nearby, a tall man walked calmly and unsuspectingly in the direction of the young Haruno, the gleam of said girl's large forehead acting subconsciously as a beacon for the man, whose Sharingan eyes happened to be extra sensitive to the glare. The man's silky, black hair was tied back in a low ponytail, swishing slightly in the breeze while the sight caused every girl within a half-mile radius to swoon.
One strand of hair erred slightly from the path the man intended, and so he gracefully lifted one hand from the collar of his ankle-length Akatsuki cloak to brush the offender back behind his ear, exposing a generous amount of pale, perfect neck and increasing the radius of swooning girls to a full two miles.
Of course, the only man able to invoke such a reaction from the masses of Konoha is undeniably Uchiha Itachi. Sasuke had only been able to get his radius up to one mile, another thing he detested his older brother for besting him at.
Somewhere up ahead indefinitely, Sakura swooned for no apparent reason, but only wondered about it briefly as it seemed to happen to her quite frequently, especially when Sasuke was in the vicinity. She paid these implications no heed, however, and continued her joyous skipping and silent cursing of Sasuke.
Itachi paid no heed to his effect on the populous either, opting instead to brood over how pathetic his little brother was, going off to Orochimaru for power instead of earning it the righteous way, by killing everyone that he cared about. He sighed slightly, causing several girls nearby to faint.
He then decided that it was best not to think too much on this, as it was his day off and he preferred not to be so depressed. He instead began a new train of thought involving the Kyuubi, some ramen, a long rope, and a bulk order of molasses and chicken feathers from Akatsuki Weekly, his favorite magazine.
Unfortunately, he couldn't sense the young vessel's chakra anywhere nearby, so these thoughts also led him to dissatisfaction and depression. How terrible that on his only day away from his cowering superiors and fish-like companion, Kisame, that he should be unable to register happy thoughts!
And so it came to be that Itachi - upon forcing himself to clear his mind of all thoughts concerning Akatsuki, the Kyuubi, and his little brother - found himself utterly and helplessly bored.
He continued walking through his hometown, for lack of anything better to do, pausing every once in a while to sigh or tuck an errant piece of hair behind his ear and blatantly ignore the increasing amounts of passed-out women he left in his wake.
Sakura, meanwhile, was too enamored by her newfound emotional freedom to pass out or swoon uncontrollably as the sight of Itachi made it's way to her horizon. She skipped along ignorantly, happily disregarding the little voices in her head that told her 'swoon', 'brood over Sasuke', 'wonder where Naruto is', and 'watch where you're going before you run into-
BAM!
Perhaps she would have listened to the last one, had it not been cut short by her coming abruptly into contact with something tall, dark, and handsome, though the latter was still unkown to her as of yet.
Startled out of her blissfully oblivious ignorance, she was now fully susceptible to the man's swoon-inducing effect. She, however, being the strongest-minded female in Konoha - or so she assured herself - miraculously kept herself from immediately fainting as she looked up to see whom she'd run into.
Icy Sharingan glared into her. Uchiha... her mind automatically registered, and she unconsciously drooled out the word as the first of the pink, floating hearts began to emanate from her figure.
"Hn..." The man, none other than Itachi, grumbled, sweeping his gaze over the young girl's form, taking no particular interest in the adoring sparkle in her eyes but carefully noticing the floating hearts and analyzing them almost instinctively to make sure they weren't meant to b e projectiles that posed a threat. Not that it mattered; he was the best shinobi ever, and nothing stood a chance against him.
However, something intrigued him about this girl. It may have been her partial immunity to what psychologists and human relations experts referred to as the 'Uchiha Effect.' It may have been her obscenely pink hair and large forehead. Or it may have just been the fact that he was bored out of his mind and she had already proven herself to be exciting enough to make him stop walking, though it was merely an inadvertent effect of her running into him.
This raised another point in favor of this girl: no one, male or female, shinobi or civilian... not even the highest ANBU captains dared to even look at Uchiha Itachi the wrong way, let alone touch him.
This girl had guts.
He watched as the girl got to her feet with a wobble or two, her instability no doubt caused by the Uchiha diluted air around them.
Sakura's gaze didn't leave the mysterious man's, though her periferal vision did quite a job on his surrounding characteristics.
Emotionless, blood-thirsty eyes, blank expression, Konoha missing nin symbol on hitai-ate, billowing Akatsuki cloak... Oh come on, Sakura, get it together! This guy could be just what you need to get over Sasuke! Plus, he's so HOT!
Much to Itachi's surprise, Sakura broke eye contact and proceeded to dust herself off a bit, the floating hearts dissipating. Regaining her composure, she then bowed slightly and said, "I'm sorry for running into you. My name is Haruno Sakura. Would you like to go get some coffee?"
And so, ten minutes later would find the two sitting together in a small Starbucks, nearly everyone around them either fainting (the women) or crying (the men). Sakura sipped lightly on her vanilla cappucino and Itachi glared at his espresso.
"So," Sakura offered with a smile to begin a conversation, "I couldn't help but notice that you're using the Sharingan, a bloodline limit unique to the Uchiha clan. May I ask your name?"
"Hn... Itachi."
"Uchiha Itachi, huh? You wouldn't by any chance be related to Uchiha Sasuke, would you?"
"Ah, my little brother."
Somewhere out past the Valley of the End, in the depths of darkness, a certain blonde was interrupted mid-rant by a violent sneeze from his rival, the recipient of said ranting.
"Sasuke's brother!" Sakura gasped in astonishment.
"You know Sasuke-chan?"
"We're on the same team, Cell 7. Or we were, anyway."
"Yes, the pathetic little brat ran off to Orochimaru, eh?"
Reflexively, the pink-haired girl nearly gave a yell of 'Don't say that about my Sasuke-kuuun!' before remembering her declaration from earlier. Instead, she opted for, "You mean, you think so too?"
At this, Itachi had to suppress the raise of an eyebrow. "Of course. He's a weakling, a waste of time."
"You know, I haven't been on such great terms with him, myself. He's been a real idiot lately."
Itachi took a tentative sip of his espresso as Sakura abruptly went into rant mode.
"Honestly, I don't know what I ever saw in him. He may be nice to look at, but he doesn't even have the personality of a rock. I mean, a rock at least listens when you speak to it. Sasuke just ignores people."
This time, the Uchiha did raise an eyebrow. Somewhere outside the cafe, another few women passed out.
"Besides, I've come to realize that there's so much better." The girl's chin lowered a bit, a blush staining her cheeks as she looked up at her companion shyly.
The other eyebrow raised, and even Sakura swooned a bit. All the rest of the women were already passed out, and even a few of the men in the immediate area. This left the two very nearly alone in the cafe. Itachi was becoming just a little nervous, when a thought occured to him.
Hm... If my little brother is in her cell, then that means...
"So, tell me, my dear..." he trailed off, searching for something that he couldn't quite remember.
"Sakura," the girl supplied eagerly, pleasantly oblivious to any offense she should have taken at the fact that he couldn't remember her name.
"Ah yes, Sakura," the Uchiha allowed some sweet, sticky sort of emotion leak out through his voice and proceeded to take one of her hands, which had been sitting on the table beside her drink, into his, which, though it was sticking out oddly through the neck of his cloak, still managed to look hot, if not downright sexy. "Tell me, who else is in your cell?"
The pink-haired girl almost melted on the spot. He's. touching. me. voluntarily! Her inner self squealed with delight. "Oh, well you see, the only other person in my cell is this slacker named Naruto."
"Naruto?" Here, Itachi subtely shifted from manipulator mode to predator mode. "Tell me about this 'Naruto.'"
This time, Naruto's ranting was disrupted by a sneeze from himself. He and Sasuke wondered vaguely if they were getting sick.
For a moment, Sakura was flabberghasted that her new love interest would be at all curious about the blonde idiot, but she supposed that it was alright. After all, he was probably just trying to scope out the competition. "Well, he's blonde and dumb, and has no manners at all. He plays pranks on just about everyone and can't do anything right. He just gets in the way."
The kyuubi? An idiot? "He's really that stupid?"
"Yeah, and he has a crush on me, too." Sakura shuddered. "Don't tell Kakashi-sensei, but sometimes, I really think we should just boot the trouble-maker off the team. Sasuke and I would be better off without him."
Score! Itachi thought maniacally. "Hm... that can be arranged, you know. I'd be happy to take him off your hands."
The kunoichi was ecstatic. Getting to hang out with Itachi-kun and get rid of Naruto? Man, this was like killing two birds with one stone! Sakura's emerald eyes sparked with hope as she asked, "Do you really mean that?"
Still grasping the other's hand, Itachi pulled both of them to their feet. "Of course, my dear Sayuri... Sarasa..."
"Sakura."
"Sakura, thank you."
tbc!
Yep yep, lovely, eh? The more reviews the story eats, the bigger it gets.