Title: Lie In The Sound
Author: Claddagh Ring
Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi. I do not own Lie In The Sound by Trespassers William. I am not responsible for Sean leaving because that's just wrong.
Feedback: Anything accpetted. Comments, critiques, and flames... bring 'em on.
AN: I was listening to the One Tree Hill soundtrack (I love OTH and James Lafferty but that's completely beside the point) and, as if reading Sean/Ellie fics and doing homework isn't enough, I have to start typing a fic in my chemistry paper all because the song called Lie In The Sound by Trespassers William. I know, weird right? Anyway, the song Lie In The Sound is in italics.
Summary: Same radio station, same heart-breaking song, two hearts thinking of the other. Sean/Ellie.
POV: Hopefully you can figure it out. It switches.
I love you more than I should
So much more than is good for me
More than is good
I don't know when it happened. Or how it happened. Or even if I wanted it to happen. But I know it did. And I know it scares me. He scares me.
He's never scared me before and it's not even his fault that he scares me now. He doesn't know he does because I just realized he did. He scares me so much because he holds my heart in his hand now. The moment those wheels passed the Wasaga Beach city limits without him; I realized how much of a hold he has over me.
Oh the timing is cruel
Oh I need and don't want to need
More than I should
But of course with my luck, I could only just realize this when he was gone. When he wasn't there to say the words to, and add a little kiss just to prove it.
I remember when I would wake up in the morning and couldn't wait to get to school so I could see him. Just see him, maybe talk to him, hopefully kiss him. But if I could just see him, then I felt that it would all be okay if only for a little bit. He made me feel safe, like a friend is supposed to make you feel. But more than anything, I just wanted him to say my name. Because then, I felt real.
I am falling
Say my name
And I'll lie in the sound
What is love but whatever
My heart needs around
Now, without him, nothing's right. I can't sleep, I can't finish a meal, and I sure can't be in his house without crying. Panic sometimes pushes its way into my thoughts as I start to wonder if he just wanted to get rid of me; that I was nothing more than a girl to pass his time with until he found someone better. Or she wanted him back.
But then, my heart – while it may be called wishful thinking or just denial – insisted that there no way he would have done that to me. Because that pleading look he gave me when he said he wasn't coming back was begging me to understand that it wasn't about me. I did on some level, the same level that wanted him to understand that my erratic, brief relapses into cutting have nothing to do with him. But that doesn't erase the hurt that he was leaving. And that my realized love was only known on one side of us.
Oh my sheet is so thin
So I say I can't sleep because
It's so very cold
I hate being cold. And I hate being in a cold bed. I can't sleep and when I do, I wake up expecting to roll off of a couch. I want to walk to the back of the house and check on her, watch her sleep. But I can't because I remember that she's not here. She's back in Toronto, in her own house probably, with her mom getting pissed drunk again.
I hurt her. I know I did. I hurt myself in the process. She was perfect for me. She was everything to me. But I left her. I had to but because of that I'm cold. I'm cold without her.
But I know what I need
And if you were just near to me
Would you go...
Both of them were there. The one I had given more than two years to and had really gotten nothing in return from and the one I had given everything to. She had my heart, my soul. My fucking hallmark card cliché everything. She so wanted me to go back with her. I could see it in her eyes. And it physically hurt me to say it but when I said I couldn't, she just said my name in a whisper. I don't know if anyone heard it but me but she said it.
I'm not great a reading people so I just took it to mean she was letting me go. Not that she could because she was part of me. And now, she'll never really know what she meant to me.
I am falling
Say my name
And I'll lie in the sound
What is love
But whatever
My heart needs around
He saved me…
She saved me…
I think like him…
I think like her…
I want to be with him…
I want to be with her…
He is me…
She is me…
But he'll never know that…
But she'll never know that…
Because I never said…
Because I never said…
I am falling
Say my name
And I'll lie in the sound
What is love
But whatever
My heart needs around
"I love you Sean."
And it needs you
Too much
Now
"I love you Ellie."
AN2: Did you get last bit? If you didn't, basically it's Sean and Ellie thinking the same things about each other even though they're apart. Get it? Got it? Good.
Yeah, I know it's cheesy but I like it! And I think some people will too because who doesn't like cheese?
I write, you read, you review, I write more… just not for this fic.