Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto. Masashi Kishimoto does.

Summary: Temari, Kankurou, and Gaara go on a mission. Oh yes. A mission. To get The Scroll. And just how is Shikamaru and Hinata involved in all this? Major OOCness on pretty much everyone.

A/N: I took me forever to come up with an idea for a Naruto fic. I knew if I ever wrote one it would be a humor fic because I can't seem to do things right and with humor fics I can bend the truth. #siiiiiiiiiiiiigh#.

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"My students. Go on your own to Konoha and steal The Scroll." Baki said, twirling a baton in his fingers.

"What scroll?" Temari asked.

"The Scroll." Baki rolled his eyes like it was something that she should know.

"What scroll is The Scroll?" Temari asked cluelessly.

"THE SCROLL." Baki yelled. "NOW GO TO KONOHA AND GET IT." With that, he threw his students out the window all the way to the border between Konoha and… something else. (Me: Don't stare at me like that you crazy freaks).

"Any plans?" Kankurou asked.

"Nope." Temari replied.

"No." Gaara stared strait ahead, his eyes shifting to Temari then to Kankurou every now and then.

"Okay… WELL, I HAD COFFEE THIS MORNING!" Kankurou said very suddenly.

"That's nice." Temari said, trying to draw out a plan in her mind.

"No! Really! With lotsa sugar and lotsa milk!" Kankurou said, trying to convince her.

"You… no. I told you not to drink your coffee with sugar and milk again, remember? It makes you hyper." Temari said disapprovingly.

"Yeah! It makes me high!" Kankurou said bouncily.

Temari gave him a look like 'bouncily is actually a word?' "Kankurou. No underage drinking."

"TOO LATE!" Kankurou replied, giving her an empty beer bottle.

"… At least it was only a bottle." Temari mused out loud.

"Just… a BOTTLE?!" He looked at her dumbfounded. "No. It wasn't JUST a bottle!"

Gaara stared at Kankurou for a minute. "Where did you put the other bottles?"

Kankurou thought for a moment. "Under my hood of course, dumbass. Don't you see the EARS?!"

Temari blinked. "Those are beer bottles?"

"No. I didn't say the bottles were the ears. I just asked if you see the ears. God. Don't change the subject." Kankurou said like THEY were changing the subject.

"Whatever. Let's just get this done." Temari said all business-like.

"Hey… Kankurou. Do you have a beer bottle left?" Gaara asked suddenly.

"Yes. ONE LEFT. It is my favorite, but since you're my darling OTOOTO I'll let you drink it." Kankurou answered, giving Gaara the beer bottle.

Gaara stared at the bottle a minute before motioning for Kankurou to come closer.

"What is it, oh darling Otooto?" Kankurou asked.

Gaara took the bottle and smashed it into Kankurou's head.

Temari stared at the bloody Kankurou and the smirking Gaara. "Oh great. Now we have a injured member."

"He's fine." Gaara replied.

"Yeah! It's just ketchup! I keep it under my hood to!" Kankurou said, doing that Scooby Doo tongue thing when he's covered in food.

Temari thought this was getting creepy, so she scolded her younger brother. "No more crazy things. Let's get this stupid mission done."

"Okay! I know the perfect person to help!" Kankurou said. Then he grabbed Sexy Shikamaru. Yes. Sexy. Why? I don't know.

"…" Shikamaru said. But he didn't really say it. He was just 'dot dot dot-ing'.

"This is Nara Shikamaru. He beat that Kin girl in the Chuunin Exam prelims, remember? Then gave up on you, Temari. Remember?!" Kankurou asked hyperly.

"Yeah. I remember." Temari said, rolling her eyes.

"Well! He can help us! Shikamaru, we're looking for The Scroll. Do you know where The Scroll is?" Kankurou asked excitedly.

"The Scroll?" Shikamaru looked at him like he was a total idiot.

"Yes. The Scroll." Kankurou replied eagerly.

"I'm sure Iruka-sensei would just give it to you." Shikamaru said lazily.

"Just give it to us?" Temari asked, surprised.

"Of course. It's only The Scroll, after all." Shikamaru explained like they were so STUPID.

"What IS The Scroll?" Temari asked.

"You don't know? Its too troublesome to explain to you." Shikamaru replied.

"Then, HELP US ON OUR QUEST." Kankurou volunteered Shikamaru happily.

"…" Shikamaru dot-dot-doted.

And so, Kankurou dragged Shikamaru to the Academy like an idiot.

"Wait! Kankurou! Don't just…. Walk in there…" Temari warned a little too late.

"Hey! Irukay or whatever your name is! Can we have The Scroll?!" Kankurou asked, barging in on one of Iruka's classes.

Temari and Gaara watched from outside the door.

"The Scroll? You want THE SCROLL!?" Iruka asked.

Kankurou nodded.

"NEVER! YOU SHALL NEVER HAVE IT!" With that, Iruka abandoned his students to the Sand Nins and flew away. But they really don't FLY. They HOVER. NINJAS HOVER.

"… Kankurou… You scared him away with your ugliness." Temari told him.

"I AM NOT UGLY." Kankurou replied, "ACCORDING TO MRS. LLOYD I AM VERY ATTRACTIVE!"

"I think that was sarcasm." Gaara stated.

"NO. It was not sarcasm! I am a very attractive little boy!" Kankurou hissed.

Then all the students died because of Kankurou's ugliness.

"GODDAMMIT I AM NOT UGLY!" Kankurou shouted.

"Sush. Kankurou. You're disturbing the dead." Temari stated.

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Wooooooooooow. Scream with happiness. R&R.