Disclaimer: "This is all your fault! I wouldn't have screamed like a girl if you hadn't shoved pencils up my nose. You used the sharp ends too. That was cold."

(An: In the tradition of this series, I'm starting this because I've got writer's block on everything else. I promise that if my parents make up their mind and drag me along to Illinois this weekend I'll have updates for all of them, but for now... Oh, and Daphine is Di's creation. She's from All that Glitters, which is a really excellent fic, but only has three -cough cough- chapters up here... The reason she hates the Thieve's Guild is because they tricked her... I think, haven't read it in a while. Oh, yes, and Remy and Daphine's conversation -is- supposed to be all in French, but I can barely order a coffee in French so we'll imagine that it was translated (and therefore no accents), ok? Indulge my delusions, hmm?)

Rogue was pissed. With a capital P. She had good reason to be pissed, or so she thought... Fuming, she thought back to about ten minutes ago in the park...

FLASHBACK

Rogue made her way to the park, happily anticipating a date with Remy. It'd been about six months since she'd gotten her power negater, and she'd never been happier. She walked across the grass to the specified bench where Remy'd wanted to meet her, and got one hell of a surprise.

Remy was sitting on said bench, arguing loudly in French with a pretty girl. A very pretty girl. Rogue didn't speak a word of French, having not absorbed Remy in a while. They were sitting very close to each other, and Remy appeared to be trying to reason with the girl, who was apparently just as pissed off as she was beginning to get. They were also obviously old friends, by the way they were talking.

Then Remy suggested something, and they seemed to come to an agreement. A slow smile spread across the girl's face and she kissed Remy on the cheek, then headed off. Remy sat there, blinking.

And as if that wasn't enough, after a moment, the girl returned, and set a ring down next to Remy. It was a gold ring, with the most gigantic rock Rogue'd ever seen on it.

PRESENT TIME...

Rogue stormed into the mansion and sat down on the couch, arms crossed and glaring daggers at anyone who came within five feet.

ABOUT TEN MINUTES AGO...

Remy sat down on the park bench to wait for his chere. Sure, they lived in the same house, but getting privacy there was about as easy as killing an enemy of the X-men.

The girl who walked up to him first, however, was the last person he'd ever expected to see. She sat down next to him on the bench, clearly quite pissed off. She had silver hair and a Cajun accent. She also happened to be his cousin. "Hello, Remy."

"Er, Daphine... hi..." Remy grinned nervously and edged away. "Not that it's not nice to see you, but I've got a date in a few minutes..."

"Don't care," Daph responded. "Look, you idiot, the Guild sent me."

Remy gulped. "Why?"

"It's our ticket out," Daph responded, cheering up a bit. "We steal a big rock, I take it back to New Orleans, and poof! they shut up about us forever!"

"What's the 'big rock'?" Remy asked, somewhat suspicious.

At this Daphine got a little bit nervous. "Um... it's L'Etoile de Tricherie..."

Remy sat straight up, indignant. "Wait. You told them that we could- and would- steal the biggest, most heavily guarded piece of jewelry they keep in this shithole we call a town? WHERE ARE YOUR BRAINS WOMAN?!"

"I left them in my other purse." Daphine grabbed his face and pulled it by hers. "Listen, you idiot! This is our chance! We can be free! For good! No bugging us about anything- my botched job, your botched marriage, we can finally move on!"

"You've got a point," Remy admitted, pulling back.

"So you'll do it?"

After a moment's thought, Remy nodded. "Yeah, I'll do it. Now get out of here before my girlfriend shows up and kills me!"

Daphine grinned, kissed him on the cheek, then walked off. A moment later, she returned, dropping a slightly modified gold ring she'd stolen off a tourist earlier that day. "Give it to your girlfriend if she gets pissed because of me." Then she really did walk off.

"Dat was surreal," Remy mumbled, in English now. He checked his watch. Rogue's never late... oh merde. He waited a few more minutes. No Rogue.

Guessing the implications of this almost instantly, Remy sprang up and sprinted off towards the mansion.

AT THE MANSION...

Rogue was sitting and fuming on the couch, still, and then Kitty and Kurt came in. Unable to bear the happy-couple-ness that had so much to do with her own relationship, she headed outside, hoping that the fresh air would calm her and quell her doubts a bit. This turned out to be a very bad idea.

Remy had just arrived at the mansion himself, and was leaning over, trying to catch his breath. Daphine, his new cousin stalker, flipped over the wall and landed next to him. "Got more details, Rem," she said.

"What are y' doin' here?" Remy asked, not bothering to look up... again, a very bad idea, because if he had, he might've been able to save the situation a bit.

"Call from de Guild," Daph replied. "De t'ing's due Monday."

"Oh, Dieu," Remy mumbled. "Y' mean dey gave us two fuckin' days t' find it?"

"Oui, generous, ain't dey? Who's dat?" Remy looked up now, and saw where, or rather who, Daphine was pointing at. It was Rogue. Not just Rogue though, but rather an extremely pissed off one.

"Oh, merde," Remy mumbled. "Rogue!"

Rogue turned on her heel and ran into the house.

"Merde!"

"Who was dat?" Daph repeated.

"Dat was m' girlfriend... accent on de was."

IN THE MANSION...

Rogue growled. Loudly. This freaked out Bobby and Jubilee, who were plotting a prank in the corner. "We didn't do it!" they shouted in unison.

"Bobby!" Rogue cried.

"Y-yeah?"

"If ya evah want ta live ta see your sixteenth birthday, yah'll come with me, now," Rogue snapped.

"Y-yes ma'am..." Bobby stammered, and followed her.

There was a bamf and Kitty and Kurt showed up, searching for a safer mack site. "Uh oh," said Kurt. "That can't be good."

"Come on, Jubes," said Kitty, taking her arm. "We have eavesdropping to do."

"Um, ok," said Jubilee, offset by the sudden kidnapping of her boyfriend.

IN ROGUE'S ROOM...

Rogue indicated that Bobby should sit on the bed, then shut the door. "Ok, Bobby, here's the deal. Remy's cheatin'. Therefore, Ah havta get back at him. Do you know how Ah'm gonna do that?"

Bobby slowly shook his head. "No..."

"Ah didn't think so. Ya are goin' ta dump Jubes-"

"We're not dating!" Bobby quickly stammered, blushing.

"Yah're not?" Rogue asked, seeming quite taken aback. Then she shrugged. "Oh, well, that makes things easier. You are goin' to pretend to be mah boyfriend. Got it?"

Bobby squeaked. "Why?"

"Because Remy's a two-timin' bastard and if ya don't Ah'll tell everyone about who really made Jerry the Sentient Gelatin."

Bobby squeaked again. "Ok..."

OUTSIDE ROGUE'S ROOM...

"Like, ohmigod," Kitty said, holding her hands over her mouth. "I can't, like, believe this! Remy cheated on Rogue? He's like a love-sick dog around her! And she's getting revenge! And most of all, you weren't dating Bobby!" That last was directed at Jubilee.

"We never were," said Jubilee, as though she'd had to explain this several times before. "We just hung out a lot, ok?"

"If all you did was hang around and plot, why are you blushing so much?" Kurt teased.

"Kurt, like, shut up. We can interrogate Jubes later. Right now, we gotta find out what the heck's going on with Remy."

OUTSIDE THE MANSION...

Daph had shrugged and left, leaving Remy to sit by the gates and mope. He'd let Rogue rant and rage a bit, then he'd go in and fix everything, that'd been the plan. Then of course there was the "We only have two days" thing. Considering that it took a day to get to New Orleans from here, and this (the first day) was practically over and he didn't know where Daphine was staying, he had no chance to reconcile things within the next fourty-eight hours, giving Rogue time to rant, rage, and plot revenge. He was a dead man.

(And that's the first chappy. Do tell me what you think. I think this one's going to be quite a bit more random than the others, because A) I don't have an idea of what I want to do in every chapter and B) it will involve noodle bombs. Noodle bombs always involve randomnes. Review!)