Silence drifted across the land…stray balls of hay are pushed across the barren desert like dust in the wind. Not a sound is heard in Whipstaff…

"BLEHHHHHHHHH!"

"FATSO!" Stinkie, Stretch, and Casper all said in unison.

"Good god boys, I've got to lay off the Dr. P!" Fatso said in his best Sean Connery accent.

Stretch rolled his eyes at Fatso terribly lame joke and looked thoughtful for a second.

"Where's the broad?" Stretch said, "Cause I been thinkin' boys. Dis' here girl...she's upper class. She's dined with the well to do, presidnets, congressmen, the people you see on TV…"

"Ooh, ooh, like Pamela Anderson?" Fatso interrupted.

Stretch sighed in his exasperated tone, "Yes…yes, just like that LAMEBRAIN! But ANYWAYS, so as I was saying, this gal is high-maintenance and we gotta make a few changes round' here for her."

Fatso, Stinkie, and even Casper were stunned still, mouths hanging wide open, jaws to the floor.

"Amazing what the power of a lady can do, eh boys?" Stella whispered in a sultry tone, holding out the last S.

Stretch turned around and his jaw joined the other three ghosts' jaws on the dusty floor. Stella was in a skin-tight, but somehow loose fitting French maid outfit, cut high and low.

"Well, what are you gawking at boys, it's time to clean!" Stella commanded sweetly.

"Wait a second here now!" Fatso spoke up, "That's my dress! What are you doing in my dress?"

"No…. no, Fatso, I think..I ..I .. I like it better on her." Stretch said as he tried to regain some of the moisture that had left his mouth.

"Umm…yeah…" Casper and Stinkie said very slightly agreeing as they eyed the curvaceous woman up and down, their eyes mimicking the look of pure hunger that flashed in Stretch's eyes.

So, after being given their instructions by Stella, the boys spread out across the house. Stella knowing that she had to keep a close eye on all of the brothers, followed Fatso first.

Stella looked out of the corner of her eye seeing Fatso's lips formed into a pout.

"Awww, Fatso, baby, what's the matter?" Stella said sweetly.

Fatso looked up with the most hilarious innocence in his eyes and said, "They never looked at me like that when I had it on…"

Stella's eyes almost jumped out of her head, and she stifled laughter the best she could, saying, "Ummm…well, I really hope not."

Fatso nodded his head in agreement and said, "Yeah, I guess you're right…but I just wish I still had the womanly figure I used to."

"Well, sugar, you're figure is perfectly fine. You're a sexy beast, if I do say so myself!" Stella said, still doing her best to remain sincere and not bust out laughing.

Around the corner, Stretch was rolling his eyes and repeating to himself, "I am not hearing this conversation, I am not hearing this conversation."

"Oh, ya think so?" Fatso said with a glimmer of hope in his eye.

"Of course! Look at you! Not every man is so big and so…manly!" Stella said smirking sexily.

From around the corner was heard a long, drawn out groan, and then Stretch yelled, "No, he's just big!"

Stella saw Fatso start to stare at where his feet used to be, and quickly she piped up, "Stretch, your incorrigible…. and Fatso, just remember, the ladies like it big and thick…not…. stretchy and pencil-like."

No response came from around the corner for a few seconds, but then a steely-eyed Stretch peeked out to glare an evil glare at Stella.

"Now, don't pull that crap with me, you have some…big things." Stella said, staring straight at his nose and snickering.

Stretch's eyes looked as if they were going to pop out of his head, and his usual translucent white was now a pale pink, growing into a red of fury.

"DON'T TALK ABOUT MY NOSE! Now, you listen here woman…this is my domicile and yous defilin' it! Now I insist that you keep your yap shut before somethin' shuts it for ya!" Stretch said in a voice that was not an indoor voice, and with conviction.

"The only thing from a man that ever has really shut me up was a kiss." Stella said lustily.

Stretch's eyebrows went up completely involuntarily. He moved closer to her and almost whispered, "Well, I think I get yer drift, lady…."

"Well, I'm glad you finally get it Stretch…DANG! Your nose really is HUGE!" Fatso boomed.

Before Stretch could explode on his younger brother, Stella grabbed his face and whispered with smoky eyes, "Well, you know what they say about guys with big noses, don't you?"

"YEAH! They got big boogies!" Stinkie said, floating through the wall. Stinkie and Fatso busted into uproarious laughter, while Casper, who had followed Stinkie toward the commotion, floated into the conjoining room shaking his head.

"Nice timing fella's…" Stretch said, with a lingering disappointment in his voice.

"Well, somebody had to save the poor girl from your giant schnoz!" Stinkie said.

Stretch fumed before saying, "Don't talk to me about big things bucky…just look at those teeth!"

Stinkie hung his head, stirred where his feet must have been long before, and said "Aw, Stretch, you know I got sensitive teeth…why you gotta do that?"

Stella walked over a put her hand on Stinkie's cheek and said, "Aww, baby I love your teeth…personally, I think they're you're cutest and sexiest quality."

Stretch cleared his throat, Fatso giggled, and Casper watched from the other room…taking mental notes.

Stinkie looked up and said in an involuntary whisper, "You think so?"

Stella smiled all throughout her face sweetly and said, "Of course…you're adorable, sweetie! Now, follow me…we've got some clothes to fold! And while we're doing that, Fatso you need to…"

Fatso interrupted, "No, since you're obviously wearing the only summer dress I have, I need to go shopping! So, I'll be out until late…you kids behave, alright?"

Fatso paused…

"Oh yeah, and take off my dress…now." He said in complete seriousness, which made it all the more hilarious.

Stella nodded in agreement and smiled, "Well, I couldn't resist…I mean, you have impeccable tastes in women's clothing!"

Fatso smiled at this and zoomed out of the room.

"Now, Stretch, you go help Casper with…" Stella started.

"Awww, short-sheet?" Stretch moaned.

"Yeah, you go help your nephew while I go spend some time with your brother." Stella said, giving Stinkie a sweet glance and then giggling.

Stella walked in to the living room, dawning a pair of ripped and faded jeans and a tight white t-shirt, where Stinkie was waiting. She set down a giant basket full of her freshly dried clothing, some sheets, and towels on the coffee table.

"Okay Stinkie, time to do the fun stuff…matching and folding. We'll start with easy stuff likes the whites…socks and lingerie, then move our way up to the sheets and towels."

Stella sifted through the basket and pulled out all of the socks. As she set the socks in front of Stinkie, he realized that she wanted HIM to fold the clothes…and technically, folding was cleaning. And Stinkie did not do clean.

Stammering for a few seconds before deciding on an acceptable excuse, Stinkie launched into a fake fit of tears.

"Stinkie! What's wrong, doll?" Stella said, a little more than slightly worried.

Stinkie took his head out of his hands and looked her right in the eye and said, "I don't wanna talk about it…" Then returned to his bitter tears.

"Awww, come on sweetie, you can talk to me about anything." Stella said, reassuring the sad ghost.

"Well, see…the thing is…that…I'm a dyslexic sockfolder…." Stinkie paused to make sure she was buyin' it, "It runs in the family, but I'm the only one who got it."

Stella raised one eyebrow, but didn't want to question the ghost on his obviously tough issue.

"Well, see…the thing that set if off…was, well…when I was a kid…Stretch and Fatso told me I was really Mr. Bubbles' kid, and so in the shock of it all, I fell down this hill. And well, I didn't know that at the bottom of the hill was the home of this rabid beaver. And I kinda broke his dam…and then…well, I don't talk about what happened next. But, eventually I landed in the river that he was damming and it turns out they were doing a catch and release program with piranhas…"

Stella stopped him in mid-story, "Wait…piranhas…did you just say…a rabid beaver…and piranhas…in MAINE?"

Stinkie looked at her without flinching, and said "Well…yeah, where else would they be?"

Stella looked him right in his teary eye and said, "You're excused."

Stinkie smiled and floated out of the room.

-

After Stella finished all the folding herself, she walked around trying to find the ghosts. She wandered near the bathroom and heard noises, so, she wearily decided to further investigate.

She rounded the corner and saw Stretch and Casper. Casper was scrubbing the the nastiness that was the toilet, while Stretch, who had morphed himself into what looked like a hammock, was laid back in the bathtub singing Jailhouse Rock to himself and doing his best Elvis impression.

Casper mumbled to himself, "Ugh, clogged again…I told Stinkie to lay off the Mexican."

"I'll fix that in just a second, but first, somebody needs a good rinse cycle." Stella said as she walked over and turned the cold water on full blast and grabbing the plunger.

Stretch jumped, closing his eyes on instinct and trying to get away from the cold water.

Before he even opened his eyes he was yelling, "Hey, what'dja do that for, ya crazy…"

Stretch paused in mid-sentence and saw the plunger in Stella's hand.

"AHHHHH! Get that thing away from me! I was almost got killed by one of those..those...those things!" Stretch yelled.

Casper and Stella joined in manic laughter, and then Stella childishly started poking him with the plunger and making slurpy sounds as it pulled back.

"You're crazy! You're both psychopathic maniacs, just like the doc'!" Stretch said frantically as he ran (or, floated quickly) out the door.

After calming down from her laughter, Stella asked Casper, "What was that all about?"

"Well, when Dr. Harvey first came here my Uncles launched a full-scale attack, but he got em' back with some pretty fancy plunger-work." Casper said through laughter, "Among…other things…"

So, after a thorough scrubbing of the bathroom, Stella and Casper went into the living room to rest on the ever-comfy and ever-dusty couch. But as they entered in, they saw the trio spread across the couch, watching Jerry Springer.

"Hey, Stretch, didn't you date that girl once?" Fatso laughed.

Stretch glared at Fatso for a second before producing something from within the couch cushions. He held it in his fists and in a split-second, a shot was fired from it aimed right at Fatso's head.

"You…you shot me, Stretch?" Fatso said sounding as if he was on the brink of tears.

"Well, duh, ya moron!" Stinkie said looking through the whole in Fatso's big head.

Stella stared for a second and then said, "Was that a gun?"

Casper nodded.

"He just shot his own brother in the head…with a gun. This happens, pretty much every day doesn't it?"

"Yep." Casper said, shaking his head.

Stella walked over to Fatso and put her arm through the hole that was in the larger ghost's head head.

"Ummm…what're you doin' up there?" Fatso said.

Stretch looked at her and said, "What? Ya never seen a big fat dead guy with a hole in his head? Where you been livin'? Mars?"

"Well, actually no…it's not every day you see something like that. But that's beside the point!" Stella said as she removed her arm from Fatso's head.

Fatso continued to munch from the bowl of popcorn he was holding and let out a sigh of relief as she removed her arm.

"Hey Fatso, throw me the popcorn." Stinkie said, disregarding the previous conversation.

Fatso grabbed the bowl and threw it straight through Stretch's head towards Stinkie, scattering popcorn all over the floor.

Stella sighed as she looked for a closet full of cleaning materials.

Stretch stared down Fatso, but all of the sudden started coughing and choking. A couple of seconds later a flotsam piece of popcorn came out of Stretch's nose.

"See whatcha done, ya lamebrain!" Stretch said, still coughing.

The two ghosts started in an unintelligible argument and right as Stretch mumbled, "Why you, I aughta…I aughta…. AHHHHHHH!"

Stretch's yell came as the result of a brief glimpse of what Stella held in her hand.

"What Stretch? Whatsa' matter…. oh my…NOOO!" Stinkie said, joining Stretch's eyes in looking at what Stella rested in her hand.

" Sweet Jesus, not again! Holy hell! " Stretch screamed and joined his brothers in mid-air looking at the cleaning utensil.

" What? Its just a vaccum. I found it in the closet. " Stella looked at the three weary ghost.

" Yea we KNOW what it is. Now get it away " Fatso said, having gone pastey white.

" Boys, look I know you don't like clean, but my God, you just spilt popcorn all over the place. " Stella switched on the vaccum.

" RUNNN! " came the out cry of the Ghostly Trio.

" What in the world? " Stella turned toward Casper who was laughing so hard that his usual pale self was turning a deep blue.

" That was... that was... was...so funny! " Casper said. " I have never seen them move so fast! "

" Hehe really? But why did they? " Stella questioned.

" Remember how I told you about Doctor Harvey and the plunger. Well, when that didn't completely work he grabbed a vaccum and my dear uncles had to spend the whole night there. It wasn't until 3: oo a.m when I found then there in that tiny little bag. " Casper looked thoughtfully at the vaccum. " They have been terrified of vaccums ever since. "

" Oh! That is funny, three ghost afraid of a small shop vac! I will have to remember that. Were they mad at you, for not finding them earlier? Casper...? " Stella looked at the young ghost who seemed to be in some kind of trance, " Casper? "

" HUH? " Casper mumbled.

" Are you ok? " Stella walked over to where Casper was floating.

" Oh yea I am find. Just remembering. " Casper said a little sadness showing through his voice.

" About Kat? You were thinking about Kat wasn't you. You must have really cared for her. " Stella placed a hand on Casper's cold shoulder.

" More than anything. " Casper finally looked at Stella. " I would do anything for her. "

" Yes, well thats love for you. " Stella sighed. " I wish you could be together. I hate her husband! "

" Husband? Well, I do suppose she did marry Vic. Doctor Harvey wouldn't tell me. " Casper voice was filled with pain now. " But there was almost a time we were together, forever. "

" Really? When, How? I mean you are a ghost and she is... um..well..alive. "

" Yes I know... But do you remember how I told you my dad was an inventor? "

" Yes, "

" Well...well...um...I can't explain... I will show you though " Casper grabbed Stella's hand and they zoomed off toward Doctor Harvey's old office.